Man Defends Sister After Fiancée Refuses To Wear Her Wedding Dress, Ends Up Single

WTF? The only situation in which gifting someone a wedding dress makes sense is if the bride has asked about it, or the couple can’t afford a dress. This wasn’t the case. OP wasn’t going to be spending thousands on a new dress they couldn’t afford. She already had a dress she loved. I think Fiancé didn’t like her mother’s dress and the whole idea of gifting OP one was because he didn’t want to simply talk to OP about it. And he was so angry because OP rejected his idea and wasn’t manipulated by his family. Her opinion didn’t matter. Then the “compromise” of wearing his sister’s dress to the wedding (again his idea) would probably involve losing her mother’s dress before the reception.

My sister will allow you to wear your mother’s dress at the reception, but you will wear hers for the ceremony. Umm, excuse me, what!?!? She is not a child and he is not her father. How twisted! So glad she is seeing the absolute control he and his family are trying to enforce on her BEFORE the wedding. Yikes.

Is this SIL the godfather or something? The cheek of this mare to tell the bride to be what she can and can't do. The minute a man spoke to me like that and called me those names, that's its over for me. He's a scumbag and his family are butt holes and his sister in law is a bullying b***h

"B****y c**t"? "Old rug"? Girl, when someone shows you their true colors, believe them. You just had a glimpse of how your life with this guy (and his family) would look like.

Next week, on Dateline, the Wedding Dress Str@ngling..... Run, honey, run.

Really sucks for her 😢 Imagine having to marry that double-faced guy. Good thing she's gonna leave him, or else she'd probably be abused by her in-laws emotionally and physically

Run. Run as fast and as far as you can.

YTA if you stay with this toxic @$$hole. Just leave this relationship and never look back!

Hey... YTA people, we know it's you, the fiance's family. Y'all cray, cray.

I think she did the right thing by calling the whole thing off. And not telling her fiance since he might resort to violence.

So his “solution” was to for OP to wear SIL’s dress for the ceremony—-the main and most important part of the whole damned thing—-and her mother’s dress for the reception? WTF? The point is the mother’s dress is to be worn for BOTH, not just the party as if it’s second choice dress, ffs. OP needs to get out of there and be among people who aren’t so f****d in the head they’d try to force a bride to wear a wedding dress that means absolutely nothing to her instead of her mother’s dress, the special dress with great sentimental value and meaning to her, the dress that she’s dreamed of wearing at her wedding her whole life. She needs to find someone who recognizes that—-someone who absolutely loves that about her—-and whose family understands and loves it about her as well.

Wow. She needs "permission" from her future sister-in-law to wear what she wants at *her own wedding?* Forcing a "generous gift" on someone in public, where they either have have to accept unconditionally or be scolded for "causing a scene" is the height of a-holery. She needs to run far away from this family of controlling bullies. This is only the first salvo of many attacks.

So many deal-breakers here - 1) His sister saying she would LET her wear her wedding dress at the reception. Deal-breaker. 2) The names he called her. Deal-breaker. 3) He let her sit outside and cry for so very long. Deal-breaker. 4) Not standing up for her to his family. Deal-breaker. 5) Ignoring her at home because of his family. Deal-breaker. This is not the right guy. Anyone who would call her the names he did is an abuser. Plain and simple. I know... I was married to one like that. He was utter trash. If he'd done this before we got married, I would've sent him packing.

This reads like something out of some older, french psychological thriller, at the precise moment when things go from romantic to creepy. Good thing she has more sense than most movie protagonists.

Lot of people seem more concerned with the fact that he called the dress a rag than what he called HER. Calling the dress a rag was terrible, but calling this woman the c word is instant grounds for flushing this relationship right down the toilet.

I never understand people that gifting with a public announcement. They are craving for attention just leaving the other part forced to play friendly

It's not the wedding dress...it's the jerk of a fiancee. His SIL gets to tell you what you will wear at your own wedding??? b##%hy Cun%.......Just no...

The people who voted YTA are abusers themselves.

No matter what the rest of story was, a man calls me the filthy misogynistic names he called her, I'm 100% done with him. I would not have stayed in the same car or home with him again. Offering the use of your wedding gown to someone is not a bad thing, but making it a "gift" and a done deal is ridiculous. No one but the bride has a right to choose what she wears on her wedding day.

Every single YTA in the comments is trash, and useless vapid pick me girls.

The OP isn't a doll for them to dress up as they please. Good thing she saw the writing on the wall and GTFO

am i the only one who thinks its very very very creepy that he wants his sister weding dress on his future wife? maybe he should marry his sister if they want that wedding dress there so badly.... i never heard about tradition when SIL give her dress to bride.

Wtf did I just read?! This AH of a fiance let's his partner walk into a firing squad of his family and expect her to jump for joy over a gift he knew she wouldn't want. But of course he didn't care about any of that. He wanted to demonstrate just how much control and power he had over her. And when she didn't oblige, he went full on abusive. Could she have handled it better initially? Probably. But she was blindsided and tried. This is such a personal thing, for an entire family to force this sort of thing on a bride is utterly ridiculous. And not one person there stepped up to say they were out of control.

This is NUTS!

I bet it was the (EX)-fiancé’s idea; he didn’t like OP’s mom’s dress and wanted someone else to be the bad guy and make OP wear something more modern.

The YTA comments are absolutely wild. I'm sure SIL got to choose her dress, the fact that she wouldn't give OP the same courtesy to choose marks her as entirely narcissistic and controlling. Planning a wedding is something many women dream about, and the dress is definitely an extremely important, personal part of that. SIL made the statement (not an offer! If it was an offer she would have done it privately or not gotten upset) PUBLICLY. OP is absolutely not in the wrong for responding publicly. EDIT: I saw a comment suggesting SIL was approached by the fiance to offer the dress because he secretly didn't like OPs dress and so told SIL they wanted her dress and that seems so so believable honestly.

I accidentally voted that "his reaction was appropriate". of course it's not. WTF.

Not even having the respect to not scroll on his phone while OP was talking to him would've been enough for me to end the relatioship. That's the bare minumim of respect you should give someone you claim to care about.

Refusing a gift, especially in public, is almost always considered an insult. That being said your fiancee was way out of line calling you the C-word. I don't foresee ever coming back from this.

So, his "exact words" were "b***y c**t"? How do you pronounce that? Is the * silent or pronounced like the r in colonel?

I'm curious if this is a mixed-culture or religious marriage because it sure sounds like she is expected to be subservient to her fiancee and them. Are they Jehova Witnesses, because in that religion the women are expected to always defer to the man and the man's family.

I don't like to call posts fake but this one is weird. It is well known that the bride picking out her dress is a seminal moment for most women. There is even a popular show where women pick their wedding dress and it is emotional. On this show, there are various examples of other people trying to force the bride to wear this or that and the wise shop owners prevail and let her choose the THE DRESS. I am sure the SIL knows this ritual as she picked her own dress. To think that a bride is going to be thrilled at wearing someone else's dress without even trying it on is ludicrous. The fact that the bride cried for hours and the fiancé was immediately dismissive also seems unlikely. One or both of them had to know the emotional temperature of this family and each other. Weird situation/ fake post. Sorry.

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I don't believe this at all!