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106
“AITA For Taking Back My Tip After The Waitress Humiliated Me In Front Of Everyone?”
Many would argue that tipping culture is out of control, while others say servers are underpaid and diners should be compassionate. Two things can be true at the same time. But what happens when the service is super shoddy and the waitress is rude and entitled to boot? Do you leave a tip? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Or perhaps the bare minimum…
One guy decided 10% was enough after receiving what he described as “really poor” service. To his surprise, the waitress berated him, publicly humiliated him, and called him a cheapskate. The customer retaliated in his own spiteful way. He’s given a full account of the incident online, but many are divided about whether he handled it the right way.
RELATED:
What was meant to be a romantic night out turned into a dinner disaster for one couple
Image credits: Yunus Tuğ (not the actual photo)
Not only did they receive terrible service, but they were publicly humiliated as well
Image credits: Golden Horn Bridge (not the actual photo)
Image source: LeJeb40
Most Americans aren’t always sure whether or how much to tip for various services
Only about a third of 12,000 Americans polled by the Pew Research Center say it’s extremely or very easy to know whether or how much to tip for different services. In short, most people are confused.
According to Investopedia, you should expect to tip in places like restaurants, bars, salons, and hotels. This includes servers, bartenders, hotel bellhops, delivery drivers, valet drivers, and more, they say, adding that it’s also customary to tip your hairstylist, nail artist, and food delivery driver.
“The actual tip amount varies depending on the service, but restaurants generally follow a 15% to 20% rule,” advises Investopedia. Qantas Airlines’ experts put the figure higher. “A gratuity of 20 to 25 per cent on top of the bill (before sales tax) is standard, with extra given for topnotch service,” reads the site.
Qantas explains that servers in America work hard for the money, adding that they’re “generally friendly, knowledgeable and willing to go the extra mile for customers.”
What happens when you receive shoddy service?
“If your expectations weren’t met, it’s acceptable to tip less than usual—some people may tip as low as 10%, but it’s advisable not to go below that,” advises Investopedia. “Be mindful of conditions out of your server’s control, like the kitchen running slow.”
The site adds that unless the service is totally terrible, you should not skip the tip for restaurant workers.
Bad service is unusual but it happens, says Qantas’ travel experts. But they, too, don’t advise not leaving a tip unless the service is utterly “dreadful.”
“Leaving just 10 per cent is a clear indication that the experience was not up to par,” notes the site. “If you really don’t think your waitperson deserves to be paid for their service, the best course of action is to explain to the restaurant manager why you’re not leaving a tip. If you depart without tipping or providing an explanation, your server will want to know why.”
“Ungrateful”: Many netizens felt the man did the right thing
But not everyone agreed, with some saying the guy could have handled the situation better
People came forward to share their own experiences dealing with “entitled” servers
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What do you think ?
Ellinor 4 months ago (edited)
NTA, I'm not familiar with how tipping works but for a rude service 10% doesn't seem that bad, but the waitress making a scene in front of everyone was just plain wrong. It's not the client's fault if waiters are not paid properly in some countries, it is the employer's fault. OP had every rights to took back the tip after the waitress's reaction.
Janelle Collard 4 months ago
Absolutely. OP could have escalated it + told the whole restaurant *why* it was only 10%.
Load More Replies...
StrangeOne 4 months ago
The waitress was being unprofessional for making a scene in the dining area. Doesn't matter what what she was going through that night, on or off the job, you don't take it out on other customers who were just there to have a nice date night. I know this might enrage the hard-core tipping culture supporters and bad server apologists, but she was lucky to have gotten a 10% tip. Any tip amount should be received nothing less than a thank you, or just silence and take it. How much or little a server is paid is an issue between the business and the staff. If servers really aren't getting paid a base rate, relying solely on tips, then perhaps restaurants should charge a flat rate service fee on top of their order, that is stated somewhere at the front and on menus. That way, people can still leave tips for excellent service. Also, even if customers are paying 25%+ tips, say $20 per table, and that money is divided up for multiple staff, no one would still being earning enough to pay rent.
Kit Black 4 months ago
She was hoping to guilt her other tables into tipping higher for her poor service...
Load More Replies...
Wang Zhuang 4 months ago
The YTA commenters are unbelievable. Based on her poor service, she was lucky to get the 10%, and she had the gall to complain? I think he didn't go far enough. I would have taken back the tip and then found her manager to let them know about her poor service and the humiliation.
Amanduh 4 months ago
I was a server in WI when servers earned $2.33/hr. I thought I was a good server and yet there were many times that I didn’t make s**t for tips. I never ever threw it back in the customer‘s face no matter how bad I wanted to.
Zoe Vokes 4 months ago
It’s insane how America can get away with not paying servers minimum wage legally. Tips should be a reward for good service on top of a liveable wage. But unless it’s a very quiet diner then surely being tipped 10% still means a server will earn a decent amount per hour. With the price of meals and how many tables a server works, I would assume that they should make good money even on 10%. (I’m not in America, just making a maths assumption),
Load More Replies...
Emilu 4 months ago (edited)
10% bonus for doing jack shìt? And then having the audacity to complain? I’d have taken that tip back too. I still loathe the concept of tipping and think it’s fraught (and would much sooner business owners actually just pay their staff properly like everyone else has to). But I will absolutely never reward bad behaviour; children or adults. OP is absolutely NTA, IMO. Edit: I've worked hospitality. I'm sure many, *many* people have worked hospitality. The clue's in the name. Admittedly, in Aus we get paid a proper wage, but treating a customer like @ss wouldn't go down well here either (surprise, right? /s). Do your job better if you want to be tipped. I would do that clapping thing but a) it's obnoxious and b) I'm lazy.
Scott Rackley 4 months ago
I served in high school and bartended in college. NTA. You half a*s the service, I half a*s the tip. End of discussion, in fact, there should be no discussion. You never bring up a tip with a patron, unless it's "thank you". Be professional.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
The low tip was for low level service. Tips are a reward for being on the ball, and if she depends upon it to pay her bills then maybe that ought to focus her on doing better. To then call out that customer, utterly unacceptable and fully justifies zero tip. [note: I'm a European, our staff get paid properly, so the waitress' financial struggles are not our problem; and I rather doubt that in the US the prices are somehow cheaper to cover for the fact that you're expected to pile some extra on top in order to pay the staff...something that really ought to be factored into the menu price]
Emilu 4 months ago
According to the receipt for the place that had the “living wage tax” or whatever it’s called, the US prices are comparable to what I’d expect to see here in Aus before state tax (we have GST which is automatically calculated before the final price is given) and excluding the “living wage tax” because you’d assumedly be tipping instead of paying that. So nope, not crazy cheap to counter needing to pay the staff’s wages.
Load More Replies...
Ben Aziza 4 months ago
Tipping is a way to make the customer and employee fight it out as the 95% higher echelon employer maniacally laughs in their evil lair. Laughing about how they can afford a yacht that has a little docking area for smaller yachts. Srsly tho a tip is supposed to be between individuals. The fact that in some countries it is factored in as part of the salary is insanity...
Janelle Collard 4 months ago (edited)
Not to be one of "those" people, but I would have asked for the manager to explain why I was unhappy with the service + the 10% tip. If managers don't know about a problem, they can't fix it. Not sure if I would have told the waitress in front of the whole restaurant *why* it was only a 10% tip but I would also have taken back. I worked in food service off + on starting when I was 16 so I'm familiar with how it works.
Gerry Higgins 4 months ago
She deserves no tip and a strongly worded email to the owner/manager about her behavior.
Michael Largey 4 months ago
"If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve." - Ashleigh Brilliant
Peeka_Mimi 4 months ago
I usually tip 20%. The other night at Texas Roadhouse with my family the waiter wasn't exactly present. So we only tipped 15%. Tip: To Insure Promptness.
Historyherstory (old guy) 4 months ago
Literally what it means. Often it's 30% cause it's over the top awesome. Got to really ruffle my feathers for 10%. Bartenders often more because they have to deal with bar patrons which is like hazard pay :) A imperfect system for a imperfect world.
Load More Replies...
Rebecca O’Donnell 4 months ago
Every time tipping culture is brought up, a lot of people state that businesses should pay a living wage. I would really appreciate how to go about that, sincerely. Can somebody come up with how to make all the restaurants that don’t pay a living wage to pay one?
Janissary35680 4 months ago
Easy: Change the part of the tax code that defines a "sub-minimum wage" and allows it to be paid to those who regularly earn gratuities in the performance of their jobs.
Load More Replies... 
Crystalwitch60 4 months ago
Having worked in hospitality for a long time like 45 yrs , till I couldn’t work , n my now24 yr old daughter works in our busy village pub , has done since she was 16 , I can honestly tell you here in uk in hospitality we pay PROPER WAGES , N TIPS ARE A LOVELY BONUS AT THE END OF THE MONTH n cash tips are now illegal lol ( mr bloody tax man says so ! ) what this server did was disgusting and trust me my daughter who’s assist manager would have fired her on the spot !, if she was working that day as would the owner n main manager to !! but then USA needs to pay their staff PROPERLY !! so NTA op , bad service demands no tip , that girl needs to learn somehow !!
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
Any server, having been one, gets a 20% tip for adequate, even borderline bad service. There's only been one time when the service was so bad that we left pennies to make a point. I do wish we had asked for the manager to explain our tip. This was beyond bad. Agree she deserved nothing, but like our situation, asking for the manager would have been appropriate. Being a server is not for her.
KatSaidWhat 4 months ago
Yeah, I'm not tipping for poor service. And especially if you want to humiliate me in front of the restaurant.
Rick Greene 4 months ago
I had a situation where the service was so bad that my friend suggested a 1 cent tip. I left 10%. We walked a out and the waiter pursued me, holding the small tray with the check and cash tip. "Excuse me sir, did you forget something?" "Oh yes" I said, "My change, thanks" as I raked it into my hand. I inadvertently reversed the humiliation attempt. 50 years ago and a friend brought it up just a couple of weeks ago.
Troy Parr 4 months ago
If she isn't going to stand up to her boss and call him a cheapskate then she should not be saying it to you. You don't employ her and you don't have to pay her wages. Her boss should be doing that because it's his business. Instead she's offending the owners customers which will cost him business. None of that is your fault. The owner is trying to run a business on the cheap, by not paying his employees properly.
Libstak 4 months ago
I have only ever been to America one time in my life in the early 1990s to Hawaii. I was told and experienced with locals that we dined out with as well that standard tipping is 10%. When did 20 and 30% become the demand? I don't get it. 3 tables an hour at 10% would put the vast majority of servers well above ave wages, at this point I feel it has all become a grift by both the restaurant and the servers.
Rebecca O’Donnell 4 months ago
Libstak, the 1990s was 35 years ago. Prices of everything have gone up considerably since then.
Load More Replies...
Janissary35680 4 months ago
Not necessarily. I've worked tables myself. Pretty soon you can tell how much to the penny is on the table with just a fleeting glance. 🤫
Load More Replies... Ellinor 4 months ago (edited)
NTA, I'm not familiar with how tipping works but for a rude service 10% doesn't seem that bad, but the waitress making a scene in front of everyone was just plain wrong. It's not the client's fault if waiters are not paid properly in some countries, it is the employer's fault. OP had every rights to took back the tip after the waitress's reaction.
Janelle Collard 4 months ago
Absolutely. OP could have escalated it + told the whole restaurant *why* it was only 10%.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 4 months ago
The waitress was being unprofessional for making a scene in the dining area. Doesn't matter what what she was going through that night, on or off the job, you don't take it out on other customers who were just there to have a nice date night. I know this might enrage the hard-core tipping culture supporters and bad server apologists, but she was lucky to have gotten a 10% tip. Any tip amount should be received nothing less than a thank you, or just silence and take it. How much or little a server is paid is an issue between the business and the staff. If servers really aren't getting paid a base rate, relying solely on tips, then perhaps restaurants should charge a flat rate service fee on top of their order, that is stated somewhere at the front and on menus. That way, people can still leave tips for excellent service. Also, even if customers are paying 25%+ tips, say $20 per table, and that money is divided up for multiple staff, no one would still being earning enough to pay rent.
Kit Black 4 months ago
She was hoping to guilt her other tables into tipping higher for her poor service...
Load More Replies... Wang Zhuang 4 months ago
The YTA commenters are unbelievable. Based on her poor service, she was lucky to get the 10%, and she had the gall to complain? I think he didn't go far enough. I would have taken back the tip and then found her manager to let them know about her poor service and the humiliation.
Amanduh 4 months ago
I was a server in WI when servers earned $2.33/hr. I thought I was a good server and yet there were many times that I didn’t make s**t for tips. I never ever threw it back in the customer‘s face no matter how bad I wanted to.
Zoe Vokes 4 months ago
It’s insane how America can get away with not paying servers minimum wage legally. Tips should be a reward for good service on top of a liveable wage. But unless it’s a very quiet diner then surely being tipped 10% still means a server will earn a decent amount per hour. With the price of meals and how many tables a server works, I would assume that they should make good money even on 10%. (I’m not in America, just making a maths assumption),
Load More Replies... Emilu 4 months ago (edited)
10% bonus for doing jack shìt? And then having the audacity to complain? I’d have taken that tip back too. I still loathe the concept of tipping and think it’s fraught (and would much sooner business owners actually just pay their staff properly like everyone else has to). But I will absolutely never reward bad behaviour; children or adults. OP is absolutely NTA, IMO. Edit: I've worked hospitality. I'm sure many, *many* people have worked hospitality. The clue's in the name. Admittedly, in Aus we get paid a proper wage, but treating a customer like @ss wouldn't go down well here either (surprise, right? /s). Do your job better if you want to be tipped. I would do that clapping thing but a) it's obnoxious and b) I'm lazy.
Scott Rackley 4 months ago
I served in high school and bartended in college. NTA. You half a*s the service, I half a*s the tip. End of discussion, in fact, there should be no discussion. You never bring up a tip with a patron, unless it's "thank you". Be professional.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
The low tip was for low level service. Tips are a reward for being on the ball, and if she depends upon it to pay her bills then maybe that ought to focus her on doing better. To then call out that customer, utterly unacceptable and fully justifies zero tip. [note: I'm a European, our staff get paid properly, so the waitress' financial struggles are not our problem; and I rather doubt that in the US the prices are somehow cheaper to cover for the fact that you're expected to pile some extra on top in order to pay the staff...something that really ought to be factored into the menu price]
Emilu 4 months ago
According to the receipt for the place that had the “living wage tax” or whatever it’s called, the US prices are comparable to what I’d expect to see here in Aus before state tax (we have GST which is automatically calculated before the final price is given) and excluding the “living wage tax” because you’d assumedly be tipping instead of paying that. So nope, not crazy cheap to counter needing to pay the staff’s wages.
Load More Replies... Ben Aziza 4 months ago
Tipping is a way to make the customer and employee fight it out as the 95% higher echelon employer maniacally laughs in their evil lair. Laughing about how they can afford a yacht that has a little docking area for smaller yachts. Srsly tho a tip is supposed to be between individuals. The fact that in some countries it is factored in as part of the salary is insanity...
Janelle Collard 4 months ago (edited)
Not to be one of "those" people, but I would have asked for the manager to explain why I was unhappy with the service + the 10% tip. If managers don't know about a problem, they can't fix it. Not sure if I would have told the waitress in front of the whole restaurant *why* it was only a 10% tip but I would also have taken back. I worked in food service off + on starting when I was 16 so I'm familiar with how it works.
Gerry Higgins 4 months ago
She deserves no tip and a strongly worded email to the owner/manager about her behavior.
Michael Largey 4 months ago
"If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve." - Ashleigh Brilliant
Peeka_Mimi 4 months ago
I usually tip 20%. The other night at Texas Roadhouse with my family the waiter wasn't exactly present. So we only tipped 15%. Tip: To Insure Promptness.
Historyherstory (old guy) 4 months ago
Literally what it means. Often it's 30% cause it's over the top awesome. Got to really ruffle my feathers for 10%. Bartenders often more because they have to deal with bar patrons which is like hazard pay :) A imperfect system for a imperfect world.
Load More Replies... Rebecca O’Donnell 4 months ago
Every time tipping culture is brought up, a lot of people state that businesses should pay a living wage. I would really appreciate how to go about that, sincerely. Can somebody come up with how to make all the restaurants that don’t pay a living wage to pay one?
Janissary35680 4 months ago
Easy: Change the part of the tax code that defines a "sub-minimum wage" and allows it to be paid to those who regularly earn gratuities in the performance of their jobs.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 4 months ago
Having worked in hospitality for a long time like 45 yrs , till I couldn’t work , n my now24 yr old daughter works in our busy village pub , has done since she was 16 , I can honestly tell you here in uk in hospitality we pay PROPER WAGES , N TIPS ARE A LOVELY BONUS AT THE END OF THE MONTH n cash tips are now illegal lol ( mr bloody tax man says so ! ) what this server did was disgusting and trust me my daughter who’s assist manager would have fired her on the spot !, if she was working that day as would the owner n main manager to !! but then USA needs to pay their staff PROPERLY !! so NTA op , bad service demands no tip , that girl needs to learn somehow !!
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
Any server, having been one, gets a 20% tip for adequate, even borderline bad service. There's only been one time when the service was so bad that we left pennies to make a point. I do wish we had asked for the manager to explain our tip. This was beyond bad. Agree she deserved nothing, but like our situation, asking for the manager would have been appropriate. Being a server is not for her.
KatSaidWhat 4 months ago
Yeah, I'm not tipping for poor service. And especially if you want to humiliate me in front of the restaurant.
Rick Greene 4 months ago
I had a situation where the service was so bad that my friend suggested a 1 cent tip. I left 10%. We walked a out and the waiter pursued me, holding the small tray with the check and cash tip. "Excuse me sir, did you forget something?" "Oh yes" I said, "My change, thanks" as I raked it into my hand. I inadvertently reversed the humiliation attempt. 50 years ago and a friend brought it up just a couple of weeks ago.
Troy Parr 4 months ago
If she isn't going to stand up to her boss and call him a cheapskate then she should not be saying it to you. You don't employ her and you don't have to pay her wages. Her boss should be doing that because it's his business. Instead she's offending the owners customers which will cost him business. None of that is your fault. The owner is trying to run a business on the cheap, by not paying his employees properly.
Libstak 4 months ago
I have only ever been to America one time in my life in the early 1990s to Hawaii. I was told and experienced with locals that we dined out with as well that standard tipping is 10%. When did 20 and 30% become the demand? I don't get it. 3 tables an hour at 10% would put the vast majority of servers well above ave wages, at this point I feel it has all become a grift by both the restaurant and the servers.
Rebecca O’Donnell 4 months ago
Libstak, the 1990s was 35 years ago. Prices of everything have gone up considerably since then.
Load More Replies... Janissary35680 4 months ago
Not necessarily. I've worked tables myself. Pretty soon you can tell how much to the penny is on the table with just a fleeting glance. 🤫
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