“I’m Aware Of My Limits”: Cousin’s Autistic Kids Make Woman Reconsider Becoming A Mother

For anyone thinking about having a baby, it’s not just about deciding when to try or how many kids you’ll have.

You have to consider all the logistics — the finances, the sleepless nights, and all the little ways your life’s going to change.

Then there’s these uncomfortable questions that might flood your mind: What if something goes wrong? What if your baby has health problems? Complications during birth, or a condition you weren’t expecting?

Those thoughts can keep any prospective parent awake at night, including this woman who recently opened up about her fears online.

She shared that she’s scared of becoming a mother after seeing the daily struggles her cousin faces raising two autistic children.

Read her story to find out why exactly she’s having these concerns, and how many others share the same worries.

A woman shared that she is scared to have children in case they have additional needs

Woman wearing teal sweater sitting thoughtfully, reflecting on limits and autistic kids influencing motherhood decisions.

Image credits: Dimaberlin/Envato (not the actual photo)

She talked about her cousin who has two autistic children

Text excerpt about a woman reconsidering motherhood due to her cousin’s autistic kids and their additional needs.

Text discussing challenges with autistic kids who are non-verbal and very physical, impacting reconsideration of becoming a mother.

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Text expressing fear of future children having problems after spending time with autistic nieces and nephews.

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Close-up of a young child playing outdoors, reflecting on autism and reconsidering becoming a mother.

Image credits: Yannamelissa/Envato (not the actual photo)

Text on a plain white background discussing how many people have faced hardships, mentioning Jesy from Little Mix and her twin daughters.

Text excerpt discussing awareness of personal limits influencing decision on becoming a mother after cousin’s autistic kids experience.

The woman gave some more updates about her situation

Text excerpt discussing a woman's reflection on motherhood and limits after knowing cousin’s autistic kids.

Text excerpt about reconsidering motherhood after experiences with cousin’s autistic kids, reflecting on limits.

Image credits: Avelin

Raising a child with special needs can be physically, emotionally, and financially exhausting

No one expects more therapists in their phone call log than play‑date invites when they imagine their future family.

For parents of children with conditions like autism, the reality can be physically and emotionally demanding. And not to forget the financial burden that comes with extra medical appointments, special education meetings, and complex therapies.

Research shows that about 50% of mothers of children with autism experience elevated levels of depression over time, significantly higher than mothers of neurotypical children.

“Being the parent of a child with special needs is inherently challenging every day. It is a prototypical example of chronic stress,” says Elissa Epel, PhD, professor at University of California, San Francisco, and senior author of the study.

Image credits: Prostock-studio/Envato (not the actual photo)

“We already know from this sample that mothers with more depression tend to have signs of faster biological aging, such as lower levels of the anti-aging hormone klotho and older immune cells, on average,” Epel adds.

Self-blame and guilt among parents of autistic children is also very common. It can make depression even worse in mothers.

If you’ve seen a parent caring for a child with special needs up close, you might recognize the nuance — profound love mixed with true exhaustion. Some days feel like a marathon with no finish line.

It’s not just about the time, money and energy. It’s the constant mental load of planning, advocating, and sometimes fighting for the support your child needs.

Biases and prejudices that exist around disability can make parenthood feel even heavier.

The reality that autism isn’t uncommon can bring understandable anxiety

For many prospective parents, these fears feel real because autism isn’t rare, it affects millions of families.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) data shows that about 1 in every 31 US children has been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). That’s roughly 3.2% of children based on data for 8-year-olds.

Actor Kellie Bright recently spoke about the “constant battle” of raising a child with autism.

She said having a child with special educational needs means “nothing comes easily,” and described daily life as a fight — from getting the right support to simply being heard.

“It’s a battle all the time,” she said, adding that the lack of understanding and help leaves many parents feeling completely exhausted.

Image credits: alvarogonzalez/Envato (not the actual photo)

It’s not unusual for parents to think about what raising a child with complex care needs would mean for their relationship, their finances, and their future.

If your heart is set on becoming a parent, there’s an incredible amount of love and meaning that comes with bringing a tiny human into the world.

Research shows that many mothers of children with autism also report high levels of emotional closeness and positive interactions with their children.

But being a special needs parent means you have to go above and beyond what other parents may do.

There are also ways to navigate these fears.

Some couples go for pre-pregnancy genetic counseling to reduce anxiety and get clear information about risks.

Others consider different paths to parenthood altogether, including adoption, as a way to grow their family in a way that feels right for them.

The woman clarified that she didn’t mean to upset anyone

Online discussion about autism and motherhood, with a woman reconsidering becoming a mother due to cousin’s autistic kids.

Comment discussing limits and challenges of raising autistic children, influencing reconsideration of becoming a mother.

Reactions poured in with most people supporting and understanding her fears

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Text post discussing reconsideration of motherhood due to experience with cousin’s autistic kids and awareness of personal limits.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing limits and challenges of parenting children with autism.

Woman sharing her thoughts on limits and challenges of raising autistic kids before deciding about motherhood.

Forum post discussing how having autistic kids in the family influenced a woman’s decision about becoming a mother.

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Commenter explains how autistic cousin’s kids influenced her decision on motherhood, considering limits and disabilities.

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Comment discussing how cousin’s autistic kids influence a woman to reconsider motherhood due to awareness of limits.

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