Teen Refuses To Babysit Kids At A Party, One Of The Dads Becomes Furious When His Kid Is Left Unsupervised
It is not an easy task to watch over a kid. It’s even more demanding when there are six, eight, or twelve of them. That is why nannies and kindergartens exist, so parents can leave their little ones in the safe hands of the professionals—people who choose to do this and get paid for it.
Some parents, however, tend to put this responsibility on others free of charge. They think that someone will look after their child without previously agreeing to it just because they’re around. A young woman on Reddit shared her story of being blamed for not looking after a child when she never agreed to it in the first place. She was expected to babysit kids at a family gathering when one of them wandered off to a nearby creek unsupervised. The dad of the kid was furious with rage and others called her a jerk for not taking care of the infants. She turned to the AITA community to be the judge of that.
Woman on Reddit discussed the time she was expected to watch over children and one wandered off unsupervised
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
Guests at family gatherings though she would be looking after their kids without her agreeing to it
Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
Parents bear responsibility for their children from the second they’re born, so it’s understandable they seek help every once in a while. Grandparents often give them a hand in such situations. There are also nannies and people in kindergartens and schools to alleviate the load. In one way or another, all of them agree to take over responsibility for the tiny human for at least a moment.
When they do, these people are expected to ensure the safety of those in their care. But this expectation often comes from within us as well. For example, when left alone in a room with a toddler, a person will most likely stop them from reaching for any sharp objects nearby. It doesn’t really matter if it’s common sense or natural instinct that does it, but a person feels responsible for the kid all of a sudden.
There are times when parents use this trait maliciously. They get used to their kid being safe around a certain person and start shifting responsibility without any warning. It is not only unfair but dangerous as well; the person might not be paying as close attention as they would if they knew what’s expected of them. In similar cases, parents often don’t watch over their children, and if others don’t know that they should, the kid might be left unsupervised.
People at the family gathering were repeatedly taking advantage of the OP’s sense of responsibility. They never asked her to take care of their kids but then scolded her the second one went missing. Some even considered the girl to be a jerk, but is it fair to leave someone you care for unattended and blame others if something happens?
The r/AITA community had lots to say but most members agreed that the OP was not the jerk
Here’s an idea for the next party. At the end of the day when everybody is getting ready to leave, quietly give every kid an energy drink and a list of swear words.
My husband and I went to a wedding for one of his friends. A lot of his friends are former co-workers. One, in particular, I disliked because she always took the air that she was better than everyone else. She shows up to the wedding with her two kids in tow. But then comes the part where she ignores the kids in order to socialize. I watch in horror as her son puts his fingers on the bottom tier of the wedding cake and licks the frosting off of them. I point it out, she does nothing, her husband goes to stop him. Her solution to control the kids "Let's have the photographer take pictures of the kids outside." Uhm, that's not his job. His job is to photograph the married couple. That's what they paid him for. Why do people have kids if they aren't willing to parent.
For 3 reasons that I can truly think of. 1. They got pregnant and feel morally obligated to keep the pregnancy and have the child. 2. The status of it. "Oh look at me I'm a parent I'm a responsible adult. 3. It was obviously the cool thing to do.
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16 year old watching 8-10 kids under six at an outdoor party on property with a waterfeature sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen, anyway.
Where I live one registered and qualified child minder can only look after up to 6 children under the age of 8 years old at any one time. The adults in this situation, regardless of being entitled, rude and disrespectful of OP, are being irresponsible to their own children by forcing this on OP. They are the grown ups, they are the parents only they and they alone are responsible. Also, where I live, I can legally leave my child with someone under 18... but if anything happens to my child, whether I'm present or not, I am legally responsible. The parents are absolute cockwombles
Agreed. Where I live, it is 4-5 depending on age. Anything more is simply unsafe, especially in an outdoor environment.
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Sounds like the time to explain that their parents lie about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, god, Easter bunny...
Using teenage children as free babysitters because "it's a family thing" is so f****d up. If they don't know how to use a condom, they shouldn't bury others with their responsibility. Their children, their problem. Why are (some) people with children so blind d***s about it? Watch your own f*****g kids instead of stealing other people's leisure time.
Oooh, the possibilities (BIG EVIL GRIN)! I can imagine myself saying, "Is it MY fault they can't use a condom?" But that's just me.
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A tip: find an adult ally, and stick to their side throughout the party. Let them tell the parents to look after their own kids. It is not acceptable for one person to be constantly given the task of looking after the children, and it's definitely not okay for one people to be required to look after so many little children. A good ratio is 0 - 2 years - one adult to three children. 2 - 3 years - one adult to four children. 4 - 8 years - one adult to six children.
At a party, I would be that ally. I would have absolutely no reservations about telling a parent to either watch their own children, or cough up enough $$ to make it worth someone's while. The rates I'd set would make them change their tune in a heartbeat. If they gave me any lip about it, I would merely say, "We can discuss the matter with the police and CPS. After all, I AM a mandated reporter. Any questions?" Complete with the Spock raised eyebrow. Chances are, the discussion ends there.
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I was the quirky aunt and they learned pretty quickly not to leave me alone with kids. My weapons of choice were kid makeup, finger paint, tons of glue, glitter and coloured paper and at the third and last occasion a huge bag of cheap plastic kazoos. Each and every occasion was messier, louder and stickyer than the last. My SIL heard me talking about plastic recorders and police whistles to keep the kids happy and occupied and how to make your own bongos and decided then and there never to leave me alone with the kids ever again. The next party they hired a sitter that definitely wasn't me.
Screw this noise! She's a child herself not free daycare to dump your kids at because you can't be bothered. How disgusting
A couple times a year, my brothers and sisters and I all convene at my parents farm. The first few years, for some reason, there was a pack 'n' play with a baby in it, in MY room. The room I was sleeping in for the weekend, so he didn't wake up his parents. I did say something about that in private to my mother. Then one morning I'm outside, no one's up yet. I'm having a mimosa, reading in the shade. Some nieces and nephews come over with their parents, say hello, and then kids and parents run off to go to the barn. I go back to reading. An hour later, I'm being screamed at because I don't know where the kids are. Aren't I supposed to be watching them?
If you're a parent and you bring kids, it's your responsibility to watch em. Grew up to large family gatherings and none of us kids were ever imposed on our older cousins. In truth, if our parents caught us hanging around a particular teen we'd get in trouble and our respective parents profusely apologized....never knew why till I became a teen, lol. Family gatherings with 50+ people with lil Rugrats all over is exhausting! Hard to find a place where the youngins CAN'T get to. Or if you do find a place, can't make too much noise (like playing pool) or you'll be swarmed with 20 or so kids asking a plethora of questions and being rowdy. We'd just put up with it until the adults realized what was going on and we'd love somewhere else....like the roof and just chill. Ah, memories :)
This story makes me glad that I was the youngest of all my cousins and everyone, so I was always completely ignored for 95% of all family gatherings. Trust me, being alone or hanging out with the animals was preferable to the few drunken relatives that did interact with me.
Leaving an underage person to watch your children while you drink. Tell that to the cops.
Parents are always responsible for their children first. Then every other family member should also have half an eye out looking at what is going on. Even young children can be taught to look out for the safety of others and shout for help if needed.
When i was a kid and we had family things there was 23 of us cousins. We were responsible for each other. No one bothered trying too supervise us because 23 little a******s running around is an impossible feat. Now the 23 of us have 58 kids and it's even worse while being exactly the same
OP is so NTA!! The brother and the AH who screamed at her are the gigantic AHs and all the rest of the "parents" who think this is acceptable. I would never ever go to the parties and if asked would say straight out that I am not a free babysitter for all the AH parents ( sister, brother, all of them!!) Stand up and don't EVER let people take advantage of you under any circumstances!
I've been in her position and when I say I don't want kids, the same family members who still try to foist their kids on me tell me I'm young, and speaking from without (BTW I'm 25F, I think I'm old enough to know my mind). I hear things like "You want kids, how can you not? It's inevitable" "Don't be foolish, you want kids" "There's power in the tongue, the devil can hear you" "you don't know what you're talking about, just keep quiet" "there are people who can't have kids and you who can is throwing the opportunity away" but really, their kids have made me averse to them, among other factors.
You could have 20 kids & the "people who can't have kids" STILL won't be able to have them. I hate that so many people use that ridiculous argument to guilt women into having kids.
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Sounds like you need to stop going or start charging. An seriously talk to your parents how you are being treated at these parties as a free babysitter and talked rude to. It's not your job to watch the kids. You're not even enjoying the gathering. Make plans to stay with a friend next time you hear about one of these parties in advance an tell your parents you are having a study sleep over or a movie night. And please talk to your parents how uncomfortable it's making you. Be honest. Say they disrespect your supervision (the kids) and the adults for when you can't even use the restroom because the kids wander off.
I stopped attending family functions when I found out I was only invited because they wanted to use me for a free baby sitter so they could all have fun kid free! Don't get me wrong. I love children and am very protective of little ones it does not matter who's child! Any child. But to let you think that they invited you because they cared about you and wanted you there. Only to find out they just wanted a free baby sitter while they all enjoy the party or gathering is just cruel and heartless! You did not show up to be stuck changing diapers or mixing Pablum. Then they want you to clean up their mess after its over! So you were not actually a guest but just used for baby sitting and sanitation duty! After so many times you get tired of it. The last party my family invited me to I asked them. Who's minding the children? They said it's YOUR JOB! I then told them that a JOB usually pays money! Did not attend. Never got invited to any other family function. They were just using me!
I have NO WORDS, other than, OP, “No” is a sentence. I didn’t learn this until I was 40. I wish I understood this when I was your age. All the best & NEVER let anyone make you explain ‘No.’ EVER.
There are state statutes of how many children a child care provider can attend to. You are a minor child being put in a situation that is illegal. I'd be notifying social services so these people quit with their ignorant antics. Yeah it may be extreme but sometimes it takes something this big to smack down their despicable behavior. Not to mention is something happened to an unattended child. The parents would be putting blame on the teenager. And then turn they could charge her as an adult. These situation call for no mercy cuz the adults obviously don't care The teenager needs her voice heard through a legal entity like social services and the police department. When it comes to something like this you can't be nice about the situation Because it could totally ruin the teenagers life there is a mishap. And then what the adults get to go on their merry way thinking that they're ignorant decisions are no big deal. Know-it-all parents need to be smacked down.
Nta. I wouldn't go to any of the parties, or I would leave early to show that it is in fact that your job to do that
Imagine if suffering happened to one of these kids. You would be blamed and your parents are A- holes for putting you and tthem in that situation. A licensed daycare would only allow 6 children under 6 to be supervised by one trained adult!
Not only are they looking to have a good time and forget about kids (leave them at home with a babysitter) but daycare has a 5 to 1 ratio for safety for the reason they can't watch everyone.
NTA. I had a relative a long time ago who would invite me and other family members to her home for a social occasion and then she would declare, "I'm going to put y'all to work." She would assign a list of household chores and fully expect the work to be done. Everyone knew she would do it and everyone hated it but to keep the peace we complied with her demands for many years. She didn't take it well at all if we didn't. She probably had no idea how much everyone dreaded "visiting" her. No one had a problem helping her out when she needed it but she was just lazy, demanding and had a way overblown sense of entitlement. You know, sometimes a family would like to get together just to actually visit. Those parents sound like they're natured the same irritating way.
That sounds awful. Those parents should be ashamed of themselves for dumping their kids onto a teenager without expecting to pay or even asking the teen if they're okay with it. It's not the teen's job to look after your kid, it's the parent's job, and they have no right to yell at the teen. I would never attend another party there if that happened to me. A teenager shouldn't be in charge of that many kids anyway. That's way too many for even an adult to handle.
sounds like a good time to make yourself the leader of the family "gang" and make a few memories with your cousins nieces and nephews! Make sure by the time you and the "gang" are done, they will see you as so "irresponsible" watching kids and allowing them to be destructive that they won't trust you with them EVER again! A few artistic drawings on walls, dug up flowers, muddy cars or wet muddy toddlers jumping on furniture makes you look like a horrible baby sitter every time!
NTA. The parents are. Yours as well. So is Sis, she sees what's going on. I wouldn't allow my guests to take advantage of my kid sister. The next party, I would ask if I'm a guest, or a babysitter. Let them know if you're the babysitter, that your fee, is either $8.00 per hour, per head. Or a flat rate of $300.00 for the 3 hour event. Payable up front. Invite a friend to help you, because 8-10 kids, under the age of 10 is too much for one person. If they they say you're an invited guest,then do not under any circumstances tend to those kids. If they come to you for a drink, tell them to get their mom/dad to get it. They want to play, tell the to get their mom/dad to play with them. Keep it up. Do what someone else said, bring your ear buds, and a book.
Not her responsibility. And maybe it's better if the parents ask or just put her to see their kids, put signage for the rates.
I was that teenager. To make sure my son was not I set the rule in our house that he could close his door whenever he liked and warned parents that when it was open he was possibly playing objectionable video games. He actually likes and is really great with children so usually he was willing to forgo games and hang with his cousins doing family friendly activities. Now he is in college to be a history teacher. On the contrary I was forced to oversee a dozen screaming brats so I have one child myself and work in the prison system doing clinical assessments.
This can happen even if your an adult. I was in charge of meal and kids, sat at kid table for years with my children and everyone else's too.
Sooooooo, in most places expecting anyone to watch more than 5 kids at a time depending on ages is illegal in a licensed setting. Because it is dangerous. Obviously, a single teenager with that many lil tykes is a stupid plan. Wtf is wrong with these people? She needs to invite a couple of WILLING friends and definitely charge.
One person having to watch 8-10 kids? That is like having to do kindergarten and knowing exactly where everyone is... Like that is abuse of basically free labor. Either OP needs to explain what is going on to their family, because they don't know, or they are definitely a******* for forcing OP to do it. Family isn't just about having kids do stuff, it is also about understanding and finding solutions. And OP is well justified in her complaint.
They have a lot of nerve making you the designated babysitter. I would announce as soon as i walked in the door that im a guest, I dont have kids, and im not babysitting, and then hang with the adults. Dont ask me to check on them either. Not my job. I used to be stuck with my younger siblings and it sucked.
Also my sister is 11 years older than me and my mom always made her take me with her and her friends. She hated me because of it. Once we were both adults she admitted it to me.
Dang! You all work cheap. I got 10. an hour per kid 40 years ago. I would say 20. an hour per kid and really more than 4 is too much to expect. You are totally NTA. Don't let them off cheap just because they are family.
I am also that one teen and i would totally charge per kid and the more bratty and effort intensive the kid the more i would charge. Maybe 10 per hour or less if the kid is nice and not annoying and probably up to as much as 30 or 40 if they are a trouble maker. Also don't forget to set a maximum of about 4 or 5 and charge an additional fee of 100 for every child above that (you could use it to pay for a friend to help). Definitely NTA. Put your foot down.
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Just me, and I’m arguably privileged that ‘small’ amounts of money aren’t an issue - but in my family, for a family gathering, I’m fairly sure we’d ask one or more teens to act as sitters, and the parents would all kick in some $$$ to pay them. In addition to the obvious, there’s all kinds of WIN in terms of interacting and strengthening family relationships.
NTA. I babysat at parties, but I volunteered, no one asked. At most, I may have been asked if I could play with some of the older ones, which again, I loved to do. I never felt pressured. I carried the infants carrys with me wherever I went, took them to parents when they need changed or crying unsettled (usually hungry). Never did my family or friends DEMAND I babysit! That is TAH thing to do. It is morally wrong to place an underage child/teen/etc in charge of the number of children that would normally take 2 adults to legally watch at a daycare!!! 12 kids legally take 2-3 adults, and under 12 take 1-2 adults. Closer to 12, more you should have a 2nd adult to legally cover you. This is inexcusable. Get a babysitter if they do not want to deal with them. I never watched more than about 5-6 kids at a time! Anything more be dangerous by myself as a teen.
Ok! So NTA - but there is one thing i do think- i have a three year old and when we get together with family and there are lots of other little kids its easy to lose track of them. I don’t expect anyone to look after my kid but if a kid, especially a little one , asks to go with you to a creek/potentially dangerous area and then wanders off to that place by themselves- thats dangerous. While you don’t need to be watching that kid, letting their parents know where they are or making sure they don’t go off on their own to do that is being à responsible human- and could be the difference between a kid drowning in a creek because you were taking a stand against being used by the family. It wouldn’t be your fault but i bet you’d feel s****y af about it. You dont have to watch over other peoples kids but if you notice a child missing or making their way to areas where no one is watching i think anyone has an obligation to yell at that kid to get back or/and tell their parents that they are about to run off .
Girl is 16. Society hasn't even deemed her mature enough to drink alcohol or vote yet. She was tired, overwhelmed and watching 9 other kids. When was she supposed to get away from all the others to tell that one child's actual parent anything? Your basically doing what her BIL did just more passive aggressively.
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I was a single and my child went everywhere I went and I always kept on eye on her a taught her to never be out of my sight. I never expect another person at any gathering to watch my child because it was always my responsibility. And yes my child knew right from wrong and was well behaved.
Americans are lazy and entitled. Avoid them. They are not your responsibility.
Not the AH but maybe have some foresight about a young child wanting to play in water.. steer them to ask their parents to go, tell them to go inside and get them and when they do, wash your hands of the situation. An unsupervised 6 and under child can still drown in a not very deep creek. Still, not the AH but also not super keen on foresight.
This is way you don't have someone society has deamed to young/immature to drink or vote watch 10+ children. No one has the mental bandwidth to watch that many kids all day.
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Here’s an idea for the next party. At the end of the day when everybody is getting ready to leave, quietly give every kid an energy drink and a list of swear words.
My husband and I went to a wedding for one of his friends. A lot of his friends are former co-workers. One, in particular, I disliked because she always took the air that she was better than everyone else. She shows up to the wedding with her two kids in tow. But then comes the part where she ignores the kids in order to socialize. I watch in horror as her son puts his fingers on the bottom tier of the wedding cake and licks the frosting off of them. I point it out, she does nothing, her husband goes to stop him. Her solution to control the kids "Let's have the photographer take pictures of the kids outside." Uhm, that's not his job. His job is to photograph the married couple. That's what they paid him for. Why do people have kids if they aren't willing to parent.
For 3 reasons that I can truly think of. 1. They got pregnant and feel morally obligated to keep the pregnancy and have the child. 2. The status of it. "Oh look at me I'm a parent I'm a responsible adult. 3. It was obviously the cool thing to do.
Load More Replies... 16 year old watching 8-10 kids under six at an outdoor party on property with a waterfeature sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen, anyway.
Where I live one registered and qualified child minder can only look after up to 6 children under the age of 8 years old at any one time. The adults in this situation, regardless of being entitled, rude and disrespectful of OP, are being irresponsible to their own children by forcing this on OP. They are the grown ups, they are the parents only they and they alone are responsible. Also, where I live, I can legally leave my child with someone under 18... but if anything happens to my child, whether I'm present or not, I am legally responsible. The parents are absolute cockwombles
Agreed. Where I live, it is 4-5 depending on age. Anything more is simply unsafe, especially in an outdoor environment.
Load More Replies... Sounds like the time to explain that their parents lie about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, god, Easter bunny...
Using teenage children as free babysitters because "it's a family thing" is so f****d up. If they don't know how to use a condom, they shouldn't bury others with their responsibility. Their children, their problem. Why are (some) people with children so blind d***s about it? Watch your own f*****g kids instead of stealing other people's leisure time.
Oooh, the possibilities (BIG EVIL GRIN)! I can imagine myself saying, "Is it MY fault they can't use a condom?" But that's just me.
Load More Replies... A tip: find an adult ally, and stick to their side throughout the party. Let them tell the parents to look after their own kids. It is not acceptable for one person to be constantly given the task of looking after the children, and it's definitely not okay for one people to be required to look after so many little children. A good ratio is 0 - 2 years - one adult to three children. 2 - 3 years - one adult to four children. 4 - 8 years - one adult to six children.
At a party, I would be that ally. I would have absolutely no reservations about telling a parent to either watch their own children, or cough up enough $$ to make it worth someone's while. The rates I'd set would make them change their tune in a heartbeat. If they gave me any lip about it, I would merely say, "We can discuss the matter with the police and CPS. After all, I AM a mandated reporter. Any questions?" Complete with the Spock raised eyebrow. Chances are, the discussion ends there.
Load More Replies... I was the quirky aunt and they learned pretty quickly not to leave me alone with kids. My weapons of choice were kid makeup, finger paint, tons of glue, glitter and coloured paper and at the third and last occasion a huge bag of cheap plastic kazoos. Each and every occasion was messier, louder and stickyer than the last. My SIL heard me talking about plastic recorders and police whistles to keep the kids happy and occupied and how to make your own bongos and decided then and there never to leave me alone with the kids ever again. The next party they hired a sitter that definitely wasn't me.
Screw this noise! She's a child herself not free daycare to dump your kids at because you can't be bothered. How disgusting
A couple times a year, my brothers and sisters and I all convene at my parents farm. The first few years, for some reason, there was a pack 'n' play with a baby in it, in MY room. The room I was sleeping in for the weekend, so he didn't wake up his parents. I did say something about that in private to my mother. Then one morning I'm outside, no one's up yet. I'm having a mimosa, reading in the shade. Some nieces and nephews come over with their parents, say hello, and then kids and parents run off to go to the barn. I go back to reading. An hour later, I'm being screamed at because I don't know where the kids are. Aren't I supposed to be watching them?
If you're a parent and you bring kids, it's your responsibility to watch em. Grew up to large family gatherings and none of us kids were ever imposed on our older cousins. In truth, if our parents caught us hanging around a particular teen we'd get in trouble and our respective parents profusely apologized....never knew why till I became a teen, lol. Family gatherings with 50+ people with lil Rugrats all over is exhausting! Hard to find a place where the youngins CAN'T get to. Or if you do find a place, can't make too much noise (like playing pool) or you'll be swarmed with 20 or so kids asking a plethora of questions and being rowdy. We'd just put up with it until the adults realized what was going on and we'd love somewhere else....like the roof and just chill. Ah, memories :)
This story makes me glad that I was the youngest of all my cousins and everyone, so I was always completely ignored for 95% of all family gatherings. Trust me, being alone or hanging out with the animals was preferable to the few drunken relatives that did interact with me.
Leaving an underage person to watch your children while you drink. Tell that to the cops.
Parents are always responsible for their children first. Then every other family member should also have half an eye out looking at what is going on. Even young children can be taught to look out for the safety of others and shout for help if needed.
When i was a kid and we had family things there was 23 of us cousins. We were responsible for each other. No one bothered trying too supervise us because 23 little a******s running around is an impossible feat. Now the 23 of us have 58 kids and it's even worse while being exactly the same
OP is so NTA!! The brother and the AH who screamed at her are the gigantic AHs and all the rest of the "parents" who think this is acceptable. I would never ever go to the parties and if asked would say straight out that I am not a free babysitter for all the AH parents ( sister, brother, all of them!!) Stand up and don't EVER let people take advantage of you under any circumstances!
I've been in her position and when I say I don't want kids, the same family members who still try to foist their kids on me tell me I'm young, and speaking from without (BTW I'm 25F, I think I'm old enough to know my mind). I hear things like "You want kids, how can you not? It's inevitable" "Don't be foolish, you want kids" "There's power in the tongue, the devil can hear you" "you don't know what you're talking about, just keep quiet" "there are people who can't have kids and you who can is throwing the opportunity away" but really, their kids have made me averse to them, among other factors.
You could have 20 kids & the "people who can't have kids" STILL won't be able to have them. I hate that so many people use that ridiculous argument to guilt women into having kids.
Load More Replies... Sounds like you need to stop going or start charging. An seriously talk to your parents how you are being treated at these parties as a free babysitter and talked rude to. It's not your job to watch the kids. You're not even enjoying the gathering. Make plans to stay with a friend next time you hear about one of these parties in advance an tell your parents you are having a study sleep over or a movie night. And please talk to your parents how uncomfortable it's making you. Be honest. Say they disrespect your supervision (the kids) and the adults for when you can't even use the restroom because the kids wander off.
I stopped attending family functions when I found out I was only invited because they wanted to use me for a free baby sitter so they could all have fun kid free! Don't get me wrong. I love children and am very protective of little ones it does not matter who's child! Any child. But to let you think that they invited you because they cared about you and wanted you there. Only to find out they just wanted a free baby sitter while they all enjoy the party or gathering is just cruel and heartless! You did not show up to be stuck changing diapers or mixing Pablum. Then they want you to clean up their mess after its over! So you were not actually a guest but just used for baby sitting and sanitation duty! After so many times you get tired of it. The last party my family invited me to I asked them. Who's minding the children? They said it's YOUR JOB! I then told them that a JOB usually pays money! Did not attend. Never got invited to any other family function. They were just using me!
I have NO WORDS, other than, OP, “No” is a sentence. I didn’t learn this until I was 40. I wish I understood this when I was your age. All the best & NEVER let anyone make you explain ‘No.’ EVER.
There are state statutes of how many children a child care provider can attend to. You are a minor child being put in a situation that is illegal. I'd be notifying social services so these people quit with their ignorant antics. Yeah it may be extreme but sometimes it takes something this big to smack down their despicable behavior. Not to mention is something happened to an unattended child. The parents would be putting blame on the teenager. And then turn they could charge her as an adult. These situation call for no mercy cuz the adults obviously don't care The teenager needs her voice heard through a legal entity like social services and the police department. When it comes to something like this you can't be nice about the situation Because it could totally ruin the teenagers life there is a mishap. And then what the adults get to go on their merry way thinking that they're ignorant decisions are no big deal. Know-it-all parents need to be smacked down.
Nta. I wouldn't go to any of the parties, or I would leave early to show that it is in fact that your job to do that
Imagine if suffering happened to one of these kids. You would be blamed and your parents are A- holes for putting you and tthem in that situation. A licensed daycare would only allow 6 children under 6 to be supervised by one trained adult!
Not only are they looking to have a good time and forget about kids (leave them at home with a babysitter) but daycare has a 5 to 1 ratio for safety for the reason they can't watch everyone.
NTA. I had a relative a long time ago who would invite me and other family members to her home for a social occasion and then she would declare, "I'm going to put y'all to work." She would assign a list of household chores and fully expect the work to be done. Everyone knew she would do it and everyone hated it but to keep the peace we complied with her demands for many years. She didn't take it well at all if we didn't. She probably had no idea how much everyone dreaded "visiting" her. No one had a problem helping her out when she needed it but she was just lazy, demanding and had a way overblown sense of entitlement. You know, sometimes a family would like to get together just to actually visit. Those parents sound like they're natured the same irritating way.
That sounds awful. Those parents should be ashamed of themselves for dumping their kids onto a teenager without expecting to pay or even asking the teen if they're okay with it. It's not the teen's job to look after your kid, it's the parent's job, and they have no right to yell at the teen. I would never attend another party there if that happened to me. A teenager shouldn't be in charge of that many kids anyway. That's way too many for even an adult to handle.
sounds like a good time to make yourself the leader of the family "gang" and make a few memories with your cousins nieces and nephews! Make sure by the time you and the "gang" are done, they will see you as so "irresponsible" watching kids and allowing them to be destructive that they won't trust you with them EVER again! A few artistic drawings on walls, dug up flowers, muddy cars or wet muddy toddlers jumping on furniture makes you look like a horrible baby sitter every time!
NTA. The parents are. Yours as well. So is Sis, she sees what's going on. I wouldn't allow my guests to take advantage of my kid sister. The next party, I would ask if I'm a guest, or a babysitter. Let them know if you're the babysitter, that your fee, is either $8.00 per hour, per head. Or a flat rate of $300.00 for the 3 hour event. Payable up front. Invite a friend to help you, because 8-10 kids, under the age of 10 is too much for one person. If they they say you're an invited guest,then do not under any circumstances tend to those kids. If they come to you for a drink, tell them to get their mom/dad to get it. They want to play, tell the to get their mom/dad to play with them. Keep it up. Do what someone else said, bring your ear buds, and a book.
Not her responsibility. And maybe it's better if the parents ask or just put her to see their kids, put signage for the rates.
I was that teenager. To make sure my son was not I set the rule in our house that he could close his door whenever he liked and warned parents that when it was open he was possibly playing objectionable video games. He actually likes and is really great with children so usually he was willing to forgo games and hang with his cousins doing family friendly activities. Now he is in college to be a history teacher. On the contrary I was forced to oversee a dozen screaming brats so I have one child myself and work in the prison system doing clinical assessments.
This can happen even if your an adult. I was in charge of meal and kids, sat at kid table for years with my children and everyone else's too.
Sooooooo, in most places expecting anyone to watch more than 5 kids at a time depending on ages is illegal in a licensed setting. Because it is dangerous. Obviously, a single teenager with that many lil tykes is a stupid plan. Wtf is wrong with these people? She needs to invite a couple of WILLING friends and definitely charge.
One person having to watch 8-10 kids? That is like having to do kindergarten and knowing exactly where everyone is... Like that is abuse of basically free labor. Either OP needs to explain what is going on to their family, because they don't know, or they are definitely a******* for forcing OP to do it. Family isn't just about having kids do stuff, it is also about understanding and finding solutions. And OP is well justified in her complaint.
They have a lot of nerve making you the designated babysitter. I would announce as soon as i walked in the door that im a guest, I dont have kids, and im not babysitting, and then hang with the adults. Dont ask me to check on them either. Not my job. I used to be stuck with my younger siblings and it sucked.
Also my sister is 11 years older than me and my mom always made her take me with her and her friends. She hated me because of it. Once we were both adults she admitted it to me.
Dang! You all work cheap. I got 10. an hour per kid 40 years ago. I would say 20. an hour per kid and really more than 4 is too much to expect. You are totally NTA. Don't let them off cheap just because they are family.
I am also that one teen and i would totally charge per kid and the more bratty and effort intensive the kid the more i would charge. Maybe 10 per hour or less if the kid is nice and not annoying and probably up to as much as 30 or 40 if they are a trouble maker. Also don't forget to set a maximum of about 4 or 5 and charge an additional fee of 100 for every child above that (you could use it to pay for a friend to help). Definitely NTA. Put your foot down.
Load More Replies... Just me, and I’m arguably privileged that ‘small’ amounts of money aren’t an issue - but in my family, for a family gathering, I’m fairly sure we’d ask one or more teens to act as sitters, and the parents would all kick in some $$$ to pay them. In addition to the obvious, there’s all kinds of WIN in terms of interacting and strengthening family relationships.
NTA. I babysat at parties, but I volunteered, no one asked. At most, I may have been asked if I could play with some of the older ones, which again, I loved to do. I never felt pressured. I carried the infants carrys with me wherever I went, took them to parents when they need changed or crying unsettled (usually hungry). Never did my family or friends DEMAND I babysit! That is TAH thing to do. It is morally wrong to place an underage child/teen/etc in charge of the number of children that would normally take 2 adults to legally watch at a daycare!!! 12 kids legally take 2-3 adults, and under 12 take 1-2 adults. Closer to 12, more you should have a 2nd adult to legally cover you. This is inexcusable. Get a babysitter if they do not want to deal with them. I never watched more than about 5-6 kids at a time! Anything more be dangerous by myself as a teen.
Ok! So NTA - but there is one thing i do think- i have a three year old and when we get together with family and there are lots of other little kids its easy to lose track of them. I don’t expect anyone to look after my kid but if a kid, especially a little one , asks to go with you to a creek/potentially dangerous area and then wanders off to that place by themselves- thats dangerous. While you don’t need to be watching that kid, letting their parents know where they are or making sure they don’t go off on their own to do that is being à responsible human- and could be the difference between a kid drowning in a creek because you were taking a stand against being used by the family. It wouldn’t be your fault but i bet you’d feel s****y af about it. You dont have to watch over other peoples kids but if you notice a child missing or making their way to areas where no one is watching i think anyone has an obligation to yell at that kid to get back or/and tell their parents that they are about to run off .
Girl is 16. Society hasn't even deemed her mature enough to drink alcohol or vote yet. She was tired, overwhelmed and watching 9 other kids. When was she supposed to get away from all the others to tell that one child's actual parent anything? Your basically doing what her BIL did just more passive aggressively.
Load More Replies... I was a single and my child went everywhere I went and I always kept on eye on her a taught her to never be out of my sight. I never expect another person at any gathering to watch my child because it was always my responsibility. And yes my child knew right from wrong and was well behaved.
Americans are lazy and entitled. Avoid them. They are not your responsibility.
Not the AH but maybe have some foresight about a young child wanting to play in water.. steer them to ask their parents to go, tell them to go inside and get them and when they do, wash your hands of the situation. An unsupervised 6 and under child can still drown in a not very deep creek. Still, not the AH but also not super keen on foresight.
This is way you don't have someone society has deamed to young/immature to drink or vote watch 10+ children. No one has the mental bandwidth to watch that many kids all day.
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