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The older we get, the more life experience we pick up along the way. We learn new things, meet different people, travel, make mistakes, and hopefully take something valuable from them. With every new lesson, we should, in theory, become a little wiser and more responsible. In reality, though, someone’s age doesn’t always say much about their maturity.
One Redditor recently asked users to share the signs that scream someone is an adult who still hasn’t grown up, and they had plenty of examples. We’ve rounded up some of their best responses below. Scroll down to read them and see how many you recognize.
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#1
Not being able to handle your emotions. If you're angry and frustrated and your response is to start screaming in the face of others then you are essentially a giant toddler.
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#3
Pick any person 100% engrossed in a religion. They never learned how to think like a grown up.
#4
Taking any actions to make their vehicle louder. Ridiculously loud exhaust should be the realm of high schoolers. If you're in your 30s and your car still wakes people up when you drive around their neighborhood, it's time to grow up.
StrangeOne 1 week ago
Same with subs in the car. Your car sounds like a 100 elephants farting and no one can hear the rest of the instruments playing, let alone make out what you're listening to. Sometimes the frequency register is enough to make your head feel like it's imploding and your eyes are about to burst. At those levels, it's now a sound a*****t weapon that should be highly illegal to be in the hands of regular folks.
#6
Treating kindness as weakness while believing respect should be earned only through fear or intimidation never ends well.
Bored Jellyfish 1 week ago (edited)
I find kindness really gets you far with most people. Those who treat it as a weakness aren’t worth engaging with.
#7
Sounds cliche but not fulfilling your responsibilities. Not cleaning up after yourself, won’t do any cooking, is unreliable for work, neglecting your pets and or kids, etc etc.
L.V 1 week ago
I have several mental illnesses that make it hard to keep on top sometimes. What I've learnt is prioritise ( work, hygiene), efficiency ( get food that require minimal cooking for example), and not feel guilty if I'm too tired after work to do tags that are not essential. No kids or pets though, so that helps
#8
Weaponized incompetence and emotional immaturity.
#9
Zero accountability. Refusing to admit when you are wrong. This weird endless victim mentality, constantly shifting the blame to others. An inability to handle criticism, getting defensive all the time.
#10
Being told to respect a simple boundary, but has a meltdown to instantly victimize themselves instead of respecting said boundary.
#11
Bringing a parent to a job interview. I've seen it.
Spittnimage 1 week ago
Always assume you won't get the job if you got helicopter mommy with you. I always think of a mom wearing those beanies with the helicopter blades when I hear the term helicopter mom.
#12
Posting your drama publicly on social media!
StrangeOne 1 week ago
I hardly post anything anymore. I've come to realize it's become a tool for the narcissists in my life to keep tabs on me.
#13
Judging other adults for the things they enjoy
This isn’t a dig at you OP, but I’d rather spend time with another adult who watches Adventure Time, plays video games, and just does what’s fun than one who thinks those things are immature and only for children.
#14
Insulting a strangers looks, in general, but doing it to get others to laugh is so immature and embarrassing for an adult.
BarkingSquirell 1 week ago
Looksism is horrible but no one ever gets called on it. You know, as if people chose their faces.
#16
When they have no sense of finances and don't want to know where or how food gets to the table.
#17
Unnecessary (aggressive) shouting
shouting at someone when they don't get their way
shouting at someone who's disagreeing with them
just shows that they are a baby who gets people to coddle them by throwing tantrums.
#18
To those saying that being into Pokémon in your 30s is a sign of immaturity: I’m a self-sufficient adult with a well-paying job, a great financial situation and a partner as well. I also have emotional intelligence and good health. Having a “childish” hobby ≠ neglecting your adult life.
Jill Allen 1 week ago
I think it's nice to have a fun little hobby like that. I collect old children's books. Some of the illustrations are just lovely!
#19
Zero accountability.
Everything is always someone else’s fault.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 week ago
I've come across these people more regularly than I would like and it's always annoying.
#20
When the mother still does their laundry.
StrangeOne 1 week ago
Let your mothers retire from parenting you adults, if and when possible.
#21
Men that say they hate vegetables, this screams manchild that only eats nuggets with every fiber of their body.
Ace 1 week ago (edited)
Or else, we just don't like vegetables. Not sure I'd associate it with either gender in particular, but it's true. May of them have bitter flavour notes (most greens) which I, a "super-taster" find deeply unpleasant, and many of them have pasty or slimy textures. There's a few that I would actively choose to eat, but for the most part if it weren't for the sake of my health I could quite happily just not eat them at all. Oh, and I had never eaten a chicken nugget in my life until jut a few weeks ago when some guests had left a full packet of them in te freezer, Ohmygod they are inedible, how do people manage to eat them?
#23
I’m going to put myself on blast and not being emotionally mature during conflicts. When I would get upset I would shut down and just not talk. I needed time to process things but my husband shot that down real quick. Said if you want to process that’s fine but we need to communicate and get through things together.
I realized as an adult I was copying my mom’s way of handling situations which was basically giving everyone the silent treatment as a punishment. She still gives my dad the silent treatment and won’t talk to him for days. As a kid, being ignored by your parent is effed. But growing up with that you don’t realize how wrong it is until an emotionally mature adult points it out. .
StrangeOne 1 week ago
Another perspective of this is childhood trauma. Not being shown or allowed to ever express "negative emotions", not allowed to cry or call out someone's faults. Sure, you're an adult now. But your childhood is the first steps, baseline of your life. It's supposed to shape who you become. If you're restricted, a****d, neglected in any way, shape or form during childhood, those areas of development and growth are going to be delayed.
#24
Still bragging/thinking its cool how much booze they or someone they know can drink.
#25
Taylor Swift fans. I'm not dissing her specifically - she's talented but the hardcore, Taylor is my life kind of fan is ridiculous if you're over 18. When you're 12 it's kinda cute but when you're legally allowed to drive and join the military, that level of fandom is stupid.
#26
Kardashian fans, they're stuck in the brain of a 13 year old girl who thinks the way the Kardashians live is a valid life goal.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 week ago
What I don't get (and I've never watched them) is how they have "fans" at all. A bunch of vacuous, empty-headed women who rely on their s3x lives to make money. Who cares?
#27
Idk but it is annoying if someone with a trust fund and/or rich parents expects everyone else to be as well off or even as adjusted as them. I am responsible for myself but dawg I can't just go to Coachella with you.
#28
Relying on others to handle everything for you.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 week ago
And here is my family wanting me to start asking for help. By the time I ask, I’m drowning in some way, could risk a hospital stay because it’s affecting my health and just can’t do everything by myself any longer.
#29
Passive aggressive responses and behaviour.
Susan Ostling 6 days ago
This kind of s**t makes me insanely angry. Ex-boyfriend was like that
#30
Complaining about having lost a popularity contest six years ago.
#31
Not willing to do basic household chores.
Gunný Petersen 1 week ago
My husband is a darling. He mops the floor when he is bored 😅😅😅❤️ even if he did it the day before 😅
#32
Having their parents get involved into a argument because they feel attacked but just not wanting to fix the problem.
#33
Still acting the same way they did in high school despite nearly being 30
My former friend is this way, hasn't changed a bit since high school from the recent stories I've heard. Still acts like he's the main character of life, still treats people bad if he doesn't think they're of use to him. Still tries to pick fights with strangers because he thinks they're not acting in the way he wants them to. The people who still choose to speak with him are starting to get tired of it.
Spittnimage 1 week ago
My ex's nephew quit going to a Big 10 university because he was used to being BMOC (football) at his little rural high school (probably 30 students in his graduating class) and couldn't face not being popular at college. Talk about main character syndrome.
#34
Oh lord. I have a former friend who grew up with 2 older brothers and her mom did everything for them into adulthood (cooking, cleaning, just never really bothered to teach them the basics). So the woman I knew is now over 40, her car is constantly full of dirty laundry and trash. All 3 siblings live with their parents despite all being between 40 and 50. She used to brag that they wouldn't fill the tanks in their vehicles so if their dad borrowed them, he'd have to fill them up. She has a young kid who she just leaves with the parents and lives her life as if she's child free most of the time. I don't think this poor kid will ever learn the basics either. There's so much more that I won't list but I grew up close to the family and they were seemingly normal but something is wrong when none of your 3 kids ever move out of the house.
#35
When you were the party animal among your friends in your early 20’s, and now you are still the one getting drunk 10’years later and your friends have jobs and relationships .
Salttypepper 1 week ago
That’s not having to grow up that’s a real problem and he needs help it’s an a*******n
#38
Hanging out with much younger peers and not outgrowing the gossip & drama. Just an inability to move on to the next stage of life. Also clinging to an enabling parent and being unable to begin learning how to think for themselves because they stay enmeshed with said parent.
#39
People who still talk about highschool like it was yesterday.
StrangeOne 1 week ago
Talking about High School is just reminiscing. But if you're acting like you're still in High School, then you have some issues to resolve.
#40
Throwing fits when something doesn't go their way. It's easy to tell who grew up with parents that always gave them what they want, just so that they didn't have to hear them whine.
#41
I’m probably in the minority here, but people who make a production of their birthday. If you have a birthday week or have a list of things you want, you are a child.
StrangeOne 1 week ago
I think birthdays are worth celebrating. It can be a celebration that you're still alive and well.
#43
Still using the word "adulting" past the age of thirty.
You are not adulting. You *are* an adult. Using words that makes you sound like two eight year olds in a trench coat isn't going to make forever young.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 week ago
I don’t know. I don’t typically use this expression but mostly because I don’t typically have conversations where that might come up. But I’m not worried about any age using the word “adulting” because it’s a very efficient way to say “doing my level best to handle adult matters and be a responsible person “
#44
Just spent £600 on an original beyblade collection. Couldn’t be happier. I’m 32.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 week ago
I mean, if you're using money you earned (without neglecting your bills, family's needs etc.) on something you want...I don't see that as immature.
#45
When they don't actually accept accountability for their actions, even if they apologize for it.
#47
I’m a dentist. We once had a woman call to make a new patient appointment for her son. Her son was 43 years old.
StrangeOne 1 week ago
What if her son has a disability? I make some new patient appts. for my daughter sometimes. But I'm also working with her on being able to do it on her own. Some receptionists just aren't that patient with her, though.
#48
Not being able to wake up at an appropriate hour and get to places on time. Literally the most basic of responsibilities.
#49
This is one that’s been really frustrating the hell out of me lately but like.
Lack of cleanliness! But the specific kind of ‘I see when thing need cleaned. My eyes work. But instead of having the wherewithal to say ‘oh. This needs cleaned. I’m right here and capable of cleaning said thing. Therefore, I will clean said thing’., they just leave it until either somebody else specifically tells them to clean it, or somebody else does it instead.
Tabitha 1 week ago (edited)
This one is situational. It depends on time and ability to do the cleaning. If I’m on my way out the door for an appointment, I can’t just drop everything and do it then, especially if it’s something labor intensive. If it’s not an emergency, all I can do is make a mental (or physical) note of the thing that needs to be done, and do it when I get back, or just when I have the time. It’s not a character flaw to not immediately drop everything to clean up something that can wait til I get more pressing things done, especially if it’s not urgent that it be done right then. Now, I can’t help it if someone else, who has the opportunity to do it right away, cones along and takes care of it. They have the time that I didn’t have. If the tables were turned, it would be me taking care of it. You can’t be so rigid and unforgiving of another person’s inability to immediately take care of non-emergency things if they have another, more important priority at the time. It’s on their list. They will get to it when they’re done with the other task. They aren’t shirking work and making you do it. Have a little compassion. Other people are not your slaves to be ordered around by you. They have other, ore important things to do right now, and will get to the minor thing when they’re done. If you take it upon yourself to do it instead, that’s on you and not their fault. Besides, would it really harelip you to do it, especially if it’s something minor that can wait?
#51
They can’t and haven’t stayed at a job for more than 1yr.
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 1 week ago
This is a pretentious opinion to have. The job market is f****d, but there's a reason positions have so much turnover. The work/life balance is nonexistent and management expects you to basically break your mind and body for s****y pay. Not being able to maintain employees for more than a year is management's fault.
#52
People who are absolutely closed to trying new foods, who refuse to eat vegetables, who make a huge fuss about food others have made for them... Or worst, who make it seem like foods they don't like are disgusting. .
Elladine DesIsles 1 week ago
*Neurotypical* people who do this. Sensory issues with food are no joke, and don't simply resolve with maturity.
#53
Drinking hard on weeknights.
#54
Having a roommate.
Hear me out - first of all, I disagree with this idea that having a roommate means you haven't grown up. However, I am in the process of buying my first home and going to live alone for the first time in my life. The amount of times I have heard "you're finally becoming an adult" when I tell people I'm getting my own place has surprised me. I didn't realize people thought that living alone was part of adulthood. Did no one watch Golden Girls?
#55
The "adult" of the 19th and 20th centuries is a historical relic.
That older model of the "independent, self-supporting, career-driven adult" was a product of a specific, younger phase of capital accumulation. Expecting modern people to live up to that standard today when the law of value has collapsed, the state is running on trillion-dollar credit cards and stable wage-labor is being phased out is pure ideological delusion.
The people on Reddit are blaming themselves and each other for "failing to grow up," when they should be pointing their fingers at the state-managed zombie system that has robbed them of their time, their labor's value and their future.
#56
An adult who had parents who actively sabotaged their development.
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What do you think ?
Bartlet for world domination 1 week ago
Apparently, the bar is on the floor. I wonder what someone born in the first half of the 20th century would have said. Nothing in here about taking care of people or shouldering responsibility for anything beyond yourself.
Rudie Cant Fail 1 week ago
Not long ago, told my kid facing the reckoning of turning 30: "Buddy, at 30 I knew nothing and could barely find my a**. At 40, generally had a sense of how some stuff in the world worked. At 50, only kinda sorta better understood myself and how I fit into the world."
Bartlet for world domination 1 week ago
Apparently, the bar is on the floor. I wonder what someone born in the first half of the 20th century would have said. Nothing in here about taking care of people or shouldering responsibility for anything beyond yourself.
Rudie Cant Fail 1 week ago
Not long ago, told my kid facing the reckoning of turning 30: "Buddy, at 30 I knew nothing and could barely find my a**. At 40, generally had a sense of how some stuff in the world worked. At 50, only kinda sorta better understood myself and how I fit into the world."
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