The Forgotten.

With the rise in awareness for violence and sexual abuse towards women and children, I want to talk about male victims. Male victims are often forgotten or rarely talked about in campaigns against violence and sexual abuse and this is the reason why I do not support white ribbon day. There are a huge lack of services to cater for these men including shelters, support from society and police, and other specialised support services and charities. There are numerous women’s and childrens shelters across the world and only a handful of male shelters. Here I am going to talk about the forgotten victims and hopefully encourage them them to speak up, seek help and that they are worthy to be heard.

Suffering in silence

Whilst many women do suffer in silence it is still less taboo than men talking about being a victim. It is much harder to get the proper statistics on male victims because it isn’t often talked about. Mental health and suicide rates are an epidemic and even more so for males and it makes me wonder how many of those men were/are victims of abuse but feel they can’t speak up and suffered in silence. (I know the same can be said for many women as well but this post is not about them).

You are worthy

1 in 16 (0.5million) men are victims of physical and/or sexual violence by a cohabiting partner since age 15. 1 in 20 (428,000) men have been sexually assaulted and/or threatened since age 15. In 2015-2016, 560 men were hospitalised after being assaulted by a spouse or partner. 1 in 6 men have experienced emotional abuse from a current or previous partner. (Australian statistics from Australian institute of health and welfare)

You are not alone

Men aren’t just victims of spousal violence and sexual assault, they are at higher risk of being assaulted by strangers in public and have higher rates of homicide. Between 2012-2014 64% of murder victims were male, 83% of victims killed by an acquaintance were male and 92% of people killed by a stranger were male. (Australian statistics found on Crime statistics Australia)

You deserve happiness

In 2014-2015, 2 men on average were hospitalised every day after being assaulted by their partner. From 2012-2014 approximately 1 man a month were killed from assault by a current or previous partner. In 2016 police recorded on average 11 sexual assaults a day where the victim was male. Nearly 820,000 people witnessed violence towards their father by their mother before the age of 15. (Australian statistics from Australian institute of health and welfare).

Open up, find support and talk

Men are at higher risk of depression and suicide. On average 1 in 8 men will experience depression and 1 in 5 men will experience anxiety at some stage in their lives. Men make up on average 6 out of 8 suicides a day. The number of men who die by suicide every year is almost double the Australian road toll. Suicide is one of the leading cause of death in Australia for men aged 15-44. Sadly 72% of men don’t seek help for mental health issues. (Australian statistics found on beyomd blue and numerous mental health organisations).

Self medicating is not the answer

In a bid to cope with their emotions, research shows men are most likely to turn to alcohol, drugs and gambling, often leading to family breakdowns. Mental health is also the leading cause of homelessness in men. Research also shows that the more men who speak up about their emotions and mental health in front of others, entices other men suffering to speak up about their own struggles. As Jack Heath from SANE Australia said “There’s a notion around men almost needing to have permission to seek help, or needing to see other men seeking help before they will.”

You are brave for seeking help and speaking up.

1 in 9 men (11% or 992,000) men reported to have been victims of physical and/or sexual abuse before the age of 15. In 2016-2017, over 9000 men seeked homelessness services that were related to family and domestic violence. (Australian institute of health and welfare).

Project Unbreakable

Unbreakable was a photography project done by Grace Brown back in 2011. Her intention was to give voices to those who have suffered and survived sexual assault, child abuse and domestic violence. These images are of male victims that were part of the project and shows just how manipulative predators are and how much they feed off ones fear and use it against them. It also shows the ignorance and tactlessness of some of the people they tried to tell. These men are so brave and strong for telling their stories.

It’s time to break the stigma

We need to let male victims know they are supported

Everyone needs to make a stand for better services for male victims

Encourage yourself, believe in yourself and love yourself.

From every wound is a scar, and every scar tells a story. Some scars can’t be seen but they can be felt by telling your story. A story that says “I have survived”.

Don’t be ashamed of your story, It will inspire others. It is nothing to be shameful of.

Support services contact information for victims.

Here are some contact details for support services in Australia.

GENERAL HELP
The Police – 000
Lifeline – 131 114
Victims access line – 1800 633 063

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Mensline Australia – 1300 789 978
Dads in distress – 1300 853 437
Men’s rights agency – (07) 3200 8769
Hunter Domestic Violence Support & Advisory Services Inc – (02) 4990 9609 or 0488 246 693

SEXUAL ASSAULT AND ABUSE
Living well – (07) 3435 4358 or
1300 114 397

MENTAL HEALTH
Beyond Blue – 1300 224 636
Mindspot clinic – 1800 614 434
Qlife – 1800 184 527
SANE Australia – 1800 187 263

You can also present yourself to the local hospital for a mental health assessment or speak to your GP.

For more services please look at this site for more information including some contact numbers for services in the UK and USA. For other countries, please speak to a health professional or search online for the appropriate services for you. http://www.oneinthree.com.au/servicesandresources/

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