Teen Is Shocked At Sister’s Audacity For Asking Her To Wear A Wig At Her Wedding
Interview With Expert
Accepting ourselves just as we are is a tough thing. We always tend to find any small imperfections that we want to change, improve or hide. We compare ourselves with others, worry about their opinions and put so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Well, sometimes things happen, our appearance changes unexpectedly and it takes an even longer period of time to accept ourselves.
One Reddit user recently posted her story, telling folks online that 7 years ago, she lost all her hair and would constantly wear wigs. Recently she finally stopped wearing them, but was told to put one on for her sister’s wedding, which caused drama for the whole family.
More info: Reddit
Losing hair may be hard psychologically, thus support from our loved ones is crucial
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
Teen shares that when she was 10 years old, she lost all her hair; it bothered her a lot, so she constantly used to wear wigs to hide it
Image credits: J Ade (not the actual photo)
Luckily, recently she finally accepted herself and stopped wearing wigs in general, but her older sister insisted that she wear one for her wedding
Image credits: Marcel Strauß (not the actual photo)
The teen refused to do so, which caused an argument as her sister said it’s a small thing to do for her wedding day, and their parents are on the older sister’s side
Image credits: u/Background_Boat_4498
She notes that she feels like they’re trying to hide that she’s bald despite everyone knowing it
A few days ago, a Reddit user shared her story online, asking community members if she was being a jerk for refusing to wear a wig to her sister’s wedding despite both her sister and parents asking her to. The post caught a lot of attention and collected 5.5K upvotes and 1.3K comments.
The original poster (OP) starts her story by opening up that when she was 10 years old (7 years ago), she lost all her hair and has been bald since. As probably all of us can imagine, she notes that at first it bothered her a lot and she used to always wear wigs to hide it. However, recently, she finally accepted herself and stopped wearing them completely.
Now, her older sister is getting married and asked her to wear a wig to the wedding. She refused to do it, but her sister and parents still tried to convince her that it’s just a little thing to do. OP adds that she feels like they are trying to hide that she’s bald, despite everybody knowing it and having seen her without a wig.
Community members backed up the teen and gave her the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge, stating that the most important are people’s personalities, not how they look or their ‘aesthetics’. “It treats people like props for a photo shoot and not family or friends,” one user wrote. “Your sister evidently doesn’t care about your comfort and yet again it’s all about the photos and wedding aesthetic. I’m glad you no longer feel conscious to the point you feel you need to wear a wig,” another added.
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
“We are all desirous of others’ positive thoughts, and others’ negative responses can hurt our feelings and enhance our own negative thoughts and feelings,” F. Diane Barth, who is a psychotherapist, psychoanalyst and blogger, told Bored Panda. “But if we are secure in ourselves, often with the support of others, then we are less distressed by the negativity of others.”
She also added that for many of us, it’s not just the impact of others, but also the impact of what we think others might be thinking. “I know of a number of instances where someone convinced themselves that another person disapproved of them, but later found out that the other person did not have any such thoughts or feelings. It turned out in these cases that the critical thoughts were coming from inside the person themselves.”
Speaking about common challenges that people face in the process of learning to accept themselves, Diane points out that when we internalize the beliefs communicated by others, or when those beliefs fit with what we already believe, it can be hard to accept ourselves for who we are.
“Finding people who give you genuinely positive feedback, and finding ways to appreciate yourself whether or not you fit the image conveyed by the media or demanded by your parents or loved ones is not always easy; but it can make a world of difference in how you feel about yourself,” she emphasized.
Now, Diane shares that helping a child develop self-confidence is important and not always easy. Reinforcing a child’s positive qualities and acknowledging the difficulties of the ones they don’t like while not agreeing with the criticism is very important.
In the case of the OP, who is finally making peace with her baldness, the expert emphasizes that her desire to be who she is without hiding is admirable. “How wonderful that she has been able to achieve that level of self-confidence. Perhaps she is still a little vulnerable about it, and perhaps she would like her sister’s positive reinforcement.”
“Maybe this young woman and her sister are both worried about the same thing—standing up for themselves in the face of other people’s opinions! An honest conversation, where they both listen and share, might lead to a meaningful resolution of the problem.”
And what are your takes on this story? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Redditors stood on the author’s side and shamed her sister
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
You May Also Like
Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk
Do you think childless individuals should be expected to chip in for group babysitting costs during friend gatherings?
“They Saw The Blood Leave My Body”: Woman Refuses To Tip 10% At Bridal Store
How do you feel about the practice of tipping at a bridal store?
17 Y.O. Is Done Sharing Her Birthday With Her Late Twin, Parents Are Not Having It
Do you think the girl should be allowed to celebrate her birthday without the remembrance of her deceased twin?
The OP should wear a wig. 100%. The cheapest, shittest wig imaginable. And the most ludicrous wig imaginable. And the most outrageous wig imaginable. She should buy a dozen, from thrift stores and fancy dress outlets. She should vary which one she wears throughout the day, and carry a massive bag all day long so that she is visibly carrying them all. And she should vary which wig she is wearing in all the photos. If asked, she should explain kindly that her sister and parents are ashamed of her for being bald and have insisted she wear a wig today.
I'm really over brides who treat their weddings as a performance rather than a gathering of those they love to celebrate with them.
Totally with you there. Too much focus on the day, not enough focus on the marriage. No wonder so many people get divorced.
Load More Replies...
The best man at our wedding was 27 and bald from cancer treatments. Couldn't have cared less. My mom was worried though...we had an outdoor wedding and she was afraid he would get burned. We got him a wonderful hat with the option to wear it outdoors if he wanted, or not at all - whatever HE felt comfortable with. He was bald during the ceremony and photos, wore it later during the reception. He died 4 months later, and I am so grateful for the photos of him as his true, comfortable, happy self.
I am so truly sorry you lost him. I am glad he had people like you, who loved him sick or well. 🫂💔
Load More Replies... I don't understand why it is more important to the sister that the people at her wedding look nice (for pictures) than to have the guests feel comfortable and happy. The smiles will always be prettiest (on pics) when the guests are comfortable and happy. Always.
Who says OP doesn’t look “nice” without a wig? She probably looks just fine.
Load More Replies...
Nta, but your parents are more of an AH then even the bride, I understand the bride wanting her wedding the way she wants it, but the parents should have stayed out of it.. clearly they support one sister over the other... Don't wear a wig, and maybe don't even go if they can't accept you the way you are.. also, if any men are bald, straight up ask your family, in front of everyone, if they will be wearing wigs/toupee or getting hair plugs. This sounds sexist to say the least..
NTA. In OP'S shoes, I wouldn't even bother to show up. When anyone asks, I would tell them exactly why. Wouldn't care if the princess and the parents got offended; they could go suck eggs. If alopecia runs in the family, it would be interesting to see the all-around reactions to sister losing HER hair. If she and her parents were any more shallow, they could pass as paper plates.
I love that the young woman has come to terms with her appearance at such a tender age. And hate the others for their body-shaming her.
OP doesn't need a replacement for the hair she's lost. She needs a replacement for the sister she's lost.
My wedding was smart/casual, no ties, whatever you feel comfortable in and the only thing we asked our guests to bring and wear were smiles. We only had 22 guests, just our closest family and friends. We love them as they are, not how they would look in a forced wedding outfit, hairdo or make up. Funnily enough they looked bloody awesome.
I'm so happy for her being comfortable with no hair, I'm betting that was quite a journey. I'm a bit sad that the mother is supporting the bride though
Nothing like a Bridezilla to bring everyone around them down. If OP was in a wheelchair, would her sister want her to hover on her feet with a drone or 2? That's absolute bullshite.
It's not your day. Show some love and for an hour or two, you are NOT the focus of this wedding. The day will pass, but a photo of someone stealing the attention from the bride will last forever. Did this for my sis and tho' the marriage didn't last, the pics were of HER! It was HER time. Consider that some day in the future she won't be the scene-stealer in your photos.
You need help if you think someone not putting on a wig is "scene stealing." It's not like everyone doesn't already KNOW they dont have hair. Arguably they'd TAKE attention away if they wore a wig. "You haven't worn a wig in months why did you start wearing one?" "My sister said I had to." If she had been wearing it all this time and suddenly said on this day shes not going to wear one, that's different. But that's clearly stated to not be the case.
Load More Replies... 
The OP should wear a wig. 100%. The cheapest, shittest wig imaginable. And the most ludicrous wig imaginable. And the most outrageous wig imaginable. She should buy a dozen, from thrift stores and fancy dress outlets. She should vary which one she wears throughout the day, and carry a massive bag all day long so that she is visibly carrying them all. And she should vary which wig she is wearing in all the photos. If asked, she should explain kindly that her sister and parents are ashamed of her for being bald and have insisted she wear a wig today.
I'm really over brides who treat their weddings as a performance rather than a gathering of those they love to celebrate with them.
Totally with you there. Too much focus on the day, not enough focus on the marriage. No wonder so many people get divorced.
Load More Replies... The best man at our wedding was 27 and bald from cancer treatments. Couldn't have cared less. My mom was worried though...we had an outdoor wedding and she was afraid he would get burned. We got him a wonderful hat with the option to wear it outdoors if he wanted, or not at all - whatever HE felt comfortable with. He was bald during the ceremony and photos, wore it later during the reception. He died 4 months later, and I am so grateful for the photos of him as his true, comfortable, happy self.
I am so truly sorry you lost him. I am glad he had people like you, who loved him sick or well. 🫂💔
Load More Replies... I don't understand why it is more important to the sister that the people at her wedding look nice (for pictures) than to have the guests feel comfortable and happy. The smiles will always be prettiest (on pics) when the guests are comfortable and happy. Always.
Who says OP doesn’t look “nice” without a wig? She probably looks just fine.
Load More Replies... Nta, but your parents are more of an AH then even the bride, I understand the bride wanting her wedding the way she wants it, but the parents should have stayed out of it.. clearly they support one sister over the other... Don't wear a wig, and maybe don't even go if they can't accept you the way you are.. also, if any men are bald, straight up ask your family, in front of everyone, if they will be wearing wigs/toupee or getting hair plugs. This sounds sexist to say the least..
NTA. In OP'S shoes, I wouldn't even bother to show up. When anyone asks, I would tell them exactly why. Wouldn't care if the princess and the parents got offended; they could go suck eggs. If alopecia runs in the family, it would be interesting to see the all-around reactions to sister losing HER hair. If she and her parents were any more shallow, they could pass as paper plates.
I love that the young woman has come to terms with her appearance at such a tender age. And hate the others for their body-shaming her.
OP doesn't need a replacement for the hair she's lost. She needs a replacement for the sister she's lost.
My wedding was smart/casual, no ties, whatever you feel comfortable in and the only thing we asked our guests to bring and wear were smiles. We only had 22 guests, just our closest family and friends. We love them as they are, not how they would look in a forced wedding outfit, hairdo or make up. Funnily enough they looked bloody awesome.
I'm so happy for her being comfortable with no hair, I'm betting that was quite a journey. I'm a bit sad that the mother is supporting the bride though
Nothing like a Bridezilla to bring everyone around them down. If OP was in a wheelchair, would her sister want her to hover on her feet with a drone or 2? That's absolute bullshite.
It's not your day. Show some love and for an hour or two, you are NOT the focus of this wedding. The day will pass, but a photo of someone stealing the attention from the bride will last forever. Did this for my sis and tho' the marriage didn't last, the pics were of HER! It was HER time. Consider that some day in the future she won't be the scene-stealer in your photos.
You need help if you think someone not putting on a wig is "scene stealing." It's not like everyone doesn't already KNOW they dont have hair. Arguably they'd TAKE attention away if they wore a wig. "You haven't worn a wig in months why did you start wearing one?" "My sister said I had to." If she had been wearing it all this time and suddenly said on this day shes not going to wear one, that's different. But that's clearly stated to not be the case.
Load More Replies... 
58
34