Guy Asks If He’s The Jerk For Helping His Younger Brother And Not The Twin Sister Who’s The Parents’ Favorite
If you ask any parent “who’s your favorite child?”, chances are you will almost always hear the official answer: “we love them both equally” or “we do not play favorites” or the like. On rare occasions you will hear them joke about who the favorite is, but maintain a stance of all kids being treated equally. Though it might not be the case, but they at least try their best to avoid scarring their children for life.
However, there are, sadly, parents who play favorites and don’t even try to hide it. Enter this Redditor who got some flack for supporting his brother, who the parents openly treated like a scapegoat, but favored his twin sister. So much, in fact, so as to spoil her.
More Info: Reddit
While everyone agrees that parenting isn’t easy, everyone also agrees that parents shouldn’t give in to favoritism either
Image credits: Derek Bridges (not the actual photo)
So, a 20-year-old male Redditor turned to the r/AmITheA-Hole community about a predicament he found himself in. You see, OP has twin siblings—“Joe” and “Jill”. Now, the parents always wanted a daughter, so when they had twins, the daughter was showered with love, but Joe, on the other hand, as an extra kid in this deal, got the role of the “scapegoat”.
As for OP, he is the oldest grandson on both sides of the family, so he is in a more fortunate position, but the problem is really not with just the parents as it’s the entire family that’s playing the favoritism game.
But, because the older brother has a heart, he started taking on a supportive role with regards to Joe—not only because he detested how spoiled the twin sister was because of the way their parents pampered her, but also because it was the right thing to do and he didn’t want him to be alone in the family.
A concerned brother turned to Reddit to find out if he was wrong to side with his brother whom the parents are effectively scapegoating
Image credits: u/throwaway649q
OP explained that whenever the parents would take Jill shopping, he’d take Joe skating with his friends; whenever the parents were at Jill’s kiddie pageant, the older bro would drag his friends to watch his school musicals. “Small things like that,” though considering everything, those aren’t small things, but rather very meaningful things and we commend OP for being the best brother ever.
And now everyone’s older, and the twins are reaching their high-school graduations. Jill, to no surprise, is going to university in San Francisco, which is all being paid for by the parents, but Joe’s going to the same university in Seattle that OP is going to. What is more, he got a full scholarship, which, again, to no surprise, meant that the parents were going to give him nothing.
While the parents were busy pampering the twin sister, the older brother was always being there for the twin brother
Image credits: u/throwaway649q
In response to this, OP started getting in touch with people he knew to see if anyone was hiring next fall. The two were discussing all of this on FaceTime, with OP reassuring his brother that he will make sure everything is just fine. In fact, it was probably for the best as it would just mean he’s independent from the parents and they won’t be attaching any strings if they help financially.
And it seems the sister must have overheard them talking, as she also started relentlessly bugging OP about helping her find a job. She too started asking him to help her find a job because she didn’t want dad “nagging her” about it.
And when it came time for college, the sister noticed just how supportive the older bro was of the younger bro, but not of her
Image credits: Ben Dalton (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/throwaway649q
The older brother did try to politely explain that he doesn’t know anyone in San Fran and that she’d get more help from mom and dad, and she was unhappy, to say the least. The sister started accusing him of favoring Joe over her, which he did admit was true, but it wasn’t like she was even trying to be likable with her “golden child” attitude. So, he asked the internet to explain to him who’s wrong here.
And it seems the internet was on OP’s side as it ruled him to not be the a-hole in this situation. For the most part, people were not only saying that he wasn’t the bad guy, but also that he went above and beyond by being a very good big brother, a role model who showed love and support more than most of us could say about our siblings.
People weren’t quick to judge OP, but they also saw hope in the sister—all she needed was the same love and support
There were those who, however, did say that Jill isn’t bad either—she is redeemable, and showing a bit more kindness and explaining the whole situation of how the parents playing favorites has led to how things are right now might be a key turning point in how she develops further. It was the parents who were to blame here.
It is important to note that there were some who related to this story all too much, being scapegoat kids as well, and were grateful the big brother took matters into his own hands.
The upvote button was slapped over 28,400 times for this post, and, to make things even more wholesome, it also got over 150 Reddit awards. You can read the post in context here, and you can also check out our other AITA articles here.
But before you go, tell us your thoughts on this situation in the comment section below!
I had a situation like this when I was growing up, but I was the "golden child" while my little brother was the scapegoat/bad boy. My next older sister went out of her way to hang out with him, despite a 10 year age difference. When we got a little older, she took him on road trips and helped him find part time jobs. I was hurt and resentful at first, but I quickly figured out that she was just levelling the playing field. I'm still grateful that she stepped in that way.
That's how a sane, compassionate person would see it. I'm glad that you understood the dynamic and what your sister was doing.
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I was Joe growing up. Nothing I did was ever good enough, but two brothers were the golden kids. I had a ton of aunts and uncles and a few recognized how differently my parents treated me so whenever they were in town they'd pay special attention to me. My parents put my brother through junior college because otherwise he wouldn't have gone. I got a full ride scholarship so the second theater conservatory in the country and they called me foolish for getting a useless degree. When I was in combat in the Army, they barely acknowledged I was there and never once asked me about it when I got home. The extra love from cousins and aunts saved me as a kid. When I came out as gay, they pretty much washed their hands of me.
"The extra love saved me as a kid." Being ghosted by your parents is deadly. OP probably saved Joe's life.
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I had a situation like this when I was growing up, but I was the "golden child" while my little brother was the scapegoat/bad boy. My next older sister went out of her way to hang out with him, despite a 10 year age difference. When we got a little older, she took him on road trips and helped him find part time jobs. I was hurt and resentful at first, but I quickly figured out that she was just levelling the playing field. I'm still grateful that she stepped in that way.
That's how a sane, compassionate person would see it. I'm glad that you understood the dynamic and what your sister was doing.
Load More Replies... I was Joe growing up. Nothing I did was ever good enough, but two brothers were the golden kids. I had a ton of aunts and uncles and a few recognized how differently my parents treated me so whenever they were in town they'd pay special attention to me. My parents put my brother through junior college because otherwise he wouldn't have gone. I got a full ride scholarship so the second theater conservatory in the country and they called me foolish for getting a useless degree. When I was in combat in the Army, they barely acknowledged I was there and never once asked me about it when I got home. The extra love from cousins and aunts saved me as a kid. When I came out as gay, they pretty much washed their hands of me.
"The extra love saved me as a kid." Being ghosted by your parents is deadly. OP probably saved Joe's life.
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