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Mom Receives Criticism About The Way She Punished Her Son, So She Explains Her Method

Mom Receives Criticism About The Way She Punished Her Son, So She Explains Her Method

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There’s a saying that goes, “We’re not raising children. We’re raising adults.” So when Tabatha Marie’s child refused to clean up his room, she decided to teach him a lesson. Tabatha trashed his toys.

The mom posted a TikTok, explaining her reasoning behind the decision, and said she is not raising a disrespectful man—it is not mommy’s or a woman’s job; if you make a mess, you have to clean it.

Some parents, however, thought Tabatha’s punishment was too harsh. They started commenting their thoughts under her video, sparking a heated debate on teaching children responsibility.

Tabatha Marie asked her son to clean up his room

But he refused

So she decided to teach the boy a lesson

And trashed his toys

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She explained the reasoning behind her decision in a TikTok

@tabathamarieI hated seeing the look on his face when he seen his room. It hurt me just as much but my babies will not be disrespectful #parenting #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie

Psychologists at Melbourne Child Psychology say that good organization, including tidying, enables better studying, time management, and forms healthy habits for later in life. But parents shouldn’t go overboard: rigid enforcement of cleanliness can become a form of procrastination and distraction, and a source of anxiety.

According to experts, we should not discourage kids from making stuff that involves some messiness. There’s no better time for it than childhood, and it can encourage creativity, problem-solving, and imaginative play.

That being said, controlling your kid’s mess isn’t just about them—it also affects your ability to function and be organized. So it might be a good idea to enforce stricter rules for common areas, rather than in their own rooms.

Making tidying up a daily ritual can really contribute to making long-lasting changes. It doesn’t place excessive importance on cleaning but gets the job done. You can, for example, allow your kids to make a mess, but adopt a five to ten-minute clean-up session at the end of the day.

The key idea is to make it less of a daunting ‘chore’. That way, it is more likely to become a good habit.

However, many people had concerns about this parenting tactic

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But Tabatha doubled down, responding to the negative comments with more videos

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She said the comments didn’t affect her

@tabathamarieYour response to cleaning my sons room out #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie

Just like her decision to take away his toys didn’t affect the bond she has with her son

@tabathamarieStrong, independent, respectful little man #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie

Tabatha provided more information on the situation

@tabathamariePart 556/982727782938 last video on my child cleaning his room #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie

And reaffirmed that she and her son are still best friends

@tabathamarieThank you for your opinion KAREN #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie

Some parents supported her

To learn more about teaching kids to clean up after themselves in general, Bored Panda talked to Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum

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Image credits: Duncan Cuthbertson

Vicki Broadbent, the founder of the parenting blog Honest Mum, and author of Mumboss: The Honest Mum’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work, said that it doesn’t take long to establish good habits. “Within days, lives can be transformed with a stricter daily routine. It is not a parent’s job to do everything for their child and even young children can help with chores, like tidying away toys,” Vicki told Bored Panda.

“Involving children in shopping and cooking too can help with meal times (they will demonstrate more interest, eat and clean better) and they will relish the greater responsibility and shared family activities.”

Just like the afore-mentioned psychologists, Vicki’s family recognizes the benefits of routine. The gang has a chore list in the kitchen and since everyone has stuck to it for a while now, the children know exactly what they need to do each day.

“They make their bed, change into their clothes/school uniform, and then make their breakfast, cleaning up after themselves,” she said. “I tend to make the packed lunches but they also help with that, if time is on their side. We actually started waking up early so as not to feel so rushed and stressed in the morning and both of my boys have loved more time before school starts. It means they can also watch some TV and organize their bags, not forgetting things in a panic.”

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ayrincharles avatar
AyrinCharles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf????? This is not how you "teach your son a lesson", this is how you make a child sad and stressed out! He is 2, he doesn't understand gender bias, he barely understands his own little world and you're treating him like a teenage boy! Absolutely horrible parenting, I feel bad for the poor kid. If you treat him like this when he's 2,i can only imagine the horrible "lessons" he'll receive as he grows older. This is how anxious kids are raised, kids who fear their parents and want to move out of the house as soon as possible.

veni_vidi_vicky avatar
james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think for a two year old it is harsh. If the child was older then fair enough, but not 2.

thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also think that these toys are too large to make a 2yo put them all away by himself and he won't even know what to do. At this age teaching him to put away small things in a basket is enough. But what this mom wants is more appropriate for a child aged 4+.

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adinadrumea88 avatar
Flopsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is like that mother who let her 5 yo go without food all day because she forgot to pack her own lunch. I am all for treating kids with respect and as equals, but we have to be aware of their cognitive development limitations. Also, bringing this 'treat women well' argument with a small child is uncalled for. It is not because you are a woman that he didn't clean his room, it's because a 2 yo has other priorities and gets distracted.

coreypichler avatar
CP
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes you should treat them with respect but you are not equals yet for the reason right after the "but" in that sentence.

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ayrincharles avatar
AyrinCharles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf????? This is not how you "teach your son a lesson", this is how you make a child sad and stressed out! He is 2, he doesn't understand gender bias, he barely understands his own little world and you're treating him like a teenage boy! Absolutely horrible parenting, I feel bad for the poor kid. If you treat him like this when he's 2,i can only imagine the horrible "lessons" he'll receive as he grows older. This is how anxious kids are raised, kids who fear their parents and want to move out of the house as soon as possible.

veni_vidi_vicky avatar
james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think for a two year old it is harsh. If the child was older then fair enough, but not 2.

thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also think that these toys are too large to make a 2yo put them all away by himself and he won't even know what to do. At this age teaching him to put away small things in a basket is enough. But what this mom wants is more appropriate for a child aged 4+.

Load More Replies...
adinadrumea88 avatar
Flopsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is like that mother who let her 5 yo go without food all day because she forgot to pack her own lunch. I am all for treating kids with respect and as equals, but we have to be aware of their cognitive development limitations. Also, bringing this 'treat women well' argument with a small child is uncalled for. It is not because you are a woman that he didn't clean his room, it's because a 2 yo has other priorities and gets distracted.

coreypichler avatar
CP
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes you should treat them with respect but you are not equals yet for the reason right after the "but" in that sentence.

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