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Bride Asks Sibling To Photograph Her Wedding In Exchange For A New Lens, Then Asks For $500 Gift
How a couple wants to get married is their choice. But the moment they start demanding money and work from their wedding guests, the situation changes. After all, there’s a difference between being generous and being exploited.
And one amateur photographer believes his sister — who is tying the knot this summer — has crossed the line. He was asked to capture the entire day, and although the siblings initially agreed on the job’s particulars, the bride later told him he still needed to contribute $500 toward her honeymoon.
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This guy no longer wants to attend his sister’s wedding
Image credits: Alena Darmel/Pexels (not the actual photo)
And his family is blaming him for being petty
He believes it’s simply unfair to be made to work the entire wedding while still being treated as a guest
Image credits: iShootPeople/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Rough-Palpitation220
It’s now pretty common for couples to ask for honeymoon donations and even cash for wedding gifts
Image credits: Salifu Baba/Pexels (not the actual photo)
While some of us are probably shocked by the bride’s unembarrassed approach, according to experts, when it comes to wedding gifting and registries, tradition has flown the coop, and almost anything goes.
“It used to be that you had this big department store registry,” says Veronica Moya, founder of micro-elopement company Wedding Packages NYC and the Love Chapel venue at 8th Avenue and West 56th St. “But nowadays, people already live together by the time they get married, so they don’t need a toaster and a blender and all that stuff.”
Couples are getting hitched older than ever (the average age in the United States right now is 32), so requests for donations for fertility treatments are becoming as normal as a honeymoon fund.
“More people are having small, micro weddings,” Moya adds. “And when I ask my couples why they didn’t go the traditional big wedding route, I’d say about 40% of the time they tell me about expenses around in vitro fertilization (IVF).”
Meanwhile, for young couples, it’s easier than ever to collect digital cash gifts, thanks to online payment apps that make the process quick and convenient. The new generation has no problem with throwing a Venmo QR code on the invitation, on the gift table, or on their car as they drive off with the cans on the back.
However, that doesn’t mean guests can be treated as piggy banks
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Still, couples should do it in a way that makes givers excited about contributing. Moya points out that some brides and grooms start acting like out-of-touch influencers.
“Be humble,” she says. “Think of your guests. If they’ve never traveled and you are asking them to pay for you to dance with dolphins, it can be a little uncomfortable.”
A good registry, for example, offers price points ranging from $20 to more than $300 and items from a wide variety of stores.
According to experts, the average wedding gift amount for an individual hovers around $100 to $150, though it can increase or decrease depending on how close you are to the couple and whether you’re attending with a plus-one. “While it varies based on demographic, region, and culture, the average amount that I’ve seen a guest spend on a wedding gift has traditionally been in the $100 to $150 per guest attending range,” says wedding planner Elizabeth Priya Kumar.
So demanding $500 with no other choices seems pretty ridiculous. Not to mention when the person is already contributing to the event through his work.
People who read the guy’s story feel his sister is out of touch with reality
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Ge Po 2 hours ago
Wedding, in my opinion, is a party you throw because you want to celebrate the fact that you are getting married. It is YOUR party and not an obligation for you to satisfy the need for control of any family member or friend. Then again, it is YOUR party, to which you INVITE people to attend. No one should feel obligated to attend, or split the bill (under the guise of a gift). The best weddings are where all the people who come really like to be there and you do not fall into bankruptcy if no one sponsors it. (Yes, there may be some cultural expectations that can make things challenging, but the more your try to force your guests beyond that, the more difficult it will be.)
JB 7 minutes ago (edited)
Hilarious how many people are irate on behalf of an amateur photographer who wants the equivalent of $133-200/hr NET to take photos of his own sister’s wedding. He was already going to take pics of rehearsals and prep (I’m guessing that’s morning of) for free, so his negotiation is for ceremony (30-60 min), photos after (1-2 hrs) and the reception (4-6 hrs… depending on how much time he spends actually taking pics). Unlike a professional, whose sole job it is to take photos, he’ll be actively engaged in the festivities. He has no overhead to promote his business, nor will he pay tax on the gift of a $1,200 lens. The $1,000s he has spent on his equipment is irrelevant, it’s *his d**n hobby*; money he chose to spend on himself and would have spent regardless. I wonder how many people angry at his sister for being entitled and tacky, which she is, are paid up to $200/hr after tax for their actual job?
Ge Po 2 hours ago
Wedding, in my opinion, is a party you throw because you want to celebrate the fact that you are getting married. It is YOUR party and not an obligation for you to satisfy the need for control of any family member or friend. Then again, it is YOUR party, to which you INVITE people to attend. No one should feel obligated to attend, or split the bill (under the guise of a gift). The best weddings are where all the people who come really like to be there and you do not fall into bankruptcy if no one sponsors it. (Yes, there may be some cultural expectations that can make things challenging, but the more your try to force your guests beyond that, the more difficult it will be.)
JB 7 minutes ago (edited)
Hilarious how many people are irate on behalf of an amateur photographer who wants the equivalent of $133-200/hr NET to take photos of his own sister’s wedding. He was already going to take pics of rehearsals and prep (I’m guessing that’s morning of) for free, so his negotiation is for ceremony (30-60 min), photos after (1-2 hrs) and the reception (4-6 hrs… depending on how much time he spends actually taking pics). Unlike a professional, whose sole job it is to take photos, he’ll be actively engaged in the festivities. He has no overhead to promote his business, nor will he pay tax on the gift of a $1,200 lens. The $1,000s he has spent on his equipment is irrelevant, it’s *his d**n hobby*; money he chose to spend on himself and would have spent regardless. I wonder how many people angry at his sister for being entitled and tacky, which she is, are paid up to $200/hr after tax for their actual job?
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