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Atheist Teen Forced To Live With Religious Dad Who He Just Met After His Mom Passed Away
Meeting a biological parent for the first time as a teenager can feel like stepping onto an emotional roller coaster. Throw in the grief of losing a loved one and the stress of relocating to a new state, and you’ve got yourself a whirlwind of feelings.
This was the reality for one 16-year-old, who suddenly found himself in a deeply religious household having been raised in a non-religious environment, trying to navigate new family dynamics with contrasting beliefs.
More info: Reddit
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Teen boy is forced to live with his biological dad he just met, after his mom passes away and the rest of his family refuses to take care of him
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
The teen begs his grandparents to send him to live with his aunt who actually wants him, but they refuse and send him to his dad instead
Image credits: Complex-Guarantee253
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
The 16-year-old is forced to move in with his newfound dad, his wife and 2 kids
Image credits: Complex-Guarantee253
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
The new family, being very religious, tries to impose their belief on the teen, demanding he start going to church and get baptized
Image credits: Complex-Guarantee253
“I will never take part in their religion ever”: the teen, who grew up in an atheist environment, angers his family after he declares he doesn’t believe in God
The OP’s (original poster) story began when he was just 15 years old and faced the tragic loss of his mother to chronic illness. His grandparents and two aunts, unwilling to take care of him, contacted his estranged father, a man who had previously shown no interest in his son’s life.
The OP’s family had also involved a social worker, so the teen was sent to live with his biological father rather than with an aunt he knew and who wanted to take him in. Despite the OP’s and his aunt’s pleas, the legal preference is for a biological parent over an extended family member. Which is what happened in the OP’s case and he was sent to live with his newfound dad and his wife and kids just 3 weeks after meeting the man.
The OP was forced to leave the place he called home and his familiar surroundings and move to a new state with his father and his very religious family. The dad admitted to the OP that he knew about his existence but chose to ignore it as he was ashamed by his “promiscuous” behavior. The wife, described as “open-minded” by the dad, welcomed the OP into their religious household. However, the teen, raised in an atheist environment, has had no interest in participating in their religious practices, which ends up being the focal point of this story.
The father and his wife are very devoted to their religious beliefs and expect the OP to join their church activities, including getting baptized. Even his 2 younger siblings have started questioning him, asking him why he doesn’t attend church or pray.
They became quite persistent, trying to impose their beliefs upon the teen, but he was not having any of it. He told them straight up that he’s an atheist because that’s how he was raised, that’s what he knows and he has no intention of ever changing for anyone, including his newfound family. As expected, this declaration caused significant tensions, anger and friction in the household.
The situation hit a boiling point when the father’s wife insisted the OP should be grateful for the opportunity to be “saved” and accused him of being disrespectful and stubborn. The teen’s response was blunt: he declared they’re not his parents, but only people he was forced to live with, and that he will never participate in their religion. As expected, this declaration caused significant tensions, anger and friction in the household, with the dad and stepmom accusing the OP of being closed-minded.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Some parents may believe that imposing religion on their children is a good idea as they might view it as a means to help their kids discover their faith and ultimately share the same beliefs as them. However, that’s not really how this works. According to an article on religious practices and whether or not it is ever okay to force them on kids, “you cannot force someone to believe in something. A child will always believe what they want to believe, no matter how much those beliefs are forced.” In fact, kids are less likely to be interested in religion if they are forced into it, with many preferring to explore this field independently.
While our teen’s reactions may have seemed harsh to his dad and stepmom, they make sense if we consider the context. This kid suddenly found himself in an unfamiliar environment during what was probably the toughest time of his life – losing his mom. Meanwhile, his newfound family, motivated by their religious views, questioned the 16-year-old’s identity and beliefs, interpreting his refusal to join the church as an obstacle to family harmony and unity.
According to an article on embracing religious diversity in the family, “conflicting religious beliefs may challenge long-held family traditions, create disagreements regarding important life decisions, or even foster feelings of exclusion or judgment. Religious differences within a family can sometimes lead to tension and strain in relationships.”
What did you think of this story? Do you believe the OP was right for stating his grounds or could he have found a more diplomatic way of handling the situation? Let us know in the comments.
Netizens side with the teen, saying he is not a jerk for standing his ground and handling the situation like an adult
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
What do you think ?
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
I always laugh when religious people try to play the "you're closed minded" card. No, I'm not closed minded, I've weighed up all the evidence and decided that there is literally *no empirical evidence* for the existence of any god. Now it's your turn to be open to the idea that you're wrong.
Ms.GB 1 year ago
They think he's close minded but they are equally as close minded about becoming atheists and only one side is disrespecting the other by trying to strong arm him into changing his core beliefs.
Load More Replies...
Learner Panda 1 year ago
This post demonstrates everything that is wrong with super religious people. OP has stated very clearly and maturely that he has zero interest in religion and none in being "open-minded" about it. Given his age, I feel he should continue to refuse to join in their mind games and move very quickly to his aunt's the moment he turns 18. I wish him all the best.
arthbach 1 year ago
Parents, write a will that says who you are giving guardianship to in the event of your death. If necessary, write a list of people. In this story, the teenager's mother had cervical cancer. This tend not to result in a sudden death. There is most often time to plan, and put your affairs in order. The top priority is ensuring the safety and happiness of your children.
Steve Hall 1 year ago
I have never lived in a state where custody could be determined by a will.
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
This is why we need to give more legal weight to the wishes of children in custody cases.
Alex Bailey 1 year ago
Totally agree. In the UK, in court, they take the wishes of children into account from 12 or 13 onwards (sometimes 11 in certain circumstances) and from the age of 16 the child can decide where they live themselves. This is the case unless there are residency orders already in place - which the 16 year old can ask to be reconsidered.
Load More Replies...
Paul C 1 year ago
I love the idea of announcing to his father's church that he is the man's bastard son. Unfortunately, that act of defiance would probably cause a huge amount of trouble. I don't really understand why a boy of 15/16 is not listened to about where he wants to live. Seems a strange, and very troubling, idea. It makes the story seem very dodgy / untrue / missing key information.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Living biological parent who "claims" he wants the child will win out over other relatives every time, especially those who are out of state (as the courts will view the child moving to another state as "uprooting them from all they are familiar with".) It may also have something to do with the fact that OP's guardians (his grandparents) willingly turned him over to his biological father - that could be like a door slamming on the whole case. I agree that a child older than 13 should have the MAIN say in where they go/whom they live with, but it rarely works out perfectly.
Load More Replies...
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
What a wonderful Christian, forgiving your kid for your issues, after ignoring him his entire life. Surely cramming religion down his throat is going to show him the error of his ways. Sigh. This is NOT what it's supposed to be about. Love is not self-serving. And whatever the sperm donor is doing is not love. He's basically using the boy to show off what a great Christian he is. Now, if he can just force the kid to convert, he'll practically be Jesus' right hand man! Even with all other considerations aside, shoving anything down someone's throat will do nothing but cause a gag reflex.
Nimitz 1 year ago
I feel so sorry for this kid. I was forced into religion by psychos and when I rejected it I was kicked out into a sub zero Alberta winter. Dropped off in town like a normal day, but as I was closing the car door I was told to find somewhere else to live as I would not be allowed to return home that day. The abuse will only get worse and I hope he is able to survive the next 1-2 years with minimal abuse, because no one abuses kids like a Christian trying to force religion on a child
Ge Po 1 year ago
Getting baptized without meaning it is like saying 'yes' at a gunshot wedding. As a christian, I hope OP can ignore the religious pressure without it hurting him too much to be able to figure things out by himself. I agree with the reaction from *I need Jsoos christ* that believe can not be demanded from anyone and I don't understand why these people, his father, would think they can just pressure him into converting. Instead, they should show love and respect no matter what, challenge OP to think for himself and have good discussions on life, love and faith.
notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
This whole situation is so wrong and unfair on so many levels! Putting a teen with strangers, especially,a deadbeat dad is wrong. The guy knows very little about his son and has not grown up with him in any way at all. The teen spent years growing up a certain way and is being thrust into an environment that is not right for him while still grieving his Mom. He doesn't want to live there and doesn't see these ppl as family in any way at all. Now he's having these strangers force their beliefs on him against his will. I would stand my ground and refuse their demands. I would also look into a way to fight to get out of that house and away from these strangers. Emancipation or fight in court to get away from these strangers. They can't expect instant family just because you're blood to a deadbeat stranger. It's not working out and is an unhealthy environment for you. As far as the forced religion, tell them that if your sperm donor was a real father and was there to raise you, it would have been a different story,but you're now 16 and grew up differently,had he been around, he'd know that. Refuse to accept his religious beliefs and remind him that it's hypocritical to have a non believer or a pretender amongst the congregation. It's lying. Do they want to go to hell for lying to God? You don't want a faker or a liar there. Tell them to quit forcing a religion upon you. You don't believe,will never believe and to leave you alone about religion. This has to stop. I know a lot of ppl who went through being forced into religion when they were younger by relatives. Myself included. A lot of them are atheist. Myself I am not their religion. I converted to a completely different one. They hate it but they have to realize I have the right to choose who I am and what I believe. Kids are not an extension of their blood. They are individuals.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
I always laugh when religious people try to play the "you're closed minded" card. No, I'm not closed minded, I've weighed up all the evidence and decided that there is literally *no empirical evidence* for the existence of any god. Now it's your turn to be open to the idea that you're wrong.
Ms.GB 1 year ago
They think he's close minded but they are equally as close minded about becoming atheists and only one side is disrespecting the other by trying to strong arm him into changing his core beliefs.
Load More Replies... Learner Panda 1 year ago
This post demonstrates everything that is wrong with super religious people. OP has stated very clearly and maturely that he has zero interest in religion and none in being "open-minded" about it. Given his age, I feel he should continue to refuse to join in their mind games and move very quickly to his aunt's the moment he turns 18. I wish him all the best.
arthbach 1 year ago
Parents, write a will that says who you are giving guardianship to in the event of your death. If necessary, write a list of people. In this story, the teenager's mother had cervical cancer. This tend not to result in a sudden death. There is most often time to plan, and put your affairs in order. The top priority is ensuring the safety and happiness of your children.
Steve Hall 1 year ago
I have never lived in a state where custody could be determined by a will.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
This is why we need to give more legal weight to the wishes of children in custody cases.
Alex Bailey 1 year ago
Totally agree. In the UK, in court, they take the wishes of children into account from 12 or 13 onwards (sometimes 11 in certain circumstances) and from the age of 16 the child can decide where they live themselves. This is the case unless there are residency orders already in place - which the 16 year old can ask to be reconsidered.
Load More Replies... Paul C 1 year ago
I love the idea of announcing to his father's church that he is the man's bastard son. Unfortunately, that act of defiance would probably cause a huge amount of trouble. I don't really understand why a boy of 15/16 is not listened to about where he wants to live. Seems a strange, and very troubling, idea. It makes the story seem very dodgy / untrue / missing key information.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Living biological parent who "claims" he wants the child will win out over other relatives every time, especially those who are out of state (as the courts will view the child moving to another state as "uprooting them from all they are familiar with".) It may also have something to do with the fact that OP's guardians (his grandparents) willingly turned him over to his biological father - that could be like a door slamming on the whole case. I agree that a child older than 13 should have the MAIN say in where they go/whom they live with, but it rarely works out perfectly.
Load More Replies... Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
What a wonderful Christian, forgiving your kid for your issues, after ignoring him his entire life. Surely cramming religion down his throat is going to show him the error of his ways. Sigh. This is NOT what it's supposed to be about. Love is not self-serving. And whatever the sperm donor is doing is not love. He's basically using the boy to show off what a great Christian he is. Now, if he can just force the kid to convert, he'll practically be Jesus' right hand man! Even with all other considerations aside, shoving anything down someone's throat will do nothing but cause a gag reflex.
Nimitz 1 year ago
I feel so sorry for this kid. I was forced into religion by psychos and when I rejected it I was kicked out into a sub zero Alberta winter. Dropped off in town like a normal day, but as I was closing the car door I was told to find somewhere else to live as I would not be allowed to return home that day. The abuse will only get worse and I hope he is able to survive the next 1-2 years with minimal abuse, because no one abuses kids like a Christian trying to force religion on a child
Ge Po 1 year ago
Getting baptized without meaning it is like saying 'yes' at a gunshot wedding. As a christian, I hope OP can ignore the religious pressure without it hurting him too much to be able to figure things out by himself. I agree with the reaction from *I need Jsoos christ* that believe can not be demanded from anyone and I don't understand why these people, his father, would think they can just pressure him into converting. Instead, they should show love and respect no matter what, challenge OP to think for himself and have good discussions on life, love and faith.
notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
This whole situation is so wrong and unfair on so many levels! Putting a teen with strangers, especially,a deadbeat dad is wrong. The guy knows very little about his son and has not grown up with him in any way at all. The teen spent years growing up a certain way and is being thrust into an environment that is not right for him while still grieving his Mom. He doesn't want to live there and doesn't see these ppl as family in any way at all. Now he's having these strangers force their beliefs on him against his will. I would stand my ground and refuse their demands. I would also look into a way to fight to get out of that house and away from these strangers. Emancipation or fight in court to get away from these strangers. They can't expect instant family just because you're blood to a deadbeat stranger. It's not working out and is an unhealthy environment for you. As far as the forced religion, tell them that if your sperm donor was a real father and was there to raise you, it would have been a different story,but you're now 16 and grew up differently,had he been around, he'd know that. Refuse to accept his religious beliefs and remind him that it's hypocritical to have a non believer or a pretender amongst the congregation. It's lying. Do they want to go to hell for lying to God? You don't want a faker or a liar there. Tell them to quit forcing a religion upon you. You don't believe,will never believe and to leave you alone about religion. This has to stop. I know a lot of ppl who went through being forced into religion when they were younger by relatives. Myself included. A lot of them are atheist. Myself I am not their religion. I converted to a completely different one. They hate it but they have to realize I have the right to choose who I am and what I believe. Kids are not an extension of their blood. They are individuals.
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