Woman Divorces Her Husband Because He Suddenly Has A Child, Gets Called The Jerk
Family matters are always difficult. Where the destinies and desires of at least two people are intertwined, some problem can arise at any time. And when there are three of these people, and one of them is a child, it becomes even more difficult.
In fact, any position is worthy of respect – both childfree and those who can not imagine a family without kids. But, unfortunately, life sometimes presents such plot twists when a person faces a choice – and this is incredibly hard.
For example, the sister of the author of this post in the AITA Reddit community faced such a problem. The post gained over 7.1K upvotes and almost 3K different comments. The Original Poster wanted to know if she did the right thing in an argument with her sister – and this is how everything happened.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster’s sister and her husband decided to stay childfree
Image source: Virginia State Parks (not the actual photo)
The OP’s sister is 30 years old and she has been married for several years. She and her husband love each other, both have good jobs, live in a nice house and travel a lot. Right before the wedding, both decided that they would be childfree, and did not change this rule. But life, as it often happens, has made its own adjustments…
Image source: Pomelo_764
It suddenly turned out that the husband, in fact, has a son from one of his former casual acquaintances
About a year ago, it turned out that the husband has a son. By the way, the man himself had no idea about this either. It turned out that about six years earlier, one of his casual acquaintances had become pregnant, but decided not to tell him about the child. The woman raised her son herself; however, unfortunately, she passed away, and her mother had health problems so she couldn’t take custody.
Image source: Pomelo_764
As a result, the boy went to live with his father and his wife. The OP admits that the child is just amazing, and everyone in their family loves him. However, about a month ago, like a bolt from the blue, the OP’s sister announced that she was going to file for divorce.
Image source: Pomelo_764
One day the woman announced that she is fed up being a stepmom and is filing for divorce
It turned out that a year as a stepmother was a real torment for the woman. She didn’t feel ready for this, not for not being able to watch adult shows anytime now, not for helping her stepson with his homework. According to the woman’s own words, she still loves her husband, but does not want to live like this anymore.
Everyone was shocked – the husband, relatives and, of course, the kid. Moreover, the woman, upon leaving, also took her dog, which the boy loved very much. The OP herself admits that she has her own children, so she felt very sorry for the boy. As a result, during one family meeting, the OP could not help but talk to her sister.
Image source: Doug Clow (not the actual photo)
The OP talked to her sister and told her that in her own opinion, she made the wrong choice
According to the OP, she said that her sister was making a mistake, and she could still try to improve relations in her family. Unfortunately, as she admits, the sister took it as criticism, and has since refused to communicate with her. Relatives basically took the OP’s side, and their mother was extremely upset – both from the current situation and from the quarrel between her daughters.
People in the comments supported the OP’s sister almost unanimously
We also must say that the vast majority of people in the comments supported the OP’s sister, claiming that the woman had no right to interfere in someone else’s life at all. If the OP’s sister has previously made a decision for herself to remain childfree, then her decision must be respected. Period.
Many commenters noted that the wife made a very difficult decision for herself – after all, she, in fact, sacrificed her love for the well-being of the boy. Actually, it is far from certain that he will grow up well next to a person who doesn’t want to be a stepmother at all. And that, perhaps, the father will be able to find a woman in the future who will just want to become a good stepmother for his son.
A very ambiguous story, isn’t it? Therefore, we would like to know your opinion on this matter. Any comments, as always, would be welcome.
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That is a very unfortunate sad and very complicated situation. My husband and I are childfree (we are in out late 30s) that was the deal before we even got engaged. I think people have no right to call that her selfish, it is her life and if she wants to spend it childfree-people should respect her choice. She gave motherhood a fair try and she hated it. She did everyone a favor in my opinion, she would hardly make a decent mother and that little boy deserves someone who will love him and give him a very happy childhood.
Yep, seems pretty much everyone agrees. If it was her child, then she has a responsibility. Otherwise, her only responsibility is to make her own life as happy as she can and do what's necessary to achieve that. We get one go at this life.
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Being a step parent is hard enough when it's a choice. She wasn't even given a choice.
and then her sister comes and reads her the riot act, based on her own values and opinions. And sis makes it into a family thing where people takes sides. What a mess. While all it needs is kindness and love and supporting everybody who goed through this painful proces: her, the kid, the husband, maybe even the dog. It's just a very unfortunate situation where people have to be true to themselves.
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Every child deserves to feel wanted and loved. I suffered emotional neglect growing up, because my bio father had no paternal interest in me (but loved his 2 daughters with his 2nd wife); my mother pretty much ignored me in favour of my 2 half brothers she had with my stepfather - who was an abusive asshat towards me. Scarred me forever, and shaped all my relationships.
I feel you in a similar manner. I’m adopted but was only adopted because my mother wanted a sibling for her daughter (their biological child) and she chose ME because she wanted a blue-eyed, blond-haired daughter (she’s Hispanic so she’d never have one biologically). When my mother realized I was not a perfect malleable blob she could make into a frilly-girly perfect daughter (circa age 6) she began to neglect, resent, and abuse me (physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally). But her daughter is just like her so she was the perfect child and always got all the attention. My father was amazing and he loved me for me, but he was not a strong person, and my mother abused him too (in all ways), so he never stood up to her to stop her abuse of me OR him. So I feel the “favored child” and “parent doesn’t give a shít” feels. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope you’re feeling at least somewhat better these days.. and I’ll be your stand-in sister to replace your half-siblings! :)
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That is a very unfortunate sad and very complicated situation. My husband and I are childfree (we are in out late 30s) that was the deal before we even got engaged. I think people have no right to call that her selfish, it is her life and if she wants to spend it childfree-people should respect her choice. She gave motherhood a fair try and she hated it. She did everyone a favor in my opinion, she would hardly make a decent mother and that little boy deserves someone who will love him and give him a very happy childhood.
Yep, seems pretty much everyone agrees. If it was her child, then she has a responsibility. Otherwise, her only responsibility is to make her own life as happy as she can and do what's necessary to achieve that. We get one go at this life.
Load More Replies... Being a step parent is hard enough when it's a choice. She wasn't even given a choice.
and then her sister comes and reads her the riot act, based on her own values and opinions. And sis makes it into a family thing where people takes sides. What a mess. While all it needs is kindness and love and supporting everybody who goed through this painful proces: her, the kid, the husband, maybe even the dog. It's just a very unfortunate situation where people have to be true to themselves.
Load More Replies... Every child deserves to feel wanted and loved. I suffered emotional neglect growing up, because my bio father had no paternal interest in me (but loved his 2 daughters with his 2nd wife); my mother pretty much ignored me in favour of my 2 half brothers she had with my stepfather - who was an abusive asshat towards me. Scarred me forever, and shaped all my relationships.
I feel you in a similar manner. I’m adopted but was only adopted because my mother wanted a sibling for her daughter (their biological child) and she chose ME because she wanted a blue-eyed, blond-haired daughter (she’s Hispanic so she’d never have one biologically). When my mother realized I was not a perfect malleable blob she could make into a frilly-girly perfect daughter (circa age 6) she began to neglect, resent, and abuse me (physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally). But her daughter is just like her so she was the perfect child and always got all the attention. My father was amazing and he loved me for me, but he was not a strong person, and my mother abused him too (in all ways), so he never stood up to her to stop her abuse of me OR him. So I feel the “favored child” and “parent doesn’t give a shít” feels. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope you’re feeling at least somewhat better these days.. and I’ll be your stand-in sister to replace your half-siblings! :)
Load More Replies...
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