Woman Signs Over Parental Rights Of Her Baby To Cheating Husband’s Mistress, Refuses To Meet Her Daughter 14 Years Later When Her Ex Contacts Her
Settling down is like gambling – you never know if it’s actually going to work out. You might think you know the person well; perhaps, you’ve been those high school sweethearts, or love’s got you blinded, and you believe that the bond will last forever.
People change, and even if your loved one promised to be with you through thick and thin – there’s no guarantee that the promise will be kept.
Life happens, and there’s a chance that your once beloved spouse will make your existence a complete hell, but what’s worse is having children involved in this traumatic experience.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes you hate the father of your child so much that you’re willing to sign away your parental rights
Image credits: Corina Sanchez (not the actual image)
“AITA for refusing to meet my biological daughter? (I gave up my parental rights years ago)” – this online user took it to one of Reddit’s most popular communities to seek advice from the members and find out whether she’s indeed a jerk for refusing to meet her biological child that was adopted by her former spouse’s mistress. The post received nearly 18K upvotes and 4.8K worth of comments discussing this emotional situation.
Cheating ex got in touch with woman saying her biological child wants to meet her, she refused and told him to never contact her again
Image credits: u/Thelastoffew
The author began her post by revealing that many years ago, she was married to a man named Mark; a couple of years into the marriage, the poor woman found out that her spouse was cheating on her and had managed to get his mistress knocked up. It was a huge shock because the OP was pregnant with his child too.
Image credits: u/Thelastoffew
She was only 9 weeks pregnant and was determined to get a divorce and have an abortion – however, the man begged her to reconsider and insisted that she give their relationship a second chance.
The woman had a very traumatic pregnancy and when she was 6 months along, she discovered that her beloved spouse had never stopped seeing the other woman. He later justified it by saying that he was “torn” as he loved them both dearly. Naturally, the OP wasn’t willing to put up with his behavior, so she finally moved out and filed for divorce. The author wanted him to disappear from her life, but since she was expecting – it made things rather difficult.
Image credits: Alick Sung (not the actual image)
Unfortunately, the OP never fully bonded with the baby and the fact that it was her ex’s child contributed to all the negativity that she felt. The woman told her former partner that she didn’t want the child, so when they got together with his mistress, she gave her the choice to adopt – and she did.
Image credits: u/Thelastoffew
The author signed over her parental rights as soon as the child turned 6 months old and, when she left, she told her ex-husband that she didn’t want to be a part of the girl’s life, and that his lover was more than welcome to become her mother.
The OP moved to another country and tried to leave that distressing part of her life behind; she met a wonderful man and is now a mother to 3 kids.
Image credits: u/Thelastoffew
However, she recently was contacted by her former spouse who revealed that her biological daughter, who’s now 14, is eager to meet her. According to the man, his wife had passed away and before she died, she told the girl that she wasn’t her biological mother.
The woman was completely torn, as she didn’t want to meet the kid. She mentioned that it was extremely difficult to leave that part of her life behind; she was severely depressed for years, so she reminded the man that she gave up her parental rights years ago and that she wanted nothing to do with both of them.
Image credits: David Steltz (not the actual image)
The OP shared that she planned on telling her kids about their half-sibling once they were grown and mentally mature, but for now, the time’s not right. She told her former spouse to never contact her again and hung up the phone.
What do you think about this situation?
Fellow Redditors shared their own thoughts and opinions regarding this uneasy situation
I'm annoyed by the person who said children who grow up without biological parents have problem. And that even if they're adopted at day 1 they still don't have "real" parents. As a person who was adopted at birth that hurts a lot. Even as a teenager I had no desire to meet my biological parents. My adopted parents ARE my real parents. The fact that my mom didn't birth me means absolutely nothing. She's my mom. That's all there is to it. Sorry for the rant. That just made me upset.
Also adopted at birth and I'm right there with you. My mom and dad are my REAL parents and my brother is my REAL brother. I did meet my birth mother and know how to get in touch with my birth father. But I never felt they owed me or I owed them that contact. It's just worked out for us. Each situation is different.
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To meet a woman who resents her existence will do the girl no good
This is in reply to Justin Smith (the reply button is missing from his comment)... Justin, would you say this about a birthmother who placed her kid for anonymous adoption? Be quiet, BOY, the grown ups are talking.
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With the state of mind OP is in, I'd say following the one poster's suggestion of writing the letter but also including necessary medical info is a good one. Then have a couple of trusted friends/family proofread it to be sure it isn't offloading all of the negative feelings towards Ex onto the kid. Then sit on it a couple of weeks and go back to it. As it sounds, OP isn't in any state of mind yet to have a direct convo with the kid and not cause damage. OP needs to sort through their own emotions long before that happens.
She can send that info directly to the child's doctor without having to send anything to the child. OP should *not* send anything with her contact info on it, including an envelope.
Load More Replies... I'm annoyed by the person who said children who grow up without biological parents have problem. And that even if they're adopted at day 1 they still don't have "real" parents. As a person who was adopted at birth that hurts a lot. Even as a teenager I had no desire to meet my biological parents. My adopted parents ARE my real parents. The fact that my mom didn't birth me means absolutely nothing. She's my mom. That's all there is to it. Sorry for the rant. That just made me upset.
Also adopted at birth and I'm right there with you. My mom and dad are my REAL parents and my brother is my REAL brother. I did meet my birth mother and know how to get in touch with my birth father. But I never felt they owed me or I owed them that contact. It's just worked out for us. Each situation is different.
Load More Replies... To meet a woman who resents her existence will do the girl no good
This is in reply to Justin Smith (the reply button is missing from his comment)... Justin, would you say this about a birthmother who placed her kid for anonymous adoption? Be quiet, BOY, the grown ups are talking.
Load More Replies... With the state of mind OP is in, I'd say following the one poster's suggestion of writing the letter but also including necessary medical info is a good one. Then have a couple of trusted friends/family proofread it to be sure it isn't offloading all of the negative feelings towards Ex onto the kid. Then sit on it a couple of weeks and go back to it. As it sounds, OP isn't in any state of mind yet to have a direct convo with the kid and not cause damage. OP needs to sort through their own emotions long before that happens.
She can send that info directly to the child's doctor without having to send anything to the child. OP should *not* send anything with her contact info on it, including an envelope.
Load More Replies...
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