Vegan Teen Expects Everyone To Accommodate Her New Diet And Stop Eating Meat At Home, Dad Disagrees
Only a few topics are as contentious as our diet and food choices — particularly the vegan vs. meat eater debate. While we like to think that everyone’s dietary preferences are valid, tensions inevitably arise when people who choose different paths have to live together under one roof. And the issue becomes even more magnified when they try to force their personal beliefs onto others.
This story shared with the AITA community gives us insight into precisely such a situation. It comes from a dad whose daughter, a 14-year-old teen, decided to go vegan. While the couple jumped at the chance to show support with open minds and full hearts, the situation changed once she started criticizing how her parents run their lives in their own house.
And it all started with a pan. “She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger,” the user wrote, detailing how things only escalated from there. Scroll down to read the story in full, as well as the reactions that followed. Be sure to decide for yourself where you land on the matter, and then weigh in on the discussion in the comments below!
After his daughter decided to go vegan, this dad jumped at the chance to show support in her dietary journey
Image credits: Malte Helmhold
But when she started criticizing the way parents run their lives in their own house, he wondered where to draw the line
Image credits: Andrew Ridley
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio
Image credits: frustratingbaconeate
Every family has their stories about conflict at the dinner table. But as the author notes in his story, people must learn to adapt and live side by side under one roof. While denying her demands to remove all foods which don’t accommodate her diet from the kitchen caused tension in the family dynamics, many readers found that to be a wise move. The vast majority of Redditors deemed the dad has every right to eat what he wants in his own home, and that the daughter should stop forcing her lifestyle on others.
With more and more young people around the world adopting healthier and more mindful lifestyle choices, these family conundrums may be more common than we think. According to Plant Protein’s sources, 6% of US consumers are vegan. Whether for health reasons, climate change, animal welfare, or to satisfy the curiosity of what the buzz is all about, vegan statistics show the plant-based population continues to spike. In fact, compared to previous years, it’s now spreading like wildfire. The vegan market has boomed, and restaurants and fast-food chains are starting to accommodate people with plant-based options.
When it comes to a vegan diet, the conversation has as much to do with the life philosophy and ethical commitments as with what’s on the plate. Sometimes emotions get heated and tensions arise, but clear communication and a sense of empathy from both sides can go a long way. To find a way out of this situation, family members need to sit down, have a conversation, and figure out what to do next so everyone can live in harmony.
According to an article on Live Strong, it’s important to consider family meals that work for everyone. While this will be hard, there are plenty of food choices to give you a variety of dishes to choose from. “My biggest tip for these families is to prepare meals that can be easily customized,” Paige Foote, RD, said. Dishes like burrito bowls and stir-fries are great because they use the same base ingredients of starch, protein, and vegetables.
“Depending on your family, everyone can prepare two or more variations of those base ingredients,” she added. “Most veggies should work for any diet, although it’s important to keep in mind how they’re prepared.” And if you’re concerned about cross-contamination, consider buying separate dishware or washing the existing equipment and utensils thoroughly.
Let us know your thoughts about this story down below. Do you think the dad is right to refuse his daughter’s request and draw the line? What would you personally do in this situation? Be sure to share your takes with us below, and if you have any tips for handling these situations better, feel free to tell us all about them in the comments!
The vast majority of readers expressed support for the dad’s decision, here’s what they had to say
!["Karen Complains To HR About My Body, I Uno-Reverse Her Complaint, [And Now] Everyone Hates Her"](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/coworker-complains-to-hr-about-womans-body-revenge-latest.jpg "\"Karen Complains To HR About My Body, I Uno-Reverse Her Complaint, [And Now] Everyone Hates Her\"")
I loved the suggestion to get the daughter a dedicated meat-free dishwashing sponge! The dad here is doing a great job of supporting his daughter's developing autonomy; since she is too young to work, it makes sense for the parents to buy her food and cooking things. However, now that they've been so accommodating, it sounds like the next thing she needs is a reminder that, as the saying goes, her right to swing her arm ends at the next person's nose. She's years away from getting to make the rules for her own "castle." If she's planning on college, the dining halls will probably have vegan options--almost all of them do, these days!--but there won't be a separate kitchen or equipment. And it's entirely likely that her assigned roommate will sometimes eat meat in the room--some schools have a "Veggie dorm," but it's certainly not universal, and even where it exists, freshmen are generally not guaranteed their housing preference.
I def think that part of it is her age, too. If she stays vegan, I think she'll "mellow out" if the parents nip it in the bud right away. They're doing the right think by allowing her to go vegan, but I think this could def serve as a good lesson of entitlement and also could help educate her on the whole contamination thing she's so afraid of
The younger brother never gave up. Same age, same way, expecting us to follow his vegan wishes. Even asked me to get Dr to prescribe a synthetic version of a natural medicine I'd been on my entire life! Nope! It has worked for me that long, it ain't broke, so don't even try to " fix it", buster!! I believe he hypnotized our folks to get them to follow his lifestyle, bcause, while mom supported his vegetarian choices, they were Not on board with the vegansm, at first, Then, all of a sudden, they are members of his club, even taking trips, hosting conferences, blah, blah, blah. Or, I should say, Mom was. Dad seemed to be forced to go along with all the nonsense. Also, if offered anything with meat at relatives homes, mom always had a robotic sounding response, same one, word for word. My aunt said it sounded militant. It did! That is why I believe he brainwashed them. He still had control on them when moved to assisted living, but not nursing homes.Then, he just quit visiting them.
She might not be able to get a tax-paying job, but can definitely do things like dog walking and babysitting/mother's helper.
She isn’t too young to work now, as it was two years ago, so she’d be 16. I wonder if she is still vegan?
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
How is supporting animal cruelty and accelerating the climate crisis the same as "doing a great job to support the daughter"? Makes no sense
The mother’s idea of only eating meat at relatives’ houses. What makes her think that, once the daughter gets her taste of power at homes, that she won’t throw world class hissy fits at the relatives’ houses and insist they too accommodate her by not eating meat either. Nope. Nip this spoiled brat behavior in the bud, before you create a Frankenstein that can’t be UNcreated.
Mom certainly comes off as an enabling wuss here. I think she needs to grow up a bit as well.
I suspect the daughter is learning to get away with this behaviour from her mother. Feel bad for the dad. He likely keeps quiet most of the time..
Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster.
Sooooo many people get this wrong...although, iirc, in the original book, the creator wasn't much better than the monster.
The point of the book is that they are both "the monster". But yes, the literal monster is not Frankenstein.
I have to wonder if mom hasn't had her own issues with food in the past and is looking at it from that POV. Beyond that, no, you cannot let a 14 yo determine the rules in your own home. She will be in for a very rude awakening when she goes out into the real world and finds out that a temper tantrum won't end up with her getting her way. Lastly, educate her on the purpose of a dishwasher. It is built to clean and sanitize dishes. It is not make to spread contaminants.
She already did get the power at home and I'm sure it's not the 1st time. Hello rude daughter the kitchen is now your responsibility if your so worried about contamination or how about everything in here gets cleaned get over it. They should not have bought those pots and pans either (they lost the power). What will be next she needs the primary bedroom due to certain conditions and you giving in because it's no big deal we want to be supportive.
They should've said" okay. If you don't want to use the dishwasher ,fine. Wash your own damn dishes. Instead of us eating meat at a relatives house,how about you eat what you want at a relatives house? That last request sounds unreasonable right? Well,that's what you sounded like. "
Seriously?! Put your foot down and parent that girl. Teach her that she can’t force her lifestyle on everyone else. Its time for a valuable lesson in compromise and getting along with others. Otherwise you are just raising another entitled whiny adult
Seriously I suspect that she is risking very seriou ongoing psychological problems for the daughter, that could result in a life time of psychiatric problems for her. (Speaking as someone who has a close friend who let her daughter get away with that sort of rubbish.) I would also suggest that the parents consult the daughter's school re any social problems she is having there,.
I wonder where she got it and if it’s a trend she seen or friends are doing so she is too. Peer pressure at that age is rough.
I loved the suggestion to get the daughter a dedicated meat-free dishwashing sponge! The dad here is doing a great job of supporting his daughter's developing autonomy; since she is too young to work, it makes sense for the parents to buy her food and cooking things. However, now that they've been so accommodating, it sounds like the next thing she needs is a reminder that, as the saying goes, her right to swing her arm ends at the next person's nose. She's years away from getting to make the rules for her own "castle." If she's planning on college, the dining halls will probably have vegan options--almost all of them do, these days!--but there won't be a separate kitchen or equipment. And it's entirely likely that her assigned roommate will sometimes eat meat in the room--some schools have a "Veggie dorm," but it's certainly not universal, and even where it exists, freshmen are generally not guaranteed their housing preference.
I def think that part of it is her age, too. If she stays vegan, I think she'll "mellow out" if the parents nip it in the bud right away. They're doing the right think by allowing her to go vegan, but I think this could def serve as a good lesson of entitlement and also could help educate her on the whole contamination thing she's so afraid of
The younger brother never gave up. Same age, same way, expecting us to follow his vegan wishes. Even asked me to get Dr to prescribe a synthetic version of a natural medicine I'd been on my entire life! Nope! It has worked for me that long, it ain't broke, so don't even try to " fix it", buster!! I believe he hypnotized our folks to get them to follow his lifestyle, bcause, while mom supported his vegetarian choices, they were Not on board with the vegansm, at first, Then, all of a sudden, they are members of his club, even taking trips, hosting conferences, blah, blah, blah. Or, I should say, Mom was. Dad seemed to be forced to go along with all the nonsense. Also, if offered anything with meat at relatives homes, mom always had a robotic sounding response, same one, word for word. My aunt said it sounded militant. It did! That is why I believe he brainwashed them. He still had control on them when moved to assisted living, but not nursing homes.Then, he just quit visiting them.
She might not be able to get a tax-paying job, but can definitely do things like dog walking and babysitting/mother's helper.
She isn’t too young to work now, as it was two years ago, so she’d be 16. I wonder if she is still vegan?
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
How is supporting animal cruelty and accelerating the climate crisis the same as "doing a great job to support the daughter"? Makes no sense
The mother’s idea of only eating meat at relatives’ houses. What makes her think that, once the daughter gets her taste of power at homes, that she won’t throw world class hissy fits at the relatives’ houses and insist they too accommodate her by not eating meat either. Nope. Nip this spoiled brat behavior in the bud, before you create a Frankenstein that can’t be UNcreated.
Mom certainly comes off as an enabling wuss here. I think she needs to grow up a bit as well.
I suspect the daughter is learning to get away with this behaviour from her mother. Feel bad for the dad. He likely keeps quiet most of the time..
Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster.
Sooooo many people get this wrong...although, iirc, in the original book, the creator wasn't much better than the monster.
The point of the book is that they are both "the monster". But yes, the literal monster is not Frankenstein.
I have to wonder if mom hasn't had her own issues with food in the past and is looking at it from that POV. Beyond that, no, you cannot let a 14 yo determine the rules in your own home. She will be in for a very rude awakening when she goes out into the real world and finds out that a temper tantrum won't end up with her getting her way. Lastly, educate her on the purpose of a dishwasher. It is built to clean and sanitize dishes. It is not make to spread contaminants.
She already did get the power at home and I'm sure it's not the 1st time. Hello rude daughter the kitchen is now your responsibility if your so worried about contamination or how about everything in here gets cleaned get over it. They should not have bought those pots and pans either (they lost the power). What will be next she needs the primary bedroom due to certain conditions and you giving in because it's no big deal we want to be supportive.
They should've said" okay. If you don't want to use the dishwasher ,fine. Wash your own damn dishes. Instead of us eating meat at a relatives house,how about you eat what you want at a relatives house? That last request sounds unreasonable right? Well,that's what you sounded like. "
Seriously?! Put your foot down and parent that girl. Teach her that she can’t force her lifestyle on everyone else. Its time for a valuable lesson in compromise and getting along with others. Otherwise you are just raising another entitled whiny adult
Seriously I suspect that she is risking very seriou ongoing psychological problems for the daughter, that could result in a life time of psychiatric problems for her. (Speaking as someone who has a close friend who let her daughter get away with that sort of rubbish.) I would also suggest that the parents consult the daughter's school re any social problems she is having there,.
I wonder where she got it and if it’s a trend she seen or friends are doing so she is too. Peer pressure at that age is rough.