Husband Fed Up With The 30 Dogs His Wife Pets Asks Her To Choose Him Or The Dogs, And Probably Regrets It Afterwards
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“It’s me or the dogs,” Mike Haslam told his wife Liz after he felt that he is not able to deal with his wife being a dog owner of not one or two, but 30 pooches.
The couple from Barnham, Suffolk, has been married for 25 years when 53-year-old Mike Haslam decided to give his 49-year-old wife a very unusual ultimatum to choose between him and her adorable dogs. Liz, proving she loves her dogs unconditionally, without much hesitation chose her Bull Terriers.
Since Liz is from a truly animal-obsessed family (her mother bred West Highland terriers and her father ran an animal food company), her answer wasn’t unexpected. “I thought after 25 years, he should know giving up the dogs was not what my intentions were,” said Liz. “My husband said ‘it is me or the dogs.’ I haven’t seen or heard from him since. He told me he was going and had sorted out some other accommodation so he packed his bags and went.”
Mike and Liz met when she was only 16, and got married in 1991. After a family moved into a two-bedroom farmhouse with half an acre of land, Liz decided to start a boarding kennel business. She also founded BedforBullies, a charity which relies on donations and takes on Bull Terriers that other dog rescues won’t, and then she began running an animal shelter for dogs that have medical/behavioral issues.
At the moment Liz, dog person in its truest sense, is fostering 30 rescue dogs and many of them are experiencing very complex needs – five are deaf, two have only one eye. A few of her cute dogs are ex-fighters, one suffers from brain damage and other defects. They require constant care and Liz admits that she usually spends around 18 hours per day helping the poor animals. “It is very deliberating job, you can’t have a day off,” she said. “I don’t sit down till 11:30pm at night so you can’t just go on holiday. And I can’t just turn around and say I am not going to do it anymore, it is my responsibility, I took the dogs in I can’t just stop.”
Although her business is successful, it doesn’t cover all the costs. The irony here is that Liz has fostered so many abandoned and stray dogs, however, her landlord is now insisting she must move out of the property within a year and she’s looking for a new home herself. It doesn’t make her sad though: “I have chosen to do this. I love it.”
More info: Facebook (h/t SWNS)
This is Liz Haslam who decided to choose her 30 rescue dogs over her husband
Mike Haslam and Liz have been married for 25 years when suddenly he gave her a very unusual ultimatum
53-year-old Mike made his wife choose between him and her pets after getting completely fed up with the mess at their house
Since Liz is from a truly animal-obsessed family, her answer wasn’t unexpected
“I thought after 25 years, he should know giving up the dogs was not what my intentions were,” said Liz
“My husband said ‘it is me or the dogs.’ I haven’t seen or heard from him since”
Mike and Liz met when she was only 16, and got married in 1991
After the family moved into a two-bedroom farmhouse with half an acre of land, Liz decided to start a boarding kennel business
She also founded BedforBullies, and began fostering dogs that often have medical/behavioral issues
At the moment Liz is fostering 30 rescue dogs and many of them are experiencing very complex needs
Five dogs are deaf, two have only one eye
A few of them are ex-fighting dogs, one also suffers from brain damage and other defects
They require constant care and Liz admits that she usually spends around 18 hours per day helping the poor animals
“It is very deliberating job, you can’t have a day off,’ Liz said
Image credits: swns
“I don’t sit down till 11:30pm at night so you can’t just go on holiday”
“And I can’t just turn around and say I am not going to do it anymore, it is my responsibility, I took the dogs in I can’t just stop”
Although her business is successful, it doesn’t cover all the costs
Liz has fostered so many dogs, however, her landlord is now insisting she must move out of the property within a year and she’s looking for a new home herself
It doesn’t make her sad though…
“I have chosen to do this. I love it”
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I'm sorry... I would leave too. I'm not saying that what she's doing isn't admirable. I'm just saying that you can't be neglected in a marriage and be expected to stay.
Dropping special needs animals is probably a death sentence for them. Not an option. She did the right thing.
at what point does it say he was neglected though? if this was ever an issue for him before why not say something when starting up the kennel? i have no sympathy for him. and as much as i am sure there is another side to this story. any person to ask someone to just drop animals with special needs over them is scum in my eyes.
I agree with you ! Looking after all those dogs will take a lot of time, which she has to give to the other person balancing their marriage... He doesn't have to stay if she can't do that.
If you’re looking for another side of the story, look into why her lease will not be renewed. Nobody is saying she has to drop the special needs animals - she needs to find homes where they can be looked after. She’s clearly in over her head.
Well it does say it can take her 18 hours a day. Maybe it was fine when it was a new thing and just a few dogs, but by the time it grows that big and is taking that much time, I'm not surprised if he had known for a while that she loved her dogs and work more than she loved her husband. He just had to confirm what he already felt before he left.
Well, I understand why the husband would leave if she was neglecting him. It's not like he expected to end up in this situation when he married her. I don't think anyone's the bad guy in this situation though, they clearly wanted different things in life and split up as a result. It happens.
but you don't throw out a ultimatum if that's all there was to it. i mean really after 25 years he decides this dog thing isn't for him? this was not a recent development and there was time to talk about it before it reached this point.
How do you know that they did not talk about it before it reached this point? You're assuming a lot and filling in the blanks with your own head cannon.
Which can only mean that the wife did not want to compromise at all, hence the husband being neglected. And he probably didn't just decide all of a sudden that living with THIRTY dogs is insane, he probably just tolerated it for years because he loves her. Otherwise he would've done this sooner. No, the wife was unreasonable and did not cooperate with someone she's supposed to be in love with, like a normal person. I am obsessed with dogs as well, but this is too much.
You cannot believe he would talk about it kindly because you've made him into a pantomime villain in your head, the idea that he just came out with this out of the blue after 25 years is simply not believable. What this woman is doing is noble but 18 hours a day, every single day simply does not leave time for a life, I think most people here can understand that which is why they're taking his side, he's supported her and her dream for 25 years but it's a dream that leaves him being neglected.
Because she didn’t have 30 dogs in the beginning. It was, as they say, death by a thousand paper cuts.
I wouldn't be surprised if BP told only half of the story to make it more spicey. I don't think he just stood up and said "Me or them". It's not an overnight decision and I guess it was building up.
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@abarkzie, i find it hard to believe someone who would say. "its me or the dogs" would be the kind of person to talk things over kindly. Using context clues and character profiles is the same thing we all do when we dont have the full information. more people seem to believe its the woman being at fault for the separation and i see no reason for it.
its animal hoarding - mental heath issue
He should have left years ago. His wife is an animal hoarder and NO ONE can take adequate care of that many dogs alone. Since she has them in the house, it no doubt reeks in there.
its a farm house with a half acre of land. they arent all just shoved in a house.
Bullcookies. And half an acre is nothing more than a big city lot. It's DEFINITELY not a "farm" and it's not enough room for one standard poodle, let alone 30+ big dogs. It stinks in there, and she has some serious mental health issues. He was right to leave.
Half an acre is hardly anything.
They look like theyre inside often. She also looks gross herself,
I hope all the dogs are OK but I doubt she is
I just have to reply to the ignorant post below: ffs an acre is NOT just a "big city lot" The bald face ignorance is astounding. carry on.
Um...it's a half acre and yeah, that's roughly the size of a standard lot in the suburbs. Not nearly large enough for that number of dogs.
I've lived in three different major cities in the past 20 years. ALL of the houses we owned had roughly half acre lots. You have no idea what half an acre looks like, do you?
I'm sorry... I would leave too. I'm not saying that what she's doing isn't admirable. I'm just saying that you can't be neglected in a marriage and be expected to stay.
Dropping special needs animals is probably a death sentence for them. Not an option. She did the right thing.
at what point does it say he was neglected though? if this was ever an issue for him before why not say something when starting up the kennel? i have no sympathy for him. and as much as i am sure there is another side to this story. any person to ask someone to just drop animals with special needs over them is scum in my eyes.
I agree with you ! Looking after all those dogs will take a lot of time, which she has to give to the other person balancing their marriage... He doesn't have to stay if she can't do that.
If you’re looking for another side of the story, look into why her lease will not be renewed. Nobody is saying she has to drop the special needs animals - she needs to find homes where they can be looked after. She’s clearly in over her head.
Well it does say it can take her 18 hours a day. Maybe it was fine when it was a new thing and just a few dogs, but by the time it grows that big and is taking that much time, I'm not surprised if he had known for a while that she loved her dogs and work more than she loved her husband. He just had to confirm what he already felt before he left.
Well, I understand why the husband would leave if she was neglecting him. It's not like he expected to end up in this situation when he married her. I don't think anyone's the bad guy in this situation though, they clearly wanted different things in life and split up as a result. It happens.
but you don't throw out a ultimatum if that's all there was to it. i mean really after 25 years he decides this dog thing isn't for him? this was not a recent development and there was time to talk about it before it reached this point.
How do you know that they did not talk about it before it reached this point? You're assuming a lot and filling in the blanks with your own head cannon.
Which can only mean that the wife did not want to compromise at all, hence the husband being neglected. And he probably didn't just decide all of a sudden that living with THIRTY dogs is insane, he probably just tolerated it for years because he loves her. Otherwise he would've done this sooner. No, the wife was unreasonable and did not cooperate with someone she's supposed to be in love with, like a normal person. I am obsessed with dogs as well, but this is too much.
You cannot believe he would talk about it kindly because you've made him into a pantomime villain in your head, the idea that he just came out with this out of the blue after 25 years is simply not believable. What this woman is doing is noble but 18 hours a day, every single day simply does not leave time for a life, I think most people here can understand that which is why they're taking his side, he's supported her and her dream for 25 years but it's a dream that leaves him being neglected.
Because she didn’t have 30 dogs in the beginning. It was, as they say, death by a thousand paper cuts.
I wouldn't be surprised if BP told only half of the story to make it more spicey. I don't think he just stood up and said "Me or them". It's not an overnight decision and I guess it was building up.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
@abarkzie, i find it hard to believe someone who would say. "its me or the dogs" would be the kind of person to talk things over kindly. Using context clues and character profiles is the same thing we all do when we dont have the full information. more people seem to believe its the woman being at fault for the separation and i see no reason for it.
its animal hoarding - mental heath issue
He should have left years ago. His wife is an animal hoarder and NO ONE can take adequate care of that many dogs alone. Since she has them in the house, it no doubt reeks in there.
its a farm house with a half acre of land. they arent all just shoved in a house.
Bullcookies. And half an acre is nothing more than a big city lot. It's DEFINITELY not a "farm" and it's not enough room for one standard poodle, let alone 30+ big dogs. It stinks in there, and she has some serious mental health issues. He was right to leave.
Half an acre is hardly anything.
They look like theyre inside often. She also looks gross herself,
I hope all the dogs are OK but I doubt she is
I just have to reply to the ignorant post below: ffs an acre is NOT just a "big city lot" The bald face ignorance is astounding. carry on.
Um...it's a half acre and yeah, that's roughly the size of a standard lot in the suburbs. Not nearly large enough for that number of dogs.
I've lived in three different major cities in the past 20 years. ALL of the houses we owned had roughly half acre lots. You have no idea what half an acre looks like, do you?