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Wife Offers Her Seat To Husband’s Female Friend Who Previously Confessed She Had Feelings For Him And Goes Home, Husband Is Mad She Ruined His 30th Birthday
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Wife Offers Her Seat To Husband’s Female Friend Who Previously Confessed She Had Feelings For Him And Goes Home, Husband Is Mad She Ruined His 30th Birthday

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Each relationship comes with its own unique (or not) set of priorities. You know, things that take precedence above all else to make sure your relationship doesn’t go south. Or any other unwanted cardinal direction.

For instance, if you prioritize your hobby over your significant other, you’re gonna have a very bad time. Or if you suddenly decide “screw relationship rules” and prioritize an old friend who had feelings for you and that was the reason you as a couple decided to distance yourself from this friend, well, then you’re gonna have an extremely bad time.

More Info: Reddit

When you’re in a relationship, you gotta get your priorities straight, because it could lead to a birthday party that’s missing a wife, or something

Image credits: Micah Sittig (not the actual image)

A 27-year-old woman anonymously approached Reddit’s Am I The A-Hole? community with a bit of a problem.

For context, she’s been in a relationship with her husband for 3 years, 5 months of which have been in matrimony. They never really ran into any speed bumps along the way until about a week before their wedding.

One Redditor asked the Am I The A-Hole? community for some perspective on her husband inviting an ‘off-limits’ person to his birthday dinner

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Image credits: u/throwrabdayso 

Long story short, OP’s husband was friends with a woman who made a move on him, and the result was major fallout

Image credits: u/throwrabdayso 

You see, the husband had a close friend named Ava (not a real name). They’d been good friends since high school. However, a week before the wedding, she approached the husband and told him how she really felt about him.

In fact, she asked the husband to call off the wedding, and even broke up with her long-term boyfriend of 6 years to show just how serious she was about this.

Until then, OP had never had a problem with Ava. She understood that the two were friends, good ones, and would actually all hang out together on a regular basis. But this called for a sit-down with the hubby and the two decided to distance themselves from her. She was also uninvited from the wedding and they haven’t kept contact ever since.

Despite this, when she surprisingly showed up for the husband’s 30th b-day, he offered her a seat at their table

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Image credits: Gilber-Noel Sfeir (not the actual image)

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Image credits: u/throwrabdayso 

OP did not like it one bit, so she offered the friend her seat and Houdinid out of there fast

Image credits: u/throwrabdayso 

Well, roughly 5 months later, the husband was celebrating his 30th birthday. For it, he decided to have a dinner party with family and friends at a restaurant. But, surprise, surprise, Ava walks in the front door.

She approaches the table. Apologetically, explains she doesn’t mean to intrude, but just wants to congratulate the husband on the jubilee. That was, at least, supposed to be it, but, again, surprise, surprise, the husband invites her to join their table.

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Thinking what the flippin’ heck is happening, OP stands up, invites Ava to take her seat, and Houdinis her way outside where she gets an Uber and vanishes.

The husband got back home a couple of hours later, upset as all heck, and accused OP of ruining his birthday

Image credits: Damian Morys (not the actual image)

A couple of hours later, the husband comes back home, furious. He asks what the heck happened when she left, and she asks what the heck happened with Ava somehow becoming part of the table. Apparently, he was just trying to be nice, thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal. She can’t still have feelings for him, right?

Well, folks online were of a different opinion. All in all, most were of the opinion that OP is in the clear, for many reasons.

But folks online were having none of it, giving ample justification for OP’s anger

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5 months is not 5 years, there were obviously some feelings there. Also, most found it a bit too suspicious that Ava just happened to stumble upon the birthday party, having arrived alone to just have dinner with herself.

But besides that, why wouldn’t OP be upset with the person who attempted to destroy her relationship and engagement? If anything, the husband and OP had an agreement to distance themselves from Ava, and what happened now was nothing but counterproductive.

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As soon as the post hit the interwaves, it garnered over 15,100 upvotes with a handful of Reddit awards. You can read the post and how folks reacted to it in full here. Or, if you’ve missed our many articles in the AITA series, you can find them here.

But before you go do something more productive online, would you perhaps like to voice your opinion about what happened here? If not, you can still talk about absolutely anything (within reason, of course) in the comment section below!

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erikah_ avatar
ERIKA H.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd put my money on him still talking to her behind her back. How did she know where they were having dinner? I highly doubt it was a coincidence. The husband staying behind and not leaving with his wife is a huge red flag.

happyhirts avatar
Mad Dragon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My best friend and I have known each other for 35 years, and I can barely remember when her birthday is. How did this woman know to wish him a Happy Birthday, much less *coincidentally* walk into the same restaurant alone at that moment? Something smells fishy.

dersebbl avatar
der sebbl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's so suspicious in knowing his birthday date? I know the birthdays of several friends

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misspolly84 avatar
Polly Hart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In OP's shoes, I would have stayed for dinner, then discussed my concerns with Husband afterwards. It was his birthday and OP made it about herself. At the end of the day, we all make mistakes and it's how we communicate about disagreements and resolve them going forwards, that is the real learning experience.

vera-c-vanandel avatar
Vera1
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the other hand, the woman set a very reasonable boundary. She doesn’t have to stay somewhere and feel awful because her husband decided her boundaries didn’t matter

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erikah_ avatar
ERIKA H.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd put my money on him still talking to her behind her back. How did she know where they were having dinner? I highly doubt it was a coincidence. The husband staying behind and not leaving with his wife is a huge red flag.

happyhirts avatar
Mad Dragon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My best friend and I have known each other for 35 years, and I can barely remember when her birthday is. How did this woman know to wish him a Happy Birthday, much less *coincidentally* walk into the same restaurant alone at that moment? Something smells fishy.

dersebbl avatar
der sebbl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's so suspicious in knowing his birthday date? I know the birthdays of several friends

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misspolly84 avatar
Polly Hart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In OP's shoes, I would have stayed for dinner, then discussed my concerns with Husband afterwards. It was his birthday and OP made it about herself. At the end of the day, we all make mistakes and it's how we communicate about disagreements and resolve them going forwards, that is the real learning experience.

vera-c-vanandel avatar
Vera1
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the other hand, the woman set a very reasonable boundary. She doesn’t have to stay somewhere and feel awful because her husband decided her boundaries didn’t matter

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