Parents Think They Have A Right To Daughter’s Money Because They Raised Her, Get A Reality Check

Some say money magnifies what people already are, and for one teen, it created a difficult family dilemma. An 18-year-old shared on Reddit that her parents withdrew close to a thousand dollars from her savings without her permission.

“Your money is our money,” they claimed and asked her to transfer more the next day.

The teen, who works for her father and has been putting away whatever she can, refused to hand over additional funds and it has led to a heated argument.

This teenager had big plans for how to spend her money

Image credits: Ave Calvar/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But they were undermined by her parents’ actions

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: throwAwayWho818

Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum believes that since an 18-year-old is deemed an adult, they are free to decide for themselves whether to work or not

Image credits: Joseph Sinclair

Our parenting expert, an award-winning TV broadcaster and author, Vicki Broadbent, thinks that it’s ideal for children and parents to have an open, trusting relationship so subjects like work and money can be discussed regularly, regardless of age.

But at the end of the day, “parents of those under 18 should approve the job their teen does. They have a duty of care towards their child,” Broadbent, who runs the popular family lifestyle blog Honest Mum, told Bored Panda.

The question of whether a working teenager who still lives with their parents should contribute to the family’s budget or bills can be hard to answer because the perspectives vary widely.

“Every situation will differ but whatever is decided upon should be discussed and feel fair for all parties,” Broadbent said. “Perhaps a percentage of the teen’s earnings (5 or 10%) could contribute to food and bills to help them learn life skills but ideally, the teen would work as an extra means to earn money to buy things they want, especially if they are studying and the job is part-time, and of course, contributing would depend on their age.”

“I think it’s a big ask for even a 16-year-old to contribute financially to the family. Their earnings are not going to match an 18-year-old usually and the pressure could feel stifling,” the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada) added.

Teenagers are increasingly returning to the workforce

After the 1970s, teen participation in the United States labor force steadily declined and dropped from 59.3% in 1978 to 32.5% in 2014. But since then, it’s been moving up again, reaching 36.2% last month.

Experts say financial need is driving more and more teenagers to work—prices are 22.1% more expensive today than they were before the pandemic recession began in February 2020.

Furthermore, according to a survey released in May, about 64% of parents living with children under the age of 18 said they felt financially secure in 2023, down from 69% in 2022.

So for many of those who are old enough to work, getting a part-time job to cover their needs and help the family with the bills has become a reality.

But in this case, the teen had already been working hard and saving for her future, showing responsibility beyond her years. She may have contributed to her parents’ budget if they had asked her directly, but taking the money behind her back not only broke her trust—it sent a message that her efforts didn’t matter (or belong to her) at all.

“The parents in the article absolutely crossed the line,” our parenting expert Vicki Broadbent said. “There was no discussion or explanation nor a request for their daughter’s hard-earned cash. They accessed her account without her consent.”

“Had they explained their financial situation and offered to pay back that money or create a plan where the daughter contributes a percentage of earnings to assist them in the future or to cover her rent, it would not have felt like a betrayal of trust.”

Vicki highlighted that in many places—such as the US or her home country, the UK—an 18-year-old is legally considered an adult, “so the parents would have no right to their daughter’s money irrespective of whether she lives with them or not.”

Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

As her story went viral, the teen joined the discussion in the comments

Pretty much everyone said that her parents had crossed the line

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