Couple Searches For Server After Long Wait, Refuses To Tip On $200 Bill Because Of What They Found

It seems that everyone has an opinion about tipping culture, but no one can agree on the rules. What is good service? How big of a percentage does it deserve? These questions are hard to answer definitively, especially when people’s livelihoods are at stake.

However, Reddit user RoseKaKe believes he and his wife have just had an experience so bad that it wasn’t worth anything. The couple were repeatedly ignored by the staff and their night didn’t really start for nearly half an hour. So after the bill arrived, they got up without leaving a single penny.

Now, the man wants to know if it was the right move, so he’s asking the members of r/AITAH to share their opinions on the situation.

This man and his wife received service they believe deserved a 0% tip

A staff member in a cafe, wearing a purple shirt and apron, looks at a phone.

Image credits: msvyatkovska / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

So he told their story online and asked if others agreed

Text on image about being forgotten by restaurant staff, leading to no tip given.

Text about being forgotten by restaurant staff, server and hostess on phones, leading to no tip.

Text describes a delayed restaurant experience leading to a decision not to tip the staff.

Image credits: RoseKaKe

Most view tipping as a form of performance review

Image credits: zinkevych / freepik (not the actual photo)

In many places, tipping expectations have changed over the past few years. For example, according to a 2023 Pew Research survey of nearly 12,000 adult Americans, about 72 percent say they are being asked to tip service workers more frequently than in the past, and only about a third say it’s “extremely or very easy” to know when and how much to tip.

Shubhranshu Singh, a marketing professor at Johns Hopkins University, thinks there have been two major reasons for this.

One is the pandemic. We started tipping people we didn’t use to and more than usual as a way to support workers at a time of crisis. The second is the technology around how we pay. For instance, companies behind electronic payment screens, such as Square, usually get a cut of each transaction, so creating software that encourages tipping (and in bigger amounts) means more money for the business.

A recent Bankrate survey found that 59 percent of Americans view tipping negatively. This includes:

• 37 percent who believe businesses should pay their employees better, rather than relying so much on tips;
• 34 percent who are annoyed about the pre-entered tip screens they encounter at coffee shops, food trucks and elsewhere;
• 14 percent who would be willing to pay higher prices in order to do away with tipping; and
• 11 percent who are confused about who and how much to tip.

The survey also discovered that a majority of people (64 percent) say the amount they tip is most influenced by the quality of service.

This makes sense. If the employer is placing the burden of paying their staff onto the customer, then the customer must also receive the right to set the rate.

In that sense, tipping becomes like a form of performance review—an immediate feedback system where the quality of the interaction directly impacts the reward, rather than an obligation to make up for the employer’s greed.

No wonder we say “the customer is always right.”

People have had a lot of reactions to the story, and most of them said the couple did nothing wrong

Comment advising to speak to the manager about service after being forgotten by staff.

Reddit comment supporting not tipping when staff forgets about service.

Text comment about poor restaurant service experience, mentioning staff neglect and lack of tipping.

Comment about tipping low for poor service due to neglectful staff.

Text exchange discussing tipping and service quality, mentioning staff forgetfulness.

Text expressing frustration over poor service and tipping policies.

Reddit comment about restaurant staff, mentioning management and expressing strong disapproval.

Text discussing staff neglect in a quiet restaurant, leading to no tip due to phone use.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment stating "tipping is always optional" with 65 points.

A comment discussing tipping culture, highlighting the issues with automatic tipping expectations.

Text from a user comment discussing poor service and thoughts on not tipping in America.

Comment about staff forgetting to take an order, discussing busy wait staff and phone usage.

Reddit comment from a restaurant owner discussing tipping and server behavior.

Text response discussing forgotten service and tipping.

But some disagreed with their decision to leave without tipping

Reddit comment discussing service, tipping etiquette, and leaving feedback in restaurants.

Text feedback on tipping and service performance shared on a forum.

Comment discussing tipping and service experience after staff forgot about customers.

Reddit comment discussing tipping etiquette, highlighting the importance of acknowledging service even with reduced tips.

Comment on being overlooked by staff and tipping, related to service industry experience.

Comment discussing staff forgetting guests and tipping, mentioning servers making low wages and addressing management.

Reddit comment discussing tipping and service responsibility.

Reddit comment discussing the consequences of staff forgetting a table, suggesting tipping is still warranted.

Comment discussing tipping and payment fairness in the workplace.

Some also shared other similar cases

Text message about restaurant staff oversight and service experience.

Text post about being forgotten at a restaurant and tipping after receiving a comp.

Text story about forgotten diners at a snowstorm-hit diner, describing the self-service experience.

Image of a text comment describing a situation where staff forgot about customers, leading to a generous tip.

Text conversation about a forgotten restaurant experience and decision not to leave a tip.

Reddit comment discussing staff forgetting customers, tip given to back staff instead.

Text of a negative restaurant experience due to inattentive staff and lack of a tip.

Text story of a group left unattended by staff at a restaurant, resulting in no tip.

Text post about receiving poor service and leaving a minimal tip.

Text image of a story about staff forgetting customers in a pub, leading to a free meal.

Text screenshot about being overlooked by staff in a brewery, leading to a confusing situation.

Text about being ignored at a restaurant and not tipping, shared by user featherdog_enl.

Text from a customer sharing an experience of being forgotten by staff at a steakhouse.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing being forgotten by staff at a restaurant and not tipping.

Reddit comment recounting a forgotten restaurant experience, leading to a comped bill.

Restaurant experience story about forgotten customers and the impact on tipping decisions.

Restaurant incident text about being forgotten by staff and not tipping.

Customer shares experience of not tipping due to poor restaurant service and staff neglect.

Text post describing a couple’s experience of being forgotten by staff, resulting in no tip.

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