“Even The 16-Year-Old Has A 9 PM Bedtime”: Woman Keeps Criticizing Brother’s Parenting Style While Living In His House, Almost Gets Kicked Out
It’s said that family is there to support, love, and help us when times are tough. But we also know that this is not always the case or that it all seems to be much more complicated in real life. A lot of things change when people grow up and start their own family. What is interesting to notice is that while some unintentionally bring the same patterns and understandings taken from the family they grew up in, others, who usually were not a fan of how things were handled in their household, maintain the opposite approach and create new rules instead of taking an example from their parents. Reddit user @u/rrraannnddooomm decided to ask others online if he was wrong for threatening to kick his sister out of his house after she questioned his parenting methods and wanted him to change them because her kids had started to rebel against her rules after seeing how “lax” his parenting is. The story that received almost 11k upvotes soon became an invitation to other users for them to share their insights on the situation.
More Info: Reddit
Having a solid and healthy relationship with your family might be harder than it seems
Image credits: denisbin (not the actual image)
The 44-year-old author of the post started his story by sharing that he lives with his 14-year-old daughter and raises her as a single dad since her mom died 10 years ago. The Original Poster (OP) also shared that he has a sister who recently moved into his house with her family because their house got flooded. Understanding the gravity of the situation, the man suggested that she, her husband and their three kids could live in his well-made basement with a separate entrance. Despite the premises where the dad and his daughter lived being separate from where the man’s sister lived, the families would still meet and hang out for some time. This is when the main problem started arising.
Reddit user decided to share how he had to threaten to kick his sister out of the house after she criticized his parenting methods
Image credits: u/rrraannnddooomm
OP shared that coming from a strict upbringing, he didn’t want the same harsh rules applied to his daughter because this is what made him limit contact with his family and go to therapy. While he is interested in his daughter’s life, he’s raising her in a way that would ensure a healthy relationship between them, make her a responsible and trustworthy person and does that by giving her the right amount of freedom. He shared that he doesn’t monitor her, doesn’t check her homework and allows her to go to bed when she feels like it. This way, the man hopes that his daughter learns to take care of herself, understand what works for her, and work hard for her future without being pushed to do so by someone else. And this approach has made their relationship work for the best.
The man shared that he invited his sister and her family to live with him and his daughter because their home was flooded
Image credits: u/rrraannnddooomm
The author of the post revealed that he isn’t too strict with his daughter and it helps to keep their relationship happy
Image credits: Alden Cornelll (not the actual image)
However, the man’s sister didn’t think that the way her brother parents his daughter is suitable because she noticed how her own kids, seeing how their uncle and cousin lives, have started “rebelling”. The author of the post revealed that while he tries to give some space and freedom to his 14-year-old, his sister is overly strict with her kids, monitoring them, constantly checking their schoolwork and not even allowing them to have their doors shut. Seeing how freely her niece lives, the woman said that her brother should do something about this. But the man didn’t budge and instead told her that if she doesn’t like being there, she can move out. Knowing that his response could’ve been too harsh, the man then asked others online what they thought about this situation.
When it comes to parenting, the man’s sister is an opposite to him because of her constant monitoring of her kids
Image credits: u/rrraannnddooomm
A lot of Reddit users agreed with the dad, even praising his parenting methods and that he is raising a mindful and responsible kid. Some of them expressed their concern for his sister’s kids who, from the given examples of how she treats them, could lack understanding in the future about the things that OP’s daughter has already learned about. What is your take on this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
Because of their opposite views, the sister started criticizing her brother’s parenting, saying that because of him, her kids started rebelling
Image credits: u/rrraannnddooomm
According to CNBC, there are 4 types of parenting: permissive, authoritative, neglectful, and authoritarian. Permissive parents are considered those who, in order to avoid conflict, allow their kids more than they should. These people are seen more as a friend figure rather than a parental one. Authoritative parents nurture and support their kids, but at the same time, they provide clear rules and expect their kids to follow them, at the same time guiding and explaining matters to them. Neglectful parents are seen as not involved in their kid’s life as much as, for example, authoritative parents, and are unable to set certain rules because of their lack of interest in their son or daughter. Authoritarian parents are very much focused on disciplining their kids without expecting the kids to provide them with feedback or wishes, feeling as if they know better what their offspring needs. While some people might believe in strict parenting and its inevitable results, being able to listen to your kid and show your support and love while teaching them about life and how to navigate through it helps to maintain a solid relationship with your kid and raise a well-aware and prepared person.
The Original Poster didn’t appreciate his sister talking to him like this, so he asked her to either stop or find another place to live
Image credits: Henderson HIlls (not the actual image)
The man took some time to explain how this whole situation happened in the first place
Image credits: u/rrraannnddooomm
Not knowing if he’s right, the man asked the opinions of others online who were quick to say that he wasn’t in the wrong
A lot of people online took time to praise the man for how he raises his daughter
Image credits: u/rrraannnddooomm
Aside from the unfortunate tragedy that happened with the sister's house (I seriously cannot imagine what that must be like and I truly hope her family is able to bounce back), the sister chose to stress herself out with being a helicopter parent and basically taking after her strict parents. If only she would take a step back and observe her kids to see how they behave without her constant nosing in on them, then she might see that they are likely good kids that can be trusted with a more relaxed routine. Basically, she needs to try to think outside of her own box and see that she may not need to be so strict with her kids.
"the sister chose to stress herself out with being a helicopter parent": yes, totally what I think
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I love this post. The OP is treating his daughter like our parents treated us mostly (they were strict on some stuff like our chores but really not on others like curfews and homework). We all turned out right. His daughter even has a business! I love that everyone said NTA to OP. Like most said, his sister needs to think and reason out why she's micromanaging her children.
Tbh my only curfew growing up was back before it got Dark. In winter that was 5:30-6pm. In Summer that was 7:30-8:30pm. Always one that made sense to me. And i didn't go out much anyway. If you treat your kids like they have brains of their own, and focus on their safety, it surprises little that they grow up well adjusted and understanding. Except the helicopter or abusive parents. Those people it surprises greatly. Edit: Typos.
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I've always kept the "Not my kid, not my place to open my mouth" mindset. If the kids are turning out okay, who am I to judge or say anything? Sis here needs to learn that if you stick your nose where it doesn't belong, someone will put you in your place, low blow or not. Good on the OP for (hopefully) not putting up with her c**p.
Feel bad for the sisters kids, they are definitely not turning out okay
Load More Replies... Aside from the unfortunate tragedy that happened with the sister's house (I seriously cannot imagine what that must be like and I truly hope her family is able to bounce back), the sister chose to stress herself out with being a helicopter parent and basically taking after her strict parents. If only she would take a step back and observe her kids to see how they behave without her constant nosing in on them, then she might see that they are likely good kids that can be trusted with a more relaxed routine. Basically, she needs to try to think outside of her own box and see that she may not need to be so strict with her kids.
"the sister chose to stress herself out with being a helicopter parent": yes, totally what I think
Load More Replies... I love this post. The OP is treating his daughter like our parents treated us mostly (they were strict on some stuff like our chores but really not on others like curfews and homework). We all turned out right. His daughter even has a business! I love that everyone said NTA to OP. Like most said, his sister needs to think and reason out why she's micromanaging her children.
Tbh my only curfew growing up was back before it got Dark. In winter that was 5:30-6pm. In Summer that was 7:30-8:30pm. Always one that made sense to me. And i didn't go out much anyway. If you treat your kids like they have brains of their own, and focus on their safety, it surprises little that they grow up well adjusted and understanding. Except the helicopter or abusive parents. Those people it surprises greatly. Edit: Typos.
Load More Replies... I've always kept the "Not my kid, not my place to open my mouth" mindset. If the kids are turning out okay, who am I to judge or say anything? Sis here needs to learn that if you stick your nose where it doesn't belong, someone will put you in your place, low blow or not. Good on the OP for (hopefully) not putting up with her c**p.
Feel bad for the sisters kids, they are definitely not turning out okay
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