Mom Abandons 11 Y.O. After One Tantrum, He Ruins Her Engagement Party 6 Years Later
Family dynamics are as varied and diverse as are relationships in general. While it is impossible to master them, you can definitely still try to at least get good at it.
Still, we have stories like this one surfacing of kids being effectively abandoned because teenagers are a whole ecosystem in and of itself and parents are just done with it.
Parenting is one of those “jobs” that are definitely above the pay grade of… well, any position
Image credits: NomadSoul1 (not the actual photo)
So, when things hit the fan, expect anything. Even if it is abandonment and then inevitably ruining your mom’s engagement party
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)
Image source: UnlikelyAd5151
Because the story is so layered, both sides can be considered at fault and not at all depending on your perspective
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
We’ll let the story speak for itself, but the gist is that parents have a kid, parents divorce, one day the kid has a teenage angst fueled fallout with the mom who takes him to the dad and essentially leaves him there and keeps on living her life as normal.
One day, the mom’s organizing an engagement party with her new hubby and the kid, now 6 years older at 17, confronts her about it all and effectively ruins it.
And this is where commenters start saying “this is above the pay grade of this sub.” The official flair says that OP is not in the wrong, but opinions varied wildly with OP not being a jerk to everyone being one to nobody being at fault.
Needless to say, studies show abandonment and similar issues have a huge impact on children’s development
Image creidts: David Garrison (not the actual photo)
There’s a study that sought to identify whether rejection, abandonment and neglect trigger things like shame and guilt in adolescence. Through a series of tests, the researchers concluded among several things that parental rejection was responsible for greater feelings of guilt, but not shame.
Though, it is important to note that trauma in general was a factor that showed an increase of intensity of shame and guilt. The environment was another crucial factor as to how much of these feelings are there because parents have the power to shape the moral emotions and can actually induce feelings of guilt and shame.
Other implications of abandonment include fear of giving too much in relationships, pushing people away to avoid rejection, people pleasing, feelings of insecurity in intimate relationships, necessity for reassurance, among many others. Mental health professionals like therapists and counselors can help with this.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!
People’s opinions varied wildly, with reasons pointing at nobody being a jerk to everyone being one to particular people being in the wrong
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Adults have feelings, too. I actually feel for the mom here - anything she did was wrong in her son's critical eyes. This woman was trying to pick herself up after a divorce (and her ex doesn't sound like a peach) and likely had a breakdown after her son's vicious outburst. Good for her for picking her life up, hope she never deals with this prick again.
Agreed. She never abandoned him. He wished to live with his dad and his wish was fullfilled. He still spend the weekends with her and by what it sounds, she tried to make it comfortable and fun for him… Only that he was never satisfied with her. When she was a helicoper mom, he hated her. Then she again catered to him and tried to be the „fun“ mom. He wasn‘t satisfied. He never apologized to her, he never asked if he could return back to live with her. Just because you‘re a child, it‘s not like you can treat humans like that.
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Is no one going to talk about the two girls? His issues with his mom are one thing, but you do NOT go and verbally attack two innocent children.
Are you surprised though? He sounds insufferable already. He got what he wanted and decided it was his mom's fault he didn't want it anymore, not that he ever told her so that she could have him back to live with her. He then got upset because she couldn't read his mind so he decided to ruin her engagement party several years after the fact instead of just talking to her like he should have done in the first place.
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What a horrible kid. He said he hated her and wanted to live with his dad - he got what he wanted. Hope she cuts the brat out of her life.
I honestly think that the father is responsible for the sons attitude. The dad says the mother "had it coming after abandoning her child". I see parental alienation quite a lot in my work - and this is what it looks like. One parent works subtlety on reducing the worth and value of the other parent. Over time, the child sees it as their parent (the mother in this case) failing them and the child will choose the other parent. The father (in this case) has then convinced the child that he was "abandoned" and the father's girlfriend helps by saying he was "dumped" on them i.e. unwanted by the father and the girlfriend. I would not at all be surprised here if the OP's feelings of hatred towards his mother and the view that he was abandoned have been carefully crafted and fostered over many years by his father.
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Adults have feelings, too. I actually feel for the mom here - anything she did was wrong in her son's critical eyes. This woman was trying to pick herself up after a divorce (and her ex doesn't sound like a peach) and likely had a breakdown after her son's vicious outburst. Good for her for picking her life up, hope she never deals with this prick again.
Agreed. She never abandoned him. He wished to live with his dad and his wish was fullfilled. He still spend the weekends with her and by what it sounds, she tried to make it comfortable and fun for him… Only that he was never satisfied with her. When she was a helicoper mom, he hated her. Then she again catered to him and tried to be the „fun“ mom. He wasn‘t satisfied. He never apologized to her, he never asked if he could return back to live with her. Just because you‘re a child, it‘s not like you can treat humans like that.
Load More Replies... Is no one going to talk about the two girls? His issues with his mom are one thing, but you do NOT go and verbally attack two innocent children.
Are you surprised though? He sounds insufferable already. He got what he wanted and decided it was his mom's fault he didn't want it anymore, not that he ever told her so that she could have him back to live with her. He then got upset because she couldn't read his mind so he decided to ruin her engagement party several years after the fact instead of just talking to her like he should have done in the first place.
Load More Replies... What a horrible kid. He said he hated her and wanted to live with his dad - he got what he wanted. Hope she cuts the brat out of her life.
I honestly think that the father is responsible for the sons attitude. The dad says the mother "had it coming after abandoning her child". I see parental alienation quite a lot in my work - and this is what it looks like. One parent works subtlety on reducing the worth and value of the other parent. Over time, the child sees it as their parent (the mother in this case) failing them and the child will choose the other parent. The father (in this case) has then convinced the child that he was "abandoned" and the father's girlfriend helps by saying he was "dumped" on them i.e. unwanted by the father and the girlfriend. I would not at all be surprised here if the OP's feelings of hatred towards his mother and the view that he was abandoned have been carefully crafted and fostered over many years by his father.
Load More Replies...
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