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46 Parents Who Made Their Kids Follow Rules That Turned Out To Be Weird, Toxic, Or Terrifying In Retrospect
“You live under my roof, you follow my rules.” Many of us heard this from our parents as children. It was their way of enforcing boundaries and expectations for everyone in the home.
Sure, most of them promoted safety and encouraged responsibility. However, there were rules that were rather odd in nature, only to find out the real and, sometimes, even unsettling reasons behind them upon reaching adulthood.
This was a topic of discussion in a recent Threads post, where people shared their stories without holding back. Scroll through to see what they had to see.
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#1
I was told to never open my blinds. The neighbor was peeping on me. Stills gives me the ick.
Littlemiss 47 minutes ago
My father caught a peeping tom in the act. He went out and talked with the guy. My bedroom became a fortress, locked windows, our doors got d**d bolts, and the house was alarmed. He befriended the guy instead of protecting me. I was 6.
RELATED:
#2
When we were kids it would get so hot over the summer we would leave the windows wide open. Suddenly one summer our Tata swapped out our front door screen for a security door & we were forbidden to leave the windows open at night. As an adult we watched a documentary on Richard Ramirez and found out our neighborhood was one of his hunting grounds. We called our mom & she confirmed.
#3
You did not talk about the family goings on outside the family. I’d say the treatment of my foster siblings was [horrible] at times but we can’t talk about that.
#4
Not allowed in the house after school. Change clothes, do your homework on the backporch, then do your chores. After that you could do anything you wanted but couldn't go in the house until mom called us for supper. After everyone had eaten everything mom had put on our plate, dad would go set and watch TV. He picked the show and no one could speak. We were sent to bed at random times.
We were afraid of dad, his punishment was illegal to say the least. We were never touched for a hug or bedtime thing.
#5
Growing up, my family lived in a large old house surrounded by woods. Every night at exactly 9:00 PM, my mom would make my sister and me go into the living room, close all the heavy velvet curtains, and sit on the rug until 9:15 PM. She called it "quiet quarter." We weren't allowed to talk, move, or look toward the windows, no matter what we heard outside.
We thought it was just a weird family game to get us to calm down before bed.
Last month at thanksgiving, i brought it up casually, laughing about how weird that routine was. My mom's face was completely drained of color. She leaned in and whispered, "That wasn't a game."
She told me that for the first six months after we moved in, every night at 9:05 PM, something would walk up onto our back porch, stand right against the glass door, and heavy-breathe while scratching its fingernails against the pane until 9:12 PM.
She kept us in the living room so we would never look through the window and see whatever it was looking back at us.
#6
Whenever the Schwann’s guy would come through our neighborhood my Mom would scream at my sister and I to go downstairs. Even she would lay on the floor to avoid being seen. We always thought she just didn’t want to answer the door.
Nope— Schwann’s Man was [an offender] and commented to my Mom about how “breathtakingly beautiful” my sister and I were. My Dad’s employee recognized him when he came to deliver an order to our house. Dad told Mom to never open the door for him again.
#7
The pantry was locked so I wouldn't snack. I was very thin, but apparently I needed discipline.
rena.bena.ding.dong:
No snacks allowed after 5 years old or unless you were pregnant. I was so hungry all the time omg
#8
No sleepovers. Not anywhere, relatives, best friends, school outings… I get it now.
Jo Firth 3 hours ago
I wasn't allowed to leave our front yard to play with local kids on the street during the day. My routine until I was 17 and had my own car and part-time job was go to school/come home/repeat the next day. Weekends I wasn't allowed out until I bought said car and found some form of freedom. Even then, if I was going to be 10minutes late home I had to call my mother and let her know. It was dressed up as concern but I realise now (many years later) that it was just coercive control.
#9
No one was allowed to sleep over at our house. This was my Mom protecting THEM.
astheshadowsfall 3 hours ago
Sad that the mom recognized this but did not take additional steps.
#10
When I was sick - like fever / puking / fuzzy head sick - my stepdad would make me sit crisscross applesauce under a pyramid of dowel rods with plastic tube joints holding them together.
It drew out the illness.
My mom just gave me Tylenol.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
Pyramid power! Supposedly if you put a blunt razor in the middle of one the blade gets sharper. I read some weird "factual" books as a kid.
#11
Not so much terrifying as sad; when I was a teenager one day my mom got really upset and told me I wasn’t allowed to check the mailbox or answer the phone. No exceptions and no explanation. Turns out my biological sister (I was adopted) had found me and was trying to connect. Years later when I found her she told me my mom wrote her a letter saying I had [passed away].
#13
I wasn’t allowed to look in the mirror for a long time so that I wouldn’t think I was too cute and get haughty.
#14
I was raised by my aunt, starting at age 7, until I ran away at 16.
I wasn't allowed to sit on the furniture. Couldn't drink anything except for water or have snacks unless her grandkids were over. If I had something her kids or grandkids wanted, I had to give it to them, even if it had been a gift. If I objected, I was grounded for months at a time. Once, for a year.
I didnt realize none of that was normal until I was older.
#15
- You finish everything on your plate.
I was forced to eat vegetables I hated- mostly beans, but also mixed vegetables. I had to sit in my chair at the table until I ate them all. If I didn't finish by bed, I got them for breakfast the next morning. To this day I barely eat vegetables.
Also, my mom made me keep my hair short, like boy short, until I was old enough to pay for my own haircuts. I started babysitting at 12 so I could grow my hair.
#17
I was told to never wear high heels around a man we knew. I was a child. Didn't realize how bad that was until years later. Gross. So so gross.
#18
In my teen years, I had to wear clothes many sizes larger than what I actually was to hide my figure. Like, pants were size 8-12 and shirts size large.
#19
When my brother and I had a fight, we would be locked in a dog cage in the backyard. If we fought in the car, we would get "bagged" and were forced to wear pillowcases on our heads until we reached our destination. It could be 45 minutes up to 4 hours. We laughed about it telling friends and it only dawned on us how messed up it was when we realized our friends were not laughing.
#20
Not being able to use the couch cushions/pillows and blankets because those were only to decorate when we had guests over.
Ends up my mom has untreated OCD and only told us years later LOL explains a lot of her behavior.
#21
My sister and I were never supposed to be alone at our grandfathers house… didn’t find out why until I was well into my teens, long after he passed away. This was my mom’s dad.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
Why even keep the Grandfather in the family of he was getting up to no good? Just go no contact?
#22
We weren't allowed to say "that's not fair" because "life isn't fair."
To this day I am preoccupied with fairness, equality, justice - to an almost obsessive extent.
Sounds like the beginning of a superhero movie but it's just crippling anxiety.
#23
When I was young my mom made us go to bed at 6pm. I remember the sun being out and hearing kids outside playing. She got married soon after and the guy had a daughter so that rule went away but I really think she just didn’t want to deal with us. We spent all day outside playing when we weren’t at school and wasn’t allowed to come in until she called us in for dinner and then it was baths and bed. I can’t imagine just napping, never checking on my kids and having your young kids roaming the neighborhood all day. I had a friend who lived down the street. Her mom was like my second mom. I remember rollerskating and falling on my knee and scraping it pretty bad and her cleaning and bandaging it because I knew I wasn’t allowed to go home. And on school days we were in after school child care until they closed so then home, dinner, bed.
#24
Meals would be done in order of age, my parents ate first, then my older brother and sister then me. We never ate together.
#25
Going to the toilet.
First I had to ask permission then I had to wait until the toilet door was unlocked. My mother would then stand by the open toilet door until I sat down I would then hand her the toilet paper mother would tear off three squares and hand them to me. That's all I was allowed if I needed more my parents took it as a sign that I was eating and drinking too much.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
Had the mum experienced extreme poverty? Or was it just pure control?
#26
I only recently found out that locked up food isnt normal or usual. And at my grandma's i was allowed snacking as much as i wanted and curiously, i didnt snack that much, but i ate "real meals" much better there. My grandma also didn't purposefully cook stuff i hated either.
#27
My mother would force me into extended periods of silence. She was terrifying so of course I complied.
She would tell me that there might come a day when being silent would save our lives and if I couldn’t be quiet she’d have to smother me like the baby from MASH.
#28
My mom told me a dragon lived behind the town houses at the end of the cul de sac. It was really just becoming a bad neighborhood and that’s where they were dealing [illegal substances].
#29
I live on a farm in Appalachia that has been in my family since pre-revolution.
It’s got 60+ acres of woods and bumps the national park.
For GENERATIONS it’s been
- don’t whistle after the sun goes behind the ridge
-don’t answer a family member calling your name from outside the house after dark (cellphones have made this one easier)
-don’t look out the windows
-if you hear calls for help or babies crying… no you don’t.
Multiple, and I mean MULTIPLE family stories confirm these needed.
Ophelia Poe 1 hour ago
I'm curious about what happens when these rules are broken/how they became rules in the first place and how long they have been in place.
#30
Be home when the streetlights come on. As a dad now, it blows my mind that my parents had NO IDEA where we were most of the time.
Damned_Cat 3 hours ago
Same here, but then we would get in trouble for doing things our parents didn't expect. "But Dad, you never said NOT to jump on a bus and ride 4 miles to the Dairy Queen!" We got busted when we called home asking for a ride because we spent all our money on ice cream and didn't have the bus fare to get home. The good ol' days...
#31
I wasn’t allowed to have sleepovers at my grandparents after i turned 8, even though my brothers were allowed to go all the time. found out as an adult it was because my grandpa SA multiple women in the family when they were children. so… yeah.
Littlemiss 35 minutes ago (edited)
Grandpa had a type, sounds like the family hid it and pretended it wasn't happening. Should have just dealt with grandpa, once and for all.
#32
From 3-5 years old, my mom made it a rule that we had to attend all church related things. She would make us go with her to a place called "The Shock House". It was a small home owned by the church we attended, where they did "exorcisms". They mostly exercised demons out of women. The reactions were quite horrific- vomiting, sobbing, screaming, seizing. And yet no one could figure out why I had crippling anxiety and a never ending sense of doom following me around by age 7.
#33
When social media started becoming a thing and I made a fb account in hs, my parents said to not share where we were because people would use it to see when we were home and when we weren’t. I thought they were being ridiculous (because they always had unreasonable rules but that’s for other reasons) since so many people shared when they were on vacation and when they were at dinner, etc. Sure enough, there were people watching our house and the house got broken into when I was in 11th grade.
#34
I thought this was normal for a Christian household - on Halloween my mom would make us all sit in the living room together, turn off all the lights, and watch passion of the Christ. Every year. She would get mad at us if we didn’t cry when Christ was crucified and we would get hit for falling asleep because it was disrespectful. If any trick or treaters came to the front door we were to pause the movie all gather at the front door and pray that the evil spirit possessing them to celebrate Halloween would return to hell where it belonged and then we had to confess our love to God until they left.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
I watched Passion of The Christ. It was basically Jesus being tortured for the whole runtime. At first it was disturbing but by the end of it I was just bored.
#35
My mom wouldn't let me touch my brother. A side hug was ok for pictures and making up after a fight but no cuddly stuff. And her definition of cuddly was him leaning on me on the couch when he's sick. He's 5 years younger than me and we rarely got along so anything like that was rare. It kind of messed with me when I was younger, she made me feel like I was being a pervert but I still had no idea what I was doing. Once on a car trip (I was super sick with whooping cough) I was sprawled across the back seat and my head was touching my brother's leg. She flipped out. "No. No. That's not right. Not ok. Get on your side." He was 10! I was 15! WTH mom??
#36
If my siblings and I did something that dad didnt like, he would get his friend with one arm to play an innocent bystander in which our poor behavior caused him to lose said arm in an accident.
#37
I was not allowed to go near town by myself until I was old enough to work. But if the bears came I had to call my uncle because my parents couldn’t leave work.
#38
Never talk to strangers.
Sounds obvious, but me and my sister were very likely nearly the victims of a kidnapping once. A random guy once pulled up in his car right next to where we were playing.
Thankfully my dad wasn’t far away. This dude was VERY unhappy to see him, and drove off soon after.
Years later, I often think about that man. We called the police, but never heard about him again.
#39
We weren't allowed to eat in anyone else's house, even extended family, because my dad didn't want us to be inconvenient to anyone. If we were at our cousins' for lunch, we were supposed to sit and watch them eat. We would get questioned about it later when we got home.
Rey Rory 3 hours ago
My kid's friend is like this. He never asks for anything to drink, says he never wants food even if offered. I finally got the explanation out of him and had to give him a big hug and tell him he is never an inconvenience or a burden. breaks my heart. He did have some pizza and a soda last time he was here!
#40
Not to tell people where we lived. Turns out in my 20s I found out I had a half sister from my bio dad. I learned this because of the amber alert sent out about him kidnapping her so I get it now.
#41
When a thunderstorm was coming, my mom unplugged everything in the house and sat us all on the couch...no feet touching the floor.
That was to prevent lightning from hitting us!
#42
My parents got camera’s and always said it was because they thought I was sneaking out, come to find out FIFTEEN YEARS LATER they woke up one morning and there were foot steps in the snow from the drive way to my bedroom window. They never told me that shit until I was 28 and now I randomly think about who the hell that could’ve been cause my parents were strict and I never did any crazy stuff like sneak out or have someone come to my window. WHO WAS THAT.
#43
I was taught to never approach or try to help a man, as he'd target me. I was taught men might trick me by saying they had a lost puppy or pretend they couldn't hear me to get closer. If one grabbed me, I was to go "boneless" to make him drop me, kick his testicles, scream, force my nails into his eyes, and possibly urinate to deter him.
I was different and distinct, with gold curls and big blue eyes, all of which would've caught predators' attention. My mom caught strangers photographing me.
#44
Got a puppy for christmas one year. My dad was immediately like listen, 3 rules:
-Avoid sunlight. It’ll [end] him.
-Never get him wet. (yes, he stayed funky)
-No matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs, never feed him after midnight.
I honestly still don’t know why.
#45
I wasn't allowed to talk on the landline or have windows or curtains open during storms. My mom told me it was cause she had a window open during a storm once and her mirror got hit.
What do you think ?
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
It is frightening the known s*xüal predators in families are just worked around.
Littlemiss 57 minutes ago (edited)
I wasn't allowed to eat certain foods in the house growing up. Basically anything deemed lunch materials, chips, snacks, ice blocks, candy, cold cuts, cheese, bread, milk etc. I was told I was too picky and wasted everything so was banned from eating it. I drank a glass of milk I was yelled at and told how wasteful I was and how I was taking things out of my brother and Dad's mouth. I was also told how fat and ugly I was constantly and was told I was a spoiled brat who ruined everything for everyone in the house. I barely ate enough to stay alive, developing a binge eating disorder by 8 and began self harming. My mother complains to this day how much of a problem child I was and can't work out why I hated myself to the point of súìçíďàĺ idealation in childhood. They claimed that I was the most wanted child though.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
It is frightening the known s*xüal predators in families are just worked around.
Littlemiss 57 minutes ago (edited)
I wasn't allowed to eat certain foods in the house growing up. Basically anything deemed lunch materials, chips, snacks, ice blocks, candy, cold cuts, cheese, bread, milk etc. I was told I was too picky and wasted everything so was banned from eating it. I drank a glass of milk I was yelled at and told how wasteful I was and how I was taking things out of my brother and Dad's mouth. I was also told how fat and ugly I was constantly and was told I was a spoiled brat who ruined everything for everyone in the house. I barely ate enough to stay alive, developing a binge eating disorder by 8 and began self harming. My mother complains to this day how much of a problem child I was and can't work out why I hated myself to the point of súìçíďàĺ idealation in childhood. They claimed that I was the most wanted child though.
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