Family Screams At Woman After She Refuses To Be Her Spoiled Sister’s Surrogate

Even if you were perfectly healthy and popped out babies like a pez dispenser, being a surrogate for your sister is a bad idea. These people are toxic, get as far away from them as possible.

A measly card, to announce that she is their surrogate? They should have at least given her a nice gift bag with a red dress and white bonnet. And an ID changing her name to "OfBrother-in-law's-name."

Should've handed the card to OP's mother and say "I think this is meant for you"

this poor woman. How damaged must part of her be to even think she might be an a$$hole here. So not the AH

OP needs to reframe this entire story as "my family who treated me like dirt my entire life, want me to potentially die to give my sister a child. They would prefer my sister has a child and my son has no Mother". Or she should just ask them, in those words - "so you're happy for me to die, and your only grandchild to lose his parent in order for sister to get a baby, rather than adopt for example?". Also, I highly doubt any medical professional would allow insemination to go ahead, as she'd fail all the checks. Unless they expect her to sleep with her BIL... so many wrongs.

Put aside the toxic "family" of black sheep and golden child, and put aside the OP's past medical issues during childbirth. This is STILL out of line. NOBODY has the "right" to rape her body and force her to give birth for someone else. They can adopt a kid if they want one, not the family rape and force her to give birth unwillingly. She should cut off all contact and file a restraining order against them.

How on earth can any reasonable human think that they would be the AH in this situation?!?!?

OP, protect your own child. He's at risk of being kidnapped by your 'family'. Be careful.

Hypothetically, if there were someone whose doctor told them a miracle happened and they can have painless, risk free pregnancy and childbirth unlike any other human, it would still be too much to expect them to be a surrogate.

justifiable homicide

no doctor would approve her for surrogacy. id honestly be petty AF and schedule the appointment, make them pay for the eval, and then rub it in their faces that OP isnt a candidate for surrogacy.

Why do you even have any contact with these pricks?

OP's sister has a lot of ego if she thinks someone she mistreated that badly would risk their life for her. She and the parents deserve to be humbled and publicly shamed!

Next time the subject is raised simply say no. Change the subject. If they persist, say that the answer has not changed. Try again. Say no. Don't get into discussion. No is all you need.

I'm confused by the part of the comment mtndewbakablast made saying that OP should say to her sister "Seriously, your husband wants to cheat on you with me". I'm not super informed about surrogacy but I have seen the movie Baby Mama and when Dax Sheppard's character tells Tina Fey's character (Dax's character is the boyfriend of Amy Pohler's character, who is Tina's surrogate "My wife is gonna have sex with somebody else's husband to do this?". He misunderstood. I don't think surrogacy necessarily always involves cheating on your partner. Or even that often.

Absolutely NTA. OP doesn't owe them her medical explanations either. I hope she's able to successfully go no contact ASAP.

NTA. Your family is the worst I've seen in a long time. You need to go straight-up NC with these characters. You have nothing to justify to them; you owe them nothing, save a 2×4 upside their heads. Cut them off NOW; you have the life you deserve and don't need it contaminated by them.

I agree with the comment that they could try to steal OP’s son. She needs to try and get restraining orders against her parents and sister

What a shame you moved your whole life back near your insane and toxic “family” - you sound like you had it made living in another state. I would have arranged frequent visits but NEVER have moved back. I think you should get out from under ASAP before you, your child and husband are irreparably damaged by your unhinged and crazily demanding relatives.