Person Wonders Online: “What Screams ‘This Couple Isn’t Going To Last Long’?” – Receives 30 Answers
"Without family, you've got nothing," said Dom Toretto from the Fast And Furious movie, and indeed - if you have a good atmosphere in your family, it will allow you to last a long, very long time (well, in the case of the Toretto family - as many as eleven films). But sometimes it happens that a couple still lives together, but literally everyone around understands - they won't last long.
Psychologists say that there are many signs by which you can almost infallibly determine that a couple will soon break up. However, even ordinary people around us can identify many of these signs as well. This collection, made for you by Bored Panda, is dedicated to these subtle signs exactly.
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A large gaudy wedding in Venice that’s blocked by protestors.
One (or both) are constantly "testing" the relationship. If you feel the need to test someone all the time, then you probably shouldn't be with them because you clearly don't trust them.
When they are constantly arguing. It means s**t is going down behind the scenes and they’re constantly on edge with each other. Fighting in front of friends and family because they don’t care to hide it.
There is a thread in the AskReddit community, created a couple of days ago by a person who asked netizens the question: "What screams 'this couple isn't going to last long'?" As a result, in just three days, 11K upvotes and over 2.4K different comments were collected. As we can see, the discussion turned out to be rather heated - and sometimes, not always polite among the participants.
The thing is that people have completely different opinions, and different temperaments - so what one person may consider just an insignificant spat between partners, will seem almost a harbinger of the family Apocalypse for another. However, we have selected the most popular points of view from this thread, so it should be really interesting.
When they say something like "we thought having another kid would bring us closer together.".
Of course, we are all completely different people, and any relationship, or any marriage, is always an emotional tuning in of two people to one another - an attempt to find compromises in many things, from the color of the curtains on the windows, to politics and having kids. On the other hand, almost every relationship will inevitably, at one stage or another, face quarrels and misunderstandings.
The thing is that even if we feel, literally on the first date, that this is "our kind of person,” it's far from a fact that we'll feel the same after, for example, a year or two of being together. In addition, sharing one roof has a significant impact on the emotional climate in a couple. Very often - it has a destructive impact, to be honest.
Your heart may stop from discussing your favorite TV series together on a romantic walk - but then it turns out that this same person, for example, forgets to flush the toilet - this happens, and often. After this, you must agree, it's rather difficult to maintain the same, sublimely romantic attitude towards the person...
When they have to keep telling everybody else how much they love each other.
Sounds like my parents, the way they talk about each other to their kids makes it seem like they hate each other but then they completely flip around the next second and act as though nothing’s wrong. It’s emotionally exhausting just being around them
Absolute lack of communication. This is coming from someone that got divorced a year and a half ago and what led to that divorce was a complete lack of communication on her part.
The inability to voice your concerns or just about anything will destroy a relationship or a marriage.
Whoever reads this I cannot stress to you how important it is to have a clear line of communication with your significant other from the beginning…
Sigh.
They make jokes to hurt one another. Seriously, just break up.
My parents used to joke about threatening to either beat the other or get divorced, no wonder their kids are messed up
However, it is not so much the quarrels as our reaction to them - this is what actually determines how successful this tuning in to each other will be, and whether we'll justify the vow to be together till our last days, in joy and sorrow.
Sometimes, everything goes well, and other times, people become embittered against each other, start insulting and taking offense, and turn on the cynicism and sarcasm - then the problems can begin...
When it’s founded on cheating on their last partner.
It's crazy that you would be with someone, let alone trust them, when they cheated to be with you. As if that won't happen to YOU
Both of them think they can fix the other... and not in compatible ways.
There's the old joke that the groom thinks his bride will never change and the bride thinks she can change the groom but they're both wrong
By the way, some experts cite another indicator that may mean a future breakup of any couple - if the number of family scandals per month regularly exceeds the number of moments of intimacy - this is a problem. A big problem. Of course, this greatly depends on the age and temperament of the people in the couple, but on average, this technique actually works.
In any case, it seems to us that it's always worth maintaining a positive outlook on things, trying to find the advantages in your partner, and not looking for shortcomings - and, of course, expecting the same from them. Expect, but do not demand - this is also incredibly important.
There have been studies suggesting that expensive weddings with fewer guests attending are associated with a higher likelihood of divorce, whereas cheaper weddings with a larger guest list tend to be linked to longer-lasting marriages.
When “We need to talk. It’s about us and it’s important” is met with “Can we talk about this next week?”.
Lack of respect.
Of course, none of us are perfect or sinless, and sometimes, it really happens that it's way easier to break up in time and go your separate ways, without continuing to "torment" each other. In that case, this selection may also be useful for you.
Or, you can simply see some alarming signals for yourself just in time - and react promptly so that everything turns out for the better. After all, the more we know, the better we can react to the problem, right?
John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, found that the “Four Horsemen” (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) are strong predictors of divorce.
Partners who agree on core values (children, religion, finances, lifestyle) report higher marital satisfaction and stability.
Different opinions on having children.
When they disrespect each other in front of friends in a joking manner. It’s fine when couples banter, but when they take real jabs at each other in public you can tell they aren’t going to last long.
I'm one of those fussy people who wants to straighten crooked collars or remove a fuzzy on a sleeve, from everybody... My husband thought it was hilarious when he noticed a string on my face once and allowed me to go through the whole grocery store with it there. My late husband didn't have much malice in him because that's as bad as he ever got. I sure miss him.
When they say they want to add a third person to fix things.
As the unicorn that was hunted once and as the person who had a partner attempt to open the relationship without my consent and one (to his credit) ask to open the relationship (and we lose credit here) “for my sake” if you’re going to be poly, let everyone know the situation AT THE BEGINNING and don’t try to do it to save anything. Poly is a lifestyle, not a bandaid for monogamous people
Also apologies if I said anything rude about poly people. I work hard NOT to let my experiences make me hate all poly people but I know it’s just NOT for me.
Having a reality show
The “perfect couple” IG aesthetic
Matching tattoos
Keeping social media in your personal business, running to broadcast your problems/issues & all the makeups & breakups in between.
I'm not sure how having matching tattoos fits in with the rest. Unless you're putting the tattoo session on IG?
Public verbal abuse.
Honestly? When a girl who’s a moron and a guy who’s also a moron get together, it’s only a matter of time until those two trains collide lol.
My sister in law is currently in a new relationship with a guy a little under 8 months and they are already talking marriage/babies. I just spent the past 4 days with them and he really really likes to poke s**t, she says “oh arguing is just a part of his personality”. I really hope she knows what she’s doing.
In my head this means she is with him for looks because his personality appears to be devoid.
Huge fights in the first month, that’s the honeymoon phase yall should be having a blast.
When they get way too serious way too quickly, like moving in with someone after dating them for two months. Bit of a recipe for disaster (although I’m sure it’ll have worked out for some people).
When your partner prefers to spend time with their friend and not with you. Ps: this currently happens to me and that was just a guess. It's really a bad sign, is it?
I'm all for partners having friends, but when it's to the exclusion of the partner, yes, it's a bad sign.
If you've got a partner that endlessly holds grudges, I send you my sincere condolences.
When they’re on Reddit asking if they’re the a*****e because their idea of what’s fair for a 50/50 split of the domestic and household responsibilities doesn’t match their partner’s. .
Any reddit or dear abby or other post that begins "My partner is perfect....except for one little thing......"
Joint fb accounts lol.
Yes and no, my high school friend and her husbands account started when fb started, they had a joint MySpace 😂 they are the cutest couple ever
When they say that relationships require work, it really means that relationships require attention. It shouldn't be hard and miserable to be with your partner, and if it is, and communication doesn't change things, it's time to move on.
No, they mean it requires work. It's not enough to pay close attention to why it's failing and not doing anything about it
Load More Replies...When you go to your mates for dinner, he's out and the place is in a bit of a state but both of them are OCD level clean usually... and it's not just a one day old state. I called that one to another friend and they did indeed announce it a few weeks later.
When they say that relationships require work, it really means that relationships require attention. It shouldn't be hard and miserable to be with your partner, and if it is, and communication doesn't change things, it's time to move on.
No, they mean it requires work. It's not enough to pay close attention to why it's failing and not doing anything about it
Load More Replies...When you go to your mates for dinner, he's out and the place is in a bit of a state but both of them are OCD level clean usually... and it's not just a one day old state. I called that one to another friend and they did indeed announce it a few weeks later.
