Entitled Husband Won’t Reheat Dinner Himself, Wakes Up His Sleeping Wife To Laugh In Her Face
Dividing up chores is a sore subject in households. Quite often, one partner ends up doing the lion’s share of the housework—from cooking and cleaning to taking care of the kids—while the other tends to skate by. Their excuse? They work all day, so they don’t have the energy to help out at home.
Unfortunately, in some cases, the relationship becomes so toxic that the arguments over chores aren’t even about chores at all. They’re about one partner trying to impose control over the other. By any nefarious means necessary. Such a relationship is anything but healthy.
Redditor u/throwawaySarah7, a mom of two, shared how she and her demanding ambulance driver husband got into a huge fight after he was told to reheat a meal by himself. Fair warning before you read: the story is very emotional and may be traumatizing if any of you Pandas have been in a thoroughly toxic relationship before. Scroll down for the full story in the redditor’s own words.
An argument over housework can reveal a lot of nasty things about a relationship
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how her husband had a toxic reaction when she asked him to reheat his own meal. The story shocked a lot of internet users
Image credits: throwawaySarah7
The fact that the husband refused to heat up the meal that his wife made for him, and insisted that she do it for him instead, is more than just about chores. It’s about power. It’s about control. It’s about showing who is the dominant person in the relationship. And it is toxic, unhealthy, and the redditor and her kids deserve better.
Relationship and dating expert Dan Bacon previously explained to Bored Panda that a lack of honest and open conversations about practical things like dividing up chores can lead to a lot of resentment, unnecessary arguments, and even break-ups. He stressed the fact that nobody should force their partner to do all or most of the housework, no matter their gender. At the end of the day, the couple has to set some ground rules for who does what.
“Housework used to be seen as women’s work only, due to a man traditionally being the breadwinner and the woman staying at home all day. Yet, in today’s society, if both the man and woman are working, it’s more fair, loving, and respectful for both of them to contribute to keeping the house clean,” he said.
“On the other hand, if a man is the sole breadwinner and the woman stays home all day, many people would agree that she should do most or even all of the housework. That said, no one actually ‘has to’ do anything in a relationship,” he said that relationships have to be fair and both partners have to see each other as their equal.
“A woman shouldn’t ever force a man to do housework and a man shouldn’t force a woman to do it either. Instead, the couple should honestly agree on what they feel is fair and then go with that. If it feels unfair to one of them, resentment will build up, arguments will happen and they will feel less connected and happy as a couple.”
Meanwhile, certified relationship coach Alex Scot said that dividing up housework is a necessity. “If one partner consistently does the majority of the work, typically it leads to that partner feeling like a nanny,” she explained to Bored Panda some time ago.
“For any chores that both partners don’t want to do, take turns alternating. This will vary from couple to couple but the goal here is to keep communication open, fair, and realistic for each other’s schedules,” she said.
Redditors were horrified by what they read. Here’s what they had to say about the entire situation
If he can't operate a microwave, he shouldn't be operating an ambulance. Pathetic manchild.
Good point!!! Can we know who he is so if he ever comes to treat us we can refuse on the grounds of ineptitude to be a grown up
Load More Replies...Can we please make more progress moving away from SAHM = not working. Especially when the children are under four years old. If she can work her "shift" and prepare herself some dinner, her deadbeat AH soon-to-be-ex (with any luck) husband certainly can.
I'm a big hairy middle aged, beer bellied bloke. There's nothing better than coming home and making my daughter a healthy tasty meal. "Oh, yum, dad!" as she is stuffing her face with fresh salads and veg and homemade bread just makes my heart melt. How can other guys not enjoy cooking??
Load More Replies...He yelled, waking you up and risking waking up the kids because he thinks it's your job to reheat a meal you prepared in advance? Get out while you can, honey, before your kids learn to mistreat others the way he mistreats you.
So what, he can't be expected to take food out of fridge and zap it in the microwave for 2 mins? My man works a 50 hour week and yet he prepares the meals once a week and does all the washing up after I've cooked. A relationship is about team work, mutual respect and communication. It doesn't sound like this is happening but also sounds like the wife has normalised his behaviour because she has no idea just how unacceptable this is - and that's the scary part. Her mother even suggested cooking in batches for him, so we get an idea of her own family dynamics here and it doesn't look good.
One thing that jumped out to me was his saying he almost passed out from hunger and had to go to bed hungry and it was all her fault. That blaming thing is scary for me.
Does he think it's the 1950s or something? I could understand not wanting to cook but all he has to do is throw it in the microwave. And shouting at her like that is not good.
Not even. My grandfathers were raised in the 30s-50s and they were sexist and lazy when it came to housechores (the youngest was awesome but he really was lazy at home). But they loved their wifes and they would have never yell at my grandmas in the middle of the night to reheat them dinner. They would have made a sandwitch.
Load More Replies...Let him starve, if he collapses onto the ground he can drive himself to the ER and explain that he was too lazy to reheat something in the microwave.
It's sad that raising the kids is still not understood as hard work everywhere. It's not generating money but still comes with 24/7 responsibility whilst the responsibility for a paid job usually ends when you clock out. I applaud parents - especially single parents- who are managing family live on a daily basis. I'm not sure if I could do it.
He'd buy a dog so he still has something to shout at. He's a control freak.
Load More Replies...If he can't operate a microwave, he shouldn't be operating an ambulance. Pathetic manchild.
Good point!!! Can we know who he is so if he ever comes to treat us we can refuse on the grounds of ineptitude to be a grown up
Load More Replies...Can we please make more progress moving away from SAHM = not working. Especially when the children are under four years old. If she can work her "shift" and prepare herself some dinner, her deadbeat AH soon-to-be-ex (with any luck) husband certainly can.
I'm a big hairy middle aged, beer bellied bloke. There's nothing better than coming home and making my daughter a healthy tasty meal. "Oh, yum, dad!" as she is stuffing her face with fresh salads and veg and homemade bread just makes my heart melt. How can other guys not enjoy cooking??
Load More Replies...He yelled, waking you up and risking waking up the kids because he thinks it's your job to reheat a meal you prepared in advance? Get out while you can, honey, before your kids learn to mistreat others the way he mistreats you.
So what, he can't be expected to take food out of fridge and zap it in the microwave for 2 mins? My man works a 50 hour week and yet he prepares the meals once a week and does all the washing up after I've cooked. A relationship is about team work, mutual respect and communication. It doesn't sound like this is happening but also sounds like the wife has normalised his behaviour because she has no idea just how unacceptable this is - and that's the scary part. Her mother even suggested cooking in batches for him, so we get an idea of her own family dynamics here and it doesn't look good.
One thing that jumped out to me was his saying he almost passed out from hunger and had to go to bed hungry and it was all her fault. That blaming thing is scary for me.
Does he think it's the 1950s or something? I could understand not wanting to cook but all he has to do is throw it in the microwave. And shouting at her like that is not good.
Not even. My grandfathers were raised in the 30s-50s and they were sexist and lazy when it came to housechores (the youngest was awesome but he really was lazy at home). But they loved their wifes and they would have never yell at my grandmas in the middle of the night to reheat them dinner. They would have made a sandwitch.
Load More Replies...Let him starve, if he collapses onto the ground he can drive himself to the ER and explain that he was too lazy to reheat something in the microwave.
It's sad that raising the kids is still not understood as hard work everywhere. It's not generating money but still comes with 24/7 responsibility whilst the responsibility for a paid job usually ends when you clock out. I applaud parents - especially single parents- who are managing family live on a daily basis. I'm not sure if I could do it.
He'd buy a dog so he still has something to shout at. He's a control freak.
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