Mom And Sister Outraged When This Woman Refuses To Change Bikinis As Pregnant Sister Got Suddenly Jealous
In the Middle Ages, many scientists were sure that mice and cockroaches spontaneously arose from dust and dirt. Today, about the same can be said about family drama – they really arise out of the blue, literally from nothing. Perhaps the medieval philosophers were not so wrong after all?
And, of course, the main reason for much family drama is jealousy. William Shakespeare once called it “the green-eyed monster.” We’re not sure about the eye color, but there’s no doubt that jealousy is really a monster. Just moments ago they were relatives with a wonderful relationship – and a quarrel happened for a few minutes, and now they are already enemies.
Here’s more proof – this very story, which has already gained more than 6.5K upvotes and over 500 various comments in the AITA Reddit community. Something classic – a family drama ensued between two sisters, and the reason, of course, was jealousy. So let’s go ahead together.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster and her relatives usually gather for pool parties at their grandparents’ house
Image credits: Miguel Discart ( not the actual image)
The Original Poster admits that her family doesn’t live in the US and it’s very hot right now, so all the relatives like to gather at their grandparents’ house, where there is a large pool, which is so nice to swim in during hot weather. All the younger generations have to do is to cook some food, buy snacks, prepare everything, and then clean up.
Image credits: u/TheoryNo96
The OP’s sister married one of her exes two years ago and now is 26 weeks pregnant
This story happened on one of those days when a large group of relatives were relaxing near the pool. According to the OP, her sister married one of her exes (let’s call him Mike) two years ago. We must say that the OP was somewhat uncomfortable with this news, but in the end, nothing terrible happened, and by the time of the events described, her sister was already 26 weeks pregnant.
Image credits: u/TheoryNo96
The sister asked the OP to change her bikini as she thought the OP was trying to attract her husband’s attention
At one point, says the OP, her sister approached her and asked her to change the bikini she was wearing under a sheer dress. The woman stated that the OP was trying to get Mike’s attention, and of course she didn’t like it at all.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual image)
Certainly, says the OP, she didn’t have anything like that in her thoughts – especially since she and Mike didn’t communicate much all day, and even at that moment, he was playing with one of her cousins and wasn’t paying any attention to her. But the sister was already unstoppable… The OP told her not to worry, but thereby angered her even more.
Image credits: u/TheoryNo96
The sisters gradually got into an argument and then the grandpa got in the middle and told them to stop
Word for word, reproach after reproach – and a real quarrel broke out. The sister accused the OP of flirting with her husband, and she, in turn, stated that this should have been thought about before starting to date her ex. The sisters were separated only by the grandpa, who basically took the OP’s side.
Image credits: David Burn (not the actual image)
The older gentleman demanded that the OP apologize for the attack on her sister, but also agreed that the OP should not change clothes. True, after a while, the mother of both women approached the OP with another bikini and asked her to change into it.
Image credits: u/TheoryNo96
The OP was really fed up with this situation and finally decided to go home
In response, the woman just said that she’d had enough and she was going home. The grandpa was indignant and scolded his daughter and granddaughter for turning his house into a “hostile environment”. True, now the OP is upset that her mother and sister are mad with her.
Most of the commenters thought that the OP did everything right and her grandpa’s assessment was 100% accurate
On the other hand, people in the comments were massively supportive of the OP and her grandfather, as the OP’s sister’s self-doubt is not really her problem. According to the commenters, the OP did nothing wrong – she actually wore a bikini to the pool party, and her refusal to change clothes was absolutely justified. Many commenters said that they would do the same.
Another part of the commenters believe that the OP’s sister simply does not fully trust her own husband and feels insecure about her own body due to the pregnancy. In any case, according to the people, if your partner looking at another person gives you a problem, then you are the problem.
By the way, family drama between sisters does happen quite often, and this story of how one sister even had to elope a week earlier to avoid her future BIL stealing her wedding day is more proof of this. If you have something to say about this very take, be sure to write it in the comments.
It's never a woman's job to keep a man from looking. It's that kind of attitude that forces women to cover up from head to toe in some parts and otherwise marginalized them.
I couldn't agree more. I can't stand the whole mentality of blaming the women for anybody else's inability to not control their eyes... Plus I'm saddened when someone else feels threatened by their partner's wandering eyes, be it actual or in their own minds.
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Can we please stop sexualizing people for wearing whatever it is they wear? It's like telling your daughter to go put on pants because uncle Charlie is coming over. Nope! Or thinking a woman should wear a bra for whatever reason. You're sexualizing someone for absolutely no reason and that's not okay.
If I was OP I'd change. To an even more open bikini... F*ck her mom, her sister and ex (If he was looking)
I get that she is a bit insecure with her changing body, but that is not the OPs problem. As far as I read it's not the husband staring either (if it were, her problem would be with HIM, not the sister), it is all in her head. She needs to work on that and not expect everyone to accomodate her.
I had a coworker years ago who boasted about luring her boyfriend (later husband) away from his girlfriend of the time. She was furious and really jealous when they met up with her a few years later and her husband and the ex started chatting and catching up. I guess it finally dawned on her that if he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you.
Hormones are doing crazy things to pregnant women, however, her mother should have already told her to drop the topic instead of enabling her even further. Thank God grandpa is the voice of reason! And OP was still pretty nice, I would have reminded her that I do not need to steal her husband because I already had him, like, before her...
So wearing a different bikini would have stopped the husband from lurking on the sister? Like, a few centimeters more of fabric would apparently be enough for him to remember he has a wife which is also pregnant with his child? Wow, how much credit does the pregnant sister give to his husband! And by the way, he most definitely has already seen her in less than a bikini, so...
grandpa was the only voice of reason. you should have listened. no changing out of a bikini is not happening. but that last comment was rude. and you were basically perfect before that snide remark. should have apologized.
The OP's sister clearly sees her as the enemy - I get they aren't close, but the "don't pretend we're buddies comment" cements that. Maybe she dated/married Mike with the feeling that she "won" because she got him after he and OP broke up. I had a sister (done w her, permanently) who was like that. For whatever reason, she saw me as her nemesis. SHE was the one, however, who would definitely intentionally wear insanely revealing clothes or pull a Sharon Stone/Basic Instinct in front of any guy I dated. Her intentions were BAD! She would sleep w any guy she thought I loved. In the end, I picked someone who didn't fall for her c**p ❤ Because you need trust! Preggo sister and Mike don't seem to have that, and maybe it's temporary because of hormones if we're giving her the benefit of the doubt, but without it, that insecurity and jealousy is going to eat away at that marriage.
Benefit of the doubt extends to the sister because of pregnancy hormones, what benefit of the doubt do you extend to their mother who took the sister's side and was complicit in providing an alternative bikini?
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NTA. Nobody can control what other people do, like staring. If Mike looks, that's on him. Also, if as the sister said, they are not buddies then why should the OP change for her? What the mom did has a name but I can't recall because english is not my native language but where I live we call it "solapar".
Translated from Portuguese (via Google, so I'm very sorry if I've gotten your native language wrong!) the word you might be after is "undermined".
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There is nothing wrong with a man taking responsibility for his own challenges AND requesting help. He could have come up to OP (with Grandpa at his side to keep things on the up and up!) and say, “hey, I am having trouble keeping my eyes where they need to be so I will be facing away from you today so please do not take offense.”
Of course op did nothing wrong. I feel for the sister though, pregnancy can bring out the very worst in you and you feel so vulnerable (at least that's my experience). So I would be a bit "oh well" about it if I was op but give her some slack. I guess that's why mom tried to "help" the sister. (I know there are some guys out there who actually make it a lot worse too, not sure if mike is one of them - hope not.)
First problem is you got knocked up by your sisters ex. That's messed up.
Marrying your siblings ex? Nope nope nope. But honestly if this wasn't the case, I don't understand why the sister gets so much hate. I would totally understand her and wouldn't make a big deal of it, I am very self aware and would feel uncomfy plus I care too much about my sister. I think the sister gets lot hate for whom she married rather than asking her to change.
Seriaouls, she had a bikini and a cover up? If her husband would be looking its 100% not the OP problem, thesister canjust speak to "Mike" the only one reposible for his own eyes
Load More Replies... It's never a woman's job to keep a man from looking. It's that kind of attitude that forces women to cover up from head to toe in some parts and otherwise marginalized them.
I couldn't agree more. I can't stand the whole mentality of blaming the women for anybody else's inability to not control their eyes... Plus I'm saddened when someone else feels threatened by their partner's wandering eyes, be it actual or in their own minds.
Load More Replies... Can we please stop sexualizing people for wearing whatever it is they wear? It's like telling your daughter to go put on pants because uncle Charlie is coming over. Nope! Or thinking a woman should wear a bra for whatever reason. You're sexualizing someone for absolutely no reason and that's not okay.
If I was OP I'd change. To an even more open bikini... F*ck her mom, her sister and ex (If he was looking)
I get that she is a bit insecure with her changing body, but that is not the OPs problem. As far as I read it's not the husband staring either (if it were, her problem would be with HIM, not the sister), it is all in her head. She needs to work on that and not expect everyone to accomodate her.
I had a coworker years ago who boasted about luring her boyfriend (later husband) away from his girlfriend of the time. She was furious and really jealous when they met up with her a few years later and her husband and the ex started chatting and catching up. I guess it finally dawned on her that if he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you.
Hormones are doing crazy things to pregnant women, however, her mother should have already told her to drop the topic instead of enabling her even further. Thank God grandpa is the voice of reason! And OP was still pretty nice, I would have reminded her that I do not need to steal her husband because I already had him, like, before her...
So wearing a different bikini would have stopped the husband from lurking on the sister? Like, a few centimeters more of fabric would apparently be enough for him to remember he has a wife which is also pregnant with his child? Wow, how much credit does the pregnant sister give to his husband! And by the way, he most definitely has already seen her in less than a bikini, so...
grandpa was the only voice of reason. you should have listened. no changing out of a bikini is not happening. but that last comment was rude. and you were basically perfect before that snide remark. should have apologized.
The OP's sister clearly sees her as the enemy - I get they aren't close, but the "don't pretend we're buddies comment" cements that. Maybe she dated/married Mike with the feeling that she "won" because she got him after he and OP broke up. I had a sister (done w her, permanently) who was like that. For whatever reason, she saw me as her nemesis. SHE was the one, however, who would definitely intentionally wear insanely revealing clothes or pull a Sharon Stone/Basic Instinct in front of any guy I dated. Her intentions were BAD! She would sleep w any guy she thought I loved. In the end, I picked someone who didn't fall for her c**p ❤ Because you need trust! Preggo sister and Mike don't seem to have that, and maybe it's temporary because of hormones if we're giving her the benefit of the doubt, but without it, that insecurity and jealousy is going to eat away at that marriage.
Benefit of the doubt extends to the sister because of pregnancy hormones, what benefit of the doubt do you extend to their mother who took the sister's side and was complicit in providing an alternative bikini?
Load More Replies... NTA. Nobody can control what other people do, like staring. If Mike looks, that's on him. Also, if as the sister said, they are not buddies then why should the OP change for her? What the mom did has a name but I can't recall because english is not my native language but where I live we call it "solapar".
Translated from Portuguese (via Google, so I'm very sorry if I've gotten your native language wrong!) the word you might be after is "undermined".
Load More Replies... There is nothing wrong with a man taking responsibility for his own challenges AND requesting help. He could have come up to OP (with Grandpa at his side to keep things on the up and up!) and say, “hey, I am having trouble keeping my eyes where they need to be so I will be facing away from you today so please do not take offense.”
Of course op did nothing wrong. I feel for the sister though, pregnancy can bring out the very worst in you and you feel so vulnerable (at least that's my experience). So I would be a bit "oh well" about it if I was op but give her some slack. I guess that's why mom tried to "help" the sister. (I know there are some guys out there who actually make it a lot worse too, not sure if mike is one of them - hope not.)
First problem is you got knocked up by your sisters ex. That's messed up.
Marrying your siblings ex? Nope nope nope. But honestly if this wasn't the case, I don't understand why the sister gets so much hate. I would totally understand her and wouldn't make a big deal of it, I am very self aware and would feel uncomfy plus I care too much about my sister. I think the sister gets lot hate for whom she married rather than asking her to change.
Seriaouls, she had a bikini and a cover up? If her husband would be looking its 100% not the OP problem, thesister canjust speak to "Mike" the only one reposible for his own eyes
Load More Replies...
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