“This Is Harsh”: Controlling Hubby Manages Finances, Wife Annoyed Having To Always Ask For Money

Being a stay-at-home mom takes a lot of work and effort, but very often their labor goes unappreciated, as their role isn’t taken seriously. This is also why some husbands take full control of the household finances and expect their wives to grovel for an allowance.

This is exactly what one woman faced for years because her husband insisted on her being a homemaker while he’d be the provider. Once the roles were set, the man made a fuss whenever his wife asked for money, which put her in a tough financial position.

More info: Mumsnet

When one partner takes full control of the household finances, it might put the other person at a disadvantage and even reduce their freedom

Man and woman exchanging money at home, illustrating the concept of asking husband for money when sick.

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The poster shared that she and her husband had made a pact many years ago that he would be the provider and she would look after the kids

Text discussing frustration of a stay-at-home mom feeling sick of having to constantly ask husband for money.

Woman feeling sick at home, hesitating to ask husband for money, seeking independence and support during illness.

Woman feeling sick at home holding baby, appearing to ask husband for money in a cozy living room setting

Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Unfortunately, the old arrangement was no longer suiting the woman, and she craved financial freedom, as she had always had to ask her husband for money

Text excerpt expressing resentment and desire for financial freedom while discussing family and asking husband for money.

ALT text: Frustrated woman sick of asking husband for money and struggling with trust and financial support.

Text describing a person feeling sick and hesitant to ask husband for money due to financial misunderstandings and responsibilities.

Man counting money at home, illustrating the concept of asking husband for money when sick and in need of support.

Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Recently, when the couple moved house, the man made her throw away most of her clothes, and he made a fuss when she asked for £150 to buy new ones later

Person expressing feeling sick and hesitant to ask husband for money to buy clothes and footwear after moving.

Text about feeling sick and needing to ask husband for money, discussing changes in relationship dynamics.

Text discussing feeling conflicted about asking husband for money while sick and considering his busy time and financial support.

Image credits: Justlivelovelaugheat

The poster felt bad that she had put herself in the position where she had to keep asking her husband for money, and she didn’t know what to do

The OP had never planned on being a stay-at-home mom, but when her husband convinced her that he would grow the business while she managed childcare, she agreed. Even though she had taken on the role of being the housewife, she always craved freedom and financial independence. 

Many couples struggle to figure out how to divide family and household responsibilities, so it’s great that these people were able to set that early on. However, experts state that even if partners have set roles of being the provider and the homemaker, they should still step in to support the other person whenever needed.

That is one of the main problems in this situation, because the woman felt stuck in her role as a housewife, as she didn’t have any control over their finances. Her husband managed everything to the extent that he even told her to throw out many of her clothes and refused to give her £150 to buy anything new for herself.

For ages, this has been the norm for many families, where the man of the house manages the money, and the woman might just be given an allowance to manage her expenses. That’s exactly why studies have found that only 33% of women make their own financial decisions, as compared to 64% of men.

Woman feeling sick and stressed while sitting among clothes, contemplating asking husband for money support.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster couldn’t take her husband’s behavior anymore and felt stuck because of her lack of financial independence. In a comment, she told netizens that earlier, they had a joint account, but in the last year, he had shifted all the money to his account, which had made things tougher for her.

The husband’s strict control over their money and his reluctance to give the OP how much she needs does seem to signal an imbalance of power in their relationship. Even financial experts state that when one partner repeatedly tries to limit the other person’s access to money, it is a red flag that should not be ignored.

The poster was unsure whether she was asking for too much by presenting her monetary needs to her husband. She worried that she was being selfish by asking for money for clothes when he was so busy with work, but at the same time, she also felt helpless, as she had nothing.

In situations like this, where one partner might be controlling about money, professionals advise secretly saving over time. This gives the victim a little more freedom to make decisions for themselves and get back some of their power and confidence. They also should tell trusted loved ones about their situation and build a good external support system.

What advice do you have for the OP, and what would you do if you were in her position? Let us know your opinion down below.

Folks told the woman to get a job immediately and to start saving up money for herself

Advice on sick having to ask husband money, discussing joint marital assets and financial access in marriage.

Comment about partnership and finances, advising on asking husband for money while feeling sick and struggling.

Comment on a forum discussing the challenges of being sick and having to ask husband for money.

Text excerpt discussing being sick and having to ask husband for money, emphasizing financial dependence and communication in marriage.

Text advice about asking husband for money when sick, emphasizing setting boundaries and financial access decisions.

Comment discussing the fairness of money distribution between husband and wife while managing home and child care duties.

Advice on asking husband for money while feeling sick, discussing trust, joint accounts, and managing childcare costs.

ALT text: Excerpt of a discussion about sick having and asking husband money with joint account and personal spending.

Comment advising to invoice husband for services and pregnancy-related costs to address sick having ask husband money issues.

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