30 Bartenders And Liquor Store Employees Share Their Funniest Stories Of Teenagers Trying To Buy Booze
Let's be real—every day, thousands of underage people all over the world come to bars and liquor stores attempting to get themselves some alcohol. Some of them succeed. Most of them (hopefully) don't.
If you've ever worked at a place that sells alcohol, you know how funny and creative these attempts can get. But if you've never worked at such a place, this post is here to fill you in. Recently, Reddit user FallingStar2016 asked liquor store employees to share their funniest stories of underage people trying to get booze. "Liquor store employees of reddit, what is the craziest instance of underaged kids trying to get booze you've ever encountered?" the user wrote in their post. The post currently has 1.4k comments and 2.3k upvotes.
Bored Panda invites you to scroll down below and look at some of the funniest stories we found.
More info: reddit.com
I used to work at a bar. A girl came in and gave me an ID. I asked if it was hers. She said yes. What she didn’t realize is that the purse she stole the day before, and the ID she was now using, belonged to one of the other bartenders. Calling her over to “look at this” was a satisfaction I havn’t felt before or since.
Me - Do you have ID
Him - *hands it over
Me - This says you're 17
Him - I must have picked up my brothers ID
Me - No, it has your face on it
Him - We're twins
Me - Twins are usually the same age
He left quickly after that
10 year old boy walks up to the counter with a bottle of whiskey. I laugh and just say no. I'm thinking it's such a young kid that it had to be a lazy and/or drunk parent sending their kid in thinking it's no big deal.
"No?" "Yeah, no. You're a small child. I can't sell you that." "Here's my ID."
The 10 year old boy was actually a 23 year old woman. I did the rest of the transaction in silence.
I college I worked at a liquor and beer place adjacent to a grocery store. Lots of regulars and people from the neighborhood. For several weeks I had been serving this one guy: pleasant, polite, early 20’s, 6’4”, maybe 260lbs. One day after he left, this older dude who was in line came up to the counter and said “you know that kid is only 16, right?” I couldn’t believe it. Apparently he rotates from store to store until he gets caught. Sure enough next time he came in I asked for ID. He just said “goddammit” and stormed out of the store.
Weekday night so I'm flying solo. Kid rolls up in a Camaro, clearly 14 or 15 years old, leaves his also underage girlfriend in the car, struts in like he owns the place and starts browsing the aisles. I see him stuff two fifths of Jim Beam down his pants in the mirrors. I lock the door and confront him as he tries to leave. He gets all bowed up but finally pulls the bottles out when I threaten to mop the floor with his head. I unlock the door and let him out. He goes to the car, reaches under the seat and pulls out a revolver and heads back for the door. I pull the shotgun from under the counter, set it on the counter, and hit the alarm. He stops when he sees the shotgun, his girlfriend is screaming at him and they yell at each other for a minute or two, he gets back in the car just in time for a police car to come screaming into the lot. He spends the next hour facedown on the asphalt while the cops tear the car apart. The girlfriend is shoved into the back of the police car. The car was his dad's, so was the revolver. His dad literally dragged him in by the shirt collar the following Monday begging for forgiveness. He was charged and plead guilty, though it was plead down to something like assault. I don't know what happened to him after that.
Guy comes in, says he forgot his ID, but he’s 25 and “couldn’t you just give me a break, I come in here all the time, i was in here like two days ago”
Cashier keeps saying no, sorry, etc, and guy keeps getting more desperate
Guy eventually goes “dude I’ve been coming here for ten years!”
To which the cashier just goes “didn’t you say you were 25?”
I was in line at a liquor store once and a kid was ahead of me in line with some alcohol in a hand basket. He approaches the counter and the liquor store employee asks how old he is. Kid says he's 16 but the alcohol is for his grandpa who is sitting out in the car. Kid explains grandpa has mobility problems and asked the kid to run in for him. Kid hands the employee grandpa's ID.
The employee laughs this big [freaking] laugh and kicks the kid out. As I'm paying the employee is saying things to me like "can you believe the balls on these kids?" "Kid must've thought I'm some kind of moron" etc etc.
He was really proud of himself until this old man with a cane came in and yelled "Its me, [freaking] Grandpa!! Thanks for making me get out of the car, asshole!"
I got one on the opposite end of the spectrum. Worked at a gas station on a college campus. Now some stores in my state are allowed to forgo ID as long as they look over 45. My store was a "card-all" store. Meaning if you didn't have your ID, no matter who you are, I can't sell it to you. Same goes for cigarettes.
This old guy hobbles in on a cane and makes for the beer cooler. As he's walking to the counter with this six-pack I notice his hat. "WWII Veteran. D-Day. 29th Infantry."
This guy liberated France when he was younger than me, and probably hasn't had to use his ID for hooch in decades, if ever. Fortunately he was good natured about it, and we spent a bit of time talking about the absurdity of rules like that.
I had a guy come in to try to buy booze with an absolutely terrible fake tattoo (tattoos and alcohol have the same age restrictions here). I'm guessing he thought that if he had massive tribal tattoos doen his arm we would just assume that he was old enough. He'd clearly done them with a felt tip pen, but it was a hot day so the sweat was making them drip down his arm.
Not the employee, but yesterday I went to the store for some beer.
A kid, around 18 or 19 years old, walks in with a fake ID and the owner looks at it and says "You literally would have a better chance of paying a homeless guy to get you booze instead of this super fake ID."
I laugh and do my shopping. 5 minutes later the kid comes back with a homeless due, gives him 50 bucks and tells him "Buy me a bottle and you can get a six pack."
The owner laughs and then says "Wow... you took my advice!" and honors the purchase.
Some kid used my friends ID.
The kid was white and my friend was black
In college we threw this big party that needed people to wear wristbands if they were 21 and up. I was stuck IDing at the door for a bit and this girl comes up and there’s definitely no way she’s 21, and sure enough when it’s their turn her and her group of friends all get that eerie silent that underage people do when they’re hoping not to get caught by a bouncer. She shows me her ID, it’s my friend. Not just my friend but my friend who had her purse stolen recently. I told her this isn’t you. She said yes it is. I said no it isn’t, this is my friend, where’s her purse you took? The entire group goes deer in the headlights, she drops the purse and they all take off.
She had like 15 IDs in the purse
At the gas station I worked at this kid walks in--no way he's more than 16--heads straight to the beer cooler as my co-workers and I stare incredulously.
He grabs a 12-pack and as he's approaching the counter, I ask "Can I see your ID?" He looks me in the eye, says "Nope", drops a $20 on the counter and walks out.
We weren't sure what to do after that, because he didn't exactly steal anything, but we also couldn't just accept the money, because that would be selling to a minor.
I left it for my boss to figure out.
Worked at a beer store/bar a few years back.
Two kids come in, look to be in their 20s (I wasn’t behind the bar, so I’m only going on what was told to me), and sit at the bar. They call the bartender over and order, and she asks for IDs, which they present.
She immediately sees something’s weird about the card and calls over our boss (the owner) who takes a look and is like “ya that’s pretty fake.”
Before they can even look up, these two dart down the back hallway, towards the private dining room and our storage warehouse.
I see my boss, another bartender, and the store manger go running after them, and I go through the door on my side of the building, hoping to either cut them off, or at least keep them from getting out through the warehouse.
Eventually, they try to hide in an empty dining room, while the owner calls the cops and negotiates with them through the door.
So eventually the cops come and agree to take them out the back door (not through the restaurant area).
While waking through the lot, the one asshole had the balls to say “oh, that’s my car over there officer...” like he’s gonna just drive home.
The cop responds “oh ya? Well mine’s just a little farther up, so let’s take that one!”
As far as I know, that fake ID is still tacked behind the bar like a hunting trophy.
Two guys tried to buy beer. I asked them for ID, they legit gave me their actual IDs. Like a vertical ID that had their dob clearly making them under 18. When I told them no they were like "really man, can't you just be cool?" Like their whole strategy was to hope that the clerk would just be a cool guy.
Hey, at least they were honest.
So here's the thing. In Texas, if you get caught selling to a minor, you are personally liable for the sale. That means you get a criminal charge and a fine to pay. In addition to that, the store you work at can also recieve a (much larger) fine or lose their license. The TABC (Texas Alcoholic Bit**** Beverage Commission) likes to run stings. They'll get a person under the age of 21, usually the child of a cop, to attempt a purchase of an alcoholic beverage. Well, one day I'm working and get a phone call from a neighboring store down the road. They warn me they had a sting come through, so be aware. A few minutes later this like, 10 yearold kid who can't see over the counter comes up and tries to make a purchase. "Nah dude, gotta be 21". Kid leaves. Coworker and I look at each other and are like "Yeah... got eeem. Nobody has their lives ruined today. Woo." And here's where it goes crazy. The cop in charge of the sting was in line behind the kid. And he loses his [crap]. He's in my face with his badge screaming at me and threatening to arrest me, demanding I tell him who tipped me off to the sting, saying it's illegal to refuse to answer questions, and just generally making a huge scene in my store. Meanwhile his kid is just standing alone outside.
Not a liquor store, but a 24h gas station that sold alcohol and had a drive thru window. Had a car full of obvious teenagers order a case of beer. I went up to the window with the beer and asked for ID. While they were “looking for it” suddenly I hear this insanely loud crash from the front of the store. I go to investigate, it’s another teenager who had knocked over a display of chips and whatnot near the entrance. I’m out there for like 20 seconds when I hear another loud noise from the back, I go back there to see a kid scurrying back out the drive thru window with the [freaking] case of beer and the car screeching off. And of course the kid from the front books it and gets in the car too.
I was a junior high teacher and worked at a liquor store in the evenings. A student came in while I was there. He took one look at me and turned around and left with a muttered “[frick].” It was all over the school the next day and I wasn’t the one who told.
Had some sketchy ass girl walk in, ask where the Mickey's were, showed her and she came up to the till, asked for ID and she goes " Oh I'm not from here", cool. I don't care? So she starts rifling through her purse and pulls out her phone ( you need a physical Card for proof of ID, Not a photo) and says "well my phones dead,you figure it out and hucks the phone in my direction, Ok? You still need ID. So then I just said "No,you figure it out" and slid the phone across the till back at her. Then whips out a pack of smokes and screams "then how the [frick] did I get these" And proceeds to slam them on the till, again, cool don't care, I'm asked you for ID, you either have it or dont? I have customers to serve who actually don't act like entitled children.
Two guys come up to the bar I work at. Guy: can I have two beers? Me: can I see two ID's? Guy: can I have two cola's? Me: two cola's right away!
I was working behind a bar at a theme park. A kid who looked about 13 walked up to the bar and asked me for a beer. Of course, I asked him for ID. His response was “I left it in my car with my wife.” Couldn’t serve him, but could fault him for trying.
I worked overnight at a gas station
Kid rolled in around 2am with what looked like a legit ID for being 21. But dude looked like a child. Also saw a cop car parked on the other end of the store when I went to check if it was a sting
I told the kid we can't sell alcohol past 2am. Ended up screaming at me saying "its only 5 minutes past".
Truth be told it was just a cover to keep from telling him I wasn't going to let him buy it here.
On my 21st birthday, I was waiting in line to buy a drink at a liquor stand at a festival. Extremely young girl in front of me tried to buy a Mike’s Harder Lemonade. The bartender took her ID, laughed, and proceeded to ask the girl what her zodiac sign was. The girl just stared at her dumbfounded and walked away to cry to her other friends who were also clearly under 16 years old.
Worked at a gas station/convenience store in college. I loved IDing cops in uniform. They'd point at their badge and I'd say "It doesn't look real to me."
The State guys and sheriff's were cool; didn't hassle them. But the local idiots were douche bags
worked at a liquor store right outside of the university i was attending. had a dood come in, had to be like 18/19. he comes up and gives me the ID of a guy i grew up with... i just started laughing.
Not really crazy but he came to the counter with a bottle of somthing.
I asked him for ID, he's reply was somthing like "is this how you treat all your customers?", in some kind of tone like it was insulting to ask for ID.
I said yes.
We both kind of stood there for a few moments and he asked if I wasn't going to sell him anything. Not without ID, and then he walked out.
Two guys came into my bar. Asked for ID. One showed me his ID and it showed him a few days past his 21st b-day. Second one handed me a paper temporary DL with no picture. Shockingly it also showed him a few days past his 21st b-day. What a coincidence they have the same b-day. Another coincidence, they had exactly the same name and the same address. I just laughed and was like, "I can't take this." Their excuse was that they were twin brothers and their parents had given them the same name.
I worked in a liquor store for a few months back in 2001/2002. New Year’s Eve, kid comes through with an out-of-state ID, trying to buy a bottle of hooch. I look at it, and tell him he’s not old enough.
He replied, “Oh, that must be my twin brother’s license.”
He didn’t get the booze.
I had an underage kid offer me $50 if I sold him alcohol.
“None shall pass!”
It was late August/early September and our boss made the liquor distributors and liquor floor salespeople work on making a stupid pyramid out of 1.75 bottles of expensive tequila (handles) to ‘drive back to school business.’ A group of teenage boys started jumping up and down at the outside entrance to the store, repeatedly setting the sensor for our automatic doors on and off. Aforementioned liquor salespeople get irritated and proceed to use our (automatic) exit door as they approach teenagers to shoo them away. I was hired as a cashier and was relegated by boss to stand in the cashier box and NEVER leave it while on duty.
Therefore, I was also the only one to glimpse the super super fast kid who sprinted past the melee and into the store (thru the automatic exit) and directly to the tequila pyramid where he managed to grab a single handle under his arm and burst out of the store through the (also automatic) entrance doors as the liquor salesmen tried to come back in and apprehend him.
This kid dodges them all, handle under his arm like a football, raises his fist in triumph once he reaches parking lot, then they all run away laughing.
Smartest, most organized group of teenage troublemakers I’ve ever encountered. I hope they had fun drinking their well-earned handle of patron and that they remembered to hydrate, too.
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