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You might not be hosting a fancy dinner or throwing a dramatic ball like in Bridgerton, but the moment someone steps into your home, their eyes and even their noses have already started judging the space whether you like it or not.
And we don’t mean just the obvious stuff like your couch or the color of your walls.
They’re noticing the clutter on your counters, the books on your shelves, and yes, even that “Live, Laugh, Love” sign you thought made you look cheerful and welcoming. Guests pick up on all of it before you’ve even had a chance to offer them a welcome drink.
Recently, netizens were asked to spill the biggest red flags they’ve noticed in someone’s house, and their replies prove that your guests remember them well after they leave.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I had a work friend, Nancy. She was upbeat and caring. I was just 21 when I started working at the company while pursuing my graduate studies. Nancy was in her early thirties and married to a man close to forty.
At that time, my parents lived several states away and none of my other friends were married yet. So when Nancy invited me over for dinner with her husband, I was very grateful and looking forward to a family dinner. When I arrived, Nancy greeted me warmly and I helped her finish up dinner before her husband Brian was due home. As his truck rumbled into the driveway, Nancy said, “He can be a little intimidating and off around new people, but he’s a sweet guy.” I work in human services and I’m an extrovert, so I was confident I could do a lot to smooth our first meeting. I was wrong. Brian angrily opened the door and shouted, “Whose car is parked out front?”. Nancy reminded him I was visiting for dinner. He looked at me and walked upstairs. Nancy said, “He’s tired and hot from working all day doing construction and installation of HVAC systems.
Nancy and I sat on the porch and chatted as Brian cleaned up. She made a gorgeous roasted chicken with potatoes, vegetables and gravy with a decadent chocolate cake for dessert. An hour later Brian comes down stairs scowling. He looks at me and says, “I thought you would’ve left by now. Darlene (not my name, but I didn’t correct him)” I tried to excuse myself, but Nancy insisted I stay.
Dinner was now almost two hours after when it was scheduled. We sat down at the table and Nancy served Brian. He didn’t say thank you - complained how hungry he was. We then served ourselves quickly. He took one bite of the chicken and spat it out. He got up and screamed, “This is f-ing cold.”, then threw his full plate on the floor. I was stunned. He then got up and throw the remainder of the meal on the floor. He grabbed our dishes and tossed them against the sliding door leaving broken plates and smeared food.
Then he simply got up and went into the den and turned on the TV. I was petrified, but Nancy laughed it off, but there were tears in her eyes. Before we could attend to the mess or figure out how I was going to get out of there safely. Brian screams for Nancy to bring him one of those chocolates that look like a orange. She playfully tossed it to him and he caught it. Once she turned around, he chucked it at her head. Then asked me if I wanted to see him target shoot in his back yard. Nancy suggested I leave quietly out the back.
I called the police and the next day at work Nancy told me she sent them away saying her husband was just joking around. I tried to find resources to help her leave, but she wouldn’t and our friendship only remained at work. I left the job when I received a teaching assistantship the next semester. This was before cellphones and email. We lost touch. I hope she’s safe. It’s been 24 years. I still wish I could have done more.
Stephanie Did It 3 hours ago
This guy was straight out of Delores Claiborne. She solved the problem.
RELATED:
#2
No hand soap in the bathroom! Friend of a friend never had hand soap in the bathroom when I went over several times. Gross, just gross! I had to grab a bottle of shampoo from the shower to wash my hands. Needless to say,I did not eat anything there ever. Get your priorities straight!!
GenuineJen 2 hours ago
I wonder if that means there was no bar soap or body wash in the shower either? Shampoo seems like an odd choice if those were available.
#3
I had recently moved to a new neighborhood a few years ago and didn’t know many people. I made friends with a bouncer at a local bar that I liked.
He was a really cool dude and we would meet up for drinks occasionally when he wasn’t working. He was having girl problems and my friend had just gotten out of a relationship and he was just her type. A week later, my girl friend and I went for Happy Hour drinks near his apartment. I texted him to let him know that we were in the area if he wanted to meet up with us and get to know her. He invited us over to his place, so we decided to go there. When he answered the door and lead us upstairs, all we could smell was dirty cat litter, ammonia and garbage.
When we got into his apartment there were flies swarming everywhere, despite the fly paper that was clinging to us as we walked in. His kitchen was stacked with dirty dishes and cookware. The floors were filthy and his cats looked dirty and neglected. He didn’t have much of a living room, so we went to his bedroom, where there was cat litter and poo everywhere.
The only place to sit was on his bed, which looked like it belonged in a crack den, We were afraid to even sit, out of fear of getting bed bugs. We tried to be polite and tough it out, but couldn’t take it anymore. Unfortunately, those Happy Hour drinks were activating our need to pee. I went to check out the bathroom and it made your typical gas station bathroom, look clean! There was dried urine and puke on the floors and toilet, with sketchy stains in the sink.
I immediately made an excuse for us to get the hell out of there. Once we left, we ran to the nearest bar to pee and wash up. Then I rushed home to take a shower. Later that night, he texted me saying, “Sorry about the apartment, it needs a woman’s touch. Perhaps your friend can help, she was cute haha.” Understatement of the century! She will not be returning or speaking to you ever again! The crazy part was that he was always clean and dressed well. I did notice that sometimes he smelled like cat urine, but I chalked it up to his side job of dog walking. We still continued to hang out and remain friends, but stuck to meeting up public places!
Before your guests even take in your carefully chosen décor or admire the plants you’ve tended to lovingly, there’s something else that immediately alarms their senses.
A survey found nearly 30% of people say unpleasant odors are the first thing they pick up on as soon as they step foot inside someone’s house.
The smell can also actually cause friction between people who live under the same roof.
A more recent survey of 2,000 Americans revealed that 58% have argued with someone they live with over recurring household smells.
Trash cans, pet beds, rugs and curtains ranked high on the perpetually smelly list of items people have their eye on replacing, while 33% of them talked about certain clothes or shoes they’d love to replace because they stink.
Six in 10 said a persistent smell had caused tension or awkward conversations in their house.
#4
A "Laugh Love Live" sign next to a "Wine Mommy" sign.
and/or fake vines all over the top of kitchen cabinets.
#5
The first time I went over to my girlfriend's house, it was under the guise of just being a friend of hers. It was the last time I went over, too. We had just started high school.
Her family consisted of her biological father, her stepmom, and her stepbrother. I grew up sheltered, in an unbroken, mildly conservative, yet non-restrictive family. I knew things might work different in her house (i.e. she had lots of chores, had authoritarian parents, etc.) but I wasn't expecting what ended up happening that night.
First, we got to her home, and the first thing that happens is the stepmom parades out and begins shouting for the kids to do their chores. Now, this sort of thing doesn't happen in my family - when you have guests, you're expected to attend to them rather than leave them to their own devices. But, I understood it worked differently… So for about an hour I stood awkwardly around and got to pet her cat a few times. It was… Okay. That is, until the screaming started.
Suddenly, the stepmom is shrieking at the top of her lungs at her son, who begins shouting back at her. Curse words and spit are flying back and forth in front of me, and my girlfriend jumps and backs into the corner of the room. That alone got me a little freaked out. But, it was also a little ridiculous. I'm a giant by female standards, and her entire family hovered somewhere around 5 feet or less. It was like watching two vaguely violent toddlers screaming at each other as I looked down at them.
They were arguing about something like how to use a vacuum correctly. I'd never thought in all my life I'd see a household like that first hand. Suddenly, they were trying to drag my girlfriend into it, then half blamed her for the argument when she didn't respond. It was gross, and all in front of a guest. Due to my well-mannered upbringing, I was appalled… and a little scared. My girlfriend looked terrified.
The stepbrother had a friend over as well. He said it happened all the time, and sometimes they'd chuck things at each other. The dad would get in on it, too. My girlfriend began to slowly open up about it all afterwards… I'm never sure how bad it really is, though - I know that the dad takes his work issues out on her, but then bows to the whim of the real instigator: the stepmom. I avoid her house like the plague, but have her come to my place whenever I can. I use my cat allergy as an excuse when they ask.
#6
Oh the horror!!! My friend's sister got married, and we had a party at their house and stayed late having fun after. It was late and I'd had some alcohol so we decided that I would spend the night there, so we went to sleep in my friends room around midnight. 09:00 am.
I was awoken by several insects crawling all over my body (imagine the horror for a guy who has never seen bed bugs before), there were so many and, big, and ugly, it was horrific. So I jumped out of the mattress I was sleeping in, and hopped on a wooden stool near by.
I sat there hugging my legs and trying not to touch the floor (imagine a muscular guy trembling on a stool) till it was dawn, since I didn't want to wake my friend who was snoring away despite those ugly creatures, after 3 hours of horror and uncomfortable sitting position I quickly dressed up and told him I that I had to leave. On my way home I went into a pharmacy and bought antibiotic detergent and treatments for bug bites, and bought a shirt, pants and a pair of slippers from a store. I went to a public steam, sauna and shower place, took a shower, put all my cloth in a plastic bag and discarded it.
I have a light skin, my whole body was covered in red dots, my back, my chest, my legs, but my arms got it the worst. Two days later that same friend asked me about all the red dots all over my arms and I told him everything. Since then I have been terrified of sleeping anywhere else but my home.
UnclePanda 1 hour ago (edited)
The last place I stayed in Costa Rica had bedbugs. I had the entire flight home to plan and ruminate. It was January and about 20*F and 2 AM but I stopped at a convenience store and grossly overpaid for pesticide bombs. At home (out in the country), I opened all of my bags in the trunk of the car, stripped completely off (do not try to imagine that), set off all four bug bombs, sealed the car, and streaked inside. I call it a success because I never saw any bedbugs.
The tricky part about smells is that you can quickly get used to them, and might not even notice them after a while. But your poor guests walk in with fresh senses.
They can easily smell pet odors that stick to your rugs or couches. They can even smell the garlic, onions, or fish that have settled into your clothes or are circulating through ventilation systems.
Closed-up rooms can also develop a stale scent over time.
#7
When I was a kid I had a friend, we will call him Adam. I met Adam in first grade and he was a fun kid. Care free had all the coolest toys and he was assertive which was great because I was a bit of a fighter myself so on the playground we were kings.
One day he invites me to his house. We lived in a small town in the north east at the time so he wasn't far from where I lived. I get to his house and right away a few things were off putting. Mind you I was 7 or 8 and yet these things made red flags pop up in my mind.
For starters his mother was abnormally young. I thought she was his older sister and I greeted her as such to find out that she was his mom. She thought I was complimenting her. As an adult I look back and realize that her age of 24 didn't make much since if Adam was 7, his little sister was 5, and the youngest was 3. This means she had Adam at 16. Now I'm not judging but this was a flag because Adams dad was in his 50s. He had greying hair and was nearing retirement. So you do the math there.
Also his father smelled of alcohol and was pleasant to me but utterly neglected his family. At one point we were playing and Adams mom tells him it's lunch time. He little yells and I will never forget this, “mom, what the hell, we are playing right now”, his mom responds with “Lunch time, now”, to which he replies “we aren't hungry”. She then says “watch your language”… like that was it. Watch your language.
The dad just sits there on the couch watching tv. Fast forward a few months and he comes into school with a broken arm. In the meantime my parents had forbid me from going to his house again for obvious reasons. I asked him what happened and he told me his dad got mad. He was later pulled into the counselors office and from there I don't know what happened. Then one day he stopped coming to school and the teacher announces to the class that he was hit by a car in front of his house. That was it. I never saw him again.
Years later the story kind of came together and I believe his dad finally snapped on the family and went to leave in his truck. Adam ended up in the street somehow and his dad ran him over.. somehow. His mother lost the kids after that and the house. As far as I know he moved or died after that. Looking back there were just so many red flags that my 7 year old self didn't understand that my now 27 year old self gets and I'm glad I never was at his house on one of his dad's bad days.
#8
Smell of decomposition. I seem to recall this figured into Gacy’s undoing. He was so cocky and gregarious that he invited the detectives assigned to surveil him into his house for coffee. As I remember, it was autumn or winter because the furnace kicked on and, you know, smells like that don’t improve in a closed-up and heated house. Probably enough to curl your nose hair. Anyway, detectives are paid to suspect, so not a particularly bright move on Gacy’s part.
Stephanie Did It 2 hours ago
I guess after a while, one can go nose-blind to just about anything.
#9
My friend of 30 years asked me to stay with her daughter when she went out of town. I had not visited her in her home since she divorced.
I was to stay in her daughter’s room and her daughter stayed in the mother’s room.
When I got to the house I was dismayed to find that it smelled like a barn. They had a dog, several kittens, a rabbit, birds, and who knows what else. The stench was so bad that my eyes watered.
Fortunately it was cool enough outside that I could crack the window in the bedroom where I was staying. The girl complained that we ate out every day, but I could not eat there.
I never went back to visit her house. She did not live that way when she was married.
Sometimes, certain smells could also be a warning sign — a fishy odor can mean overheating electrical wiring, or sewage smells might mean plumbing issues or methane buildup.
Even mold and moisture problems give off a musty scent that you might stop noticing after a while. These smells are not just unpleasant, they can be dangerous if not treated in time.
That’s why cleaning is important because no matter how many candles you light or air fresheners you spray, there’s no escaping a bad smell that’s already taken root.
#10
A colleague of mine asked around for people to catsit for her while she went to a conference for a week. She posted on facebook, asked the office, advertised it as “stay in a wonderful studio flat in X with four loving cats!” - basically, she wasn’t able to pay, so offering house stay in exchange.
I didn’t need temporary housing and she lived over an hour from me, so I didn’t volunteer. Apparently nobody else needed it either, which is how the day before she was due to leave we were the only people in our office and she begged me to do it. I had no boundaries, and she obviously didn’t have any money to hire a cat sitter or put them in boarding, so I said I’d do it. She agreed that I only needed to come three times instead of every day because it was such a long journey (but was welcome to sleep over), and the cats can regulate their own food. She gave me the keys.
The next day, I got an email - “I forgot to tell you - there are three rats as well. But you don’t need to worry about them, they will eat the cat food.” When I first got to her house - over an hour journey from me - I could smell cat urine as I was going up the stairs. As I turned the key in the lock, I could hear mewing, and had to squeeze inside to avoid letting all the cats out.
The smell was so strong that I had to tie my shirt around my face. I looked around to find a single room with a tiny bathroom off it and a closet kitchen - not uncommon in London, but way too small to be keeping seven animals. Everything was a mess, and the wall nearest the litter box had feces smeared up it. The litter box didn’t have actual litter, only a layer of thoroughly-drenched newspaper. I cracked the one window, which required me to climb over the unmade and unwashed bed. Immediately, one of the cats jumped up and out the window onto the adjoining roof. I went to the sink to wash my hands, and there was no soap. No dish soap, no hand soap, no body soap. So I washed my hands with shampoo.
There were dishes piled high and rubbish everywhere. I changed the newspaper in the litter box (with additional padding), gave the cats their food, and located the rats to ensure all three were present and alive. Then I spent 20 minutes trying to coax the escaped cat back inside with a spoonful of wet food, which was 20 minutes longer than I could stand to be in the smell. I considered calling RSPCA, but all the animals were very well-taken care of. They had collars and shiny fur and no obvious signs of distress. The next time, I went back with gloves, soap, wipes, and litter.
After she came back, she didn’t comment on any of it and refused to pay me back for the cleaning supplies. I don’t know if she assumed that the filth was normal, or that I would want to sleep in her bed smelling like cat urine.
#11
Years ago I got a call from someone I had previously been friendly with and she wanted me as a friend. I had never been comfortable around her but thought, How bad can it be? Big mistake.
The woman had just broken up with her partner of 30 years, was an emotional black hole and crazy besides. I mean, how natural is it to run stop signs to save her brakes? She was calling or texting constantly (27 texts in 2 hours) and wanting help with everything from watering her yard to stacking firewood.
I finally had to tell her when I went for a visit that the dog smell in her house was more than I could handle and I would not longer be visiting (she had 5 dogs, two that had issues). She also had 2 pet snakes that often were just loose in the house.
The time that sealed it for me was when I stepped on the tail of one of the dogs and one the snakes came after me. Not phobic but I don’t much care for snakes so I was gone pretty fast.
Another friend tried helping her and she nearly ended him the one time he had to ride with her—yeah, ran a red light and the vehicle clipped the rear end on his side. Crazy.
Crystalwitch60 4 hours ago
Animal control ! snakes should not be loose ffs I’ve got 4 dogs n two snakes , my house does not stink of dog , n my snakes are in a large vivarium ffs
#12
It was summer and I ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen in over 15 years. She invited me over for a catch-up visit the next week. I dressed casually in a long, white prairie style sundress and sandals.
When I arrived, I was greeted enthusiastically at the front door by a large pack of obnoxious, yapping, jumping dogs. Now, I’ve always had dogs and cats myself, but I’ve never allowed my dogs to maul visitors at the front door. Luckily I’m an animal lover and very tolerant of such behavior.
We sat down for lunch and a long chat and within mere minutes, I noticed my white dress was covered with fleas. Literally hundreds, if not thousands of them. In the span of about five minutes, I received numerous flea bites on my arms and legs.
So, I wondered how I could tactfully handle this situation. When I could feel the fleas crawling all up under my clothes, I said to her, “you know you have a serious flea infestation, right?” She went into this long rant about how she’d tried everything to get rid of them but they kept “coming back.” So I told her that she had to repeatedly and simultaneously treat both the house and her numerous dogs and cats to first get rid of adult fleas and then the unhatched eggs. It would require a professional exterminator.
By that time, I had made my way to the front door and told her I would love to get together later in the week at a nice Mexican restaurant nearby (I remembered her favorite food from when we were younger). She agreed that she would call me to set the day and time. It didn’t surprise me that I never heard from her again. And it took two months for the hundreds of flea bites I received to heal up completely.
The quickest way to get rid of natural smells in your home? Take a page from the Germans.
They follow a daily practice called lüften, which means airing out your space. It’s all about letting in fresh air to reduce odors, humidity, pollutants, and even the risk of mold.
Even when it’s freezing outside, opening the windows for a few minutes is a standard part of daily life.
This habit is catching on in other countries too — TikTokers have started calling it “burping your home,” and it’s becoming a popular way to quickly clear out stale smells.
“Crack a window while cooking and run the vent hood longer than you think. If something really lingers, simmer a pot of lemon slices and whole cloves for 10 minutes, or wipe down surfaces with a vinegar and water solution to cut grease and scent molecules,” says cleaning expert Nicole Jaques, founder of The House CEO.
#13
It wasn't exactly a friend, but an acquaintance that we knew well, and got along with. There was some community project that my mother, a couple of her friends and this lady were working on. I was about 10, and my mother brought me along, to this ladies house when it was her turn to host, because she couldn't leave me home alone.
This lady had come to our house a few times, and she always smelled stale, not BO, but a smell that I associated with not bathing. Now it was time for the group to meet at her house and work there. We went in and a couple of the group were sitting at the table, talking. The hostess asked if they wanted coffee, and they said yes.
She went to the sink, which was stacked high with dirty dishes, and rummaged around for 4 coffee cups and glass for me. She rinsed the dirty cups under the running tap, using her fingers, and a dirty cloth to get the old coffee off. She didn't use dish soap. She then filled them and put them on the table, and went to the fridge, to get some milk, for the coffee and me. She started to pour milk in my glass, and it was lumpy, and she said I guess you will have to have water. She rinsed out the glass, filled it with water, and sent me in to watch TV, so they could work.
I used my water, to water her split leaf philodendron. I could still see stains on the glass. When we left, my mother hadn't touched her coffee. My mother told me that we were never going back, and when we got home, she phoned her friends, and rearranged the schedule, so that no more meetings were at this ladies house. 30 years later, reading her obituary, I learned that she suffered with depression, off and on, her whole life.
patricia patricia 1 hour ago (edited)
Sorry to disagree. A depressed person can let things get out of hands, but we are well aware of our environment. When we are in the depth of a crisis we can live in the middle of chaos, but we know d**n well it's chaos and we wouldn't dream of bringing anybody home. We know what we are doing is not normal, but we can't help it. There was another problem here, apart from depression.
#14
No order to anything. As a Mover, I've been in many homes. Most are tidy and clean enough. Then there's the hoarders who keep everything and there is some system for them to find everything. Hard to move but it's not dirty, it's just a lot.
The worst are the pigs. Cigarette butts in an old cup of pepsi laying under the bed as the mold almost attains enough knowledge to try to escape the sty for cleaner pastures. Garbage bins believed to be as mythical as the Yeti or Loch Ness. Shame not at all a trait to the owners/renters. As soon as you walk in, you know how the day is going to be. Are they clean, tidy, collectors or just lazy and dirty.
Once the scent test is passed (or failed), guests start scanning visually and most of them are looking for signs of care… or a lack of it.
Clutter and unclean spaces are some of the quickest ways to make people feel uncomfortable when they walk in.
That doesn’t mean you need to adapt the minimalist lifestyle.
In fact, the more your home shows your personality, the better — a few art pieces, photos, or books on the shelves can make a space feel lived-in and warm.
But there’s a difference between showing character and letting chaos take over.
“Perhaps the single biggest habit of people with tidy homes is they don't let clutter build up. They're selective about what they keep, and quickly donate or discard items no longer used,” says professional home organizer and CEO of Clean Carpets Josh Miller.
#17
I had a brilliant, funny girlfriend in high school and she invited me to her parents home for dinner. I come from a home where I literally never once saw my parents argue or be disrespectful to each other and our dinners were quiet. My dad might talk about his day at work but that was it. I was a quiet, shy kid from a Catholic family and my girlfriend was Jewish. Before this I went to Catholic school and didn’t know any Jewish people (unless you count Jesus, lol).
I get to her house at dinner time and all hell breaks loose. The parents are yelling at each other right in front of me. My stomach is churning and I’m extremely uncomfortable watching them fight. My girlfriend seemed fine like nothing is wrong.
After dinner I ask my girlfriend if her parents are getting divorced. She burst out laughing at me. She says no and she asked me why I asked that. I said they appear to hate each other. She laughed again and said that’s just how they talk to each other and they actually love each other very much. It was only after watching Frank and Estelle Constanza bicker on the Seinfeld tv show that I fully understood that different cultures and families communicate in different ways. However, I never went back there for dinner again. (I can still hear Estelle yelling at Frank “You’re not giving away my waterpick!!”, while Frank shouts back “Serenity Now!”)
#18
Smell of cat pee.
A sink filled with dirty dishes or that infamous chair stacked with unclean laundry can make your guests assume that you’re lazy, disorganized or that you don’t care about your surroundings.
Fruit flies in the kitchen or cobwebs on the walls usually show up because of stale food or dampness in the house, which are huge signs of unhygienic practices.
Research shows that if your space is neat and organized, most people assume you’re responsible, careful, and easy to get along with. But if it’s messy or cluttered, they might think you’re less organized and more stressed.
“You don't find dishes piled in the sink in neat homes. Whether it's washing up your plate after having a snack or loading the dishwasher right then, cleaning-as-you-go is the rule of thumb,” says Miller.
According to a study, burnout or a poor work-life balance can impact the healthy habits of someone at home, like cleaning their living space, doing their chores, or caring for their plants.
#20
Strong, disgusting odours that are nausea inducing. And they never have windows open to air them out, either. Especially on a hot summer day.
#21
If you see one cockroach, no big deal.
If you see a second cockroach later on, tell yourself that there are probably hundreds of them in hidden place of the location.
Small advice: Washing the dishes every day is what guarantees you having them inside your house. These insects are especially looking for fresh exposed cooked food.
There’s also a very thin line between clutter and hoarding.
While clutter is everyday disorganization such as the unopened mail, unfolded clothes, or scattered toys — hoarding disorder is a mental health condition where people have a really hard time getting rid of things, so much so that their home can’t be used properly.
Studies suggest around 2–6% of people may experience hoarding disorder, and research has found a notable link with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
One UK study reported hoarding symptoms in about 20% of participants with ADHD.
#22
I had a friend ( god bless he ain’t my friend no more..) He lived with his mother, 3 sisters, 3 dogs and 2 cats.. the whole place was a mess to say it easily, but I was used to living in a messy house. But goddamn, whenever I stepped in, the place smelled bad, the kitchen was always 24/7 a mess, dishes everywhere, cat/dog food spread on the floor, animal droppings and pee also.
His room? Dog pee on the floor, dishes from weeks ago.. horrible. But I was like: okay, whatever. I walk in the bathroom, oh my lord. It was a MESS. Like an actual mess. Clothes over the floor, the toilet.. not going there how it looked like. I still thought okay.. whatever I’m gonna be fine. But one night after going clubbing with him, I wanted to go home, but then he told me: “you can stay at my place” so I nodded and went there. He pulled a mattress and a pillow for me.. I kid you not, I woke up in the middle of the night with my nose stuffed so badly, my eyes itching like I’m having a full on allergic reaction. I woke up at 8 am, and.. to my surprise I got pink eye, from the pillow cause his dogs or cats have been sleeping on the pillow or something. I just thought okay: I’m gonna die there cause I was itching and it felt like I got some kind of a disease. After that experience, I didn’t stay at his place. Worst experience ever
#23
My husband and I had known this couple for about 15 years at the time. They lived in another state and we were going with our young son for my husband and her husband to go to a football game. We were to stay the weekend at their place because we had hosted them several times before. Now my ex husband is an exceptional host and is always trying to make everyone as comfortable as possible, offering drinks, cooking great meals. I guess I was a little spoiled.
We got there after driving several hours, we were hungry and thirsty. The 3 of us sat on the couch with our bags still in the car. They did not offer us food, drink or to go anywhere. They did not show us where we would be sleeping. It was awkward but I wasn’t going to let it get to me. The guys finally went together to pick up dinner and I had to make awkward conversation with his wife.
Finally we are ready for bed and they show us to the attic. We had to hunch over to avoid hitting our heads on anything. There was a very small twin bed with one pillow. We didn’t think to bring our own bedding. Our son slept on the bed and my husband and I slept on the hardwood floor using our bags as pillows, no blanket or cushion. The next morning we woke up and they made just enough breakfast for their family. They are very likeable intelligent people but hosting is not their forte.
#24
Overpowering air fresheners. Dirty doors and knobs especially the bathroom. Rotting food in the refrigerator. Sink overflowing with dirty dishes. Any hoarding indicators.
This list shows that your guests don’t expect royal-level hosting. Instead, they're usually judging how clean or organized you are.
Your home doesn’t need to look like a spread from Architectural Digest, but there are definitely a few things you can do to make sure your space feels welcoming.
Keep the air fresh, have a proper place for your guests to sit, and make sure the space feels clean rather than chaotic — even something as simple as getting rid of old magazines or clearing a side table so that your guest has space to put down their stuff can go a long way.
#25
My wife and I have been friends with another couple. We used to play poker and hang out with them at their house.
It had been a couple years since we hung out because we’ve both had kids and the time raising them we’ve each been so focused on the little ones. The father had also been deployed to Afghanistan and had injured his back. On social media, they had portrayed a clean and great life. Their kids always wore great outfits and made us a little jealous of the cool outfits their kids would wear.
We went to visit them in the quaint suburban house and upon entry, the house reeked of animal feces, urine and dander. The kids were in dirty clothes and you could tell nothing had been wiped down for quite some time. The bathroom was even worse, which given the conditions of the house, my wife refused to use. I did, and it hadn’t been cleaned for months.
They had his sister living there with them and her son as well. The father had been (and as far as we know, currently is) still taking prescription opioids. the meds were accessible to the kids on front living room table and my wife even found random pills. It’s sad because when we visited, our kids really got along and we were hoping to see the husband. He slept in the middle of the day & we endured several hours of the household stench so we could chance a meeting with him. He never got up. My wife and I vowed never to go back.
EDIT: our friend injured his back lifting in Afghanistan. Upon return, he had difficulty finding and keeping a job. My wife and offered to have him come to our house to do repairs. While in between jobs (which he’s a great handyman and he didn’t, ultimately ishis choice). Years after his return and after several very public outcries of how life was not going his way, going I messaged him and texted and asked about getting out, all without reply Much like many folks in the armed services, our friend isn’t the type to ask for help. He’s takes pride in following the rules to a T and not breaking rules. Perhaps he does have substance a abuse problem. Perhaps he’s ashamed. Or both. At the time we visited his family, he had just gotten a new job within the army was active with the VA and hopefully turning his life around. His wife had had their third kid. Some might opine that calling social service is the best thing. Some might say let him pull himself up by his own bootstraps. One thing my wife and I learned is, maybe people don’t need to be interlopers and being another person telling him what to do and how to do it is empathy in its own sense. There is a difference when a person asks for help and when we force help onto others out of personal belief. OUR empathy lies in the fact the we stand at the ready when people ask for help that they need. It takes all kinds, folks.
#26
When I was in 3rd grade, I made friends with the new girl at my school. I didn’t have many friends, as I was fresh into the world of public school. She was deemed “crazy” by the other kids. I didn’t care. I liked crazy.
A few months later, she invited me over to her house. Her parents were divorced, and she lived with her mom. At this point, I had never experienced a singe parent home. Okay, something new. Later that evening, her mother was on the phone with someone that she apparently didn’t want to speak to anymore. Rather than hanging up the phone, she put her finger over the mic and called over to me. “Hey! You like acting, right?” I nodded. Without any warning, she told the man on the phone, “I have to go, my daughter just cut herself on some scissors!” First of all, I was nothing NEAR a close friend to either her or her child. She told me to scream and act like I had cut myself. I asked her why I needed to lie, and she insisted I do it. I refused. So she made her daughter do it. Why? I don’t know. I’d like to say I never went back, but unfortunately, I did. AH, mistake. I told my mom about this, and she was very upset. I was too. That family was .. crazy to say the least. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but it was nothing close to that.
#27
I befriended a woman from work whom I admired because she was well respected having Important contacts and information about our company and her job. She went through a period of upgrading her modest home having 3 walls knocked down in order to save money. They rebuilt with keeping a portion of the old house surrounding it and changing its interior.
Every day during lunchtime I would go shopping with her or talk to her about the details she was putting into it. She selected custom cabinetry, designer faucets and cabinet pulls. Hardwood floors throughout the home. Casablanca ceiling fans. Her window treatments were made of the same fabrics covering benches and bedspreads. When I finally got invited to her home she was selling it filing bankruptcy. She developed bad credit, had no money and could no longer afford the house. The situation had gotten so bad that her husband started the habit of drinking alcohol. Because she lived on the banks of a creek in the back of her home, the water had risen and flooded the first level of her home and she needed help cleaning it. She asked if I would come help her and that way I could also see her home.
The immediate red flag were the piles of trash in the front yard. It was stuff like broken dolls, old telephone parts and garbage. The dumpster outside in front of the garage was half full. And nothing could prepare me for what was inside. She was not a hoarder but I doubt if she had ever cleaned her home. The hardwood floors were black with dirt from the front door to the kitchen. The stainless steel sink was corroded and filled with dishes with a clogged drain and the beautiful cabinets she was once proud of were dirty. I honestly didn’t know where to start. She offered me a sandwich and I sat down and ate. Afterward she took me on a tour. What might have been a beautiful mansion at one time was the site of a faded beauty. I had no idea how great she expanded this house. It was massive sitting on 6 acres of land with a 3 car garage that backed up to a creek. The truth came to light that she had run everybody off with the cares of this house driving them crazy. As I began to help her sort through her things, I realized they had little monetary value. All of her stuff on the main level was infested with mold and mildew. Another red flag was when I began to get sick from it. She gave me an antique footstool that I took home and stripped it of everything even refinishing the wood legs but I had gotten so sick from it I couldn’t bring myself to go back.
#28
Tin foil on windows, signs hanging up that say something to the effect of, "I love my Pitbull/German Shepherd," curtain over doorway instead of actual door, ashtrays overflowing with cigarette butts, cobwebs hanging from ceiling but floor is somehow clean, and couches reeking of dog/nicotine when you sit in them.
Bonus points if there is a white diesel truck in the driveway.
#29
Smell. I deliver and good god people really can go smell blind to the horrendous odor of their house.
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 hours ago
Go away on holiday. What you smell on your return is what others smell. Mine used to smell of dog a lot (got told by non-dog owners). We've always had dogs, so dog smell is part of my life *shrugs*
#30
The seller's realtor told me that is was gas I was smelling when we toured the basement. I wasn't buying it - her story or the house - because growing up with cats there is no mistaking that smell.
#31
A little over 35 years ago, a co-worker invited me and my wife over for dinner. She struck me from the get-go as a bit on the ‘flakey’ side, but she was new to the area, hadn’t made any friends that we were aware of, and it seemed rude to say no.
So we got to her apartment and she asks us if we’d like to try a drink that we’d likely never heard of. We agreed and she pulled out a bottle of “Screech.” She was right. We’d never heard of it, and just to make sure I hadn’t hallucinated this entire incident, I just checked online and sure enough, it still exists!
So she pours three shots and neither my wife nor me could really get past the extreme burn… we commented that the name was appropriate. You really did want to screech when you took a sip of this stuff. So my co-worker laughs it off and says something to the effect of “Yeah… it’s not for everyone” and picks up our two shot glasses and pours them back into the bottle. So yeah. Pouring a drink back in the bottle from a used glass was a total ‘red-flag’ and no… we never went back! Although I wonder if she’s still pouring shots out of that same bottle!
UnclePanda 1 hour ago
Screech appears to mean moonshine but there's a commercial product that has 40% alcohol, in which case, the brief lip contact likely never mattered. More likely - she's an alcoholic and couldn't waste the booze.
#32
This is a story about my schoolmate. Lets call her, Annie. Annie is a small, petite, weighted probably never more than 50kg in the entire time I knew her in school. Then we all graduated from high school and life goes on. We remain friends. Although I caught a glimpse of her being nasty before to some friends, I chalked it off as just being a hormonal teenager.
While waiting to start college, we worked together at a women clothing shop. One time after work, we grabbed drinks and I got a bit too plastered to drive home. So I crashed at her place. She lived with her mom and grandma.
The next morning, her mom barged through her room and she immediately sat up and scream for her to “get the hell out of my room!” I woke up startled. During breakfast, she threw the plate away because she hated her mom’s cooking. Not the kind that secretly tilt your plate and scrap the food off behind your mom’s back, more like treating your mom as if she’s the maid. Her mom got upset and started crying. Annie simply blurt out “your food is always horrible!” I almost choked on my coffee when she did that. I was eating the same food (just scrambled eggs) and it tasted fine. Apparently Annie hates eggs. Especially if it’s scrambled. She wants sunny side up. So mom went into the kitchen and fried sunny side up for her. She wasn’t bothered to say thanks. She just grumbled saying “wouldn’t it be better if you don’t do the first mistake? It’s all your fault that I treated you as such.”
You see, in my family, if you raise your voice to my parents disrespectfully, they would make sure you sit through rounds of tough talking, mostly nagging about manners but it would make you feel ashamed of yourself. Annie doesn’t care. In her mind, everyone is at fault, never was any of it her mistakes. During lunch, she ordered her mom to bring food upstairs to her room. She slammed the door on her mom’s face after she put a tray of food on her study table. While eating, I kept thinking about her poor mom being treated like thrash. I wonder if I ever get on her bad side, what would she do to me? True enough, a few months after that we had a minor argument about some work stuffs. Annie came over to my house (was still living with my parents at that time) and she screamed her bloody head off because I ignored her messages if apology.
My mom told her to get lost and to stop being friends with me. Annie simply doesn’t have any respect towards anyone. Funny thing is, she demanded the respect to be given to her. I stopped going to her house because I cannot stomach the way she treated her mom. When her grandma ask for anything, she told that wheelchair bound lady to “frick off, would ya?” I guess, some of us don’t appreciate things until it’s gone. When her grandma passed away, Annie cried for days because she said “no one is going to love me like she does”, to the embarrassment of her mom. When her mom is at the hospital, Annie didn’t even visit. By the time she gets discharged, her mom had had enough of her antics. She threw all of her daughter’s stuff out the door and told her to live on her own and to not ask for attention, after all she’s now legally 18.
I found Annie’s FB profile a few months ago. She now claims disability and still work menial jobs for her mom’s refusal to not work on weekends. I guess, be respectful of the owner of the house regardless if there are any battles or not is someone you know.
#34
If they been living there for years and the house is super empty. One small chair in the living room. A mattress on the floor.
#36
Leftover food on a table is a big one. Could indicate they rarely do chores, or don't do them well when they're done. if they offer you a drink, look for spots on their glasses first if you can.
#42
If they don't have me take my shoes off at the entrance.
Nicole Weymann 2 hours ago
I disagree with this one. Standards differ, locally and culturally.
#43
Bad house layout, usually maybe when the house is interesting...(Like.. out of placed carpets, weird photos and weird stains, a weird vibe. Usually messy but some can be clean.).
What do you think ?
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 minute ago
Went with my brother to visit a friend of his in England. To this day I don't know how I kept my jaw from falling open. There was stuff piled everywhere. Not hoarder-style, more like they thought bookshelves were illegal. Books, papers and detritus covered every surface. And this was a man, wife and 2 kids. We'd been invited for supper (tea?) and I kid you not, there was not enough space on the table for my plate. I was literally balancing it on the edge of the table when the guy notices. "Oh, I should probably move those books, haha." Went out into the back yard with the daughter (about 6) while bro and friend talked gaming, and the grass was taller than the little girl was, in a yard the size of a postage stamp! This was almost eight years ago and I'm still flabbergasted.
Stephanie Did It 1 hour ago
I had a relative who lived several states away, so visits were usually a week or more of staying at their home. Very heavy smokers who kept their home hermetically sealed so the air literally tasted awful. They insisted that no one was allowed to shower more than once per week "because no one sweats in this climate." They had a sign in the bathroom that said "If you didn't eat it, don't put it in the toilet." This meant no toilet paper in the john because they had a septic tank and decided that without toilet paper, they could avoid cleaning the septic tank for 5 years at a time. So what happened to the dirty toilet paper? Into the bathroom trash can. From there into garbage bags. The garbage bags went into the garage. Permanently. Rows and piles of stacked garbage bags full of soiled toilet paper. Needless to say, one visit was one too many.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 minute ago
Went with my brother to visit a friend of his in England. To this day I don't know how I kept my jaw from falling open. There was stuff piled everywhere. Not hoarder-style, more like they thought bookshelves were illegal. Books, papers and detritus covered every surface. And this was a man, wife and 2 kids. We'd been invited for supper (tea?) and I kid you not, there was not enough space on the table for my plate. I was literally balancing it on the edge of the table when the guy notices. "Oh, I should probably move those books, haha." Went out into the back yard with the daughter (about 6) while bro and friend talked gaming, and the grass was taller than the little girl was, in a yard the size of a postage stamp! This was almost eight years ago and I'm still flabbergasted.
Stephanie Did It 1 hour ago
I had a relative who lived several states away, so visits were usually a week or more of staying at their home. Very heavy smokers who kept their home hermetically sealed so the air literally tasted awful. They insisted that no one was allowed to shower more than once per week "because no one sweats in this climate." They had a sign in the bathroom that said "If you didn't eat it, don't put it in the toilet." This meant no toilet paper in the john because they had a septic tank and decided that without toilet paper, they could avoid cleaning the septic tank for 5 years at a time. So what happened to the dirty toilet paper? Into the bathroom trash can. From there into garbage bags. The garbage bags went into the garage. Permanently. Rows and piles of stacked garbage bags full of soiled toilet paper. Needless to say, one visit was one too many.
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