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Woman Snaps When Brother Brings Up How She Delivered Him At 7 Years Old
They say time heals all wounds, but sometimes people pick at them before they’re sealed, and the bleeding starts all over again. A woman was recently celebrating her ruby wedding anniversary, and she and her husband had thrown a party for their friends and family.
Everything was going fine until her brother decided to make a speech. With the mic in his hands, he told everyone a story he thought was entertaining, but it was actually the woman’s most traumatic memory, and ruined the entire night for her.
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Some horrific memories keep haunting us long after the traumatic experience is over
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Even though entire decades have passed, this woman just cannot forget what she considers the worst day of her life
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway453199280
For many, traumatic feelings are a constant part of our lives
Image credits: Andy_Dean_Photog / Envato (not the actual photo)
Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW, says childhood family trauma can leave long-lasting effects as it reshapes our sense of self, relationships, and even our worldview.
“The impact of trauma is far-reaching, manifesting in myriad symptoms including anxiety, depression, flashbacks, and emotional numbness,” she writes.
“Many times, these feelings will come flooding back the moment we feel a hint of anything that reminds us of the helpless and hopeless feelings from our childhood,” explains Gillis, author of Breaking the Cycle: the 6 Stages of Healing from Childhood Family Trauma.
It’s easy to tell the woman to just “get over it,” and after reading her story, many Reddit users did. But that’s not how things work.
This prompts our body’s natural fight-or-flight reaction, which secretes massive amounts of stress hormones to save us from the perceived danger. “As much as we would like to be ‘healed’ and be done with it, trauma does not work like that. The truth is that we never really get over it. Our mind and body do not forget.”
As a result, anything that reminds us of our trauma might feel life-threatening, at least to our brain. “Holiday music, important birthdays or anniversaries, the familiar smell of the ocean or a certain perfume—any number of small triggers can activate that trauma response in us, bringing our brains back to that of a small child trying to cope with their stressful environment,” Gillis says.
Healing from trauma isn’t a linear process
Image credits: ebelodedova / Envato (not the actual photo)
It’s impossible to predict how and when someone will hear about their trauma, as progress might include setbacks.
“You don’t wake up one day and the pain is all gone. Much like those who have experienced healing from a broken bone, you will have days when you feel occasional emotional aches and pains, and wounds can be reinjured,” Gillis said.
“There may be moments of profound clarity and insight, followed by periods of intense emotional upheaval. Triggers, reminders of the trauma that evoke strong emotional reactions, can lurk around every corner, catching survivors off guard and sending them spiraling back into the depths of despair.”
Despite all of the challenges, the psychotherapist says healing is possible. But the author of this Reddit post isn’t there yet.
A lot of people who read the woman’s story blamed her for refusing to look at the experience from her brother’s point of view
Some, however, had a different opinion
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What do you think ?
Paige Merlin 1 month ago
How in all these decades when it will have been brought up many times has she never told him it was traumatic to her? If she did NTA, if she didn’t YTA but I don’t see how 50+ years could go by without saying it before
Spencers slave no more 1 month ago
I 100% agree with you Paige. Surely, either OP or their mother, could have shared the circumstances of her brother's birth with him and his twin. If it was never talked about, how the he,ll was he to know?
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Emilu 1 month ago
She’s allowed to have unresolved trauma, and she might need therapy or something. But actually wording it as “the day that you were born was the worst day in my life” without clarifying why is why I’m going with YTA. (Unless she did afterwards, in which case I’d change to NAH).
Nikole 1 month ago
Yep. In the ensuing 40 years after the event, it had to have been brought up. If she never mentioned how much it upset her, how was the brother to know??
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J R 1 month ago
NAH. Having to witness and help with childbirth is an extremely traumatic thing for a kid to go through, let alone a 7-year-old. Sounds like OP has unresolved trauma, and I don't blame her. But, of course, the brother didn't realize that. To him, it's just a family story about how he came into the world. He has no memories of it and likely can't imagine how it felt. I feel bad for both of them.
Paige Merlin 1 month ago
How in all these decades when it will have been brought up many times has she never told him it was traumatic to her? If she did NTA, if she didn’t YTA but I don’t see how 50+ years could go by without saying it before
Spencers slave no more 1 month ago
I 100% agree with you Paige. Surely, either OP or their mother, could have shared the circumstances of her brother's birth with him and his twin. If it was never talked about, how the he,ll was he to know?
Load More Replies... Emilu 1 month ago
She’s allowed to have unresolved trauma, and she might need therapy or something. But actually wording it as “the day that you were born was the worst day in my life” without clarifying why is why I’m going with YTA. (Unless she did afterwards, in which case I’d change to NAH).
Nikole 1 month ago
Yep. In the ensuing 40 years after the event, it had to have been brought up. If she never mentioned how much it upset her, how was the brother to know??
Load More Replies... J R 1 month ago
NAH. Having to witness and help with childbirth is an extremely traumatic thing for a kid to go through, let alone a 7-year-old. Sounds like OP has unresolved trauma, and I don't blame her. But, of course, the brother didn't realize that. To him, it's just a family story about how he came into the world. He has no memories of it and likely can't imagine how it felt. I feel bad for both of them.
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