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16YO Is Sick Of Living With Mentally Disabled Violent Sis, Tells Parents She Will Run Away
Teen girl feeling trapped and sad, leaning against brick wall on stairs, reflecting on family and mental health struggles.

16YO Is Sick Of Living With Mentally Disabled Violent Sis, Tells Parents She Will Run Away

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In “Rain Man,” perhaps one of the most poignant and touching movies ever made, parents make the incredibly difficult decision to send their older, mentally disabled son to a specialized mental institution in order to give their youngest son a chance to live a normal life.

Perhaps this is precisely the resolve lacking in the parents of the user u/Jessiieyy, our narrator today. For years, they have prioritized their eldest, mentally handicapped daughter over the younger one – and now they have to face a difficult dilemma. However, let’s not get ahead of ourselves and just turn to reading.

More info: Reddit

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    Things aren’t easy when your sibling is overly aggressive, and everything is even worse in case your parents treat you poorly in favor of them

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The author of the post has an elder sister, who is mentally disabled and is prone to violence outbursts

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    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Our heroine, alas, is the typical victim to these outbursts, and she really believes her entire life is going awry over her sister

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    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    For instance, no one of her friends ever came over to her because of aggressive sis, and the parents even coax her to tell lies to doctors when the sister harms her

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    So recently the teen confronted her parents willing them to send the sis to mental institution and threatened to leave home because of her

    So, the Original poster (OP) explains that she’s 16 years old, has a mentally handicapped sister a year older than her, and that because of this sis, almost her entire life, literally from birth, has been a true nightmare. The problem is that her sister often has unprovoked outbursts of aggression, and the author often becomes the victim of these outbursts.

    Furthermore, because of her sister, our heroine often had to miss holidays and parties of her friends and classmates (her parents simply stayed home with the eldest one and wouldn’t let her go alone). Guests also never came to their home, because their parents were understandably afraid that their kids might accidentally get hurt.

    As we’ve already mentioned, the sister has repeatedly attacked the OP, and most recently, she even pulled out a whole clump of her hair, leaving her with a scalp issue. The parents not only failed to provide her with timely help, but also demanded that she lie to the doctors about the cause of the injury, so that their eldest child wouldn’t be taken away for specialized treatment.

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    But the author honestly admits that she’d like her sis to be taken away somewhere. Simply because she feels unsafe around her, and that her entire life is getting wasted over her too. The girl recently told the parents she wanted to run away from home and clearly confronted them for always prioritizing her sis. However, this argument had no effect, so the author decided to seek support online.

    Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Research suggests that outbursts of unmotivated aggression are quite common among mentally handicapped adolescents and adults. For example, this dedicated article claims that challenging behavior occurs in approximately 10% of adults with intellectual disabilities, and even tends to persist over time, with a rate of around 25% at two years.

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    In such cases, medical professionals do recommend specialized treatment – as, for example, the authors of this study, published in 2022 at the National Library of Medicine. Of course, the success of such treatment may vary, but turning a blind eye to the problem is definitely not advisable.

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    Well, this is essentially what the parents of the original poster are doing, prioritizing one of their children over another. Ultimately, neither girl is to blame for the current situation, so responsibility lies largely with their mother and father. Incidentally, this is precisely what many commenters on the original post noted.

    According to the commenters, this cannot go on, and the author should draw others’ attention here. Get the police involved, report it to school counselors, or at least call the CPS herself – any of these actions could actually help. The readers also believe that moving out would be reasonable too – simply from the standpoint of our heroine’s safety.

    “Even if//when your sister gets sent away for help, your parents will take it out on you. That house isn’t safe either way,” one of the responders noted rather wisely. So, what’s your opinion on this case, our dear readers? Please feel free to express your thoughts in the comments below the post.

    Most commenters gave the 16YO their support, even urging her to move from family home to some relatives as well

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    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Read less »
    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    What do you think ?
    Tyke
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is BP doctoring these posts? She didn't say "I don't care if she leaves us" she said "I don't care if she dìes". This is a site for adults, the censoring is fúcking ridiculous

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The censoring has nothing to do with the audience.

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with the "Call the cops yourself the next time she physically assaults you" comments. The authorities need to see what's happening + OP needs to start getting proof of what's happening. Hopefully, that will make a diference when OP tries to get emancipated, live with someone else, etc., and not be stuck at parents' house if sis gets sent to a care facility.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Suspicious, but In case this is real or someone is in a similar situation: Write up an account of what has been going on and cast a wide net. Send it to CPS, the school guidance counselor, your GP if you have one, contact Planned Parenthood if you live near one they are brilliant in helping support victims of a***e and connecting people with the right support Medical professionals, teachers and social workers are all mandated reporters so they are legally required to follow up but if there's a bad actor, a wide net will ensure the issue is escalated and social work will look into it. But, at 16, start making exit plans. Look into boarding schools, research becoming an emancipated minor and accessing government support. Prioritise getting a job and taking your GED. Get out of the house and you can return to education later when you're safe. It's amazing how much easier learning is when you're confident of your safety.

    Roni Stone
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What brought red flags and suspicions for me was the OP justifying why she doesn't call police or cps or even consider legal emancipation. No, the parents do *not* have to agree to let OP go if the house is deemed too dangerous because of the other daughter. Doctor records, school records can substantiate injuries/timelines, etc. It isn't easy, but it will never happen if OP doesn't begin self-advocating or find someone who will strongly advocate for her. Her parents certainly aren't going to do that for her. I don't mean that to sound like victim blaming, but at this point OP is about the only one who can take the self-advocacy bull by the horns.

    Load More Replies...
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    Tyke
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is BP doctoring these posts? She didn't say "I don't care if she leaves us" she said "I don't care if she dìes". This is a site for adults, the censoring is fúcking ridiculous

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The censoring has nothing to do with the audience.

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with the "Call the cops yourself the next time she physically assaults you" comments. The authorities need to see what's happening + OP needs to start getting proof of what's happening. Hopefully, that will make a diference when OP tries to get emancipated, live with someone else, etc., and not be stuck at parents' house if sis gets sent to a care facility.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Suspicious, but In case this is real or someone is in a similar situation: Write up an account of what has been going on and cast a wide net. Send it to CPS, the school guidance counselor, your GP if you have one, contact Planned Parenthood if you live near one they are brilliant in helping support victims of a***e and connecting people with the right support Medical professionals, teachers and social workers are all mandated reporters so they are legally required to follow up but if there's a bad actor, a wide net will ensure the issue is escalated and social work will look into it. But, at 16, start making exit plans. Look into boarding schools, research becoming an emancipated minor and accessing government support. Prioritise getting a job and taking your GED. Get out of the house and you can return to education later when you're safe. It's amazing how much easier learning is when you're confident of your safety.

    Roni Stone
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What brought red flags and suspicions for me was the OP justifying why she doesn't call police or cps or even consider legal emancipation. No, the parents do *not* have to agree to let OP go if the house is deemed too dangerous because of the other daughter. Doctor records, school records can substantiate injuries/timelines, etc. It isn't easy, but it will never happen if OP doesn't begin self-advocating or find someone who will strongly advocate for her. Her parents certainly aren't going to do that for her. I don't mean that to sound like victim blaming, but at this point OP is about the only one who can take the self-advocacy bull by the horns.

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