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Woman Refuses To Help Parents Going Through Financial Crisis Because She Was Disowned By Them 9 Years Ago
The importance of a loving and supporting family cannot be emphasized enough. When people get in trouble, they immediately turn to their family members for support. However, is it okay to expect support from someone whom you turned down when they were in need? Is it okay to expect support from a daughter you disowned many years ago for not being religious?
While most daughters would love to help their parents in need, Redditor u/Born-Problem-8280 refused to do so because she was disowned by them 9 years ago. OP (Original Poster) was feeling slightly guilty for not helping her parents who have medical conditions and are going through a bankruptcy phase. So, she turned to this popular subreddit and asked other users to know if she was right or wrong.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
This woman got disowned by her religious parents because she became a stripper
Image credits: Francisco Osorio
Sometimes, rigid religious beliefs can break a family. It’s often seen that the kids of religious parents become rebellious and even against religion because they see their peers enjoying more social freedom and less-disciplined family environments. Therefore, they feel like there is something missing in their lives or that their parents are too strict to let them live their life their own way.
Image credits: u/Born-Problem-8280
She wanted to go to a normal college but her parents insisted her to go to a Christian college
The OP revealed that her parents were religious and wanted her to pursue education in a Christian college instead of a regular one. When she refused their idea and went to a normal college, her parents stopped paying her college tuition.
She joined a strip club to pay for her expenses
The woman made good money while working as a stripper but when her parents found out, they disowned her
As she was making good money with her job, she decided to quit college. As soon as her parents found out, they told her that she was unwanted in their family now. Even her relatives didn’t support her (except for two cousins). So, she probably felt lonely and rejected.
She is now well settled and doing well financially
The OP revealed that her financial condition is really good as of now. She is earning from various sources, and she owns a house, an apartment building, and a Tesla. She is perfectly able to help her parents but she doesn’t want to do so because of the treatment she got when she was young.
Her parents suffered bankruptcy and went to seek her help forgetting what they did to her years ago
Her parents contacted her 9 years later only when they were in trouble. OP mentioned that they declared bankruptcy and are struggling with some medical problems. But she refused to help them by saying that she doesn’t have parents anymore. She also pointed “according to their religion and church, my money was earned while sinning, so to use it is to damn your soul to hell and I really didn’t want that for them.”
She even gave the extended family a taste of their own medicine by telling them to help her parents themselves
Do you think that OP was wrong for refusing to help her parents? Let us know in the comments what would you do in her situation.
Image credits: David Dennis
Most people in the comments section have shown support to the OP and told her that she did the right thing because her parents made a choice years ago and didn’t even apologise to her about it.
What do you think ?
deanna woods 3 years ago
I am getting so sick and tired of people using religion as a justification to mistreat other people, especially their family members. These same people that spout all of their hateful bigotry don't seem to understand that Jesus was Jewish, dark skinned, and from the Middle East. He was also friends with tax collectors and a prostitute. He didn't judge their lifestyle or mistreat them. This young woman does not owe her parents anything. To the Christian community:STOP USING RELIGION TO JUSTIFY BEING AN A-HOLE!!! You are making the rest of us look bad.
pelemele 3 years ago
@deanna woods : This comment can rigorously apply to all religions without exception and not only the Christian religion.
Load More Replies...
Rose the Cook 3 years ago (edited)
When my children and I were in a desperate situation my sister forbade my parents to offer any help because I had "consorted with the enemy" by marrying rather than staying at home to "serve" them as she had. Many years later after my parents died my sister, who had inherited the house for her "service", was deeply in debt and expected me and my second husband to pay her debts and support her gambling and drinking habits. It is now over 20 years ago and i don't know or care what became of her. .
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
That is good. I'm sure she learned, hopefully, that she should be careful how she treats people. I would do the same things if one of my sisters did that. I mean, gambling, really?
Load More Replies...
S. Mi 3 years ago
I really appreciated the idea of sending them a one time gift and walking away guilt free. Particularly if their health and/or lives are endangered (ie, if they are American without health insurance). Them OP can give them the boost they need to help themselves (or not) and not feel awful if/when something happens.
Beth S 3 years ago
Absolutely. She is not the AH but a lot can be said for a clear conscience. She already is feeling guilty and a month's pay that wouldn't hurt her would be worth sending just to assuage the guilt. As long as it has the caveat to never contact her again.
Load More Replies...
HeySuze Christ 3 years ago
She has no obligation, but she'll regret not helping them. I dunno.
Libstak 3 years ago
I feel the same. If she is going to help it should be with the diabetes meds health comes first and risking her mum dying is a bridge too far regardless whether she would have received the same consideration if it was reversed. I know, they would blame her life choices if she were unwell but two wrongs do not make a right.
Load More Replies...
Ms.GB 3 years ago
NTA. Let their god help them out, after all he/she must be so proud of the choices they've made as "Christians". Maybe the real God is trying to teach them a lesson, obviously one they need to learn the hard way since it wasn't abundantly apparent to them as it is to others that you should love your children even if they aren't miniature versions of yourself.
Mine Truly 3 years ago
Pretty sure there's a relevant story in the Book of Job.
Load More Replies...
Kyndal T 3 years ago
I feel this. Totally not the AH. In my case, I bought groceries for them for a few months. Everyone called me a moron for helping them after all the abuse but I couldn't let their kids go hungry. Even though they were also horrible to me. I just couldn't. In the end, my aunt and uncle divorced. I still feel dumb for helping them because they never changed but what can ya do? This lady decided to do the opposite and I respect that. At the end of the day you'll be the one to live with your decisions.
Ꮋꭼꮮꮮꭺ-ꮪꮻꮜꭱꮯꭺɴꭰꭹ 3 years ago
nta,those parents are scummy people and are real cowards crawling back to the daughter THEY disowned.
Space Whale 3 years ago
NTA.They literally disowned them! When they needed help is when they came running back.
Samantha Green 3 years ago
I personally believe that while your argument to not help your parents may have pretty strong legs to stand on, in the end it all boils down to who you are and the fact that you arent doing anything because of who THEY are, but truly and simply because if who YOU are. Okay, youre still hurt by thier small minded rejection of the path for your life that was right for YOU when they had to recognize that you had come of age and sink or swim, this is how you want to try to become your own, competent and autonomous. The question now becomes this: as competent and confident as you have become, as an adult who has struggled to find yourself and walk your road without shame, would you be able to be as petty as you felt they were then AND still be able to look yourself in the eye in the bathroom and find no fault in YOUR actions? Don't ever think you need to do anything for anyone based on who THEY are. ALWAYS do everything because of who YOU became. Yours is the ONLY opinion that matters.
Swear Wolfe 3 years ago
I personally wouldn't give them money and make it known as to why. However, I would tell them I will pay for any and all medication so they can focus on getting their money together and getting back on track.
Load More Replies...
deanna woods 3 years ago
I am getting so sick and tired of people using religion as a justification to mistreat other people, especially their family members. These same people that spout all of their hateful bigotry don't seem to understand that Jesus was Jewish, dark skinned, and from the Middle East. He was also friends with tax collectors and a prostitute. He didn't judge their lifestyle or mistreat them. This young woman does not owe her parents anything. To the Christian community:STOP USING RELIGION TO JUSTIFY BEING AN A-HOLE!!! You are making the rest of us look bad.
pelemele 3 years ago
@deanna woods : This comment can rigorously apply to all religions without exception and not only the Christian religion.
Load More Replies... Rose the Cook 3 years ago (edited)
When my children and I were in a desperate situation my sister forbade my parents to offer any help because I had "consorted with the enemy" by marrying rather than staying at home to "serve" them as she had. Many years later after my parents died my sister, who had inherited the house for her "service", was deeply in debt and expected me and my second husband to pay her debts and support her gambling and drinking habits. It is now over 20 years ago and i don't know or care what became of her. .
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
That is good. I'm sure she learned, hopefully, that she should be careful how she treats people. I would do the same things if one of my sisters did that. I mean, gambling, really?
Load More Replies... S. Mi 3 years ago
I really appreciated the idea of sending them a one time gift and walking away guilt free. Particularly if their health and/or lives are endangered (ie, if they are American without health insurance). Them OP can give them the boost they need to help themselves (or not) and not feel awful if/when something happens.
Beth S 3 years ago
Absolutely. She is not the AH but a lot can be said for a clear conscience. She already is feeling guilty and a month's pay that wouldn't hurt her would be worth sending just to assuage the guilt. As long as it has the caveat to never contact her again.
Load More Replies... HeySuze Christ 3 years ago
She has no obligation, but she'll regret not helping them. I dunno.
Libstak 3 years ago
I feel the same. If she is going to help it should be with the diabetes meds health comes first and risking her mum dying is a bridge too far regardless whether she would have received the same consideration if it was reversed. I know, they would blame her life choices if she were unwell but two wrongs do not make a right.
Load More Replies... Ms.GB 3 years ago
NTA. Let their god help them out, after all he/she must be so proud of the choices they've made as "Christians". Maybe the real God is trying to teach them a lesson, obviously one they need to learn the hard way since it wasn't abundantly apparent to them as it is to others that you should love your children even if they aren't miniature versions of yourself.
Mine Truly 3 years ago
Pretty sure there's a relevant story in the Book of Job.
Load More Replies... Kyndal T 3 years ago
I feel this. Totally not the AH. In my case, I bought groceries for them for a few months. Everyone called me a moron for helping them after all the abuse but I couldn't let their kids go hungry. Even though they were also horrible to me. I just couldn't. In the end, my aunt and uncle divorced. I still feel dumb for helping them because they never changed but what can ya do? This lady decided to do the opposite and I respect that. At the end of the day you'll be the one to live with your decisions.
Ꮋꭼꮮꮮꭺ-ꮪꮻꮜꭱꮯꭺɴꭰꭹ 3 years ago
nta,those parents are scummy people and are real cowards crawling back to the daughter THEY disowned.
Space Whale 3 years ago
NTA.They literally disowned them! When they needed help is when they came running back.
Samantha Green 3 years ago
I personally believe that while your argument to not help your parents may have pretty strong legs to stand on, in the end it all boils down to who you are and the fact that you arent doing anything because of who THEY are, but truly and simply because if who YOU are. Okay, youre still hurt by thier small minded rejection of the path for your life that was right for YOU when they had to recognize that you had come of age and sink or swim, this is how you want to try to become your own, competent and autonomous. The question now becomes this: as competent and confident as you have become, as an adult who has struggled to find yourself and walk your road without shame, would you be able to be as petty as you felt they were then AND still be able to look yourself in the eye in the bathroom and find no fault in YOUR actions? Don't ever think you need to do anything for anyone based on who THEY are. ALWAYS do everything because of who YOU became. Yours is the ONLY opinion that matters.
Swear Wolfe 3 years ago
I personally wouldn't give them money and make it known as to why. However, I would tell them I will pay for any and all medication so they can focus on getting their money together and getting back on track.
Load More Replies...
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