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Uncle Refuses To Dress Up Because Of His Profession, Woman Denies Him An Invitation To Her Wedding
Uncle Refuses To Dress Up Because Of His Profession, Woman Denies Him An Invitation To Her Wedding
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Uncle Refuses To Dress Up Because Of His Profession, Woman Denies Him An Invitation To Her Wedding

Interview With Expert

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I think many of you will agree that the least guests can do when they get an invitation to a wedding is to show up with clean and maybe a little bit more beautiful clothes than going to the supermarket on a random day. 

However, the uncle of the bride decided to make his profession his whole personality. He noted that ‘blue collars don’t dress up’ and left the woman no option but just to withdraw his wedding invitation.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Not even trying to come to a wedding wearing clean clothes may simply ‘cancel’ your invitation

    Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)

    This woman sent out wedding invitations specifying a basic dress code

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    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

    However, her uncle refuses to dress up, stating that he is ‘blue collar’ and they don’t dress up

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    Image credits: u/Hayzeus69

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    She shares that there’s also a chance that his clothes are going to be dirty, so she withdrew his invitation

    One Reddit user shared her story online asking community members if she was being a jerk for revoking her uncle’s wedding invite because he refused to dress up, stating that blue collars don’t dress up. The post caught quite a lot of attention and collected over 3.4K upvotes and 448 comments.

    The original poster (OP) shared that she’s planning her wedding and specified a ‘basic’ dress code on the invitation. She added that she doesn’t expect black tie, but something basic but decent. However, her uncle refuses to dress up, stating that ‘blue collars’ like him don’t dress up like ‘white collars’.

    OP emphasizes that she has nothing against his job; however, he makes it his whole personality, which is annoying. She added that this has happened before, and there’s a possibility that he will come wearing filthy clothes. The woman didn’t find any other solutions but to revoke his invitation.

    Community members gave the woman the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge and assured her that she was being reasonable. “I have a ton of blue collar relatives, and I can say without blinking they would never set foot in a church without a clean shirt and at least their nice pair of jeans,” one user wrote. “You’re asking him for a minimal level of courtesy and respect. If he can’t behave like an adult then he’s not welcome,” another added.

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    Image credits: Rene Asmussen (not the actual photo) 

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    “Always remember that the couple has put a lot of thought and effort into planning their wedding, including carefully choosing the decor, venue, and theme,” Alisha Jemelian, who is a wedding designer and blogger, told Bored Panda. “They want their guests to also be a part of this vision by dressing in a way that complements the overall aesthetic.”

    She adds that when guests are dressed appropriately, it creates a cohesive experience for everyone. “The guests’ attire will be captured in photographs and videos to remember their wedding day. Don’t ruin those photos by choosing something out-of-place.”

    Now, speaking about the etiquette expectations for guests regarding appropriateness of attire at a wedding, Alisha notes that physical appearance represents their attitude towards the celebration or event. “Follow the dress code specified on the invitations, and PLEASE avoid wearing white as it competes with the bride.”

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    Also, she pointed out that it’s important to arrive at the wedding venue clean and well-groomed to show that you value your relationship with the couple. “Make sure your clothes are clean and wrinkle-free. You wouldn’t show up to church looking dirty and smelling terrible – so don’t do that for the couple’s wedding.”

    Finally, we asked Alisha how she finds a balance when dealing with brides who have specific preferences or limitations and she noted that it’s important to approach the situation with open communication and flexibility. “I start by actively listening to their wishes and understanding their vision for their wedding attire. By doing so, I can gain insight into what they are looking for and find ways to incorporate their preferences while still making sure it is going to look good.”

    She emphasizes that wedding attire ‘norms’ don’t really apply to the couple. Bridal fashion is breaking tradition as more women choose to wear unconventional dresses and veils. “I typically don’t contradict the bride and groom’s vision unless it is something that I know ultimately won’t look good and that won’t make them happy in the end. I gently explain why something may not look good, but ultimately it is up to the couple to decide. It is their party, after all.”

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    And of course, don’t forget to check out Alisha’s Free Style Guide + Veil Sample Swatches, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube profiles!

    But what do you think about this story? Was the woman being a jerk by withdrawing her wedding invitation to her uncle? Share your thoughts in the comments!

    Redditors backed up the author and assured her that a wedding is not a place to be dressed like you’re going to work

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    Image credits: Hardeep Singh (not the actual photo) 

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    Austėja Bliujūtė

    Austėja Bliujūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi, I’m Austeja — an editor with an eye for everything from viral trends to heartfelt human stories. With a background in business management, I bring a mix of structure and creativity to each piece I polish. Outside the editing world, I’m a travel lover and brunch enthusiast who’s always on the lookout for the next binge-worthy show.

    Read less »
    Austėja Bliujūtė

    Austėja Bliujūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi, I’m Austeja — an editor with an eye for everything from viral trends to heartfelt human stories. With a background in business management, I bring a mix of structure and creativity to each piece I polish. Outside the editing world, I’m a travel lover and brunch enthusiast who’s always on the lookout for the next binge-worthy show.

    What do you think ?
    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolute nonsense. Every blue collar worker knows to have one decent outfit for weddings, funerals, and court.

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Indeed. Your "sunday best" outfit is the most blue collar concept ever.

    Load More Replies...
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Um, my guess is this guy is getting off on the attention

    Jill Bussey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Massive disrespect to your special day. If he can't appreciate that you invited him and therefore he needs to step up his game, then tell him he's not welcome.

    Astro
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. Dressing decently for an event shouldn’t be a big ask for anyone, especially with how reasonable OP’s expectations are! If he makes it clear he’s planning to be disrespectful, he can wear his dirty clothes alone at home.

    Load More Replies...
    Ryan-James O'Driscoll
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not "blue collar" but a lot of my family is and they all get suited and booted for weddings and the like.

    Sonja
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The idea that blue collar and not dressing up equals shoddy and dirty clothes irks me. I get not wanting to wear black tie, but there's a whole world between not dressing up and wearing rags to rub it in. He could wear everyday clothes, but still be neat and clean. Normal slacks, a plain shirt, cleanly polished boots and he would be fine. The way he dresses has nothing to do with being blue collar. It's pure condescension of anybody he doesn't see as 'worthy'. I bet if his boss or a colleague would invite him to a sunday barbecue his clothes would be tidy and clean and his boots would shine. This is pure hatred that drives him to do this on other people's special occasions, so that's why I wouldn't even invite him. If anyone asks I'd say, it's because he's condescending and disrespectful and I will not allow people like that on my wedding day. Those clothes have to at least be clean

    Dan Holden
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Blue collar and white collar are descriptors for what type of work you do. It has nothing to do with life outside of work.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This man is seeking attention at the wedding just like a woman who wears a white gown (in countries or cultures where the bride typically wears white, of course).

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FWIW I absolutely agree. I was 20+ years a printer and I was a mess when I got home from work. It realistically took me 45 minutes to scrub the ink from me at home, after washing up at work. In short, I was a mess, but I would never, under any circumstances show up at someone's "to do" looking like I just walked away from my press. I have always had dress up clothes (for events like this) and dress down clothes (getting together with friends) and I would never embarrass myself or the person issuing the invitation in that way. This guy is (as my mom used to say) carrying on like a blue-assed monkey, having to be the center of attention. What a mutt.

    Load More Replies...
    Jeevesssssss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This isn't about a dress code, it's about basic freaking respect for both the couple and the occasion. You aren't even having a dress code as such, just 'don't come dressed like a slob', which should be obvious. Nta.

    Id row
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A wedding invite is not a summons. If they can't adhere to the rules of the event, they can decline. That simple.

    Tommy DePaul
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could go to a local Goodwill and for $35 have a $1000 outfit (including imported dress shoes). Disinvite this guy and think no more about it.

    Load More Comments
    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolute nonsense. Every blue collar worker knows to have one decent outfit for weddings, funerals, and court.

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Indeed. Your "sunday best" outfit is the most blue collar concept ever.

    Load More Replies...
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Um, my guess is this guy is getting off on the attention

    Jill Bussey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Massive disrespect to your special day. If he can't appreciate that you invited him and therefore he needs to step up his game, then tell him he's not welcome.

    Astro
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. Dressing decently for an event shouldn’t be a big ask for anyone, especially with how reasonable OP’s expectations are! If he makes it clear he’s planning to be disrespectful, he can wear his dirty clothes alone at home.

    Load More Replies...
    Ryan-James O'Driscoll
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not "blue collar" but a lot of my family is and they all get suited and booted for weddings and the like.

    Sonja
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The idea that blue collar and not dressing up equals shoddy and dirty clothes irks me. I get not wanting to wear black tie, but there's a whole world between not dressing up and wearing rags to rub it in. He could wear everyday clothes, but still be neat and clean. Normal slacks, a plain shirt, cleanly polished boots and he would be fine. The way he dresses has nothing to do with being blue collar. It's pure condescension of anybody he doesn't see as 'worthy'. I bet if his boss or a colleague would invite him to a sunday barbecue his clothes would be tidy and clean and his boots would shine. This is pure hatred that drives him to do this on other people's special occasions, so that's why I wouldn't even invite him. If anyone asks I'd say, it's because he's condescending and disrespectful and I will not allow people like that on my wedding day. Those clothes have to at least be clean

    Dan Holden
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Blue collar and white collar are descriptors for what type of work you do. It has nothing to do with life outside of work.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This man is seeking attention at the wedding just like a woman who wears a white gown (in countries or cultures where the bride typically wears white, of course).

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FWIW I absolutely agree. I was 20+ years a printer and I was a mess when I got home from work. It realistically took me 45 minutes to scrub the ink from me at home, after washing up at work. In short, I was a mess, but I would never, under any circumstances show up at someone's "to do" looking like I just walked away from my press. I have always had dress up clothes (for events like this) and dress down clothes (getting together with friends) and I would never embarrass myself or the person issuing the invitation in that way. This guy is (as my mom used to say) carrying on like a blue-assed monkey, having to be the center of attention. What a mutt.

    Load More Replies...
    Jeevesssssss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This isn't about a dress code, it's about basic freaking respect for both the couple and the occasion. You aren't even having a dress code as such, just 'don't come dressed like a slob', which should be obvious. Nta.

    Id row
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A wedding invite is not a summons. If they can't adhere to the rules of the event, they can decline. That simple.

    Tommy DePaul
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could go to a local Goodwill and for $35 have a $1000 outfit (including imported dress shoes). Disinvite this guy and think no more about it.

    Load More Comments
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