Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
User submission
63
Cocky Veteran Deals With A Child With ADHD, Changes His Strict Perspective
Awareness about mental health and neurodivergence is incredibly important. Though they’re becoming less taboo topics in developed nations, there are still people who are completely oblivious. Take attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as an example. Some folks genuinely believe that someone who has it is ‘crazy.’ Which, obviously, isn’t the case.
Redditor u/Dull_Luck8921 recently went viral on r/MaliciousCompliance after sharing how a senior citizen military veteran completely couldn’t handle taking care of her then-boyfriend’s daughter, who has ADHD. Scroll down for the full post and a story about the importance of humility and education.
RELATED:
Children with ADHD can be hyperactive and impulsive. This can take someone by surprise if they don’t know about the disorder
Image credits: NomadSoul1 (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how a stubborn veteran had trouble taking care of a child who has ADHD
Image credits: Chris F (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Dull_Luck8921
Image credits: Anete Lusina (not the actual photo)
The veteran soon learned that he was out of his depth
The author’s story is a perfect example of how everyone should be open-minded enough to listen to others. Strangers can give you some great life advice… but only if you’re humble enough to learn from them.
Reddit user u/Dull_Luck8921 recounted how the senior citizen in her story didn’t want to hear any advice about taking care of her then-boyfriend’s daughter. “I’ve been to war, I can handle a kid”—this was the military veteran’s reasoning. However, someone who’s oblivious to how ADHD works and what to expect is probably going to have a tough time adapting. And that’s exactly what happened.
“It was amusing to us that a grizzled military Veteran was outmatched by a hyperactive 7-year-old,” the author wrote, entertaining the r/MaliciousCompliance community.
The NHS explains that there are two types of behavioral problems that people with ADHD have. The first is inattentiveness, which includes difficulty concentrating. Meanwhile, the second is hyperactivity and impulsiveness.
Someone with ADHD is likely to have symptoms related to both categories, but this isn’t always the case. As the NHS points out, 2 to 3 in 10 people with the disorder have problems concentrating, but may not have issues with hyperactivity or impulsiveness. This is actually known as attention deficit disorder (ADD) and it’s harder to notice because the symptoms are less obvious.
Image credits: Carly Kewley (not the actual photo)
Some ADHD symptoms are easy to spot while others are far more subtle
Often, ADHD symptoms are noticeable in children before they turn 6 years old. Children with ADHD who lean toward inattentiveness tend to be easily distracted and have short attention spans. They often make careless mistakes, for example, while doing their schoolwork.
On top of that, kids with the disorder can appear forgetful, are unable to stick to time-consuming or boring tasks, and don’t seem like they can listen to or carry out instructions. Meanwhile, they also constantly change what they’re doing, and have difficulty with organization.
Individuals with ADHD who lean toward hyperactivity and impulsiveness can have great difficulty sitting still in calm environments. They constantly fidget, can’t concentrate on tasks, talk and move excessively, and often act without thinking.
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)
Behavior management and medication are two ways to help manage the disorder
These kids also find it difficult to wait their turn when doing something, tend to interrupt conversations, and have little to no sense of danger. All of these symptoms can lead to issues with discipline in the future, poor social interaction with other people, and underachievement at school.
If you suspect that your child may have ADHD or ADD, it’s best to talk to a health professional to be certain. They’ll be able to guide you in how to treat the disorder and what potential pitfalls to be aware of.
Typically, ADHD is treated with either behavior management, medication, or a combination of the two. Behavior management is often the first line of action. Especially for kids younger than 6 years of age. The right support and understanding at schools can work wonders as well.
A few readers had similar stories of their own to share
Here’s what some other internet users had to say about the situation
A few readers disagreed with how the parents approached the situation. They were sympathetic toward the veteran
20Kviews
Share on Facebook What do you think ?
Cara 2 years ago
That kid and some of the others in the comments sound like a nightmare. I do feel bad for the poor vet who was trying to do something nice. Why would you let your child participate in that if you know how they will react? And they are boasting about it?
Mona 2 years ago
This was my question exactly - why sign up for this program if your kid can't handle it? This isn't something to boast about, it's poor planning and poor parenting.
Load More Replies...
ElvenFairy 2 years ago
My son has ADHD & would never act with so little respect. He would have been over excited, noisy & would have struggled to not touch everything & not run off if he saw something interesting at that age but he would have tried to listen & would have only picked what he was allowed to. All of those behaviours were solvable in the short term by counting to 5 to bring his focus back into the moment. I always explained it to anyone that looked after him & even though they may have needed to repeat it every so often they would have come out of the situation unscathed. He is a charming young man so normally gets forgiven for being a pain in the bum. ADHD is not an excuse for unchecked bad behaviour.
Brainmas 2 years ago
This is a weird story all around. Kids with ADHD certainly can learn to listen to people other than their parents, and kids often behave better for other adults. Using her ADHD as an excuse for behaving the way she did is not doing her any favors. Also, who is ok with sending a 7 year old alone with a stranger? I understand not wanting pushy parents around, but that seems like a recipe for disaster.
MiriPanda 2 years ago
They weren't alone in the store. There were other shoppers, shop assistants. And I'm sure organisers of the event in the toy aisle especially, overseeing the whole production.
Load More Replies...
Ginger Snaps 2 years ago
Bad parenting to leave a small child with "SEVERE" ADHD with a non qualified stranger to take shopping... and a huge AH for bragging about it when the VET only wanted to help out? Also shame on every adult on here bashing a 7yo child.. seriously, it takes a special kind of AH loser to bash on a small child with or without mental conditions.
Mary G----no 2 years ago
Every child deserves a great Christmas, despite their circumstances. Hopefully they chose this as a teaching moment for her when they got home. But every child is different. Saying "ADHD isn't an excuse" or "my child is ADHD and doesn't act that way, "is so ignorant and arrogant. I've worked with kids for years... I've seen the worst and the best... and when a parent says their child needs certain circumstances, then you listen and accommodate. I'm not talking about spoiling a child - If it's a program the child is enrolled in, you can ask for doctor documentation. ADHD is a mental health issue like any other. We've just been conditioned to think that every kid with behavioral problems is a brat. And yes, there have been times when I've worked with programs that have had to tell parents that we aren't qualified to handle their child or that we just weren't a good fit for them. Hasn't happened often, but it does happen. Communication is the key.
Sandor M 2 years ago
I really don't get the idea behind "Shop with a veteran". A marginalized human category/strat buying gift for others? Shouldn't be the other way around. I'm not from US, but as I know veterans aren't well known after their 7 figure salaries
Negatoris Wrecks 2 years ago
The person helping the kid shop is volunteering their time. The money for the gifts is usually from donations and grants the event organizers got together.
Load More Replies...
xczechr 2 years ago (edited)
News flash parents: if you know this is your kid, you should keep them at home. Yeah, it sucks, but sometimes you simply cannot do what you want to do because you have a kid. One of these days these parents will need to learn that ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse.
Jinx (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
at 7 years old, with adhd, medication is only a bandaid. most 7 year-olds are active during the holidays, and adhd can be quite a problem to overcome. children can be told 500 times to do or not do something but "dont" isn't a magic word that makes children act like adults. therapy and medication can help older kids and adults control themselves, but not 7 and under. i would know. i was this little girl, and my son didn't fall far from the tree. however my son is better behaved in public than he is at home, but that is a toss of the dice for all kids. some people commenting act like they think adhd is just an excuse for poor parenting, and should maybe do some reading on a very real neurodivergent disorder.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I just need to say I saw the term "ADD" used and that it's not a term anymore. It's just ADHD now
MezzoPiano 2 years ago
They're separate, but related, conditions. I have an attention deficit but no hyperactivity (if anything, my energy level is low). My son has the attention deficit and the hyperactivity. He is always moving, even sitting still. He is ADHD. I am ADD.
Load More Replies... Cara 2 years ago
That kid and some of the others in the comments sound like a nightmare. I do feel bad for the poor vet who was trying to do something nice. Why would you let your child participate in that if you know how they will react? And they are boasting about it?
Mona 2 years ago
This was my question exactly - why sign up for this program if your kid can't handle it? This isn't something to boast about, it's poor planning and poor parenting.
Load More Replies... ElvenFairy 2 years ago
My son has ADHD & would never act with so little respect. He would have been over excited, noisy & would have struggled to not touch everything & not run off if he saw something interesting at that age but he would have tried to listen & would have only picked what he was allowed to. All of those behaviours were solvable in the short term by counting to 5 to bring his focus back into the moment. I always explained it to anyone that looked after him & even though they may have needed to repeat it every so often they would have come out of the situation unscathed. He is a charming young man so normally gets forgiven for being a pain in the bum. ADHD is not an excuse for unchecked bad behaviour.
Brainmas 2 years ago
This is a weird story all around. Kids with ADHD certainly can learn to listen to people other than their parents, and kids often behave better for other adults. Using her ADHD as an excuse for behaving the way she did is not doing her any favors. Also, who is ok with sending a 7 year old alone with a stranger? I understand not wanting pushy parents around, but that seems like a recipe for disaster.
MiriPanda 2 years ago
They weren't alone in the store. There were other shoppers, shop assistants. And I'm sure organisers of the event in the toy aisle especially, overseeing the whole production.
Load More Replies... Ginger Snaps 2 years ago
Bad parenting to leave a small child with "SEVERE" ADHD with a non qualified stranger to take shopping... and a huge AH for bragging about it when the VET only wanted to help out? Also shame on every adult on here bashing a 7yo child.. seriously, it takes a special kind of AH loser to bash on a small child with or without mental conditions.
Mary G----no 2 years ago
Every child deserves a great Christmas, despite their circumstances. Hopefully they chose this as a teaching moment for her when they got home. But every child is different. Saying "ADHD isn't an excuse" or "my child is ADHD and doesn't act that way, "is so ignorant and arrogant. I've worked with kids for years... I've seen the worst and the best... and when a parent says their child needs certain circumstances, then you listen and accommodate. I'm not talking about spoiling a child - If it's a program the child is enrolled in, you can ask for doctor documentation. ADHD is a mental health issue like any other. We've just been conditioned to think that every kid with behavioral problems is a brat. And yes, there have been times when I've worked with programs that have had to tell parents that we aren't qualified to handle their child or that we just weren't a good fit for them. Hasn't happened often, but it does happen. Communication is the key.
Sandor M 2 years ago
I really don't get the idea behind "Shop with a veteran". A marginalized human category/strat buying gift for others? Shouldn't be the other way around. I'm not from US, but as I know veterans aren't well known after their 7 figure salaries
Negatoris Wrecks 2 years ago
The person helping the kid shop is volunteering their time. The money for the gifts is usually from donations and grants the event organizers got together.
Load More Replies... xczechr 2 years ago (edited)
News flash parents: if you know this is your kid, you should keep them at home. Yeah, it sucks, but sometimes you simply cannot do what you want to do because you have a kid. One of these days these parents will need to learn that ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse.
Jinx (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
at 7 years old, with adhd, medication is only a bandaid. most 7 year-olds are active during the holidays, and adhd can be quite a problem to overcome. children can be told 500 times to do or not do something but "dont" isn't a magic word that makes children act like adults. therapy and medication can help older kids and adults control themselves, but not 7 and under. i would know. i was this little girl, and my son didn't fall far from the tree. however my son is better behaved in public than he is at home, but that is a toss of the dice for all kids. some people commenting act like they think adhd is just an excuse for poor parenting, and should maybe do some reading on a very real neurodivergent disorder.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I just need to say I saw the term "ADD" used and that it's not a term anymore. It's just ADHD now
MezzoPiano 2 years ago
They're separate, but related, conditions. I have an attention deficit but no hyperactivity (if anything, my energy level is low). My son has the attention deficit and the hyperactivity. He is always moving, even sitting still. He is ADHD. I am ADD.
Load More Replies...
Related on Bored Panda
32
35