Man’s Past Comes Back To Bite His Wife Every Time She Praises Him, She’s Done Dealing With It

It’s amazing what real, solid adult conversations can do to improve a situation.

He wasn't a bad father to the girl, he was NO father to her and that is okay, better than someone who isn't ready and overwhelmed and it shows.

Has the definition of "deadbeat" in terms of parenting changed? He pays child support and has a trust/college fund for a child he did not want! Deadbeats do nothing but provide some DNA! I don't understand the YTA folks.

A woman can have abortion, even if her boyfriend is oppose. The same way, a man can revoke his parent's rights. Each one in the couple can head in different direction, it's normal. It's not normal to force someone else decision on other.

If a person is up front about their desire to not be a parent, and you would keep a child from an accidental pregnancy, either don't sleep with them, or don't be upset when they are as good as their word. Pressuring a partner into parenthood is at least as unethical and cruel as pressuring a partner into sex.

Callie chose to have the baby because she thought it would tie Tim to her. Makes me wonder if the pregnancy was actually unplanned. And - if Callie had decided she wasn't ready to be a parent, she had the option of abortion. End of discussion. But guys don't have a "get out of jail free card". They have no rights in deciding IF they want to be a parent, once a pregnancy is confirmed. But they get badmouthed for not transforming into a perfect parent at the whim of the child's mother. I can definitely understand not wanting to be a parent, and if I got pregnant I'd have gotten an abortion. So I feel sorry for guys like Tim who got stuck in a situation that was not his choice.

It's really sad that so many commenters felt the need to project their own hurt feelings about their own lives onto OP and her husband.

Just because someone renounces their child immediately doesn’t mean they can’t later on be a good parent. I think OP’s husband was very up front about his wishes with the kid, and all the hope in the world from the kid’s mom isn’t gonna change his feelings. It is like he gave her up for adoption and he still provided his ex with child support. There is no reason for him to feel anything for the child just because his sperm conceived her. It’s be like every woman who used a sperm donor expecting the donor to be involved in the kids life.

I'm amazed at all the people saying Tim is a c**p father. Those same people would probably be shouting "my body, my choice" from the rooftops had the woman chosen to abort that little girl. Why does the woman get to choose whether she wants to be a mother, but the man has no choice? He made it clear from the beginning he was not interested in being a father at that time but still did the right thing by providing financial support. If he had, as many seem to think he should, decided he wanted to be involved once he was older and ready to be a father, it would've been very disruptive to the lives of both the woman and the child. I would've been very resentful of that disruption if it were me.

Thank goodness for the sanity in these comments. The YTA ones above are so incredibly narrow minded it’s hard to stomach.

You cannot force somebody to be a parent, that leaves horrible scars. It is better for this little girl to have been a child to a single mother or put up for adoption than to live with bio parents that don't want her. And the same way I don't think a man should ever force a woman to be pregnant/a mother, a woman shouldn't be able to force a man into fatherhood.

What amazes me is the fact there is an agreement between the mother and bio father that included child support, therefore he is NOT a deadbeat father. And the acknowledgement that he would not be involved in this child's life. At this point, I would think it would negatively disrupt a 12 year old girl's life to suddenly have a stranger thrust at her and told it's her bio father. People need to respect the decisions made by the girl's parents. AND BU*T OUT, it's NOT their business.

It is not amazing that while you are fighting here, 4 adults are really figure out how to resolve the problem. Please people dont be Jane, not because life has not being working for you means you can judge and screwed others. Tim and his ex girlfriend figure out at that time one wasn't not ready the other want a baby. He is a good father, and the girl has a father so stop to create a sad story like he abandoned his daughter, he doesn't care about her and the girl is lonely and in questionable situations.

The woman wanted to keep the pregnancy and did. Sounds like these two need a new friend group.

Not saying this is what happened, but it wouldn't been crazy to think that Callie saw the relationship fading but was still in love with Tim, so she got pregnant hoping it would get him to stay with her. I'm glad she met Sal and that Ellie seems to have a loving family, not a mother that resents her. Jane needs some therapy to get over her miscarriage.

And this is why we keep our nose out of other people's business, Jane. Tim fulfilled his financial responsibilities, which means he's not a deadbeat. He stayed consistent in his refusal to be part of the child's life, which is far better for her than for him to be an unenthusiastic participant. The child has an excellent father in Sal, and Callie obviously has no desire to have Tim pop in and call himself Daddy. Everyone was fine except for Jane, who needed to stir up drama for.... entertainment? Whatever. Jane, MYOB.

4 years before being my dad, my father had a one night stand with his ex while being with my future mother, and 9 months later, a child was born. My father didn't want anything to do with her. I was born 3 years later and discovered I had a half-sister when I was 13. My father was the best dad you can imagine. He was always there for me, he drove 800km every 3 friday night and 800km every next sunday just to spend 1 saturday with me. He was an exceptionnal father ! He finally met my sister when she was 20 and she never thought he was a bad father. He didn't abandonned her. He didn't want her at that time. She didn't resent me either. She wanted to know me before meeting him. He became a great father for her and a great grandpa for her children. I still think he regretted not being her father at the beginning, but it's not because you can't be a father some time that you can't be a great father few years later.

It's not being a deadbeat, when you are crystal clear from the start, that you do not want the child. The selfish parent is the mother raising a child without a father, dissing the dad, and taking his money. That child has to go through life knowing it wasn't wanted. I'm a woman. If I got pregnant, and the dad didn't want the child, and I couldn't financially be solely responsible for that child, I wouldn't have it. That's setting that child up for a life of heartache. If you're not ready (which he wasn't) you shouldn't be a parent, regardless of gender. How many children have horrible upbringings because they weren't planned but the parents still raised them in an unloving, irresponsible environment?

1st question: what trailer park do you all live in? 2nd question: why are you so adamant in wanting to put lipstick on a pig? "I'll write a check, I don't have to care," doesn't a good father make. It just doesn't. The truth is he's a good father to your (his second) child. He is a bad father to his first child. Final comment: he's not a "deadbeat" dad; he does write the checks. Words have meaning and reading comprehension is a thing.

My birth father pulled this s**t. I never met him. Scum. The lot of them

Uhm... just a random tip for boredpanda: If comments get deleted, maybe also delete the replies to the deleted comments. I was weirded out to find my comments floating around the comment section without context.

Legal abortion needs to be discussed

I know a positive ending but sorta YTA to the lady for going off about being a good father among others well aware of the situation. It was being tone deaf even tho the bio mom was fine. A little weird. But yay, happy mature ending.