Woman Is Worried Her Drink Might Get Spiked On The First Date, Guy Surprises Her With A Thoughtful Gesture To Make Her Feel Safe With Him
A recent YouGov study showed that a whopping one in nine women (11%) say they have been a victim of drink spiking. Another 8% say a family member has been spiked, while a further 12% have friends who have had drinks spiked in the past. In total, a third of women have either been spiked themselves or know someone who has. However, researchers agree that there’s still not enough data on the subject.
The tragic stories about women becoming unsuspecting victims of drink spiking horrify the press time and again. No wonder so many women don’t feel safe when out and about with strangers. And first dates are no exception.
“So I’ve (21F) been getting back into dating lately. I met this one guy (27M) off Bumble and we hit it off. We went on our first date on Thursday,” the Redditor u/GamerGurl3980 wrote in a post on r/TwoXChromosomes. She said they spent an awesome 4-5 hours together, but when it was time for her to use the bathroom, the Redditor felt reluctant to leave her drink unattended. But then, the date took a pleasantly surprising turn.
A woman shared how this man pleasantly surprised her with a thoughtful gesture that helped her to feel safe during their first date
Image credits: Jack Finnigan (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda reached out to the author of this story who said that drink spiking during dates is a huge problem. The woman said that there were hundreds of comments from women mentioning their stories of being drugged on first dates, at the club, or just with people they know.
“It happens all around the world. There are literally inventions meant to protect your cup like the ‘Cup Condom’ on Amazon. We shouldn’t have to go to these lengths to protect ourselves. It is way more common then men think,” she explained.
When asked what was her reaction to her date telling the bartender to hold their drinks while she went to the bathroom, the woman said she was shocked. “Like freaking out in my mind like ‘no way this guy went to these lengths to make me feel safe?!’”
She recounted: “I went to the bathroom afterwards and was literally freaking out in the stall lmao. I loved it. It made me feel safer. Although, I still was cautious because some men try to give women a false sense of security. So it wasn’t like I was head over heels for him, but I was thoroughly impressed!”
Image credits: Maks Styazhkin (not the actual photo)
However, the author said that the other day, the two parted ways due to incompatibility. “I want kids in the future. He said he doesn’t. I tried being honest with him saying that I was concerned that things would end between us (which I didn’t want to happen, I wanted to continue getting to know him since things were going great) because of him not wanting kids,” the woman said.
“He reacted disrespectfully and was very rude. I confronted him telling him that he can’t speak to me that way and it was like he was offended? He was very adamant about ending things afterwards and unmatched me on Bumble,” she recounted.
Later, the author clarified a few details of her story
According to the author of this post, the guy ended up being a jerk. “Unfortunately. Now, my lesson I would share is, for one, let someone prove to you over time with their actions that they genuinely are good people. Don’t fall for first impressions.”
“Secondly, age does not mean maturity or wisdom. This man was 6 years older than me. A lot of the comments in my post were about the concern for the age gap because he would be ‘wiser’ than me. When in the end, things ended due to his immaturity,” the woman concluded.
Many people praised the guy for the thoughtful gesture
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Oh no, 6 years age difference? However will y'all cope ... Seriously, as long as everyone involved are legal and consenting people need to mind their own business.
For real. My parents are 12 years apart. My so and I are 7 years apart.
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The age difference is nothing. I'm eight years older than my wife of thirty years and it has never been a problem. Probably because most blokes are children all our lives!
My husband is seven years older than I am, and we're at 27 years and counting. What issues we've had were not related to our ages. Of course, we were 24 and 31 when we met, got married the following year.
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Age gap? Lol. Not sure why anyone was concerned, to me that gap was barely a gap. 😂😂 I guess I was more scandalous than I thought in my dating years. Super great gesture on his part. Kinda out of line move on whomever thought it was their job to decide what is age appropriate.
The Debbie Downer in the middle of the comments, talking about the server and how he was just giving her a false sense of security must be a LOT of fun at parties.
It's something we have to think about all the time.
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Hey guys! I'm the redditor from this article! Thank you all for the well wishes and the reassurance of the age gap! Unfortunately, as it says in the article - the man and I have parted ways due to incompatibility. He showed his true colors a few days ago and turned out to be very immature. I'm glad he showed his true colors now opposed to like months down the line. Btw, the writer for this article was amazing! Very sweet! I love it! Keep up the good work!
Incompatibility happens. That’s what dating is about. Not for you, but perhaps a perfect fit for someone else. That does not take away from his gesture to ease your mind on a first date. Good luck to you.
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Is a 6 year age gap really considered that big? My BF is 9 years older than me and I never felt like there was much of a difference between us because of that.
I would still stay alerted. Abusers tend to be very skilld in pretending to be good people.
Age gap smage gap comments aside (10 years between me and my wife) this is a really nice example of something we're missing in modern society, simple good manners and gentlemanly behaviour to ensure someone doesn't feel unsafe / super-creeped-out on a first date. And it goes both ways, how many times have you been on a first date with someone of the opposite sex and they've done very little to make you feel comfortable and at ease (personally, too many damned times!)
My boyfriend is 16 years my senior... 6 years, in your 20s, is not even a gap, in my opinion.
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It's absolutely horrifying that people have to leave with fears like this. Perfectly understandable considering the creeps out there. But sad that's our reality.
It is sad it has to be a concern. I was drugged in a bar once, not by a date. Thankfully, I immediately went to the ladies room when I started feeling “not right”. The ladies in the restroom immediately found my friends to get me home, and went to management. They made an announcement at the bar regarding the incident, and two other young woman had to be given safe transport home.
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I spent 13 years dating someone with a 23-year age gap. I've got cheese in my fridge older than your age gap.
Drinking whiskey right now that's older than that age gap, indeed :D
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it is sad that this is something that someone feels they needs to do because of other scum bags has made women scared that something will happen
The good... Actively demonstrating a sincere belief in consent, and/or getting out of situations that could potentially lead to "taking advantage" of someone is a LOT of brownie points. The bad... F society for making this a thing. The ugly ... I don't care if they meet through a dating app or you grew up together in church... Don't assume your drink is safe. The people you know can be just as big as asked as the people you don't
Most women that are assaulted, are assaulted by someone they know.
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my husband and I have a six year age different just because she is young doesn't make her stupid.
Hey guys! I'm the Redditor from this article! Thanks for all the nice comments! Unfortunately, as it says in the article - me and the guy parted ways a few days ago. He turned out to be very immature despite him being 6 years older than me. :/ I'm glad I saw the red flags now opposed to like months later down the line.
People are so hung up on any age differences. Great story, but people need to mind their own s**t more. 6 years jesus both people are adults.
Label me even more paranoid, but if the man picks the location, you don’t know if he’s friends with the waiter and has the waiter roofie your drink. It’s a scarier world then ever out there for us, ladies, so be hyper alert. If the man doesn’t get it, he’s not the right one,
Six years oh no. . .not. I'm 45 and my SO is 40. It's not a thing. The later disrespect is.
This would never occur to me to do for two reasons: I've never thought of spiking a drink; and I'd never leave a drink unattended, is just finish it first. I wouldn't be offended if my date asked to have the drinks removed, but it would never occur to me to do it myself.
As for the age gap, xkcd had a really good algorithm to check an age gap. The older person shouldn't date anyone that is their age/2+7. Anyone younger than that is creepy. So did this one pass that test? You tell me.
My question would be how did the date know she was worried about getting drugged by him? Did she tell him? Or did he think of it himself? If that was the case, the very idea that a guy thinks about drugging drinks and how women can prevent it is a bit scary.
As it says in the article, I covered my drink with a napkin. He realized what I was trying to do at that point.
Load More Replies... Imagine men actually being aware of how threatening they can appear even without actively doing anything 'wrong'. We shouldn't be too arrogant to admit that men, as a whole, ruined the trust women have in us. I was walking with a friend today. There was a fork in the road and the prettiest path was left, but a young girl was sitting there reading a book, carefully looking at us. We realized it'd make her uncomfortable to walk close past her, so we went right. Turns out it was a dead end and we ended up walking past her anyway (and actually chatting with her for half a minute) but I was happy to see that both my and my (male) friend were like 'let's not make her uncomfortable', even though we obviously were not of ill will. It shouldn't be necessary, but it is.
A fork got you to a dead end? By walking down the road? And takling the long way round resulted in you ending up in a dead end? Please explain (English is not my first language) what massive fork this was - please! I was simply aware of forks which you use to ear a meal and a manue-fork... but even the latter is not big enough to explain the situation you got caught in.
Load More Replies... Honestly, depending on the place... I also wouldn't trust the waiter. sometimes it's not wrong to rake your drink with you... and being in a club and standing in the girl's line for the loo you, well, have something to drink. I also asked guys to take a sip first from my drink (when they brought it and I couldn't see)... most of them were kind of confused but complied without hesitation. Except that one guy, who completely refused and tried to gaslight me of being paranoid, following by chiding me how I have no respect for people trating me for a drink, following by insulting me how I have wasted his money... Maybe I did, but clearly not on the beer he insisted to trating me too - that would have been a simple solution: take a heartly glue by yourself and I click my glass (bottle) with you.
Oh, also rearranged shot glasses (same kind of liqour) when being brought by a male to the table... Endure the look, shrug your shoulders and say cheers 😉
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Isn't what the guy did considered sexist? This strong woman shouldn't need a man to protect her, right? This is what extreme feminists have been screeching for years, anyway.
Oh no, 6 years age difference? However will y'all cope ... Seriously, as long as everyone involved are legal and consenting people need to mind their own business.
For real. My parents are 12 years apart. My so and I are 7 years apart.
Load More Replies... The age difference is nothing. I'm eight years older than my wife of thirty years and it has never been a problem. Probably because most blokes are children all our lives!
My husband is seven years older than I am, and we're at 27 years and counting. What issues we've had were not related to our ages. Of course, we were 24 and 31 when we met, got married the following year.
Load More Replies... Age gap? Lol. Not sure why anyone was concerned, to me that gap was barely a gap. 😂😂 I guess I was more scandalous than I thought in my dating years. Super great gesture on his part. Kinda out of line move on whomever thought it was their job to decide what is age appropriate.
The Debbie Downer in the middle of the comments, talking about the server and how he was just giving her a false sense of security must be a LOT of fun at parties.
It's something we have to think about all the time.
Load More Replies... Hey guys! I'm the redditor from this article! Thank you all for the well wishes and the reassurance of the age gap! Unfortunately, as it says in the article - the man and I have parted ways due to incompatibility. He showed his true colors a few days ago and turned out to be very immature. I'm glad he showed his true colors now opposed to like months down the line. Btw, the writer for this article was amazing! Very sweet! I love it! Keep up the good work!
Incompatibility happens. That’s what dating is about. Not for you, but perhaps a perfect fit for someone else. That does not take away from his gesture to ease your mind on a first date. Good luck to you.
Load More Replies... Is a 6 year age gap really considered that big? My BF is 9 years older than me and I never felt like there was much of a difference between us because of that.
I would still stay alerted. Abusers tend to be very skilld in pretending to be good people.
Age gap smage gap comments aside (10 years between me and my wife) this is a really nice example of something we're missing in modern society, simple good manners and gentlemanly behaviour to ensure someone doesn't feel unsafe / super-creeped-out on a first date. And it goes both ways, how many times have you been on a first date with someone of the opposite sex and they've done very little to make you feel comfortable and at ease (personally, too many damned times!)
My boyfriend is 16 years my senior... 6 years, in your 20s, is not even a gap, in my opinion.
Load More Replies... It's absolutely horrifying that people have to leave with fears like this. Perfectly understandable considering the creeps out there. But sad that's our reality.
It is sad it has to be a concern. I was drugged in a bar once, not by a date. Thankfully, I immediately went to the ladies room when I started feeling “not right”. The ladies in the restroom immediately found my friends to get me home, and went to management. They made an announcement at the bar regarding the incident, and two other young woman had to be given safe transport home.
Load More Replies... I spent 13 years dating someone with a 23-year age gap. I've got cheese in my fridge older than your age gap.
Drinking whiskey right now that's older than that age gap, indeed :D
Load More Replies... it is sad that this is something that someone feels they needs to do because of other scum bags has made women scared that something will happen
The good... Actively demonstrating a sincere belief in consent, and/or getting out of situations that could potentially lead to "taking advantage" of someone is a LOT of brownie points. The bad... F society for making this a thing. The ugly ... I don't care if they meet through a dating app or you grew up together in church... Don't assume your drink is safe. The people you know can be just as big as asked as the people you don't
Most women that are assaulted, are assaulted by someone they know.
Load More Replies... my husband and I have a six year age different just because she is young doesn't make her stupid.
Hey guys! I'm the Redditor from this article! Thanks for all the nice comments! Unfortunately, as it says in the article - me and the guy parted ways a few days ago. He turned out to be very immature despite him being 6 years older than me. :/ I'm glad I saw the red flags now opposed to like months later down the line.
People are so hung up on any age differences. Great story, but people need to mind their own s**t more. 6 years jesus both people are adults.
Label me even more paranoid, but if the man picks the location, you don’t know if he’s friends with the waiter and has the waiter roofie your drink. It’s a scarier world then ever out there for us, ladies, so be hyper alert. If the man doesn’t get it, he’s not the right one,
Six years oh no. . .not. I'm 45 and my SO is 40. It's not a thing. The later disrespect is.
This would never occur to me to do for two reasons: I've never thought of spiking a drink; and I'd never leave a drink unattended, is just finish it first. I wouldn't be offended if my date asked to have the drinks removed, but it would never occur to me to do it myself.
As for the age gap, xkcd had a really good algorithm to check an age gap. The older person shouldn't date anyone that is their age/2+7. Anyone younger than that is creepy. So did this one pass that test? You tell me.
My question would be how did the date know she was worried about getting drugged by him? Did she tell him? Or did he think of it himself? If that was the case, the very idea that a guy thinks about drugging drinks and how women can prevent it is a bit scary.
As it says in the article, I covered my drink with a napkin. He realized what I was trying to do at that point.
Load More Replies... Imagine men actually being aware of how threatening they can appear even without actively doing anything 'wrong'. We shouldn't be too arrogant to admit that men, as a whole, ruined the trust women have in us. I was walking with a friend today. There was a fork in the road and the prettiest path was left, but a young girl was sitting there reading a book, carefully looking at us. We realized it'd make her uncomfortable to walk close past her, so we went right. Turns out it was a dead end and we ended up walking past her anyway (and actually chatting with her for half a minute) but I was happy to see that both my and my (male) friend were like 'let's not make her uncomfortable', even though we obviously were not of ill will. It shouldn't be necessary, but it is.
A fork got you to a dead end? By walking down the road? And takling the long way round resulted in you ending up in a dead end? Please explain (English is not my first language) what massive fork this was - please! I was simply aware of forks which you use to ear a meal and a manue-fork... but even the latter is not big enough to explain the situation you got caught in.
Load More Replies... Honestly, depending on the place... I also wouldn't trust the waiter. sometimes it's not wrong to rake your drink with you... and being in a club and standing in the girl's line for the loo you, well, have something to drink. I also asked guys to take a sip first from my drink (when they brought it and I couldn't see)... most of them were kind of confused but complied without hesitation. Except that one guy, who completely refused and tried to gaslight me of being paranoid, following by chiding me how I have no respect for people trating me for a drink, following by insulting me how I have wasted his money... Maybe I did, but clearly not on the beer he insisted to trating me too - that would have been a simple solution: take a heartly glue by yourself and I click my glass (bottle) with you.
Oh, also rearranged shot glasses (same kind of liqour) when being brought by a male to the table... Endure the look, shrug your shoulders and say cheers 😉
Load More Replies... Isn't what the guy did considered sexist? This strong woman shouldn't need a man to protect her, right? This is what extreme feminists have been screeching for years, anyway.
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