Woman Is Incredibly Enraged After 18 Y.O. Girl Refuses To Sleep Over With Her Son Of Same Age
Interview With Expert
If your school years are long gone by now, I believe most of us still remember the feeling of being paired with somebody and the rumors circulating around. But whether it was nice or not, it also depended on who we had been paired with. If that person was, in fact our crush – well, that was nice, but if we didn’t really like that person – most of the time we wanted to avoid them just to stop the rumors spinning around.
This 18-year-old woman encountered a similar situation – she turned down a sleepover with her autistic neighbor even though, in the past, it wouldn’t have been a problem. However, due to the rumors and constant pairing up at school, she rejected the idea and the whole situation caused quite a bit of drama.
More info: Reddit
Sadly, most of us probably still care what other people think and what they are going to say in various situations
Image credits: KoolShooters (not the actual photo)
This 18 Y.O. has an autistic neighbor who is also her classmate, whom she has known for about 3 years as his parents used to ask her to help him with schoolwork
However, not long ago, she found out that he has a crush on her; despite feeling awkward at first, she got over it until it spiraled into a rumor and constant pairing at school
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
The neighbor’s parents were going out of town and asked her to sleep over at his place – she noted that before, it wouldn’t have been an issue, but now she felt uncomfortable
Image credits: SubstantialRow550
After she explained the reasons to his parents, his mom got pissed at her for being disgusted by her son’s feelings because he is autistic
Recently, a Reddit user took her story online asking community members if she was being a jerk for rejecting her neighbors’ sleepover request with their autistic son due to rumors and the two of them often being paired in high school. The post received a lot of folks’ attention and collected more than 6.2K upvotes and almost 900 comments.
The original poster (OP) started her story by explaining she has an autistic neighbor, who is also her classmate, so sometimes his parents asked OP to help him with schoolwork. However, a few months ago, she learned that he has a crush on her. She noted that she was able to get over feeling awkward about it, but due to his interactions, it spiraled into a rumor where even their teacher kept pairing her with him.
Now, she shared that a few days ago, his parents were going out of town and asked her to sleep over at his place. She emphasized that before, it wouldn’t have been an issue as she would sleep in a guest room, but due to rumors at school, she refused. After the neighbor’s mom’s pressing questions as to why she doesn’t want to stay over, she finally told her the truth, which caused a lot of drama.
OP shared that his mom got pissed at her, accused her of being disgusted by her son’s feelings because he is autistic and of assuming that he would do something horrible. The young woman emphasized that she wouldn’t call his parents’ reaction horrible, as he may have been bullied before.
Community members gave the woman the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge in this situation and discussed that it’s inappropriate. “Autistic or not, why are these parents pressuring a girl to sleep over at their son’s house. She said no. That’s all they needed to hear,” one user emphasized. “The mother is wildly out of line. You have EVERY right to decline an invitation to spend the night somewhere that is uncomfortable for you,” another added.
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
“Individuals with ASD experience the world differently,” an expert told Bored Panda – they requested to stay anonymous, but work with adults that have intellectual and developmental disabilities. “One key aspect is that they might struggle with social cues and non-verbal communication,” they added. Also, reading between the lines, catching subtle hints, or understanding unspoken social signals can be challenging.
“He’s an 18-year-old–for an adolescent with autism, this might lead to misunderstandings about the nature of a friendship or someone’s intentions towards them.”
Speaking about parents’ reactions toward individuals with autism, the expert notes that they often find themselves in a protective role, particularly when it comes to navigating social situations. “This is often because they have been extra attentive to their child’s needs and have had to navigate a world that is not particularly well designed for their dynamic.”
They added that there are also many times when neurotypical children and their parents do not understand the unique differences that can be present when someone is on the spectrum. “This can lead to isolation not only for the child but for their parents as well–both can be bullied, neglected and somewhat cast out from events, opportunities, and social situations,” they emphasized.
We also asked the expert about common misconceptions regarding individuals with ASD and they clarified that it is untrue to assume that they are uninterested in social interactions or incapable of developing deep connections. “People with autism can and do form deep relationships, but they might approach these connections differently.”
Now, looking at the story, the expert noted that when OP declined to stay over, the parents might have interpreted this as a rejection not just of a simple request but of their son, including his autism. “This reaction can stem from a history of experiencing social rejection or misunderstandings about their child’s behavior and intentions.”
Finally, understanding autism requires patience, openness, and a willingness to see the world from a different perspective. “It’s about recognizing that everyone, regardless of neurotype, seeks connection and understanding, albeit in their own unique way,” the expert pointed out.
Image credits: Jeswin Thomas (not the actual photo)
Probably from watching a single film that takes place in high school, showing the relationships, friendships and drama there, it’s not hard to understand that there are always rumors spreading around. Well, unfortunately, in real life, it is no different – as we can also see from this Reddit story.
It is clear that drama in teenagers’ lives often may seem like an inevitable part of it, but Very Well Family notes that it is anything but normal when that drama involves spreading rumors and toxic friendships.
Furthermore, youngsters who are the subject of gossip suffer additional consequences. For example, rumors and gossip have the power to seriously harm someone’s self-esteem, undermine their confidence, and cause other major problems.
However, gossiping happens not only in high school or teenage years; probably all of us at least sometimes gossip. But according to Medium writer Mukti Masih, research has shown that people who talk about other people’s lives a lot in daily conversation—especially personal information or unpleasant aspects of other people’s life—really have low self-esteem.
But what is your take on this story? Was the woman being a jerk for refusing to sleep over at her neighbor’s house? Or was his parents’ request inappropriate?
Redditors fully were on the woman’s side in this situation
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NTA. Just because your son is autistic doesn't give you the right to guilt a young lady into spending the night JUST THE TWO OF THEM. She would have probably said no to spending the night alone in the house with any boy she didn't like. Autism isn't a pass to make others feel uncomfortable.
Thats great parenting. Model for a boy that has trouble with social cues that you should make girls feel bad for not catering to your feelings and saying no to what makes them uncomfortable. I hope the OP stays away from that disaster waiting to happen.
Definitely NTA. I can understand why the mother would be defensive of their child. But everyone has their boundaries and they should be respected, regardless of any neurological conditions. Several years back I worked at a convenience store and this woman and her son who had Downs Syndrome came in. After they cashed out the son tried to hug me. I have issues with people, especially people I don't know, touching me. I wasn't expecting it and did jump a little. Then smiled, patted his arm and told them to have a nice day. The mom told me that 'he wants to give you a hug' and I shook his hand. He didn't seem to mind too much, but mom was offended. She asked 'what was wrong with my son hugging you', followed by accusing me of looking down on him.
Some people are so immersed in their children's needs that they lose sight of what's reasonable. If a person wouldn't accept something from any other person at the same age and sex, why would they accept it from a person with disabilities? Also, personal boundaries and consent still matter. They can't be denied just because one person has special circumstances. A person being autistic doesn't override another person's rights to body autonomy. That's something people like to forget.
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NTA. Just because your son is autistic doesn't give you the right to guilt a young lady into spending the night JUST THE TWO OF THEM. She would have probably said no to spending the night alone in the house with any boy she didn't like. Autism isn't a pass to make others feel uncomfortable.
Thats great parenting. Model for a boy that has trouble with social cues that you should make girls feel bad for not catering to your feelings and saying no to what makes them uncomfortable. I hope the OP stays away from that disaster waiting to happen.
Definitely NTA. I can understand why the mother would be defensive of their child. But everyone has their boundaries and they should be respected, regardless of any neurological conditions. Several years back I worked at a convenience store and this woman and her son who had Downs Syndrome came in. After they cashed out the son tried to hug me. I have issues with people, especially people I don't know, touching me. I wasn't expecting it and did jump a little. Then smiled, patted his arm and told them to have a nice day. The mom told me that 'he wants to give you a hug' and I shook his hand. He didn't seem to mind too much, but mom was offended. She asked 'what was wrong with my son hugging you', followed by accusing me of looking down on him.
Some people are so immersed in their children's needs that they lose sight of what's reasonable. If a person wouldn't accept something from any other person at the same age and sex, why would they accept it from a person with disabilities? Also, personal boundaries and consent still matter. They can't be denied just because one person has special circumstances. A person being autistic doesn't override another person's rights to body autonomy. That's something people like to forget.
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