It’s time to get schwifty in here, Rick & Morty fans. The hit Adult Swim show keeps releasing one great season after another, and every time is worth the wait. The episode “Mort Dinner Rick Andre” was only the beginning of 10 new episodes from season 5 that left us begging for more. When the show first aired in 2013, the pilot episode received an overwhelmingly positive response, praised by critics and viewers alike.
It’s hard to believe that Rick & Morty has been on the air for almost 9 years now, but then again, it’s also hard to believe that a show that revolves around a cynical, misanthropic, and alcoholic genius with no regard for life or consequences could ever become so beloved. But it has. And though the show is known for its creativity and biting humor, fans and critics can agree that the show’s main characters, Rick and Morty themselves, are what ties all of these elements together in one of the most entertaining shows around today.
If you’re here, there are two possibilities: you found this article while scrolling around the internet, or you purposely searched for Rick & Morty quotes on your favorite search engine. But who cares how you landed here? You deserve to get to know more catchphrases from this incredible TV show. While we’re waiting for season 6, let’s take a look back at some of the best Rick and Morty quotes that made this animated series so iconic!
This post may include affiliate links.
“Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We’re all going to die. Come watch TV.” — Morty
“Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.” — Rick
“I’ll tell you how I feel about school, Jerry: It’s a waste of time. Bunch of people runnin’ around bumpin’ into each other, got a guy up front says, ‘Two plus two,’ and the people in the back say, ‘Four.’ Then the bell rings and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or somethin’. I mean, it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry. I know that’s not a popular opinion, but that’s my two cents on the issue.” — Rick
“Weddings are basically funerals with a cake.” — Rick
“My life has been a lie! God is dead! The government's lame! Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! Jesus wasn't born on Christmas! They moved the date, it was a pagan holiday!” - Morty Jr.
“You act like prey but you’re a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims. That’s how you survive!” - Rick
“Dad, am I evil?” “Worse. You’re smart.” - Beth and Rick
“I have English homework.” “You're still learning English? It's the language you speak. How dumb are you?” - Morty and Rick
“You’re the little brother. You’re not the cause of your parents’ misery, you’re just a symptom of it.” — Summer
A lot more messed up when you remember that Summer was supposed to be an abortion, and she knows it.
“When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. And I’ve never met a universe that was into it.” - Rick
“I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I’m bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my a**. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just working. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people … well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.” - Dr. Wong
“On one of our adventures, Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world, so we bailed on that reality and we came to this one because in this one, the world wasn't destroyed and in this one, we were dead. So we came here, a- a- and we buried ourselves and we took their place. And every morning, Summer, I eat breakfast twenty yards away from my own rotting corpse.” - Morty
“What, so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?” — Rick
“Boom! Big reveal! I turned myself into a pickle!” — Rick
“So what if he’s the devil, Rick? At least the devil has a job. At least he’s active in the community.” — Summer
“It's like the N word and the C word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.” - Rick
“To live is to risk it all; otherwise you’re just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.” — Rick
“Well, I don’t like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions.” — Rick
“Listen, I’m not the nicest guy in the universe, because I’m the smartest, and being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.” — Rick
“I’m a scientist; because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don’t like something about the world, I change it.” — Pickle Rick
“I’m sorry, but your opinion means very little to me.” — Rick
“Don’t get drawn into the culture, Morty. Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing.” — Rick
“You just looked right into the bleeding jaws of capitalism & said 'yes daddy, please.'” - Rick
“He’s not a hot girl. He can’t just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else’s.” — Beth
“Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad, Morty.” — Rick
“I don’t like it here, Morty. I can’t abide bureaucracy. I don’t like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?” — Rick
"The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them." - Rick
“Is evil real, and if so, can it be measured? Rhetorical question. The answer’s yes, you just have to be a genius.” - Rick
“I had nothing but time. Endless time. At first, it was madness. Then enlightenment. Then madness again. But perhaps it was a gift. I could see the life of the time. And as I watched the life of time in all its fleeting, terrible light, I wondered, had I lived? Was I just the object in another's story? Was that all I ever was? Could I be more? I had nothing but time and still no answer. Time without purpose is a prison. I have glimpsed into the mind of eternity. Perhaps the mind of God. And found nothing but silence.” - Jessica
“If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. We are who we are because of consequences. You can't live without consequences.” - Morty
“Tell me, Summer, if a human was born with stumpy legs, would they breed it with another deformed human and put their children on display like the Dachshund?” - Snowball
“Having a family doesn’t mean that you stop being an individual. You know the best thing you can do for the people that depend on you? Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free.” — Mr. Meeseeks
“How many of these are just horrible mistakes I made? I mean, maybe I’d stop making so many if I let myself learn from them.” — Morty
“I realize now that I'm attracted to you for the same reason I can't be with you: you can't change. And I have no problem with that, but it clearly means I have a problem with myself.” - Unity
“So I have an emo streak. It’s part of what makes me so rad.” — Rick
“And if anything goes wrong, which it won't, jump into the same vat of acid I jump into.” - Rick
“What are they mad at you for, anyway?” “Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything.” - Morty and Rick
“This pickle doesn’t care about your children. I’m not gonna take their dreams. I’m gonna take their parents.” — Rick
“If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself” — Jerry
“That’s because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carp’en all them ‘diems.” — Summer
“The reason anyone would, which they can't, is because they could, which they can't.” - Pickle Rick
“Don’t move. Gonorrhea can’t see us if we don’t move. Wait! I was wrong! I was thinking of a T. Rex.” — Rick
“Morty, I need your help on an adventure. Eh, ‘need’ is a strong word. We need door stops, but a brick would work too.” — Rick
“Unity, I’m sorry. I didn’t know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks. I was thinking more of a ‘choose your own cellphone carrier’ thing.” — Summer
“Traditionally, science fairs are a father-son thing.” “Well, scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing.” - Morty and Rick
“Existence is pain to a meeseeks Jerry, and we will do anything to alleviate that pain.” - Mr. Meeseeks
“Don't do it, guys! The casualties would be in the brazillions. Cause you're Brazilian? It's a threat and a pun! Nobody gets me.” - Rick
“So, time moves faster in there? Is it like a Narnia thing?” “I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty. But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing.” - Morty and Rick
“Someone out there is trying to kill us.” “Someone's always trying to kill us.” - Summer and Rick
“Honey, stop raising your father’s cholesterol so you can take a hot funeral selfie.” — Beth
“God’s turning people into insect monsters, Beth. I’m the one beating them to death. Thank me.” — Jerry
“Grandpa goes around, and he does his business in public because Grandpa isn’t shady.” - Rick
“Morty, get their weapons quick! I only had one of those things. I’m holding a carton of Tic-Tacs right now!” - Rick
“I know that new situations can be intimidating. You’re lookin’ around and it’s all scary and different, but y’know, meeting them head-on, charging into ‘em like a bull — that’s how we grow as people.” — Rick
“If I sounded a little defensive, it’s because Pirates of the Pancreas was my baby. I got a lot of push-back when I pitched it, Morty. I guess I’m still a little defensive.” - Rick
“What teenage girl has pictures of her family? It’s not like we’re mormon or dying.” - Summer
“Babylegs, you’re a good detective. But not good enough, because of your baby legs.” - Chief
“You’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut yet malleable.” — Rick
“Maybe people that create things aren’t concerned with your delicate sensibilities, y’know? Maybe the species that communicate with each other through the filter of your comfort are less evolved than the ones who just communicate. Maybe your problems are your own to deal with and maybe the public giving a s**t about your feelings is a one-way ticket to extinction.” - Morty
“Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet!” “Yeah, global warming is already doing that. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet.” - Mr. Nimbus and Rick
“Richard, you have desecrated the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea. Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe - Mr. Nimbus!” - Mr. Nimbus
"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a quick solo adventure to go on and this one will not be directed by Ron Howard." - Rick
“I’m Mr. Crowbar, and this is my friend, who is also a crowbar.” - Jerry
"That's stupid " * gets killed by Mr crowbar* moral of the story, Don't turn into a mantis monster after doing surgery on a horse with a married woman as the assistant who has a jealous ass husband at home.
“Mr. President, if I’ve learned one thing today it’s that sometimes you have to not give a f**k!” — Morty
“Hey listen, you know, if we’re all bored over here, wouldn’t the common denominator be you?” — Morty
“Don't break your back creating a lesson, Morty. It's a free-form anthology. I'm getting annoyed you're not hearing that.” - Rick
“You and Unity are like... like leggings and mid-calf boots. You think you're great together, but you're just bringing out the worst in each other.” - Summer
“Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity. They're no different from any of the aimless chumps that you occupy. They just put you at the center of their lives because you're powerful. And then, because they put you there, they want you to be less powerful. Never gonna happen though, right?” - Rick
“Uhm, should we maybe stop somewhere and get you a coffee? Maybe splash a little water on your face, or...?” “No, no. If I wanted to be sober, I wouldn't have gotten drunk.” - Morty and Unity
“Thank you, Morty. You are not like other carbon-based lifeforms. You put the value of all life above your own.” - Rick
“I think it's in our best interest to work as a team.” “Yeah, most people would call that 'family'.” - Summer and Morty
“I was just reading you.” “Congratulations on making it into print media. Real bright future there.” - Alien and Rick
“Hi Mr. Jellybean, I’m Morty. I’m on an adventure with my grandpa.” — Morty
“Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?” — Rick
“You don’t get to tell anyone what’s sad. You’re like a one-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.” — Rick
“Yeah, I’d like to order one large phone with extra phones, please.” “Cell phone. No-no-no-no, rotary! And pay phone on half.” - Interdimensional Pizza Toppings
“You know, we did something great today. There’s nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse.” - Rick
“We all remember you as a friend.” “Oh, really? Well, I remember you as a whiny little piece of s**t, Morty." - Morty and Rick
“I just killed my family! I don’t care who they were!” “I dunno, some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough.” - Morty and Rick
“It’s funny to say they are small. It’s funny to say they are big.” — Shrimply Pibbles
That wasn't... never mind, there's tons of misattributed quotes in this thing.
“Rubber baby bubby bunkers!” — Rick
“I love watching bukkake. I mean, like, I don't know if I would personally ever do it.” - Tammy
“No, no, I haven't seen that. I mean, why would a Pop-Tart want to live inside a toaster, Rick?” - Morty
“Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean, like, an exact replica?” - Morty
