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43 Things Wealthy People Considered Totally Normal That Left Their Friends Stunned
Money matters. If someone tells you it doesn’t, they probably have generational wealth, a fairly big financial safety net that lets them hold that view easily, or they’re completely out of touch with the lives that regular people live.
People who have spent time around rich friends and other wealthy people have revealed the most surprising things they have said that genuinely stuck with them. We’re featuring their most interesting and shocking stories, as shared online, to give a glimpse of how serious wealth can affect your close friends' behavior, values, and beliefs.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
This isn't the worst one I'm sure but I went to a private school. First day the professor goes over the syllabus and how your grades. "Ten percent of your grade is attendance..." Great right,? Easy ten percent, not all professors care about attendance. Girl raises her hand "um I pay 30 grand a year to go here, I don't think attendance should be mandatory." The professor was obviously shocked and took a beat but handled it well. "It's not mandatory, it's ten percent of your grade. It's your choice if you want to come or not." Great professor. Ironically it was a class on ethics.
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#2
If you work hard, you can be just like me.
Note, his dad built his own business, sold it for $200mm, and left the kid $20mm in a trust fund.
#3
“Don’t worry about paying me back”
This applies to fancy meals, trips, nights out, you name it. No attitude, never flexed or put me down, just quietly paid for everything to ensure we (and not just me) always had a good time together doing things we all enjoyed.
It is certainly possible to be friends with someone from a completely different social class, but it is tough. There’s lots of room for envy, resentment, frustration, fakeness, manipulation, and miscommunication.
People tend to compare themselves to others financially. As a result, this affects their feelings of self-worth. You are more likely to feel unhappier if you think that your friends and neighbors earn more than you.
According to research psychologist Peggy Drexler, PhD, there are “ few things that can come between friends as easily as money can.”
#4
My BIL, a really good guy, would assume everyone else came from big money too.
He'd say, "Hey Kaiser, did you ever rent a plane just to fly down to the Keys?"
Me: "No Bro, I was scrubbing toilets at Denny's.".
#5
I was going with an old friend I hadn't seen in a long time and his warehouse alarm went off so we went to go meet the cops. He was driving with a full glass of whiskey on the rocks in his hand and said "don't worry, I know these guys" stepped out of the car like it was no big deal.
I was blown away, so ready for an arrest but they all just laughed and slapped eachothers backs. This was when I realized that people with money really do own the town.
#6
When I was a kid (really low income poor poor) I had a friend that invited me to his house to use his trampoline with him. I had never even seen a trampoline. I walked all the way to his house and we jumped and played and had a great time.
The next day he told me, and Ill never forget it:
“My mom said you cant jump on the trampoline anymore because you arent allowed near our house”
Hope that counts as answering the question because it stuck with me 35 years later.
“Money confers power, and it makes inequalities painfully clear. Some people may try to counteract feelings of envy or insecurity by imagining their "better-off" friends as miserable in some other way. Others may remove themselves from the friendship. But while it can be difficult not to feel resentful over what other people have, and what you don't, it's not impossible,” Drexler writes.
She argues that there are a few ways to be friends with people better off than you. First, you have to focus on clarity and honesty. Set boundaries when you feel pressured to spend money you don’t have.
#7
She kept saying her family was broke but they had two drivers and several house staff members and they had just bought a new car and they continued to get high end grocery items and snacks. I learned quickly that rich people broke is very different from regular people broke.
#9
Went to college with a bunch of trust fund kids and it’s actually crazy how many of them love cosplaying poor. The trustafarian type.
One of them spent the summer train hopping… in his boutique clothes designed to look like distressed 1950’s hobo attire. Probably spent a couple thousand dollars on it.
Another bought a van and decked it out to go live in it freely wherever he wanted and commune with nature or whatever… and then presumably abandoned it to move back into his penthouse apartment when school started back up.
“A true friend will value your company over trying out a trendy new restaurant -- though don't blame her for wanting to try the new restaurant, either. She'll also, most likely, read between the lines. Besides: Outings are about compromise, and any good plan will incorporate input from both parties.”
Drexler also warns that you should not try to keep up with your rich friends. Don’t overspend just to show off. Your friends likely do not expect you to “reciprocate with the same level of extravagance.” So, don’t keep score. Do things within your own means.
#10
The first thing that always throws people off is how they view money as a tool to buy time rather than a resource to conserve. a regular person will spend three hours on hold with an airline to save a two hundred dollar change fee. a wealthy person will literally just abandon the ticket, buy a brand new first-class seat on another flight, and treat the spent money like paying a minor convenience tax. to them, losing two hours of their afternoon is infinitely more expensive than burning a few hundred bucks.
another quote that really sticks with people who marry into or work around old money is: "if a problem can be solved with money, it’s not a real problem." it sounds unbelievably obnoxious on the surface, but from their perspective, true tragedy is only stuff like incurable illness or d***h. anything else - a ruined car, a destroyed house, a massive legal mistake - is just an administrative chore that requires transferring funds.
#12
Middle school. One of my friend's family was in the Mexican oil business. Money all over the place. He had 10 maids, etc.
He slept over at my place (regular, upper middle class 3 bed 3 bath home) once and for breakfast we had cereal. The box was unopened, and I handed it to him to open while I got some bowls.
He stared at it confused for a bit then just ripped it open, brute force caveman style. Turns out he'd never opened a box of cereal himself so he had no idea how to do it properly.
Meanwhile, if your friends’ vast wealth makes you feel various negative emotions, you have to be honest with yourself and ask whether they’re the issue or if this is more about you.
Maybe you don’t have serious money issues, but you need to rein in your spending instead. Maybe you should ask for a raise or promotion at work.
Be proactive and focus on what you can change in your life today instead of resenting your friends for having a better life.
“Remember why you're friends in the first place. Don't judge them for what they have - what they wear, the trips they take, the house they live in - but for who they are, and how they treat you. You probably have more in common with your rich friends than you think; you did, after all, become friends in the first place,” Drexler notes.
#13
I was a typical middle lower class kid of the 90s and my circle of friends predominately were from the same neighbourhood except for one of our friends. We visited each others houses met parents etc, except this one kid.
We thought he might be embarrassed which we understood as we weren't too flash ourselves. He always walked to our neighbourhood via a park that border a lower income area so we assumed he lived over there.
Our friend did not show any signs that he was rich other from when we used to chip in together for a meal, movies, etc without hesitation. I remembered a few times a couple of us would refuse to take his money because we made the assumption that he was poorer than us.
A few years in; a lady appeared at my door upset and told my mother and I that my friend was hit by a car and was in hospital. We quickly went to the hospital and thankfully he recovered. His mother invited us to their house when he returned home and to our surprise he was lived a beautiful home with a massive pool and pool house. He later told us that he didn't want people to treat him differently.
#14
“Poor people are poor because they have poor ways.” One of them said this to me.
It’s simultaneously extremely condescending, incorrect, and in other cases, also extremely correct.
It definitely applies to the type of folks you know who are so bad with money the more they earn the less they have. I’ve met MANY. Always drinking $8 Starbucks and having nice things but can never get ahead.
#15
The incredible generosity, at least for the one person I know. For just one example, she “adopts” a couple of families from her church parish every Christmas and she goes all out. She spends hours thinking of what to give them, shopping and wrapping thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff. And she’s always buying her friends little gifts and donating to worthy causes. She is probably the exception to the rule and I guess I wouldn’t willingly be friends with a stingy jerk but she is really what you’d want millionaires to actually be.
After you’ve read through these stories, we want to hear your perspectives and experiences in the comments, Pandas.
Who is the wealthiest person you know, and how has their behavior surprised you?
Have you ever interacted with anyone whom you’d call ultra-wealthy? What were they like?
If you were ever to become rich through hard work or pure luck, what would you do to ensure that your core values remain unchanged? How would you avoid becoming entitled? We can’t wait to hear your take.
#16
I have several friends who are much wealthier than I am. Millionaires. Six-figure incomes. Stocks. All that stuff.
It was more what they *didn't* say that stuck with me, because they never flaunted their wealth. My buddy got married, for instance, and it was a nice affair as weddings go, and I was happy to be invited. But years later I found out that he had a *wild* bachelor party with many of our mutual friends in Vegas and hadn't invited me or even told me it had happened.
I was hurt at first, but when I thought about it, it made sense. He hadn't invited *any* of his poorer friends, all of whom would have had to decline because we couldn't afford a weekend gambling and drinking in Vegas. So by not inviting us and not telling us about it, he saved us from feeling embarrassed or ashamed for being too poor to go.
What was wilder to me was that every one of my friends he had invited had *also* kept quiet about the Vegas trip, for the same reasons, for years. It was when two of them were reminiscing about what a blast that weekend had been all those years ago that I learned about it. I was floored, and hurt, but when I thought it through, I realized it had been a wise decision. Because, again, my friends aren't jerks. They don't flaunt their wealth.
#17
I’ve got a cousin, very wealthy, and when I was about 8 and he was 17 or 18 I asked why a man was digging in the trash. His response was one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. It’s always stuck in my mind. Throughout the 40 years since then he’s never been an a*s, is personable, relatable, a down to earth person. Not your typical frat boy jerk . Always impressed me because his life isn’t like most people’s by a long shot.
#18
Women from old money usually have very silly nick names that end with a "y" sound.
Her name may be Henrietta Woodford, but everyone calls her Dolly or Poppy.
I grew up rubbing shoulders with old money people in the most old money part of New England. Most of them just spend all day gossiping or reminiscing about times when they've gossiped. What always gets me is the insane level of enthusiasm they have while talking to you about this petty stuff. Like it's the most exciting thing in the world that they're letting you in on.
Also, none of them call their houses by address, it's always the Watermelin or The Mount.
#19
"The Jellyfish sting really was causing my mom sleeping problems, so she had a Dr come to the hotel to check it and get painkillers."
Edit: I had been stung by the same species of Jellyfish and I would rate it about a bee-sting as does the internet.
2nd edit: This was in the United States - This had to be 1000+ *easy* (especially since it was a late night visit)
3rd edit: This family had some goldies with how disconnected from reality rich they were, another
The eldest daughter spontanously moved to Hawaii (bought a house on the water obviously) and moved her kids/husband all with no one working/having jobs... fresh out of dropping out of college but ok *sure*....
"Why are you moving to Hawaii? > I want to go to a place that supports my *diet*"
1-year later:
"Why did you move back? > The locals were mean to us".
#20
My friend who grew up wealthy told me he admired how I “saved up my money instead of blowing it all on sports cars like he did”. Dude, I’m not saving up any money.
#21
“I don’t like my neighbors … I guess I have to buy their houses.”
Proceeded to buy all the houses around the lake.
#22
I know I billionaire, and he casually talked about how you buy politicians.
The short version is that you invest a small amount in the beginning of a hundred different politicians from both sides. Then you double down on the winners. In the end you have 20-40 individuals in congress that pick up your phone calls, and remember you as someone who “was with me from the beginning.”
You probably spend $20k x 80 on the losers, so $1.6 million. And about $200k each on the winners. So $4-8 million. So for under $10million total you cer that meant congressmen.
#23
I have a former roommate who had a very successful career and is a multi millionaire several times over. He is fine and we still stay in contact even though he doesn’t live locally to me any longer. The issue is his wife. We all started as friends. She has essentially never worked, would likely fail miserably at keeping any sort of regular schedule if she tried and has no understanding for how the real world works. One of her frequent statements is “all that matters is love”. Yea sure, ok. She is also one of those people who posts frequently on social media to elicit engagement about what’s going on in her life but she never comments or engages with anyone else’s content or life events. A perfect example of someone who wants fans, not friends.
#24
I witnessed someone purchase a $250k G-Wagen and only at delivery say "Oh, it's an EV. Cool!".
#25
A lot of them are genuinely super unhappy. I've seen little difference in their ability to be confident in the world: the main exception is that they are comfortable being around other rich people. They feel accepted in that world and they understand it. But they are just as likely to be insecure, depressed, anxious, as regular Joes from what I can tell.
I have one friend who is extremely wealthy. Before she was wealthy, she was depressed, insecure, and worried about money. Now she's rich, depressed, insecure, and worried about money.
I've worked with executives who are as petty and insecure as some of the frat bros I knew in college.
It's made me appreciate people who tried to mentor or be a parental figure to me more. Wherever, you go, there you are. Whether you have 10 MM dollars in your bank account or 10 thousand, you take your entire lifetime of experience with you. For some people, it feels like a prison, rich or not.
#26
“I forgot my wallet,” for the hundredth time.
My best friend growing up was extremely wealthy and money was a foreign concept to him. Subsequently he always forgot to bring said money with him to dinners, movies etc.
#27
The most interesting thing I’ve seen is how quickly their opinions swing from an empathetic desire to have people succeed and a blinding devotion to the concept that the institutions that allowed them to succeed are necessary and defensible despite the evidence that they lead to people suffering.
Joe Publique 5 minutes ago
Similarly, there are some really interesting studies into how billionaires view ‘luck’ and the role it played in their ‘success’. Many tend to attribute their position primarily to their own hard work, talent and decision-making, while downplaying the role of luck and circumstances beyond their control.
#28
It was amazing to me how everything in their life was enhanced to require more than just acquiring something. Another way to put it is every item had a service tacked on. Buy a suit it comes with tailoring, buy a car and get a driver, buy a vacation home but it has a full time staff. But the crazy part was the lack of appreciation for how that affected other people‘s lives.
#29
I have three wealthy friends and they are obsessively mindful of their money, almost to the penny. I don’t know if it’s some kind of hoarder mentality. Aside from that quirk, they’re wonderful people.
#30
They all own properties, and they seemingly have one everywhere. Like a condo in Miami so that they can stay for a couple months in the winter. And when they aren't here they just have it looked after by someone, it doesn't get rented out.
#31
Business class flights as a punishment.
Comparing which planes first class is better.
$5,000 weekly allowance and they are struggling + maid + orchard road condo in Singapore.
That whole conversation flew past my head.
#32
They looked down on the millionaire across the block because he had to work to maintain it.
#33
I fly private jets. “Sir do NOT put aluminum foil in the microwave!” As I’m getting up to stop a fire.
#34
They have just as many problems as non-rich folk, it's just their problems don't revolve around money. Many have more problems. People with money problems think all their problems would go away if they just had more money.
#36
This will probably get downvoted but how normal they remained. I have a lot of rich friends (some are now worth hundreds of millions) b/c I live near Silicon Valley but they all grew up middle class or lower. I thought once they got money they'd go nuts, but nope. If you didn't know they were super rich you'd never really know. The only thing they spent a lot of money on is housing, but that may be more due to the extreme cost of housing around here. The houses would look pretty normal anywhere else. One did buy a regular Porsche 911, but otherwise they drive Toyotas or Lexus, etc. They do always pick up the check though.
Or maybe they act that way around me b/c I'm not rich at all. Perhaps when they get together without me they jump in champagne filled swimming pools.
#37
I once was talking with my buddy's dad, who worked in private equity in Philly for decades. I said (in the late-1980s) that I didn't believe that Bill Gates was the wealthiest man in the world, or even the U.S.
He looked at me for a minute and said, "In NYC, Philadelphia, and Boston, there are social registers of families. Some newly wealthy will buy their way onto them. There are also entire families that pay to stay OFF of the social registers. You'll never know who they are. They're not flashy with Rolls Royces and huge mansions. Those people have vast wealth, and they run this country.".
#39
Their quality of life was so much higher than the rest of us, it was insane. They had no idea how difficult it was living outside that wealth bubble. Because of that, they thought most people were just irresponsible with their savings. It never occurred to them that most people could not afford to save money. .
#40
In high school our son was dating a girl whose father was a wealthy surgeon. Our son wanted to go on a summer trip that cost $10k so we told him he would need to find a job after school and contribute at least part of the amount.
The girlfriend asked him, “Why can’t your parents just pay the whole thing? It’s only $10k.”
He dumped her.
#41
My college roommate didn't have much facial hair. Maybe a little stubble around his chin and some patchy areas up his jaw.
A couple times a week, he would shave with a Gillette Fusion. After each use, he would throw away the blade.
He also had that service that washes and folds your laundry.
#42
Ordinary people think being rich means buying expensive stuff.
Truly rich people view money as a cheat code to delete minor daily inconveniences.
#43
It’s surprises me how little they talk about money, or the price of things.
Habitually I sort of complain about the cost of living; or frame my enjoyment of things through the cost of it.
“It was a great time but honestly for $X99, I expected…”
I’d always be met with blank looks. They just don’t see the world through that lens; the cost is never really part of the equation of choice for them.
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