Someone Asked, ‘What’s One Thing Your Partner Doesn’t Know?’, 40 People Delivered
Interview With Author
Everyone keeps secrets. Big or small, innocent or dark, secrets are a part of who we are as human beings. And even though we might strive to be as transparent as we can, there will always be something that’s left unvoiced and unshared. Even with the people closest to us, our romantic partners. And privacy can, suddenly, morph into secrecy.
The people of Reddit, protected by the anonymity their usernames give them, opened up about the things their partners don’t know. From things that are surprisingly wholesome to secrets that are best left in the dark so they don’t ruin someone’s day. Scroll down and check out these redditors’ honest answers.
Remember to upvote the posts that you enjoyed reading the most, dear Pandas. And if you have any lighthearted secrets that your partner doesn’t know about, you can spill them in the comment section.
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral r/AskReddit thread, u/alvl70charizard, to get their perspective on secrets in relationships. They were kind enough to answer our questions. Scroll down for our interview with them.
This post may include affiliate links.
I try to give her the “better half of life”.
If there are two pieces of pizza left and one piece is burnt, I’ll take the burnt one. She gets the good piece.
If I’m going to shower and there’s one normal towel left, I will use a hand rag or something to dry off — she gets the towel.
If there’s that unwanted end of the bread loaf, I’ll make myself a sandwich using that sad end piece . I’ll then make her sandwich with the good pieces .
I do this all the time for the smallest things. She never knows.
I try to make her life better in those small ways
Redditor u/alvl70charizard told Bored Panda that they're "a huge fan" of the r/AskReddit subreddit. "I find myself often scrolling endlessly reading some of the most passionate people give their opinions and life experiences. The night before posting, I had a conversation with my friends and my partner about the 'little things' in a relationship. Things like fears, interests, and future goals," they opened up about the inspiration behind the question they asked.
"The conversation was fun and eventful with everyone giving their two cents, but the group quickly moved on to another topic. But like many others, I tend to overanalyze, and found myself asking, 'What’s one thing my partner doesn’t know?' Or, 'What’s one thing I don’t know about my partner?'" the redditor shared how they started thinking more and more about relationships and honesty.
"Now I like to think that my wife and I are super open about our relationship, but surely there’s something we don’t know right? So, I asked her and much to my surprise she said, 'Everything and anything I know you know.' I felt relieved almost instantly, but I figured someone out there needed to answer the question for their own well-being. So, I created the question in the thread!"
That I don't need to read aloud. My girlfriend struggles with insomnia but for some reason when I talk to her late at night she passes out almost immediately. So whenever I read a book I read out loud softly under the guise that it helps me focus. It works every time :)
My wife is prone to nightmares and often whimpers or screams in her sleep when she has one. I can reassure her without waking her and get her to feel safe enough that she makes happy little cooing noises while she’s still sound asleep. I’ve been doing this for her for over thirty years.
Redditor u/alvl70charizard revealed to Bored Panda that, in their opinion, they definitely think that honesty is always the best policy in any romantic relationship. They also practice what they preach. "I think my partner and I have created a space where that is true. If there is something going on in our lives, it’s better to be there together and tackle it head-on as a unit rather than individuals," they mused.
In their view, a partner should 'ideally' be comfortable sharing everything. "But there are situations where withholding information may be for that person’s mental and physical benefit. The question then arises, 'Is that the right thing to do?' I honestly don’t know."
That I know our daughter's reddit account, and that I check in on her regularly.
I feel deep, profound guilt about following her, because while I respect her privacy I know that she has significant physical and emotional issues. She's at college out of state, and battles with clinical depression and an unusual and incurable chronic illness, and she really, really tries not to let on to the world when she's going through a rough patch. She'll make a comment or post something that lets me know that she's feeling crushed or broken, and I'll co-incidentally reach out to her the next day and give her an opening to talk about anything that's bothering her. Most of the time it works and she'll vent for awhile and feel a little better. Some of the time we just trade pictures of cats. Either way, she knows that she's loved and that someone is thinking of her.
If I told my wife about this? She'd blow the whole thing up and like a bull in a china shop she'd make it pretty clear that she knew our daughter's account and immediately interject herself into our daughter's life so she could fix everything. I understand that, because my wife is brilliant and protective and only sees the world in black and white. But I also understand that my daughter has to fix her own life - and that she's doing it every day, but that it doesn't hurt to have someone text her out of the blue and tell her a dad joke and try and make her laugh while she's doing it.
I wrestle with the idea that I'm simultaneously a bad parent and a bad husband because of this. I've been married for almost thirty years, and this is the only thing I've ever kept from my wife. I hate it, but it's a hole I dug for myself, so I have to sit in it alone.
Boyfriend has financial struggles, not because of anything he’s ever done. His mother is mentally unwell and his father can’t work for various reasons. He’s been the sole provider for his family since he was a teen and has to balance his job on top of being the top 5% in his university cohort to maintain two scholarships.
He had to put his mom in a psychiatric hospital by himself when he was 19. He had no support from relatives except his grandma, who doesn’t have an income herself but tries her best. He currently is raising his younger brother and paying rent for the both of them. He acts strong about it but he gets “financial panics” very very often.
In comparison, my family isn’t rich but we’re definitely lucky enough to be comfortable. My parents pay my tuition, but I still work part time (teaching) because I don’t get any pocket money and I also enjoy it. I’m a very frugal person though so a lot of it just gets saved up.
So, sometimes I secretly transfer some money into his account. I pretend to “borrow” his phone and delete the SMS notification off of it. He’s never noticed. It’s not a lot of money but I like to think it helps him get a little bit of extra something.
When we watch movies together we always snack. One of our favorites to munch on during the movie are the Sour Punch Bites. She takes all the blue ones because I don't like them and they are her favorite - always says how lucky she is that worked out like that.
The blue ones are also my favorite, but she can have them.
They referred to one of the posts in their thread as an example of how difficult it is to decide on what to do in certain cases: "For example, one of the posts in the thread discussed how a user hadn’t told his wife that her mother called for her right before she passed away. She had left the room just minutes before and he never told her. Personally, I don’t know what I would have done or said in a similar situation."
Situations like that fall into a bit of a grey area and, according to the redditor, "a majority of people would agree it comes down to the person and the situation." In short, there's no easy answer about total whether or not total honesty is possible (or even recommended) in extremely delicate situations that can have a deep, lasting, negative impact on your partner.
"I would just like to add a huge thank you to everyone in the Reddit community that submitted any responses. Especially those that wrote some personal information it means a lot when a community can come together and talk about their lives like we did," the redditor praised their fellow internet users.
She suffers from depression, and when she hits a slump she feels like laying in bed and doing nothing, even though 99.9% of the time just getting out of bed and doing something, ANYTHING will make a dramatic difference in her day. So usually when she hits a slump I'll manufacture some fake emergency that only she can help me solve, like "hey babe I think one of the cats has a scratch on his face but he won't hold still for me to look." Of course, the cat is fine, but I just tricked her into getting out of bed and doing something, and that's always the hardest part.
That most of the times I ask my wife for a hug are when she's feeling down or upset, because she doesn't like to be "clingy or needy" so she internalises and goes quiet.
I tell her I need a hug because of one thing or another so I can comfort her without making her feel like she's inconveniencing me.
I really felt this. I also have trouble externalising if l'm feeling upset so this is really thoughtful
That her mom called for her the moment before she died. When her mom was dying she was in the room with her for almost 24 hours straight and left for 30 seconds and I was there and in those 30 seconds her mother died but not before calling for my wife. I don't know if it will haunt her or not, but I just don't think it's something she needs to know
Understandable, It would probably haunt her. I know I wouldn’t take that well.
Certified relationship coach Alex Scot explained to Bored Panda that there is a difference between secrecy and privacy. The former can be harmful to a relationship if left unchecked while the latter is a healthy part of living.
She told us during an earlier interview that transparency is vitally important in any relationship that you pursue, but especially in romantic ones. If you’re ever stuck wondering whether or not you should tell your partner something, the first thing you should do is put yourself in their shoes and imagine what they would want.
"If it can affect your partner or family, there absolutely should be transparency. Whenever in doubt, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself what you would like if you were in their situation," relationship coach Alex told Bored Panda.
I rub her back when she's asleep because she makes happy noises and I like to think it makes her have better dreams... I do also do this to the dog though.
Just how often I check her out. She brags to her friends that I'll check her out 10 times a day. Dearest voluptuous woman, that's how many times I make sure you catch me. I am stealing glances the entire time we share any space.
My husband's birthday is Christmas Eve. Unfortunately his birthday gets forgotten a lot. The first year we were married almost no one remembered, and although he claimed it didn't bother him, I could see that it really did. So now I send out a text first thing on the morning on Christmas Eve, and all everyone to take a moment to wish him a happy birthday, and explicitly stated that no one is to let him know that I've sent out the text. Almost 12 years in, and he hasn't found out
"If it wouldn’t impact them, then you have the option of keeping it to yourself. The difference between privacy and secrecy is that secrecy has a sense of shame, guilt, or knowing that your partner or family member wouldn’t be ok with whatever took place,” she said that we should strongly consider opening up about a secret if it has a direct effect on our loved ones.
Of course, every situation is different and in some cases, a bit of discretion might save our partners a world of hurt. However, that really depends on the secret in question. And the secret-keepers have to take into account the fact that trust is incredibly hard to rebuild after it’s been broken.
Alex said that it is “always a challenge” to rebuild that trust. The bigger the secret, the longer it will take. "For smaller offenses, it will take less time, but for larger offenses, be prepared to be overly transparent for a time and hire a therapist or coach to walk you through the process. Trust takes consistency to rebuild and consistency equals effort over time."
My husband borrows my concealer sometimes to cover up acne. Problem is, he has this beautiful olive skin and I have very fair skin…it didn’t match but he was too embarrassed to buy his own concealer so he insisted on just using whatever I was using. So I bought him his own and put it in the spot where he knows to look for mine. It took me a few tries but I eventually got the right color match
I bought the flowers his workplace sent him when his mother died. Everyone else in his family were sent flowers by their work except him and I was utterly furious. He’s a teacher and both of us have made a lot of personal sacrifices for his job but when I contacted them I was told they couldn’t send him anything because it would “set a precedent” or some bollocks. So I told them I’d pay and I bought a huge bouquet and sent it to him. It really meant a lot which makes me even sadder.
Whenever we get fast food to go, she enjoys eating the extra fries which have fallen out of their carriage and into the bag. I'm not really sure why she enjoys them so much but whenever there aren't any, I drop a few down when grabbing my fries secretly and then give her the bag. It's been 8 years haha. I always grab my fries last and she's never noticed.
One of my friends and her partner fight over the bag chips lol.
I pretend to be asleep when he wakes up because I love how sweetly he wakes me up :)
One time, when I was making his favorite dinner (baked chicken tenders) I didn't have any eggs so I dredged the chicken in mayo before breading it (he hates mayo). He said it was the best batch I've ever made and had seconds. I will take this to my grave.
I always make sure he has the best softest towel for him to dry himself after a shower.
I make sure he gets the big cup so he doesn't have to get up to refill.
I lie to him how much his medicine costs because I don't want him to stress. It takes me a month to pay it off (we buy a three month supply).
I buy the best meat and chicken so his stomach doesn't have problems and don't tell him about the price. So he just eats happily and with no stress.
I pat-pat every one of his shirts (when folding laundry) with my hand so my loving energy goes in it to protect him and for him to hopefully not have stomach ache that day.
Why does the pat-pat one hit different? Even though it involves zero sacrifce unlike the others.
I put "no salt" salt into his salt shaker he keeps on his table near his video games. He is notorious for over-salting his food and has high blood pressure. I've been doing this for almost 4 years now. He can't tell the difference.
Check with his doctor, too. It's fairly easy to get more potassium than is good for you, and I think there are medications that it interferes with.
He does not know that he was my teenage crush since I was 12 and I wrote so many beautiful poems on him. We have been married for 6 years and have a child together. I don’t know if I will ever have the courage to tell him that I have always loved him.
Eh, I fail to see why you would need courage for that! It's sweet, moving and very flattering for him. I mean, it's not like you were an adult crushing on a teen, leaving them alone and waiting for the teen to become an unsuspecting adult, so you can make your move. (That would be kinda gross, but still basically ok, I guess. Some acquaintance first met when she was 15 and he was 20. He crushed on her immediately, but kept his distance, because he didn't want to be that guy. She really liked him a lot, too, so she asked him out after turning 16, so it wouldn't be illegal for him. 8 years later, they are still a couple.)
That I have a folder of photos on my computer called “Places I have found my wife’s shoes” that is legitimately filled with thousands of pictures of my wife’s shoes that are neither in the closet or shoe rack
I started it years ago as a joke and it has gotten out of hand
Very early in the relationship after the second date his monitor broke right on Sunday. I knew he was an avid gamer.
So I quickly bought a 27" monitor on eBay and told him I had that laying around. While he was on the way to me, I power walked through half the town to get it and quickly changed clothes because it was drizzling.
He had low income and no money and I didn't want him to feel like he's in my debt. We're over two years together now.
I always give him the bigger towel, leave him the bigger slice of pizza, make sure there’s a few bites of food in the pan because he likes to sneak extra when he puts the dishes in the sink after dinner, hang the covers a little longer on his side of the bed, leave the last three cookies so he has at least two and can leave the last one for me like he likes to do. The list goes on and on, but he will never know how much joy he brings me and how he saves my life everyday. Okay, sap is over, back to regular, un-wholesome internet-ing.
That I knew he was planning to propose to me but I still acted surprised.
Married 14 years now, still haven't told him. He is so proud of the idea that he managed to surprise me.
Me too! He has a story about how my engagement ring set off the metal detector at the airport and how he had to cover it up so I wouldn't guess (we were on our way to Venice and I guessed he would propose there). Thing is I knew all along because my step mum gave the game away before we left (yeah, she was like that). To this day (married 18 years) I pretend I had no idea. He's not on BP
My wife is the biggest softie for animals, and we have birds that nest right in a column on our porch. One day a baby bird fell out and she saw. Well it ended up dying, but I buried it and told her that I saw the momma bird come down and get it. It made her day so much better that I haven't had the heart to tell her it died and probably never will.
I also distract her whenever I see roadkill coming up, or tell her it was just a plastic bag or something.
I do the same with roadkill for my partner - I'll distract him with a question or put on his favourite song or just say it was some garbage. It doesn't always work, but I know it ruins his day to see some poor animal crushed, so I try to make it better
My wife thinks I always fall asleep next to her when we cuddle at night (we go to bed at different times but I jump in for a few minutes to snuggle before she zonks out). I don’t, I just fake it. But it makes her super happy so every time, I pretend to drift off and she has to wake me and it makes her laugh every time. This has been going on for 9 years.
She’ll never know.
When we worked together, someone kept stealing food from my husband’s lunchbox. He started deliberately packing more food. He assumed the person was stealing food because they were hungry and couldn’t afford it.
I found out who did it. She hated him and was doing it to try to piss him off. I told her if she did it again I would make a big stink of it, but never told him because I didn’t want to shatter his illusion that he was doing a nice thing for someone who really needed it.
Update: I think I need to fess up tonight and let him know so many people who aren’t me think he’s a treasure. I may not fit in the house with how big his head is going to get after that though!
How highly I think of her. She is brilliant and capable but has the most insane and deeply rooted case of imposter syndrome I've ever seen.
That sounds rough. Good for you to be there for her. A supporting partner or friend makes it a lot easier to deal with mental health issues.
That I'm over 4 years sober. You think they would have noticed, but when I started going to AA at lunch at work after a hard year of trying and failing, sobriety finally stuck. I had been sober a month and she accused me of being drunk again and that I was obviously sneaking alcohol and clearly I was hungover and that I was a loser who would never get his sh*t together. I thought, "well I won't say anything and work on myself until even she will notice.' So I did, I stayed sober, I got fit, I ran a marathon, I got therapy, I got treatment for what turned out to be adult adhd that had gone undiagnosed for 51 years, I started anti-depressants and generally turned my life around.
She never noticed, and I'm regularly accused of being a lousy drunk by her. About every other week or so. I'd say it hurts, but I'm in such a better place now that I truly don't give a sh*t what a toxic person like that thinks, which makes her even more negative. I've stayed married to her for 26 years, but I don't think I'll make it much farther.
You sir are frankly married to a shithead dump the b***h and run you deserve much better. Don't be afraid you proved how strong a person you really are !
Load More Replies...
This sounds like a horrible situation to be in for you both. If you have been married for 26 years and only sober for the last 4, then honestly, she is a saint for sticking with you this far. You have done amazing to be sober for 4 years and to turn your life around and you absolutely should be proud of yourself! Throughout this process however, did it occur to you that she might have no trust left? That she has suffered the trauma, disappointment, anxiety, depression and everything that comes with loving an alcoholic? It's soul destroying - watching someone you love struggle with alcoholism and really really hard to regain faith and trust. You might be in a better place but perhaps SHE needs some support?
I love your response. Sadly the OP probably won‘t see it, as this was copied off reddit. The comments there were mostly around the lines of „she is toxic, leave her…“
Load More Replies...
You need to get help for the two of you. I am a sober alcoholic myself and i know how much it hurts to hear these things all over again. And again. And again. Especially during arguments (no matter what the original problem is and no matter how long you've been sober). To constantly be accused even if you follow the rules (and that's often hard work in itself). There's help to get though, to rebuild trust. I get that she's been hurt but if she constantly mistrust you it will never work. She needs to talk about her hurt and you need to be open about your process - preferably with professional help.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...
To be fair you weren’t being honest with what you were doing. However it looks like you now need to start again. Some advice? Don’t keep secrets like this.
Been there. Only made it 9 years. I would give up my drink (energy drinks) for lent every year. Discovered that nothing changed when I wasn't all hopped up on caffeine. I could take the abuse, making 6 figures but living paycheck to paycheck (and being accused of not making enough (our rent was $500/month)), the complete lack of respect or gratitude, or even acknowledgement. But when I discovered that she didn't want me to progress at church, that is when I decided that my love for God exceeded my love for her.
Perhaps have a talk before… you made your life turn around without making her a part of it… being a drunk affected your surroundings so much …. So talk to her if she stayed with you while you drank… and if you still want her. Otherwise then just get out.
Sounds like she could benefit from Al-Anon. Does she know that exists?🙂
Good for you!! That's an awesome accomplishment and I'm very happy for you!
Wow, please continue to stay healthy for you and get out of that toxic marriage. I'm sorry you have had to deal with that. Please continue your AA meetings.
Get OUT! You'll never win her unnecessary approval! You'll forever be "a disappointment" cuz she's a miserable, angry person. Good for you, I'm in year 13 clean.
Leave her, keep improving your life. Take it from someone who knows. I didn't... it's been 39 years and he just keeps dragging me down. I have to work twice as hard to reach (or even continue toward) my goals. 8 years ago, his health changed dramatically so if I left, I'd be abandoning a sick man, the father of my children.
You are such a strong person, please leave your toxic wife and I am sure you will be happier single!
First of all, congrats to making it through four years by taking it "one day at a time". Sorry for the cliche, but it works, it really does! Up until this point, you've been granted the serenity to accept what you could not change (then), and the wisdom to know the difference. But for the grace of God, you will find the courage to make the changes needed when the time comes. I literally received my four MONTH chip today. I can't wait to make it to four YEARS.
By staying, you allow the perpetual re-injury. You know the truth, now its time to share it with someone who wants to truly *know* you.
She's still wounded from all the hurt and disappointment she experienced through you while you were an alcoholic. It took you 22 years to get sober. Give her 22 years to get over what you put her hrough for the 22 years you were drunk. She waited for you. You wait for her. Period!
GOOD FOR YOU..I'M MARRIED TO A newly found dumrum head.binges for like a week... TRYIN to get out...GOOD FOR YOU♡♡ CONGRATS...STAY STRONG
My husband has been sober 3 years now. It's hard, really hard. It's hard to trust him when he's lied about drinking/being drunk. It's hard to forget and forgive the time an amazing officer brought his drunk ass home rather than the drunk tank. BUT over the past 3 years he's proven not only to me but to himself that he's sober and in a healthy place. I'm so sorry you're still going through this but unfortunately I think you've gotten past the part of forgiveness. I don't think she'll be able to get past the past.. good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!!
Congratulations on your sobriety! You deserve to not be taken for granted.
You're a flippin' legend for going sober! That's a hell of a thing to go through and good on you. I don't know why your wife is so bitter, but it might be the right time to move on- for both of your sakes. Stay strong- you're a winner!
My man is an alcoholic and is worse than ever because he’s switched to stuff that raises his blood sugar and has made him fat. Over the last few months he stopped drinking so much and has replaced it with food. He’s now bigger than he’s ever been since we’ve been together.
I understand where you are coming from no one should put up with abuse I know this won't be a popular opinion but try separating maybe she'll see the light. If not you have a tough decision to make.
Divorce her. You can get better, and she can be with someone "at her level".
That's horrible the way she's treated/treating you. GET RID OF HER! You don't need that toxicity in your life
...wouldn't she notice that she never sees you consume alcohol? Also, she's terrible. Why waste a quarter of a century with her?
ditch the betch and get going with you. She sucks and you got better. Much better. she's the loser now
She's thought the worst of you for years now and is so used to past behavior now she sees it where there isn't any. You have made a great accomplishment, don't stay with someone who could drive you back there because she makes you feel horrible. You deserve to be happy.
Good for you! Congratulations. Now take the final step....leave the real toxic situation! Live alone and learn to truly be you!
I get both sides. Jim sure she went through a lot. She could have just given up. But both need some help. She's got every right to be mad but he still on that pink cloud. They will have to deal with it eventually
Is it worth being miserable in a better place. I'm amazed she hasn't accused you of an affair. Running a marathon, getting in shape. Time to move on. She won't let youi stay there.
This is beautiful in a different way than the other posts here. It's ugly that she treats you so bad, but beautiful that you are seeing your true self now and giving yourself the respect you so rightly deserve. She is the next bad thing you need to quit. Get rid of anything that holds you back.
Good for you turning your life around, you have made some great choices. 26 years is a long time make sure it is what tou want. Please try counseling first.
His hits home but for a different way. I’m in that middle of trying to get sober. I went through detox and counseling, all while being fully supported by my man… I ended up slipping after some time.. he knew and i didn’t lie. Now he rally’s behind me as I’m trying to do it all over again. He has talks with me but would never say the s**t your wife does… that is pure toxic and SHE sounds insecure.
My dude. 1st congrats on sobering up getting your health in check. Now it's time to dump the rest of the garbage in your life.
I really fail to see how anyone's partner couldn't notice all that. It's pretty obvious when someone is sober after being a chronic alcoholic.
Congratulations on your four years especially in that toxic environment. Keep it up and stay positive.
I've been sober for 17 years. My first marriage didn't make it either. Unfortunately, many don't. Talk with your sponsor about what to do. Toxic people can be a serious threat to your sobriety. Don't let this lie - really! Your sobriety is worth everything, protect your serenity.
No one deserves to be so disrespected. Pack. Go. Hold your head up! You've got this!
You beautiful soul, I have almost 8 yrs but I have been single every one of those days. If your significant other doesn't appreciate the amount of work you've put into yourself then its time for a life change. They should have been in your corner this whole time. Keep your head up, don't settle or become complacent.
The fact that you were even able to stay straight with someone like that is a miracle. I hate to advise it but...get out..now.
Does everyone here realize that this OP won't be reading these responses? Good response tho
That's half the fun of BP lol it's like screaming at the TV screen. There are people that drift over here from reddit as well so you never know.
Load More Replies...
This is awful. She is clearly gaslighting you. Absolutely get yourself out of there. You deserve so much more and she deserves everything she gets. Oh and well done. I mean, really well done. In spite of everything, every reason to drink, you have stayed strong. You should be so proud of yourself. With that in mind, remember you can achieve anything you want to. Be whoever you want to be. Go out there and seize life my friend.
Every night I turn around to cuddle him and I give his shirt a big sniff because his smell makes me relax.
When we were dating she tickled my feet and I acted as if I wasn't ticklish. 13 years later she will tickle them and be amazed I am not ticklish, everytime it tickles.
I have to hide this forever.
He knows because I tell him a lot, but I don’t think he fully understands how much I love and rely on him. I don’t think he could know without being in my head, but I have pretty acute anxiety. I know enough about my anxiety to know when I’m freaking out over nothing, so I try to keep it mostly contained to my own brain and keep the external freak outs to a minimum. Just his presence keeps me grounded and calm. He is my best friend and I don’t know if I could have accomplished most of what I have without him.
Every time we go into a restaurant or place of business, I make sure to identify all the exit points in case something bad where to happen.
Also never have my back to the doors.
That when I tell her I don't want her to make cookies cause we are being healthy, that I really want her to make cookies.
He doesn't know I fix his DIY properly when he is out. He's so proud of "his"work...
My fiancé doesn't know I put a king snake in the attic last spring to take care of a rat and squirrel issue.
When I shower she thinks I make an absurdly loud noise when I'm washing my butt. Really I'm just squeezing water in my palm, but it's much funnier that she thinks it's my butt. Even done this while we were both in there to really get her going
The Botox I get between eyes because I don’t want to get that angry scowl wrinkle…he tells me I still look so young at 45. I might confess this year
This isn't so bad, once it isn't affecting your health or anything. I don't really know much about the procedure.
We're in a LDR. I happily and willing set out on journey to go see my boyfriend first. We're both not financially well-off (but that's our business). He doesn't know how much more I make than him. He doesn't know how much it cost to get my passport, the plane ticket, nor how much I spent while I was there. He doesn't know when I came back home I was in debt. It's not his problem. (It wasn't even a big deal to me because I could pay it off.) Only recently, when his sister asked me how much I paid for the flight, did I tell her, in which my boyfriend overheard.
I don't want our relationship to become about competing with money and developing resentment.
I am very independent and in the last year my boyfriend moved into my home, a home I have meticulously taken care of and upgraded by myself for the last twelve years. I do not need help with handy tasks around the house, but I will occasionally ask him to fix something and he absolutely beams when I ask. It often takes him way longer than it would me, but I don't say anything and always thank him profusely and praise his work. The look of pride and sheer joy on his face when I do that is worth all of the aggravation that I have to endure watching him take an hour to do a task that would take me 5 minutes.
Relatable! I've lived alone for the past 8 years and my bf just moved in this year. In general, I am way more handy than he is. So it does take some willpower for me to take a step back when he wants to try to tackle a new project. Luckily we work really well as a team and he's willing to take any tips or ideas if I tell him. He is so proud when he does a new project though lol I try building him up so he's confident to do more.
Load More Replies...
In my relationship I have only had two secretes from my husband. The first secrete I kept from him for about 6 years. When we first started dating, he went on this huge rant about how he would never date a virgin because they cling to the first person they sleep with and idolize that person to the point it ruins the relationship. So I did not tell him I was in fact a virgin until 6 years later when my dog died and he took me to the woods to camp out and while I cried myself to sleep I told him. He said that was cute and kissed me. Second secrete isn't really something I intentionally keep from him but he leaves his things in the strangest places and as I find them throughout the day I either make a mental note so I can tell him where it is when he is looking for it later, or I move it to a spot where he can find it. He loses everything and I have made it my job to keep tabs on all of his important things and making sure he never loses them.
My bf and I just joke about how we are each other's firsts so we don't have to acknowledge that we both have had past relationships/partners. I mean I didn't meet him till I was 38, so. . .
Load More Replies... My now ex husband surprised me for our honeymoon. Had no idea where. It was 3 weeks in Jamaica at 2 different 5 star resorts. That night at our wedding, reception one of his groomsmen told me(I hadn't asked) and spoiled the surprise to purposely be a total douche.. I didn't tell him.
He is horrible about letting me know when he's low or out of something. I try to keep tabs but I lose track sometimes. So on those certain super duper important to him items I keep them put away and when judgment day comes and he's freaking out because his deodorant is gone I swoop in and save the day with a fresh one which must have come from on high from the way he reacts. Been doing it for 17yrs won't stop until I am unable to do so and even then I'll probably arrange it thru family he is my world.
Having triplet boys and a husband that changes his outfit every time he leaves the house. That's a lot of laundry to do. He told me he can only have tide due to deathly allergies. Tide is EXPENSIVE. I ran out and did not have enough for tide. So I bought a cheaper detergent. I poured it into the tide bottle and threw the empty away in some one else's trash bin. I watched for any allergic reaction or rash. None whatsoever. So for the past 20 odd years, I buy 2 cheaper bottles, pour it into the tide bottle and life goes on.
I want love like these people have. The only problem is I'm completely chicken and haven't gotten a boyfriend yet. Every time I get a crush I don't end up telling him and then he starts dating another girl and I'm left alone. I mean, I have friends that I know I can rely on, but I just want someone that I know for a fact I can rely on with anything.
That sort of love starts with friendship, and you may receive it from friends :) deep love is not always romantic love. If he isn't crushing back on you, he is not the person you need...
Load More Replies...
I cook for her. I'm pretty competent in the kitchen (the six years in a restaurant kitchen was my favorite job ever, but I hated the zombie hours and low pay), but if I was just cooking for myself, it'd be instant ramen and boxed macaroni and cheese on a regular rotation. Since it's important to me that she have delicious and interesting meals, I do so much more. I even cook meals that I think are a waste of time, money, and otherwise good ingredients because they're childhood favorites of hers or comfort food that makes her feel at home.
It was a secret for years that I used onions. Hubby was sure he hated them in food, in general, and on principle. Eventually, he figured it out. Turns out he doesn't hate foods he thought he hated!
My husband will watch cooking shows and baking competitions with me even though I know they're not his favorites. on the other hand, I've seen Tombstone and the Rock and movies like that with him approximately 60, 000 times so it works out...
I know the scar above his lip is from a bullet. And a few other unsavory and scary moments from his life. All told to me by his ex in an attempt to create conflict, fail. His actions were a product of his childhood neighborhood. I let him grow to be the man he wanted to be. He is glorious.
More than half of these are people in abusive relationships that don't know it. Pretty sad.
Like the way old maps used to have, "Here Be Monsters" around the edges, this sort of BP post needs, "Here Be Onion Ninjas" at the top.
All of these, I experienced exactly the opposite in 1 (one) marriage
I am very independent and in the last year my boyfriend moved into my home, a home I have meticulously taken care of and upgraded by myself for the last twelve years. I do not need help with handy tasks around the house, but I will occasionally ask him to fix something and he absolutely beams when I ask. It often takes him way longer than it would me, but I don't say anything and always thank him profusely and praise his work. The look of pride and sheer joy on his face when I do that is worth all of the aggravation that I have to endure watching him take an hour to do a task that would take me 5 minutes.
Relatable! I've lived alone for the past 8 years and my bf just moved in this year. In general, I am way more handy than he is. So it does take some willpower for me to take a step back when he wants to try to tackle a new project. Luckily we work really well as a team and he's willing to take any tips or ideas if I tell him. He is so proud when he does a new project though lol I try building him up so he's confident to do more.
Load More Replies... In my relationship I have only had two secretes from my husband. The first secrete I kept from him for about 6 years. When we first started dating, he went on this huge rant about how he would never date a virgin because they cling to the first person they sleep with and idolize that person to the point it ruins the relationship. So I did not tell him I was in fact a virgin until 6 years later when my dog died and he took me to the woods to camp out and while I cried myself to sleep I told him. He said that was cute and kissed me. Second secrete isn't really something I intentionally keep from him but he leaves his things in the strangest places and as I find them throughout the day I either make a mental note so I can tell him where it is when he is looking for it later, or I move it to a spot where he can find it. He loses everything and I have made it my job to keep tabs on all of his important things and making sure he never loses them.
My bf and I just joke about how we are each other's firsts so we don't have to acknowledge that we both have had past relationships/partners. I mean I didn't meet him till I was 38, so. . .
Load More Replies... My now ex husband surprised me for our honeymoon. Had no idea where. It was 3 weeks in Jamaica at 2 different 5 star resorts. That night at our wedding, reception one of his groomsmen told me(I hadn't asked) and spoiled the surprise to purposely be a total douche.. I didn't tell him.
He is horrible about letting me know when he's low or out of something. I try to keep tabs but I lose track sometimes. So on those certain super duper important to him items I keep them put away and when judgment day comes and he's freaking out because his deodorant is gone I swoop in and save the day with a fresh one which must have come from on high from the way he reacts. Been doing it for 17yrs won't stop until I am unable to do so and even then I'll probably arrange it thru family he is my world.
Having triplet boys and a husband that changes his outfit every time he leaves the house. That's a lot of laundry to do. He told me he can only have tide due to deathly allergies. Tide is EXPENSIVE. I ran out and did not have enough for tide. So I bought a cheaper detergent. I poured it into the tide bottle and threw the empty away in some one else's trash bin. I watched for any allergic reaction or rash. None whatsoever. So for the past 20 odd years, I buy 2 cheaper bottles, pour it into the tide bottle and life goes on.
I want love like these people have. The only problem is I'm completely chicken and haven't gotten a boyfriend yet. Every time I get a crush I don't end up telling him and then he starts dating another girl and I'm left alone. I mean, I have friends that I know I can rely on, but I just want someone that I know for a fact I can rely on with anything.
That sort of love starts with friendship, and you may receive it from friends :) deep love is not always romantic love. If he isn't crushing back on you, he is not the person you need...
Load More Replies... I cook for her. I'm pretty competent in the kitchen (the six years in a restaurant kitchen was my favorite job ever, but I hated the zombie hours and low pay), but if I was just cooking for myself, it'd be instant ramen and boxed macaroni and cheese on a regular rotation. Since it's important to me that she have delicious and interesting meals, I do so much more. I even cook meals that I think are a waste of time, money, and otherwise good ingredients because they're childhood favorites of hers or comfort food that makes her feel at home.
It was a secret for years that I used onions. Hubby was sure he hated them in food, in general, and on principle. Eventually, he figured it out. Turns out he doesn't hate foods he thought he hated!
My husband will watch cooking shows and baking competitions with me even though I know they're not his favorites. on the other hand, I've seen Tombstone and the Rock and movies like that with him approximately 60, 000 times so it works out...
I know the scar above his lip is from a bullet. And a few other unsavory and scary moments from his life. All told to me by his ex in an attempt to create conflict, fail. His actions were a product of his childhood neighborhood. I let him grow to be the man he wanted to be. He is glorious.
More than half of these are people in abusive relationships that don't know it. Pretty sad.
Like the way old maps used to have, "Here Be Monsters" around the edges, this sort of BP post needs, "Here Be Onion Ninjas" at the top.
All of these, I experienced exactly the opposite in 1 (one) marriage
