Change is constant. But it takes time. Especially when we're talking about society. After all, one person's idea of what is good or positive might very well be another person's definition of bad or negative.
Interested in which processes people would like to speed up if given a chance, Reddit user NewImprovement1160 asked everyone else on the platform to list the traditions and cultural norms they wish would disappear for good. And their call was answered — continue scrolling to check out the most popular answers.
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Tipping. Just pay the waiter/waitress a real wage and stop leaving that up to the customer.
So true, apparently in america waiters/waitresses practically have to LIVE off tips.
Chop off puppies' tail bones so they "look cuter" with stumps.
It's cruel and disheartening.
Forced marriages.
These abominations are destroying the lives of (mostly) girls/women around the world every day. 🥺
Changing the damn clocks twice a year. Just keep one time.
We should agree on the natural time once and for all - which is the winter time btw
Any variation of "let's make animals fight".
Cruel and pointless. they'll probably end up fighting over something anyway
All those familiy vloggers. Exploiting their children en putting them on the internet for all the creeps to see.
Just because you give birth to someone it doesn't mean you own them and can use them for profit.
Not sure if this counts as a "tradition"- but there are a lot of weirdly accepted social norms surrounding pregnancy.
* Asking newlyweds when they are going to try for a baby.
* Assuming a woman is pregnant because she is not drinking.
* Assuming a woman is pregnant because she has gained weight in her belly area.
* Touching (!!!?????) a pregnant woman's belly without her consent (!!!???).
Women are women first before they are mothers! Can we please remember that?
My godmother once said something along the lines of "being a mother makes you a real woman". I had been adamantly child-free for years before she dropped that one, and it infuriated me.
Letting balloons go at funerals, it’s horrible for the environment and the animals that ingest it. Plant a memorial tree instead.
Forcing children to give hugs and kisses bye to family members. Children deserve bodily autonomy and you would never force a grown adult to do the same so why a child?!
*Never* teach *anyone* that they should accept being touched even when they don’t want to.
I'd like to throw in stupid over the top gender reveals with all the wedding stuff. If you're literally killing yourself to let people know your baby's gender, it might be time to take a step back and plan something more quiet and simple. Or if you're just inconsiderate pricks who don't clean up all the confetti etc afterwards.
Respecting parents/elders no matter what. Some of them are just bad people.
In my culture we show respect to elders by bending down and touching their feet. My parents only touch the feet of those who they actually respect and unless they know what character the elder person has they don’t force me to do it (unless I’m receiving blessings for important stuff)
Expensive wedding and funerals, specially with funerals, that person is already dead.
Bachelor and Bachelorette parties that are there to celebrate "your last day of freedom"
And also theyre weirdly sexual sometimes with the phalic shaped things or strippers. Id be pissed if MY husband was MOURNING what he could have had on the night before our wedding by ogling some half naked chick.
This says a lot about how people see marriage. Why would you be less free after the wedding? Why would you see yourself as free in an exclusive relationship? Does not compute.
For Americans, Black Friday shopping. It's stupid, dangerous, selfish, and ruins Thanksgiving. Go spend time with your families while they're alive.
Having women doing all of the kitchen work at parties and get togethers.
Change your friends if they do so. Among my group, everyone contributes. Or tell the men you'll charge those who won't help, just to see their face.
Piercing babies ears.
This makes me SO mad! Inflicting pain on an infant for fashion? That's ridiculous! It should be the child's choice if they want them pierced or not. My parents waited until I was old enough to ask for them.
Asking the father's permission to marry a woman.
In this day and age, it's just creepy.
Paying for things as a males responsibility for a relationship. It should be a 50% 50% thing to do.
Giving your kids the boot right when they turn 18.
Is this tradition? Not a tradition I've ever heard of. Who does this, people who wanna have a bad relationship with their kids?
Presenteeism at work. Even now, I have colleagues coming in when they’re sick.
The father giving away his daughter at her wedding.
Women aren’t possessions.
The idea that it's important to keep traditions.
Or just generally the overall line of thinking that "because a large amount of people have always done this/thought this/believed this, it must clearly be a good idea (for everyone)".
Women changing their name. Seriously.
When I was engaged I floated the idea. Didn't really care a LOT. Mostly it seemed like an unnecessary administrative hassle
He said: it goes to commitment.
I wish I had said: you change yours.
My ex didn't really care about this. I hyphenated our last names and gave my daughter the same. Both of her families are represented.
The husband stitch.
I had to Google that, and I almost wish I didn't. What kind of pig started this practice? It's f*****g appalling!
Men must make the first move
In all fairness, it is already dying, especially in Western culture, but I want to end its misery. It is both a pressure on guys who will hesitate and spiral into crazy plans, but also on girls who can see "making the first move" as shameful.
I met a female colleague who considered the boys HAD to make the first move, and that she will sit here for eternity waiting for someone to go to her instead of going for what she wants.
Want to know how my parents got into a relationship ? They were hanging out with friends, and after some time my mom jumped on my dad and said "You're the man of my life, we're going to get married and have kids". He obviously laughed, but still accepted to date her and eventually she proved to be right
It's not just that men want to sit and have the privilege to be the one asked out. It's that women aren't able to pick who they want, they can pick out of the few who asked her. It's a relic from a time where the women had no agenda and it must die for good. Also, yes I don't want to be the one who always ask !
My grandma asked my grandfather out back in the early fifties. They were married for over sixty years.
Using the same first names down through generations of boys. Isn't carrying on the surname enough?!
Having to ask people to school dances in a "fun" or"unique" way (this one is mostly the Utah and Idaho area I think)
Setting the table in a particular way (who cares if my fork is on the right side?)
Not wearing hats while eating (why is this a "rule", I like wearing hats)
Baptizing children (they aren't old enough to choose to commit to any religion for themselves)
Asking what children want to be when they grow up (and expecting them to reply with a job)
Participation trophies
Child beauty pageants.
I agree, even with the baptism one. In my faith, baptism has to be a personal choice, since it's an action of voluntary commitment. And like OP says, a baby obviously can't make that decision. The participation trophy thing reminds me of George Carlin lol "You're the last winner!" 😂 Damn, I miss that guy
It's a commitment by the congregation and parents to raise the child in faith.
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euhm, fork and knife on the 'correct' side of the plate is just plain and simple practicality
some of table setting rules are there to make it easier to serve food and bevarages, remove used items, etc....it just makes it easier for everyone to move in the world...i like "manners" that help people know what to do (e.g., pass to the left when walking), but when they are just there to establish rank, well, f that
Disagree with a couple of these. Asking kids what they want to be is not expecting them to lock onto a lifelong career at age 5. It is encouraging them to think / dream about things they would like to do. Plenty of kids who wanted to be Batman found enjoyment in some other career. As for baptism - depends on the beliefs. I agree a baby can't choose their faith. But in some churches baptism is simply the parents stating they plan to raise the child with their values. I totally agree with the last two items on the list.
The removal of a gentleman's hat indoors was considered proper etiquette historically. You will still see men of a certain age doing so (my 86 yr old dad for example). However, in this century, it really is only observed as proper behavior in formal settings. I only wish the fabulous hats of yore were still the norm for women, then again, I just would love to have an excuse to wear fancy hats more often, alas, fancy hats probably wouldn't go w/ my yoga pants and tee-shirt clothes that i wear 80% of the time these days. :-)
Wear the fancy hats. I can confirm that if your hat is fabulous enough, no one will care about or even notice the yoga pants
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I was baptized when I was a baby. Not religious at all. Only ever went to church when forced by school. Or when I attend a wedding (,once as a bridesmaid when I was 7 to my Godmother, who I never saw again)
When people asked me as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up, I learned to reply "I want to be a philanthropist!" No one asked me twice. I hear it's a good gig.
As Paula Poundstone noted, adults ask children what they want to be when they grow up because they're still looking for ideas.
Call me old-fashioned, but If I am under a roof, I remove my hat. I also take of my sunglasses when I talk to someone. It is impolite to not do so.
I agree with all this, but one thing that's always annoyed me is that most of the people sh*tting on the generation that received participation trophies don't acknowledge that they were the generation handing them out.
We talked about the Protestant Reformation in history this year and learned about the different religions that came from Catholicism. Anyway fun fact; Baptism doesn’t believe in baptizing infants because they can’t decide that for themselves (If I’m remembering correctly).
I've always heard it as the parents dedicating the child to God.
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Catholics do baptism and confirmation. I like this plan. Baptism is about the parents and family and church teaching you letting you grow into (or away from) your faith. It used to be confirmation was at about 17/18 years old and you as the individual made the choice to accept and continue in your faith. Now they are confirming third graders and I'm regretting my choices
Half of etiquette is treating others reasonably, and the other half is snobbery.
I think religious people considered baptism as something akin to inoculation, in case the baby died it could go to heaven instead of hell. Religion is weird.
Mormon church. Why am I not surprised. Y’know the entire deal with Baptism, the religion clearly named after baptisms, condones baptizing infants and those who cannot choose for themselves? :)
Load More Replies...Groom pulling off the garter with his teeth, throwing the garter into the crowd of single men, throwing bouquets at crowd of single woman. Yuck.
I love my lawn but grass that has to be maintained is kinda dumb.
I'm slowly swapping my grass for a mix of clover, creeping thyme and mint..... Bout NEVER needs cut, smells AWESOME when you do and bunnies and stuff like it!!! And it still looks good
Valentine’s Day. It puts pressure on relationships, especially if they’re new. It’s also terribly unromantic to be dining out with crowded restaurants while being up charged to do so.
In Finland, February 14th is also Friendship Day, where people send cards and flowers to their friends, or get together for a special celebration. I like the inclusivity of this tradition! 💐
We have an Easter tradition in Hungary and Transylvania where girls that day simbolise flowers and guys have to water the flowers. It used to be with actual buckets of water and guys just went around to all the girls' houses they knew and they said a poem and threw the water at the girls. Now they do the same but they buy perfume instead of water and grandpas usually perfume the girls' head instead of their clothes. It's an annoying tradition, I thought I didn't have to face it this year but I did. It always happens after you wash your hair. Who thinks girls like to think of themselves as flowers and like to be "watered"?
Greeting each other by kissing both cheeks and even people you barely know. For me as an introvert, this was a Nightmare each time.
Start swinging! As a Southern woman, anybody comes trying to KISS me without my consent WILL be punched!!!
Wedding showers for people who have been cohabitating. You've set up your household, why are you asking others to upgrade your household stuff at a shower AND at the wedding? Wedding registries with over-the-top gimme sh!t. Showers used to be to help set the young couple up for living together. Baby showers for second child.
Showers in general, ones that do not include an actual shower and water, are wtf to me... Like, let's have a party where you'll give me presents, additionally to my wedding where you'll buy me another present?
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In the Netherlands: Kids doing their communion eventhough religion is otherwise not present in their lives, but the parents do it because they did it and it's tradition and there will be a big party. Kids like it because they get gifts. Do it because you practice the religion or think of God regularly etc, do it because you have faith, but when you're praticatlly an atheist or non praticing believer, why do this?
I'd say the one cookie thing! I love more cake and cookies!
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Anyone that wears an "It's a *blank* Thing" t-shirt. That's great, you're from New York. Your stupid shirt still doesn't explain what a New York thing is.
I would assume the stereotype of being outspoken and in a hurry.
Load More Replies... Men being the “primary bread winners” or women doing the vast majority of the household tasks despite hours worked outside the home and still being the “default parent”.
tradition = mostly bad. Society changes and moves on. If you are hanging on to some weird behaviour because it's "tradition" you are holding society back. Fortunaetly in my family we only do ONE traditional thing and that is gifts at xmas. No church stuff, no prayers, no santa, nothing. Just the gifts.
I am neurodivergent and totally burnt out about 300 days per year. Meaning I do not have a job and I struggle really hard with keeping the house. I try really hard to explain this to family and I talk about it with my bf a lot. I do this because I HATE that somehow it is 100% my responsibility (at least for our parents) that our house is not super clean and tidy all the time. And since I stay home a lot... why can't I also not just keep the garden tidy as well? It bothers me a lot because I am struggling on a daily basis and I have a bf and 3 kids who also aren't too interested in tidying and cleaning. I hate that it's my "job" to do all those things and I hate all the "when my kids were little and I had a job and my husband was having all these messy hobbies I still kept the house clean and tidy"-speeches. I already feel like a failure... please don't make it worse. 😕
sounds like depression more than ASD. speaking as an ASD person. Suggest you go for agoraphobia counselling. Agoraphobia caused by ASD will lead to depression.
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common practice in a cultural setting precisely is the definition of tradition.
Load More Replies... Wedding showers for people who have been cohabitating. You've set up your household, why are you asking others to upgrade your household stuff at a shower AND at the wedding? Wedding registries with over-the-top gimme sh!t. Showers used to be to help set the young couple up for living together. Baby showers for second child.
Showers in general, ones that do not include an actual shower and water, are wtf to me... Like, let's have a party where you'll give me presents, additionally to my wedding where you'll buy me another present?
Load More Replies... In the Netherlands: Kids doing their communion eventhough religion is otherwise not present in their lives, but the parents do it because they did it and it's tradition and there will be a big party. Kids like it because they get gifts. Do it because you practice the religion or think of God regularly etc, do it because you have faith, but when you're praticatlly an atheist or non praticing believer, why do this?
I'd say the one cookie thing! I love more cake and cookies!
Load More Replies... Anyone that wears an "It's a *blank* Thing" t-shirt. That's great, you're from New York. Your stupid shirt still doesn't explain what a New York thing is.
I would assume the stereotype of being outspoken and in a hurry.
Load More Replies... Men being the “primary bread winners” or women doing the vast majority of the household tasks despite hours worked outside the home and still being the “default parent”.
tradition = mostly bad. Society changes and moves on. If you are hanging on to some weird behaviour because it's "tradition" you are holding society back. Fortunaetly in my family we only do ONE traditional thing and that is gifts at xmas. No church stuff, no prayers, no santa, nothing. Just the gifts.
I am neurodivergent and totally burnt out about 300 days per year. Meaning I do not have a job and I struggle really hard with keeping the house. I try really hard to explain this to family and I talk about it with my bf a lot. I do this because I HATE that somehow it is 100% my responsibility (at least for our parents) that our house is not super clean and tidy all the time. And since I stay home a lot... why can't I also not just keep the garden tidy as well? It bothers me a lot because I am struggling on a daily basis and I have a bf and 3 kids who also aren't too interested in tidying and cleaning. I hate that it's my "job" to do all those things and I hate all the "when my kids were little and I had a job and my husband was having all these messy hobbies I still kept the house clean and tidy"-speeches. I already feel like a failure... please don't make it worse. 😕
sounds like depression more than ASD. speaking as an ASD person. Suggest you go for agoraphobia counselling. Agoraphobia caused by ASD will lead to depression.
Load More Replies... common practice in a cultural setting precisely is the definition of tradition.
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