Disheveled hair, coke bottle glasses, suspiciously off-white scrubs, and not a single grain of humor—do you still have this notion in your mind when thinking about scientists? Well, not only are they actually perfectly capable of combing their hair and washing their lab coats, but more often than not, they could blow you away with their clever jokes. You know, in reality, having the smarts relates closely to having a great sense of humor! Although their science jokes might be a bit nerdy, a bit kooky, or hardly understandable without some scientific background, they are nevertheless close to genius. Some of them cover the life achievements of famous scientists, others make subtle fun of Mendeleev’s table of elements and some are purely based on some rather suspicious sciency terms. A joke for everyone, really!

For instance, while helium is already inherently funny (just look at helium balloons… aren’t they just amazing and hilarious at the same time?) it’s still even more fun when there’s a clever pun or two attached to the name. Or how about Pavlov’s experiments—are you already salivating for a joke (ba-dum tss)? Let’s not forget such curiosities as minerals, the wondrous qualities of neutrons, or even mysterious parallel universes—how exciting is that!?

To awaken your inner scientist, or to gloat about just how smart you are for getting each of these jokes, scroll just a bit further down to see our list of hand-picked science jokes. We do not guarantee that you will be able to put your phone down after you’ve finished, since there are quite a few instances where helium is mentioned. Get it? Anyway, just have a go at these smart jokes, vote for the ones that you liked the best, and share this article with your friends, neighbors, and the girl you once met.

#1

Why don’t aliens visit our Solar System?

They read the reviews – just one star.

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Lydia Owen the Bi-tch
Community Member
9 months ago

I love this one

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#2

I was going to tell a joke about sodium, but Na.

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GlipGlop
Community Member
9 months ago

Ha nailed it

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#3

A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”
“Time travel.”
“When do we want it?”
“Irrelevant.”

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ShriSha Kamboj
Community Member
9 months ago

will come back with a comment in near future....or past

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#4

How much room do fungi need to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

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Scagsy
Community Member
9 months ago

Actually made a chuckle a bit.

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#5

What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

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Julie moreau quilliou
Community Member
9 months ago

This one is great

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#6

Do you know the name Pavlov?

It rings a bell.

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RK Barbo
Community Member
9 months ago

Why am I drooling?

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#7

There are only bad science jokes left.

All the good ones argon.

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Adom Lee
Community Member
9 months ago

This one should've opened the article 😆

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#8

What does one tectonic plate say when it bumps into another?

“Sorry. My fault!”

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Mad Dragon
Community Member
8 months ago

"No, it's OUR fault!."

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#9

How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!

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Suleiman Ahmad
Community Member
9 months ago

Everytime, blame it on the hardware!

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#10

There’s a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

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Suleiman Ahmad
Community Member
9 months ago

Oh my god!

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#11

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

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Buren
Community Member
9 months ago

Poor chemist, I wonder about the reaction

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#12

If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.

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Shawn Bean
Community Member
9 months ago

Okay, I'm stealing this one! 😁

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#13

There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.

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Fat Harry
Community Member
8 months ago

There are two types of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

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#14

Why did the bacteria fail the math test?

He thought multiplication was the same as division.

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Marco Conti
Community Member
8 months ago

Cleverer than it sounds at first.

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#15

What does a subatomic duck say?

Quark.

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Madre_Dr4gnZFly
Community Member
9 months ago

*facepalm*

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#16

What did one decimal say to the number?

“Did you get my point?”

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chessandroll
Community Member
9 months ago

- Do you like my fractional part? -That's besides the point

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#17

They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.

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CJ M
Community Member
8 months ago

That’s not a joke that’s true tho… the first result on google never lies, right?

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#18

An infectious disease walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
It replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”

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Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey
Community Member
9 months ago

my favorite

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#19

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

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Esees
Community Member
9 months ago

Sure, but not ok

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#20

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

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Oerff On Tour
Community Member
9 months ago

I feel just the same way

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#21

One mouse to another: “Look at that fellow with a white coat on. Whenever I push the paddle, he starts writing something!”

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Doc Thissen
Community Member
8 months ago

Don't forget: The mice are the ones conducting experiments on humans.

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#22

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

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Josh
Community Member
9 months ago

This one actually made me smile

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#23

I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I probably won’t get a reaction.

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GlipGlop
Community Member
9 months ago

Activation energy's too high, find a catalyst

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#24

What kind of dog does a scientist have?

A lab.

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ZAPanda
Community Member
8 months ago

What kind of dog does walter white have? A meth lab.

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#25

When the astronomy department found out their famous professor wouldn’t get the Nobel prize this year, they decided to hold a party for him anyway. They gave him a constellation prize.

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s. vitkovitsky
Community Member
8 months ago

*groan*

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#26

Why didn’t the sun go to graduate school?

Because it already had a million degrees!

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Charles Bosse
Community Member
9 months ago

Must have gone to school with all the characters on Bones.

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#27

A physicist, while exiting the theater after seeing Star Wars, bumped into a fellow physicist.
Inspired by the movie, he blurted to his friend, “May the mass times acceleration be with you.”

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Kija
Community Member
8 months ago

Lmao

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#28

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

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WannaKnowWhatIThink?DoYa?
Community Member
8 months ago

Times New Roman walks into a bar. The bartender says "Get out! We don't serve your type!"

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#29

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The engineer sees a glass two times too large.

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Robert T
Community Member
8 months ago

"twice the size it needs to be" - precision is required in this joke!

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#30

What do you call a rude acid?

A meano-acid.

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mamadeflorencia
Community Member
8 months ago

ha ha ha ha! Almost a Dad joke!

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#31

What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight?

I’m sick of your negativity.

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Who Panda 420
Community Member
8 months ago

Jeez I hear this all the time too

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#32

A hug without u is like Mercury.

Hg.

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Charles Bosse
Community Member
9 months ago

My heart suddenly feels heavy...

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#33

Nine sodium atoms walk into a bar…

Then in comes Batman!

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WannaKnowWhatIThink?DoYa?
Community Member
8 months ago

ACTUALLY, sing it to yourself - there are only 8 Nas before Batman!

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#34

What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

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Who Panda 420
Community Member
8 months ago

That doesn't always work in this day and age LOL

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#35

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

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Lukyan Terdal
Community Member
8 months ago

Classic.

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#36

What did the 30-degree angle say to the 90-degree angle?

You think you’re always right!

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Robert T
Community Member
8 months ago

And the 90-degree angle replied, "oh, you're acute!".

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#37

What do scientists get for bad breath?

Experi-mints!

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Who Panda 420
Community Member
8 months ago

Love to see this as a mentos commercial.

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#38

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

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Kija
Community Member
8 months ago

Made me crackkk

#39

Have you heard that entropy isn’t what it used to be?

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Suleiman Ahmad
Community Member
9 months ago

Well, every damn system tends to disorderliness

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#40

Why is quantum mechanics is the original “original hipster”?

It described the universe before it was cool.

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Charles Bosse
Community Member
9 months ago

This one needs edited for grammer, but in concept I like it

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