35 Times Twitter Users Shook Their Heads At The Things They Overheard At Work

If you add the first twenty to the second twenty you get forty. Which is completely without meaning. Just thought you should know.

That's a good one.

Damn!

True statement, though.

There was a man in the US who made it clear to the entire world that he was the dumbest person alive. He was so dumb that it took him 4 years and when his time was up he was too dumb to understand the meaning of "GET OUT!".

Easiest red flag ever. If you've been together a month and never been invited to meet his or her friends then you're being used.

I am going to start using resting code face.

I plane ticket to Switzerland please!

It doesn't!

Oh Texas. Don't want federal regulation on their power grid, kill people when the grid fails in a snow storm. Kill people when the grid fails in a heat wave. Kill people when they don't want federal guidance on a pandemic.

Well if there are a thousand puppies, that’s roughly three for every person who is bound to view this.

It doesn't matter. Less than a week later Trump the loser, lost bigly.

I sort of want to try this at my company, but there are several people who wouldn't question it...

I need to know which politician they're referring to

if it was possible, all of the world's problems cold be resolved in maybe a week

some of the fanboys are insane and get real mad if you steal their oc

I think the chicken soup they've been serving in hospital here is vegetarian. It must be because I have yet to find any chicken in it. The bread roll probably has more chicken content. At this point, I'd settle for a feather.

Wha .. oh wait.

I hear this often at work: "I think I need to get my eyes checked, cause I can't see myself coming in tomorrow".

and shamfart

Omg lawl. This person sounds fun.

This one made me snort : )

mushrooms are delish! I love taking portabellas and using them as crust for mini pizzas :)

Big Bird would be like 🦆.

You can have deez

Oops.

In the last year and a half, conspiracy theorists have multiplied like catholic rabbits.

...Millennials are in their 30s

As long as there's no hate behind it, it cracks me up whenever someone says 'the gays'. "You know who likes same-sex realtionships?.... The gays" lmao.

Joe Biden has the knobbliest knees I should think

*shrug* maybe I'm missing why it's crazy for someone not to be aware of "Finals" if they aren't into professional basketball

We don't?

Spoke gibberish, looked like Satan bunnies... checks out.

I gotta know.... Was there?

I DONT FIT IN A DRYER AND IM 5’ 1”!

You Brits have manners for sure.

Read the Amazon reviews for Death Wish Coffee. Thank me later.

Maybe they work in a nursing home?

#goals

You must be great at your job.

Well did he?

Really? OH SHIIIIII- *disintegrates into chalk*

When my knees are acting up it's not wise for me to use stairs, but other sports are okay...

Have they censored the word "pants" or...?

This isn't uncommon. Not a lot of restaurants want you buying someone else's food to celebrate their own grand opening. It does become...tiresome when you have groups who are forbidden to use the other's tools. Want to have fun - try to get an IBMer, Apple guy, and someone from Google together remotely and have them discuss how to make your banking app start showing transactions again after the update failed.

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubblegum.

Marketing is all about extracting as much money from customers as possible, everything else be damned.

The better it is...the less you'll sell!

Is this the same dude that thinks that dogs are boys and cats are girls?

An expert?

Of course there is. There's a statutorily-determined maximum amount of poop that can be in anything.

You can bet your butt it's already happened at least once.

Because people don't want to hear what terrific jobs they are doing, they want to hear that you hired a few people to help them.

Early instigations are that you might of done.

A man... A dream...no, I see your problem, it is tricky putting a positive slant on it.

I'll pass.

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