22 Y.O. Daughter Doesn’t Want To Leave Her Stripper Job Since It’s ‘Easy Money’, Dad Ends Up Refusing To Help Her With Car Payments
In many detectives or thrillers of the ’80s and ’90s, at least one scene was sure to unfold in a strip club – this is how the producers implemented the simple concept of ‘sex sells’. Today, such a concept in mass culture already looks completely inappropriate, but the action of the story we want to tell also partially unfolds there.
In fact, some people still categorize jobs as “decent” and “indecent,” placing the work of a stripper, even if partial, in the second category. As, for example, this father, Reddit user u/LivingWitHorse, did when he came into conflict with his own daughter over exotic dancing.
The author of the post was very upset after discovering that his student daughter moonlights as an exotic dancer
Image credits: Stanley Morales (not the actual photo)
The man told the daughter off and threatened to stop helping her with car payments otherwise, as he did before
Image credits: LivingWitHorse
However, even the guy’s own wife didn’t side with him, bashing him for not being a man of his word
Image credits: brh_images (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LivingWitHorse
According to a study, nearly one third of strippers are in fact students, mainly due to high cost of college education
The story, in fact, looks incredibly trivial – there is a father under the age of fifty, there is an adult daughter who is in college and lives on campus. And the daughter one day asked her dad to help her with car payments, to which the parent agreed without any additional conditions (just remember, this is important for further understanding of the story!)
And then one of the dad’s co-workers, a young guy, by chance walked into the local strip club one night, and guess who he saw there? That’s right, his colleague’s daughter. We don’t know if the girl talked to this guy or not, and if so, what they discussed, but the fact remains that the next day, the colleague went to her father and told him everything. And he, accordingly, got upset, offended and went to campus to sort it out.
The girl, however, said that this was nothing more than a part-time job while studying in college. Her father objected that, in his opinion, there are much more “decent” jobs – at least at the local McDonald’s. The daughter said that she was not going to leave the strip club – after all, this is “easy money”, to which her father, flaring up, shot back that since she earns money so easily, then she could now cope with car payments herself, and he would stop providing his financial support at this point.
Of course, a scandal erupted, and the daughter accused her father of manipulation. However, the man was adamant – as they say, “I can give my word, I can take it back.” But here even his own wife did not side with him, saying that since they had no additional agreements with the daughter, it would be at least dishonorable to violate the terms of their deal – no matter how outraged he was by his daughter’s moonlighting.
Image credits: Hans Splinter (not the actual photo)
To tell you the truth, this question is far from new – ten years ago, there was a special study by British researchers Dr. Teela Sanders and Dr. Kate Hardy of Leeds University, who interviewed almost 200 dancers from pubs and strip clubs across the United Kingdom and found that 29.4 per cent were actually students. “The core reasons for entry into stripping by students were the high cost of higher education, the lack of availability of loans and support for vocational courses and the ability to combine stripping work with the demands of educational courses, due to the flexibility it offered,” the study said.
Moreover, the researchers call for an end to the stigmatization of work in the field of exotic dance – especially since society often tends to even condemn research in this area. “If stripping research is dismissed, joked about, or sexualized inappropriately, this is a problem with which most sexuality scholars are familiar,” claims Katherine Frank, a PhD at the University of Nevada. “Claims that research on exotic dance is innovative and not taken seriously are linked through cultural assumptions about the nature of the sex industry which both influence the questions asked by researchers and their theoretical framing – as excursions into uncharted terrain, dangerous, stigmatizing, and stigmatized.”
However, most people in the comments to the original post preferred not to delve into the specifics of the perception of exotic dance by modern society, but just harshly blasted the father for, firstly, adding conditions to their agreement after the fact, secondly – for shaming his own daughter, and thirdly – for not being a man of his word. But even if we abstract from the ethical side of the conflict, then the man seems to have achieved the exact opposite result. “In order to convince your daughter to stop stripping, you stopped paying her car and now she has to strip more!” one commenter aptly noted.
In any case, the situation from the father’s side looks rather ugly – as well as from the side of “the tattle tale coworker,” whom people in the comments also bashed severely. By the way, if you have already made up your own opinion about who is right and who is not in this particular story, please feel free to express it in the comments below this post.
People in the comments blasted the dad as well, noticing that he actually achieved the exact opposite result with his threats
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Ad both a woman and former stripper, if there wasn't a market, there wouldn't BE strippers. And, having worked in fast food, at least you EXPECT the misogyny stripping AND have a bodyguard/bouncer. NO ONE gives a s**t what someone says to you at Wendys.
Isn't stripping technically healthier than working fast food too? Since you'd be getting a fair bit of exercise moving around as opposed to standing in place all day and just killing your posture.
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Some studies show that the more hours you work beyond 15 a week during college the less likely you are to graduate. Plus in some areas over half of college students are food insecure which is why food pantries are becoming so common on campuses now. She's probably making at least 5x what she'd make at McDonald's per hour and she's contributing to herself being more likely to graduate. I'd understand if her father didn't want to pay her car payment if she's making enough to cover it herself. I also get that it's his money his choice, but demanding where she works is definitely an A-hole move. So is shaming or trying to control how she uses her body. The guy who tattled is also an ahole. Fine enough with going to a stripclub himself but making sure someone who works there is outed to her dad?
Well, note the hypocrisy of dad's co-worker. He tells on her for being a stripper but has no shame that he is a patron.
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1. why should she work more to make less money at McD? 2. Did he make stipulations when he said he would help with the car? In the end he went back on a promise.
It's probably safer to be a stripper compared to a McD employee. They won't touch you in a strip club without Big Dave and Monstrous Dan showing up.
It's kind of both. You're TA because the reason you're stopping is because you have a moral problem with what she's doing and that's on you. I get you don't want your daughter stripping but maybe find a solution to help her not do it anymore instead of being misogynistically judgmental. That being said, you're also NTA because it's your money, and as wrong as I may feel your opinion is, you can choose to spend your money how you want. All the people commenting that the money is conditional...well, yeah of course. If I were giving someone money, that would stop if they were disrespectful to me, and he feels her stripping was being disrespectful to what he expects from her. He doesn't want to fund her 'bad behavior'. If I gave someone money and found out they had a shopping or drug addiction, I'd probably stop. She's an adult making adult choices and that comes with adult consequences. So if you're accepting help, then you have to accept the strings attached to it.
"I told her then work at McDonald's, not use her body" - see the problem here is that it's HER body to do with as she wishes.
@Fat exactly, and let’s face it, McD isn’t employing her for her mind either
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As an ex stripper - dads just don’t like thinking of their daughters in this job. I get both sides. But he handled that wrong
It's not his choice to make. It's her body and she's making more while working less. His love is totally conditional and it sounds like yours is, too. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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Eh, NTA. She's entitled to be a stripper, but a 22 year old is more than old enough to pay for her own car, especially when insisting on getting an 'easy money' job. Christ people, it's not like he's disowning her, he's just not paying for an adult woman's car anymore.
Being a stripper is hard work, dancing in those heels is not easy. Op should try doing a shift and see how his body feels after. Easy money only because it pays more. Also did he tell of the boy for going to those places. If there wasn't a call by men to watch young women do ranchy dances then there wouldn't be a job there for his daughter to do. YTA for his extremely misogyny. But as for stopping payments thats his choice.. admittedly he does make himself look stupid
His money his choice. No parent is obligated to pay for a child's car. One of the things that sucks about taking your parents money is that they then have a say in your life. Plenty of folks get through college without parent help or a job that pays as well as stripping.
Some time back I heard rumours that you only make enough money for a living as a (female) stripper when you let your visitors do more than just watching you, means: either prostitution or not paying the bills. That brings us to the interesting question: how should you handle the situation as such a person's parent? What morally and finacial way should any of these two persons go?
@Rabbit Lord. Not true. My cousin did "stripping" when she was younger. I put stripping in quotes because she never went topless or fully nude at any time. Her big attraction for the men is she was a gymnast in high school and still stayed in shape. Hour glass figure, chest like coconuts and long naturally curly strawberry blonde hair. She made more money in a week with stripping than she did in a month working fast food. She only left because the place she worked at made it a policy that the girls had to go topless to attract more customers. She said "nope" and took her savings, went to school and became a real estate broker making bank. One of the girls she worked with was the favorite of NBA players because of her long legs. Another always got a visit from David Lee Roth when he was in town (He gave her a car and paid off her student loans.) She was just blonde and buxom. Sometimes you just got to have that trait that the guys find irresistible.
Load More Replies... Dad’s money. He can pay her bills or not pay her bills for any reason he wants
YTA You said you'd pay as she was in school. That hasn't changed. Also, the AH trying to control his grown daughter. The snitch is also TA. Really? To admit that a) he goes to strip clubs and b) watched as his daughter did her job but there's no problem with that, just her. Misogynistic much?
If she’s stripping because she needs money, what does he think cutting off the money he gives her is going to do? I feel like he hasn’t thought this through. He’d have been better increasing his payments so that she didn’t have to work at the strip club as much or if he couldn’t afford that, at least having a heart to heart with her rather than lecturing and shaming her.
Stupid dad! Possible he is still reading newspapers? He should teach her about onlyfans!
i agree with the NTA. people are saying the dad is TA but what i think is weird though that she kept it a secret. she probably wouldnt have if she worked at a fast food chain. what would have happened if she maybe approached her dad with "hey dad i still have so much stuff to pay so just to let you know, i work at a strip Club, its good money but i appreciate you still helping out". its quite funny that people always just wanna blame ONE person...
It’s his money. If she can make such good money he’s right, she doesn’t need to take his money. She wants to have her cake and eat it too.
I can understand the dad. He is ashamed, I think, as he got to know about his daughter's work from "some guy". I think he has a right to be upset, it is not something parents wish their kids would be doing permanently or not. On the other hand, withdrawing money support will just make the daughter work more. I do not see a good solution here, it will be family drama for many years.
Ahh the good ole USA showing its puritanical roots. Where violence is glorified and sex is ostracized. As a dad, I can see how you don't want to think of your kid as a sexual object for anyone. But as a human, I know this will be the case. If you trust that you raised her so that she knows she is more than an object, then he needs to trust that she is smart enough to make this decision. There is nothing wrong with stripping when done by consenting adults for consenting adults. Cutting her off is, at best, controlling and interjecting your thoughts on another adult you claim to love. At worst, he is a hypocrite that has gone to strip clubs and enjoyed them knowing that it is someone's daughter up there dancing for his money. Either way, he is off base. If his daughter was a ballerina or a backup dancer for a musical act, would he feel the same way, I wonder. Trust her to know what's she's doing, support her as long she is not hurting anyone (including herself).
So many questions for OP (except his account has been suspended on Reddit lol) - Would he still have withdrawn his financial support if she was making the same kind of money at another job? If the answer is no then it's not about her "not needing" his support and it's totally about the type of job. - Is it about the "morality" of stripping in general? Did he lecture his coworker about exploiting women for their bodies? If "the guys" from work were going to a strip club after work would he decline to go? And if so would he also lecture them about it? If his coworker wanted to borrow money would he refuse and cite going to strip clubs as a reason? If the answer to those is no then it's not about the morality, it's a "not my daughter" thing. I've got news for you buddy, every single woman working there is SOMEONE's daughter.
NTA... For cutting her cutting her off. Yes THA for.judging her morals. FIRST, sit down, have her make a BUDGET. Find out how much she needs to for her bills. Keep paying her car, make he suck it up every where else. How much is her car payment? How much does she spend on clothes, fast food, other items that can be deemed as.non-essemtial? Inspect what you expect and act.accordingly.
What a douche nozzle! If you do your job well as a stripper, you can make in one night there what you would in a week or more at McDonald's!!! On top of that, Your shifts at McDonald's will vary wildly. I know, I did both jobs. One week I would get 30 hours, and the next 10 at the same McDonald's because we were so overstaffed. My stripping schedule was way more flexible and was guaranteed at least 30 hours.
"thanks dad, customers were offering me extra "work", Now I will be taking them up on it. How much do you usually pay for a BJ, dad?"
I like how comments are telling him about that young man that told him the gossip about the doughter.
I bet he's mainly upset that he can no longer go to that club anymore... Lol! Whata jerk
My cousin worked in Fast Food and worked as a stripper. Not only does stripping pay more, but the girls are private contractors and can work when they want and without management breathing down their backs. Also, she is probably safer at the strip club as they usually employ bouncers the size of gorillas to work the doors and stop men from getting out of control. My sister was held up 3 times working fuel service stations to make ends meet. My cousin..never had an issue and never felt unsafe. So you are willing to cut her off as a consequence for working where she can make the most money, but you won't offer to support her so she can work your supposed perfect job to meet your unreasonable demands. YTA.
Being a stripper isn't "safer" as you call it. I danced at TAO in Las Vegas, the bouncers don't drive home with you. They don't prevent someone from following you home. We had several girls that had stalkers, men, and women trying to follow them home or to where ever they were staying. NTA. The dad is setting up boundaries with his daughter. If she wants to act like an adult she can pay for her own car. The dad shouldn't be paying for his 22 year old daughter's car in the first place.
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Well you get to flex your financial muscles over your own daughter I suppose, so that’s something at least….
Former strip club worker here: I felt safer working topless at a strip club than I did working fully clothed as a server during Happy Hour at Applebees on a Tuesday. Strip clubs have security. Restaurants don’t.
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Ad both a woman and former stripper, if there wasn't a market, there wouldn't BE strippers. And, having worked in fast food, at least you EXPECT the misogyny stripping AND have a bodyguard/bouncer. NO ONE gives a s**t what someone says to you at Wendys.
Isn't stripping technically healthier than working fast food too? Since you'd be getting a fair bit of exercise moving around as opposed to standing in place all day and just killing your posture.
Load More Replies... Some studies show that the more hours you work beyond 15 a week during college the less likely you are to graduate. Plus in some areas over half of college students are food insecure which is why food pantries are becoming so common on campuses now. She's probably making at least 5x what she'd make at McDonald's per hour and she's contributing to herself being more likely to graduate. I'd understand if her father didn't want to pay her car payment if she's making enough to cover it herself. I also get that it's his money his choice, but demanding where she works is definitely an A-hole move. So is shaming or trying to control how she uses her body. The guy who tattled is also an ahole. Fine enough with going to a stripclub himself but making sure someone who works there is outed to her dad?
Well, note the hypocrisy of dad's co-worker. He tells on her for being a stripper but has no shame that he is a patron.
Load More Replies... 1. why should she work more to make less money at McD? 2. Did he make stipulations when he said he would help with the car? In the end he went back on a promise.
It's probably safer to be a stripper compared to a McD employee. They won't touch you in a strip club without Big Dave and Monstrous Dan showing up.
It's kind of both. You're TA because the reason you're stopping is because you have a moral problem with what she's doing and that's on you. I get you don't want your daughter stripping but maybe find a solution to help her not do it anymore instead of being misogynistically judgmental. That being said, you're also NTA because it's your money, and as wrong as I may feel your opinion is, you can choose to spend your money how you want. All the people commenting that the money is conditional...well, yeah of course. If I were giving someone money, that would stop if they were disrespectful to me, and he feels her stripping was being disrespectful to what he expects from her. He doesn't want to fund her 'bad behavior'. If I gave someone money and found out they had a shopping or drug addiction, I'd probably stop. She's an adult making adult choices and that comes with adult consequences. So if you're accepting help, then you have to accept the strings attached to it.
"I told her then work at McDonald's, not use her body" - see the problem here is that it's HER body to do with as she wishes.
@Fat exactly, and let’s face it, McD isn’t employing her for her mind either
Load More Replies... As an ex stripper - dads just don’t like thinking of their daughters in this job. I get both sides. But he handled that wrong
It's not his choice to make. It's her body and she's making more while working less. His love is totally conditional and it sounds like yours is, too. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Load More Replies... Eh, NTA. She's entitled to be a stripper, but a 22 year old is more than old enough to pay for her own car, especially when insisting on getting an 'easy money' job. Christ people, it's not like he's disowning her, he's just not paying for an adult woman's car anymore.
Being a stripper is hard work, dancing in those heels is not easy. Op should try doing a shift and see how his body feels after. Easy money only because it pays more. Also did he tell of the boy for going to those places. If there wasn't a call by men to watch young women do ranchy dances then there wouldn't be a job there for his daughter to do. YTA for his extremely misogyny. But as for stopping payments thats his choice.. admittedly he does make himself look stupid
His money his choice. No parent is obligated to pay for a child's car. One of the things that sucks about taking your parents money is that they then have a say in your life. Plenty of folks get through college without parent help or a job that pays as well as stripping.
Some time back I heard rumours that you only make enough money for a living as a (female) stripper when you let your visitors do more than just watching you, means: either prostitution or not paying the bills. That brings us to the interesting question: how should you handle the situation as such a person's parent? What morally and finacial way should any of these two persons go?
@Rabbit Lord. Not true. My cousin did "stripping" when she was younger. I put stripping in quotes because she never went topless or fully nude at any time. Her big attraction for the men is she was a gymnast in high school and still stayed in shape. Hour glass figure, chest like coconuts and long naturally curly strawberry blonde hair. She made more money in a week with stripping than she did in a month working fast food. She only left because the place she worked at made it a policy that the girls had to go topless to attract more customers. She said "nope" and took her savings, went to school and became a real estate broker making bank. One of the girls she worked with was the favorite of NBA players because of her long legs. Another always got a visit from David Lee Roth when he was in town (He gave her a car and paid off her student loans.) She was just blonde and buxom. Sometimes you just got to have that trait that the guys find irresistible.
Load More Replies... Dad’s money. He can pay her bills or not pay her bills for any reason he wants
YTA You said you'd pay as she was in school. That hasn't changed. Also, the AH trying to control his grown daughter. The snitch is also TA. Really? To admit that a) he goes to strip clubs and b) watched as his daughter did her job but there's no problem with that, just her. Misogynistic much?
If she’s stripping because she needs money, what does he think cutting off the money he gives her is going to do? I feel like he hasn’t thought this through. He’d have been better increasing his payments so that she didn’t have to work at the strip club as much or if he couldn’t afford that, at least having a heart to heart with her rather than lecturing and shaming her.
Stupid dad! Possible he is still reading newspapers? He should teach her about onlyfans!
i agree with the NTA. people are saying the dad is TA but what i think is weird though that she kept it a secret. she probably wouldnt have if she worked at a fast food chain. what would have happened if she maybe approached her dad with "hey dad i still have so much stuff to pay so just to let you know, i work at a strip Club, its good money but i appreciate you still helping out". its quite funny that people always just wanna blame ONE person...
It’s his money. If she can make such good money he’s right, she doesn’t need to take his money. She wants to have her cake and eat it too.
I can understand the dad. He is ashamed, I think, as he got to know about his daughter's work from "some guy". I think he has a right to be upset, it is not something parents wish their kids would be doing permanently or not. On the other hand, withdrawing money support will just make the daughter work more. I do not see a good solution here, it will be family drama for many years.
Ahh the good ole USA showing its puritanical roots. Where violence is glorified and sex is ostracized. As a dad, I can see how you don't want to think of your kid as a sexual object for anyone. But as a human, I know this will be the case. If you trust that you raised her so that she knows she is more than an object, then he needs to trust that she is smart enough to make this decision. There is nothing wrong with stripping when done by consenting adults for consenting adults. Cutting her off is, at best, controlling and interjecting your thoughts on another adult you claim to love. At worst, he is a hypocrite that has gone to strip clubs and enjoyed them knowing that it is someone's daughter up there dancing for his money. Either way, he is off base. If his daughter was a ballerina or a backup dancer for a musical act, would he feel the same way, I wonder. Trust her to know what's she's doing, support her as long she is not hurting anyone (including herself).
So many questions for OP (except his account has been suspended on Reddit lol) - Would he still have withdrawn his financial support if she was making the same kind of money at another job? If the answer is no then it's not about her "not needing" his support and it's totally about the type of job. - Is it about the "morality" of stripping in general? Did he lecture his coworker about exploiting women for their bodies? If "the guys" from work were going to a strip club after work would he decline to go? And if so would he also lecture them about it? If his coworker wanted to borrow money would he refuse and cite going to strip clubs as a reason? If the answer to those is no then it's not about the morality, it's a "not my daughter" thing. I've got news for you buddy, every single woman working there is SOMEONE's daughter.
NTA... For cutting her cutting her off. Yes THA for.judging her morals. FIRST, sit down, have her make a BUDGET. Find out how much she needs to for her bills. Keep paying her car, make he suck it up every where else. How much is her car payment? How much does she spend on clothes, fast food, other items that can be deemed as.non-essemtial? Inspect what you expect and act.accordingly.
What a douche nozzle! If you do your job well as a stripper, you can make in one night there what you would in a week or more at McDonald's!!! On top of that, Your shifts at McDonald's will vary wildly. I know, I did both jobs. One week I would get 30 hours, and the next 10 at the same McDonald's because we were so overstaffed. My stripping schedule was way more flexible and was guaranteed at least 30 hours.
"thanks dad, customers were offering me extra "work", Now I will be taking them up on it. How much do you usually pay for a BJ, dad?"
I like how comments are telling him about that young man that told him the gossip about the doughter.
I bet he's mainly upset that he can no longer go to that club anymore... Lol! Whata jerk
My cousin worked in Fast Food and worked as a stripper. Not only does stripping pay more, but the girls are private contractors and can work when they want and without management breathing down their backs. Also, she is probably safer at the strip club as they usually employ bouncers the size of gorillas to work the doors and stop men from getting out of control. My sister was held up 3 times working fuel service stations to make ends meet. My cousin..never had an issue and never felt unsafe. So you are willing to cut her off as a consequence for working where she can make the most money, but you won't offer to support her so she can work your supposed perfect job to meet your unreasonable demands. YTA.
Being a stripper isn't "safer" as you call it. I danced at TAO in Las Vegas, the bouncers don't drive home with you. They don't prevent someone from following you home. We had several girls that had stalkers, men, and women trying to follow them home or to where ever they were staying. NTA. The dad is setting up boundaries with his daughter. If she wants to act like an adult she can pay for her own car. The dad shouldn't be paying for his 22 year old daughter's car in the first place.
Load More Replies... Well you get to flex your financial muscles over your own daughter I suppose, so that’s something at least….
Former strip club worker here: I felt safer working topless at a strip club than I did working fully clothed as a server during Happy Hour at Applebees on a Tuesday. Strip clubs have security. Restaurants don’t.
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