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Someone On Tumblr Explains Why People Divorce, And 1,480,000 People Agree
What is love? This is a burning question that people have pondered over for centuries, inspiring some of the greatest works of art in human history (and 90’s Eurodance singer Haddaway). Yet still, we don’t really know. Sure, science has answered many questions in terms of chemical and hormonal reactions, attraction and the need for companionship, but that doesn’t much help us in terms of how to negotiate our own emotions and relationships.
25-year-old poet Taylor Myers, from Dayton, Ohio, decided to share her thoughts on the matter while plumbing the emotional depths of bitterness from a difficult experience. Her post, raw, fearful and full of regret, touched many people who had experienced the shocking contrasts between the intense, burning adoration of young love, and the cold ashes of realism that remain once the fire has faded.
Later on, perhaps in a less turbulent emotional state and seeking to add some balance to her unexpectedly viral prose, Taylor went back to add a more heartwarming lesson she learned in her ‘Relationships for Life’ class. Once again her words went viral, but this time for different reasons. “The reaction blew me away,” Taylor told Bored Panda. “I still get messages weekly from people telling me how it affected them, how it saved their relationship, or how it gave them the strength to walk away from someone that was holding them back. It blows my mind to know that something I created has touched so many people across the world, has urged them to come to me for advice or clarification or just a listening ear.”
Many people have asked or commented on the ‘Relationships for Life’ class that Taylor referred to, often with a dose of skepticism. Taylor found it to be invaluable however, and if you think about it, why shouldn’t we all learn more about something that will become one of the very foundations of our lives? “That class without a doubt molded the way I view and handle all my relationships, romantic or otherwise,” Taylor told us. “And I think they’re all healthier and more transparent because of that class. It should be taught everywhere.”
Scroll down below to check out Taylor’s eloquent writing for yourself, and let us know what you think in the comments!
RELATED:
This is 25-year-old poet Taylor Myers
She shared her deep and unusual fear about love
And people agreed with her
She later came back to her post but with a different perspective
Here’s how people reacted to her heartfelt post
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What do you think ?
Yvonne Bernal 7 years ago
I recommend for people to stay single until someone actually COMPLIMENTS your life in a way that makes it better not to be single. Otherwise, it's not worth it.
RJ Oliver 7 years ago
I disagree. Love is an emotion, a feeling, one usually confused with other transient emotions. The choice comes in the commitment to the relationship. You can love without commitment or have commitment without love. The former won't last, the latter will. Love with commitment is the whole package.
Rosie Hamilton 7 years ago
I 100% agree with you. Love is an emotion, a relationship takes commitment. People get swept up by pretty weddings but don't think about marriage. Get their priorities wrong.
Load More Replies...
Chuck Bartowski 7 years ago
Reminds me of a Thomas S. Monson quote: "Choose your love; love your choice." How often do we forget that love is like a rose; it must be continually nurtured in order to prosper? (At least where I live. Plant and leave it? Forget about it. It'll be dead within the week."
Agnes Jekyll 7 years ago
I chose love, despite his increasingly cruel behaviour because I thought if I did, he would return to behaving as he did in the beginning of our relationship. I chose love as he insulted and criticized me. I saw his cruelty, and I just held on. I'm thankful he left, but now I wish I hadn't chosen love.
Rosie Hamilton 7 years ago
You fell in love with a person who didn't exist. He chose to hide who he was & entrap you. People like that enjoy the control & will pick someone who won't give up on the relationship. Even when people fall out of love their basic personality doesn't change - they don't suddenly become cruel. Disinterested maybe, but they don't start hitting. You fell for a mirage & it was a deliberate act on his part. Anyone in a relationship where the person gradually becomes more controlling & cruel, leave & do it sooner rather than later. Before the person has a chance to damage you. Leave & be clear that you won't ever go back. I'm sorry it happened to you but don't mistake someone being 'strong' & 'protective' for love. Real strength & protection is allowing you freedom, helping you to do your own thing but always able to come to you if you need them at a moments notice. They know you'll come back after a night with friends & won't need to be with you at all times.
Load More Replies...
Colin Bayler 7 years ago
Bottom line: take the time to REALLY know the person and don't brush off warning signs or negative gut feelings.
Aunt Messy 7 years ago
Another tip about getting married - if you have even the slightest hint of a doubt about getting married, if you have even ONE second thought...then don't do it. Wait if you must, break it off if you need to, but DO NOT marry someone that you have any doubt about. /// Put it this way. If you do decide to wait - if you really love each other a year will make no difference at all. If someone is pressuring you not to wait, or if they give you an ultimatum, then run as fast as you can and count yourself lucky that you dodged that bullet.
Load More Replies...
Douglas Peterson 7 years ago
Get to know yourself and develop your inner strength so you can set healthy fair boundaries on what you will not tolerate, for example "I will not tolerate you personally insulting me just because you are angry." Healthy boundaries, talked out in a loving way, strengthen a relationship.
Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Trouble is with that, though it is spot on, is that someone at 18 or so will insist they do know themselves and do have inner strength. Some will, some won't.
Load More Replies...
Bonita Bielawski 7 years ago
Yes. I know. Haha. That is not poetry at all!! More like a diary page. Hehe
Load More Replies... Mika N 7 years ago
I love that she mentions choosing someone she believes will make that choice to commit as well. Like some of her comments said, if you're willing but they aren't it still may not work. I've heard people talk about the importance of being willing to work at it and choose love, but not usually how that's such an important quality to keep in mind and look for in a future spouse as well!
Night Owl 7 years ago
True. Both partners have to be willing to choose to commit to each other (and to at least a similar degree), otherwise it won't work. They also both have to make that choice over and over again for the relationship to last which means they have to be enduring. You have to keep that in mind when looking for someone to have a long term relationship with
Load More Replies...
Daria B 7 years ago
Here's a tip too: live together before marriage. If you're gonna choose a person to give yourself to and spend the rest of your life with, you should choose well. There's no better way to find out whether you two fit togethet than to actually try and live that lifestyle. Then, if things go well, you can marry (if you want) and/or have kids. But if you see you don't want that kind of life that happens with this person, you can talk it out, and split if that's what's best for both of you.
Aunt Messy 7 years ago
Thank you! I keep saying this and people say it's "unromantic". LIFE isn't "romantic". Life is fun, difficult, stressful, scary, and all-encompassing. You don't want a "prince" or someone to "sweep you off your feet". You want the guy (or girl) who will be there when you're at your worst. We DON'T wear makeup all the time, and we get sick, or cranky, or hurt and we NEED our partners to be there, even if they don't need to do anything in particular. /// My husband and I have been together for 33 years. He is my heart. I would kill to save him, and I would die to do the same. He would do the same for me. That has never changed. /// But we lived together for five years before we got married, otherwise we never would have known that about each other.
Load More Replies...
Rafaella Bueno 7 years ago
Any relationship is the same in that department. It's how you can stay friends with people who no longer love the exact same things you do or share the same activities, it's how you can stay close to siblings after you each go your separate ways and no longer have things in common, it's how you continue to care for your parents even long after you have any actual need for them in your life, just because you want them in it. It's easy to have a relationship with someone who is close by, or that have similar tastes. Once you drift apart, continuing to have a relationship is always a choice.
Viviane Katz 7 years ago
Great wisdom there, Rafaella Bueno. My husband and I share many tastes, but differ in a few areas. It's cool. He's allowed to play softball (and badly) and I'm allowed to get up early on weekends to go hiking with a group. I appreciate his setting the alarm on weekends and I'm fine with him spending an evening with his team (the aptly named Bench Warmers), which includes going for drinks after a game.
Load More Replies... Yvonne Bernal 7 years ago
I recommend for people to stay single until someone actually COMPLIMENTS your life in a way that makes it better not to be single. Otherwise, it's not worth it.
RJ Oliver 7 years ago
I disagree. Love is an emotion, a feeling, one usually confused with other transient emotions. The choice comes in the commitment to the relationship. You can love without commitment or have commitment without love. The former won't last, the latter will. Love with commitment is the whole package.
Rosie Hamilton 7 years ago
I 100% agree with you. Love is an emotion, a relationship takes commitment. People get swept up by pretty weddings but don't think about marriage. Get their priorities wrong.
Load More Replies... Chuck Bartowski 7 years ago
Reminds me of a Thomas S. Monson quote: "Choose your love; love your choice." How often do we forget that love is like a rose; it must be continually nurtured in order to prosper? (At least where I live. Plant and leave it? Forget about it. It'll be dead within the week."
Agnes Jekyll 7 years ago
I chose love, despite his increasingly cruel behaviour because I thought if I did, he would return to behaving as he did in the beginning of our relationship. I chose love as he insulted and criticized me. I saw his cruelty, and I just held on. I'm thankful he left, but now I wish I hadn't chosen love.
Rosie Hamilton 7 years ago
You fell in love with a person who didn't exist. He chose to hide who he was & entrap you. People like that enjoy the control & will pick someone who won't give up on the relationship. Even when people fall out of love their basic personality doesn't change - they don't suddenly become cruel. Disinterested maybe, but they don't start hitting. You fell for a mirage & it was a deliberate act on his part. Anyone in a relationship where the person gradually becomes more controlling & cruel, leave & do it sooner rather than later. Before the person has a chance to damage you. Leave & be clear that you won't ever go back. I'm sorry it happened to you but don't mistake someone being 'strong' & 'protective' for love. Real strength & protection is allowing you freedom, helping you to do your own thing but always able to come to you if you need them at a moments notice. They know you'll come back after a night with friends & won't need to be with you at all times.
Load More Replies... Colin Bayler 7 years ago
Bottom line: take the time to REALLY know the person and don't brush off warning signs or negative gut feelings.
Aunt Messy 7 years ago
Another tip about getting married - if you have even the slightest hint of a doubt about getting married, if you have even ONE second thought...then don't do it. Wait if you must, break it off if you need to, but DO NOT marry someone that you have any doubt about. /// Put it this way. If you do decide to wait - if you really love each other a year will make no difference at all. If someone is pressuring you not to wait, or if they give you an ultimatum, then run as fast as you can and count yourself lucky that you dodged that bullet.
Load More Replies... Douglas Peterson 7 years ago
Get to know yourself and develop your inner strength so you can set healthy fair boundaries on what you will not tolerate, for example "I will not tolerate you personally insulting me just because you are angry." Healthy boundaries, talked out in a loving way, strengthen a relationship.
Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Trouble is with that, though it is spot on, is that someone at 18 or so will insist they do know themselves and do have inner strength. Some will, some won't.
Load More Replies... Bonita Bielawski 7 years ago
Yes. I know. Haha. That is not poetry at all!! More like a diary page. Hehe
Load More Replies... Mika N 7 years ago
I love that she mentions choosing someone she believes will make that choice to commit as well. Like some of her comments said, if you're willing but they aren't it still may not work. I've heard people talk about the importance of being willing to work at it and choose love, but not usually how that's such an important quality to keep in mind and look for in a future spouse as well!
Night Owl 7 years ago
True. Both partners have to be willing to choose to commit to each other (and to at least a similar degree), otherwise it won't work. They also both have to make that choice over and over again for the relationship to last which means they have to be enduring. You have to keep that in mind when looking for someone to have a long term relationship with
Load More Replies... Daria B 7 years ago
Here's a tip too: live together before marriage. If you're gonna choose a person to give yourself to and spend the rest of your life with, you should choose well. There's no better way to find out whether you two fit togethet than to actually try and live that lifestyle. Then, if things go well, you can marry (if you want) and/or have kids. But if you see you don't want that kind of life that happens with this person, you can talk it out, and split if that's what's best for both of you.
Aunt Messy 7 years ago
Thank you! I keep saying this and people say it's "unromantic". LIFE isn't "romantic". Life is fun, difficult, stressful, scary, and all-encompassing. You don't want a "prince" or someone to "sweep you off your feet". You want the guy (or girl) who will be there when you're at your worst. We DON'T wear makeup all the time, and we get sick, or cranky, or hurt and we NEED our partners to be there, even if they don't need to do anything in particular. /// My husband and I have been together for 33 years. He is my heart. I would kill to save him, and I would die to do the same. He would do the same for me. That has never changed. /// But we lived together for five years before we got married, otherwise we never would have known that about each other.
Load More Replies... Rafaella Bueno 7 years ago
Any relationship is the same in that department. It's how you can stay friends with people who no longer love the exact same things you do or share the same activities, it's how you can stay close to siblings after you each go your separate ways and no longer have things in common, it's how you continue to care for your parents even long after you have any actual need for them in your life, just because you want them in it. It's easy to have a relationship with someone who is close by, or that have similar tastes. Once you drift apart, continuing to have a relationship is always a choice.
Viviane Katz 7 years ago
Great wisdom there, Rafaella Bueno. My husband and I share many tastes, but differ in a few areas. It's cool. He's allowed to play softball (and badly) and I'm allowed to get up early on weekends to go hiking with a group. I appreciate his setting the alarm on weekends and I'm fine with him spending an evening with his team (the aptly named Bench Warmers), which includes going for drinks after a game.
Load More Replies... You May Like 128 Short Love Quotes To Melt Your Partner’s Heart 150 Self-Love Quotes To Help You Be Kind To Yourself 101 Anniversary Quotes To Celebrate The Special Day
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