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The Brits have an uncanny ability to scream out their nationality without saying a single word. Some of their quirks are so quintessential that they may as well come with their own passport.
Tea cosies, egg cups, cucumber sandwiches and the most perfect, orderly queues seem to be a staple across the pond. Where else would you find a gentleman apologizing to a chair after bumping into it? Or a lady checking the weather through the window, while drinking tea with her pinky finger sticking out? They'll say "I'm not bothered," while being extremely bothered, and "interesting" when what they're really thinking is, "utterly awful."
Someone posted, "Tell me you're British without telling me you're British" and the crowd went wild - with a poker straight face, of course. From the person who admitted to forming a "queue of one" right next to the bus stop, to another who said they travel with their teabag wallet, our posh friends are proving that you can take the Brit out of Britain, but you'll never take Britain out of the Brit. Here are some of the funniest responses...
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#1
If it’s chucking it down someone will
always say “Oh but it will be good for the garden though.”
They share the same language, have similar shops, some historical ties and have more than a few surface-level similarities. Moving from America to Britain should seem like a breeze, right? Not quite. While the United Kingdom is just “across the pond” from the United States, the two may as well be worlds apart.
Let’s start with the language. Both the Americans and the British speak English. But many words are spelt totally differently. Their accents are also nothing alike. “You can hear it when I talk… I’m an Englishman in New York,” sang Sting once.
Words aside, an American could get lost in translation in Britain, even when nothing is said...
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#2
This is my evening walk
#3
Whenever I’m in a station that has both the underground and overground, I hum the Wombles theme tune to myself
Charlie the Cat 11 hours ago (edited)
🎵Underground, overground, wombling free The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we.🎵 🎵Making good use of the things that we find, things that the everyday folks leave behind.🎵
“American culture places a high value on openness, friendliness, and verbal clarity. By contrast, British communication tends to be more reserved and indirect,” says Robert Hallums, an American living in the U.K. “It’s common to express disagreement through understatement, and politeness can mask discomfort or disagreement rather than resolve it.”
He adds that this can be a tad confusing, especially when requests are phrased as suggestions, or praise is muted. "Americans may find themselves wondering whether an invitation is genuine or whether feedback is more critical than it seems," warns the expat.
Hallums' advice: read between the lines and listen for tone and context, not just words.
#4
A perfect icebreaker at a party is commenting on how small Wagon Wheels are these days.
Ixanga Cancun 13 hours ago
Would be acceptable too to discuss wagon wheels v jammy dodgers. Less jam in the middle these days too.
#5
Nothing tests courage like trying to catch a collapsing Hobnob before it dissolves into the tea.
Then there's the issue of humor. British jokes can be easily missed if you're not from that side of the pond. Often delivered with a poker face, the fun jabs are dry and understated. Self-deprecation, sarcasm and “banter” are all par for the course, as is irony.
"We use it as liberally as prepositions in every day speech. We tease our friends. We use sarcasm as a shield and a weapon. We avoid sincerity until it’s absolutely necessary," wrote Ricky Gervais. The British comedian has previously come under fire from people who he claims just don't get his sense of humor.
Gervais says Brits will mercilessly tease people they like or dislike. And they'll make fun of themselves. "This is very important. Our brashness and swagger is laden with equal portions of self-deprecation. This is our license to hand it out."
#8
I stand right next to the bus stop, even when I’m the only person there, forming a queue of one.
#9
Saying “they won't sell many ice creams going at that speed” when they see an emergency vehicle with blue lights going.
Hallums, who has firsthand experience warns that Americans may find themselves in a room where everyone is laughing except for them, simply because the cues are unfamiliar. He suggests not taking things too personally.
"If someone makes fun of you gently, it’s likely a sign of inclusion and affection, not mockery," explains the expat. "Responding with [humor], rather than defensiveness, helps bridge the gap."
#11
Last night when I was walking the dog I saw a cat walk into the road and lie down. I said- out loud, in a public place, to an animal- "can't park there mate"
#12
See someone washing their windows and tell them "You've missed a bit"
Also to anyone washing their car "You can do mine next"
The Brits are a funny bunch. While they have no problem poking fun at anyone and everyone under the sun, they're actually very polite. And be warned: they take their queues seriously.
"Skipping the line, even by accident, is frowned upon," cautions Hallums. And as one person on this list mentioned, even if you're the only human being around, you are still expected to form a queue.
#13
The cost of freddos is scandalous
#14
I'll see your teapot and cosy and raise you a butter dish and egg cups
Roman Arendt 11 hours ago
That's specifically British? How else would you store the butter? I'd say both are pretty common around Europe.
#15
If someone smashes a glass in a pub, the only response is “weeeeyyyyy”
#16
I look at the weather through the window.
Then I check the Met Office.
Then I look at the percentage of rain forecast.
Then I rationalise it to the positive.
‘60% chance of rain, oh that means there’s 40% it won’t’
Barbecue then …
#17
i have a teabag wallet, i take it with me when traveling 😊
Ixanga Cancun 13 hours ago
I went to SE Asia last year and took PG Tips ones, just in case they only had green tea.
#18
Wandering around my garden in my dressing gown after I wake up with a mug of tea in my hand, inspecting my pot plants!!
Breadcrumb. 14 hours ago (edited)
Smoking a joint in my underwear as I water my garden in the summer. A Canadian, B.C. comparison.
#19
‘It’s like Blackpool illuminations in this house’ to my husband when he forgets to switch the lights off in the hall and landing
#20
The week before any holiday, you'll often hear me say "this time next week we'll be (add appropriate activity/place).
#22
If you put the milk in the tea first, you owe me an apology.
Rick Murray 12 hours ago
Depends how you make the tea. If it's a bag in a mug, putting milk in first is a cardinal sin (the milk stops the water being hot enough for a good steep). If it's tea from a teapot, there is more flexibility there.
#23
I answer the door to people who are promoting or selling something because I feel rude if I didn't 🤣
#24
Whenever I see a responding police car with its blues and twos going, I can't stop myself saying "Ayup, someone's late for their lunch."
Ixanga Cancun 13 hours ago
If it's in the afternoon and an ambulance, they're just trying to get back in time for their tea.
#25
I hold the door open for people then when they say nothing...I say out loud, doing this for my own good then am I.
Ixanga Cancun 13 hours ago
You don't really, you mutter it under your breath just loud enough for them to hear.
#26
Morning cuppa without thinking about it then unintentionally having more tea later cause I can 😂
Rick Murray 12 hours ago
I'm on my second morning cuppa and only just starting to feel like a viable human.
#27
Jesus Christ, Fenton!!
#28
I am outraged if anyone pushes in front of me when I am at the bar or in a shop. I have categorised my biscuits into everyday, fancy and treat. There are rules about which sauces go with different meals and I have eye rolled so hard I pulled a muscle.
Tobias Reaper 11 hours ago
pushing in a queue thats a capital crime its a good way to get lynched
#29
“You started it!”
“No I didn’t! You invaded Poland!”
🥴😬
#32
Taking some teabags in a suitcase with me, try to remember to carry a umbrella in my bag unless complete sun is forecast & if abroad and I wear shorts - the white legs give it away 🤣
#33
“You can't tell me what to do, you ain't my mother!"
#35
That's what I need a tea cosy! My washing machine is in my kitchen
Serena Myers 13 hours ago
Ours too. There's no room for it anywhere else, and that is where the plumbing for it was installed when the house was built 50 or so years ago.
#36
I eat my crumpets with bovril 💪
#37
I preferred the chocolate Angel Delight
#39
Knowing upper deck of a double decker bus is not dangerous 😂😂
#40
I have a kettle in the kitchen, and I've seen 4 seasons in 1 day today
#41
I have a spare kettle, in case of power cuts, that goes on the gas hob. Powercuts are miserable but without tea it’s a crisis
#42
I own a full tea set and a teacosy - and I don't even drink tea.
#43
As a Brit living in the Pacific Northwest US - my cupboard has at a minimum marmite, Branston, a couple of cans of Heinz and some mango chutney. I still call Gyro (US) a kebab and thirty years hear still have to mentally translate “chips” doesn’t mean I need to reach for vinegar (malt vinegar they call it here). Same I look at zucchini and think courgette, and egg plant and think aubergine.
Ixanga Cancun 13 hours ago
I bet you still make chip butties too. That's ketchup and chips and thick white bread slices. The Perishers did it best.
#44
Whilst I am now also an Aussie citizen I would be easily recognised by the number of times I apologise 😂😂
#45
God save our noble king god save our gracious king god save the king
*fanfare*
SEND HIM VICTORIOUS HAPPY AND GLORIOUS
#46
I eat my tea at 6pm underneath the big light!
Barbara Wilcock 13 hours ago
Tea is around 5/6 pm. Pot of tea,small sandwiches, scones, jam and cream
#48
I asked for a tea cosy for my birthday 😂🙈
#49
I call a bread roll a barmcake
Ixanga Cancun 13 hours ago
If you live in Manchester you might. Most of England calls it just a roll.
#50
“Very exotic”
Brits when chefs use any kind of seasoning
#52
Stew and dumplings or steak and kidney pudding
StrangeOne 12 hours ago
I thought it was kidney beans and steak. Not the kidney organ. I mean... people eat liver...
#53
Oi mush who’s coat is this hat jacket hanging up there on floor, will it be there now in a minute like
#54
Drinka Pinta Milka Day!
And
That’s nearly an armful. I’m not going around with an empty arm
#55
My mum MAKES tea cozy’s
#56
Christmas puddings are always made on the weekend after Granny's birthday.
I am now the Granny in question
YakFactory 14 hours ago
Depends when Granny's birthday is, how long they'll have to mature before Christmas.
#57
I got into an argument with a colleague over whether dinner was lunch, tea was super and what the actual chuff counted a supper
#60
I made a full Sunday roast at 3am once 🤷🏼♀️
Is that British enough?
What do you think ?
David Paterson 8 hours ago
That's quite a good list. Even as an Aussie with British ancestry, most of these don't apply to me.
David Paterson 8 hours ago
That's quite a good list. Even as an Aussie with British ancestry, most of these don't apply to me.
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