40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You
Disheveled hair, coke bottle glasses, suspiciously off-white scrubs, and not a single grain of humor—do you still have this notion in your mind when thinking about scientists? Well, not only are they actually perfectly capable of combing their hair and washing their lab coats, but more often than not, they could blow you away with their clever jokes. You know, in reality, having the smarts relates closely to having a great sense of humor! Although their science jokes might be a bit nerdy, a bit kooky, or hardly understandable without some scientific background, they are nevertheless close to genius. Some of them cover the life achievements of famous scientists, others make subtle fun of Mendeleev’s table of elements and some are purely based on some rather suspicious sciency terms. A joke for everyone, really!
For instance, while helium is already inherently funny (just look at helium balloons… aren’t they just amazing and hilarious at the same time?) it’s still even more fun when there’s a clever pun or two attached to the name. Or how about Pavlov’s experiments—are you already salivating for a joke (ba-dum tss)? Let’s not forget such curiosities as minerals, the wondrous qualities of neutrons, or even mysterious parallel universes—how exciting is that!?
To awaken your inner scientist, or to gloat about just how smart you are for getting each of these jokes, scroll just a bit further down to see our list of hand-picked science jokes. We do not guarantee that you will be able to put your phone down after you’ve finished, since there are quite a few instances where helium is mentioned. Get it? Anyway, just have a go at these smart jokes, vote for the ones that you liked the best, and share this article with your friends, neighbors, and the girl you once met.
Why don’t aliens visit our Solar System?
They read the reviews – just one star.
I was going to tell a joke about sodium, but Na.
A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”
“When do we want it?”
How much room do fungi need to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
There are only bad science jokes left.
All the good ones argon.
Do you know the name Pavlov?
It rings a bell.
What does one tectonic plate say when it bumps into another?
“Sorry. My fault!”
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
There’s a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Why did the bacteria fail the math test?
He thought multiplication was the same as division.
What does a subatomic duck say?
What did one decimal say to the number?
“Did you get my point?”
They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.
An infectious disease walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
It replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
One mouse to another: “Look at that fellow with a white coat on. Whenever I push the paddle, he starts writing something!”
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I probably won’t get a reaction.
When the astronomy department found out their famous professor wouldn’t get the Nobel prize this year, they decided to hold a party for him anyway. They gave him a constellation prize.
Why didn’t the sun go to graduate school?
Because it already had a million degrees!
A physicist, while exiting the theater after seeing Star Wars, bumped into a fellow physicist.
Inspired by the movie, he blurted to his friend, “May the mass times acceleration be with you.”
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The engineer sees a glass two times too large.
What do you call a rude acid?
What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight?
I’m sick of your negativity.
What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
Pull down its genes.
Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!
What did the 30-degree angle say to the 90-degree angle?
You think you’re always right!
What do scientists get for bad breath?
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.