A best friend can be many things. Maybe it’s your next door neighbor from childhood who you share an eternal bond with from biking around the neighborhood together for years. Perhaps it’s your roommate from your freshman year of university who was there to make every all-night cram session much more fun. Or maybe it’s a person that you met through a shared interest like your favorite sport or hobby. Whoever your best friend is, they hold a special place in your heart, and they are likely the only person that you feel comfortable opening up to about certain topics.

But the people we love the most have the most power to hurt us, and unfortunately, some people have to face the hard truth that their best friend might not actually have their best interest at heart. One Reddit user, CrypticCrunch, posed the question, “When was the moment you realized that your best friend wasn't your best friend?” and sadly many people could relate to this experience. Below, you'll find some of the most heartbreaking epiphanies people had about their former best friends, as well as an interview with therapist and creator of Alyssa Marie Wellness Inc, Alyssa Mancao. We hope that these stories do not feel familiar to you, but maybe they will inspire you to send your best friend a message reminding them how much you appreciate them. And if you’re interested in reading even more similar stories after finishing this piece, you can check out Bored Panda’s last article on the same topic right here.

#1

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend After she told me my sexual assault was my fault, I ended that 5 year friendship right then and there.

lovelyfatality , RODNAE Productions Report

bill nye the russian spy
Community Member
2 months ago

she WHAT?

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Every relationship fluctuates over the years, especially a best friendship that may have lasted for decades. But when we’ve invested years into a relationship, it can be hard to notice when it’s become more of a burden than a gift. We tend to romanticize the past and cling to all of the positive experiences, even if they were long ago, when sometimes, it’s just time to call it quits. 

To get some insight on how to know when it’s time to end a friendship, we consulted Alyssa Mancao, therapist and creator of Alyssa Marie Wellness Inc. “Signs that it's time to end a friendship are when you feel that your values are no longer compatible and you no longer desire to have them in your life, not even in the peripheral,” Alyssa says. “This often is due to a long history of incompatibility, betrayal, and mistrust. It is also normal to outgrow each other as friends and individuals. Cornerstones of a friendship are trust and joy, and without those things it may be a sign that it is time to move on,” she explains. “A person who competes with you, does things behind your back, and / or doesn't reciprocate action may not be someone that you would consider a close friend. Compatibility is an important part of a friendship and if you value loyalty, honesty, etc then it might be important for you that you have friends with similar values.” 

#2

When she asked me out and I realised I was utterly, completely and hopelessly in love with her. 18 years and 3 kids later and I love her even more :)

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WordWeaver
Community Member
2 months ago

That's beautiful!

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“Lastly, our bodies can sense when we are no longer interested in having someone in our life: (the following is unrelated to social anxiety) we might feel more irritable around them, have headaches when we're with them, and feel our mood shift when we interact with them,” Alyssa says. “We might also notice that we feel hesitant to be around them, avoid spending time with them, and no longer feel fulfilled when we do spend time with them.”

We also asked Alyssa what she thinks is important to get from a friendship. “Connection, conversation, safety and joy. Our friends are our support system, of course this varies based on the degree of friendship (we have close friends and we have friends that we may not talk to for a long period of time but feel like no time has passed when we do reconnect),” she says. “Friendships are the relationships that we get to choose in our life, so it doesn't make sense to choose friendships and connections that don't bring you peace. Our friends are our confidants and the people that we can turn to when we are feeling low, share our wins with and everything in between. These are the moments that connect us to our friends. I believe we can also have healing experiences in our friendships, we heal within human connection and with the right friendships we can feel better about ourselves.”

#3

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend She started dating my rapist.

milkvine , RODNAE Productions Report

Autumn
Community Member
2 months ago

That is a f*cking low blow. How could someone knowingly do that?

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Alyssa also shared some advice for anyone who knows they need to distance themselves from a friendship. “Remind yourself that you are doing the right thing for you in this season of your life. The discomfort around distancing yourself from a friend might feel like guilt, but guilt is an emotion that indicates that you are doing something wrong,” she shares. “So remind yourself that you are not wrong for wanting to take care of yourself. If you are struggling with distancing yourself, write out a list of the reasons why you are distancing yourself, what you hope to gain by separating yourself from them (peace of mind, ease, minimizing your emotional labor) and remind yourself of how you have been feeling in the friendship, too."

"It's common to hyper focus on the good times when leaving a friendship or relationship, this might trip you up and have you question your decision making, so being clear about why you are doing what you are doing can be a helpful tool in facilitating the separation process. Lastly, depending on the context. it might even be a growth opportunity for you to share your intentions (depending on each person's level of emotional maturity) because ending a friendship doesn't have to be messy, chaotic, or dysfunctional, it can be a normal conversation that promotes healthy good- byes.”

Finally, Alyssa noted, “Let's normalize how our individual growth can sometimes bring us closer to our friends, or further apart. Being further apart from someone doesn't have to be a good / bad situation, we can just view it as something that just is and is part of the ebbs and flow of life.”

If you’d like to hear more words of wisdom from Alyssa, you can check out her company’s website right here.

#4

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When she told me my husband and I would make hideous babies because red headed babies are the ugliest thing she has ever seen. She also locked me out of our hotel 4 hours from home with no way home at 3 am that same day after an arguement over her saying my husband kills people for a living (he's a chemist who works on developing chemotherapy).
That was the last time I've spoken to her, 4 years ago. Such a jealous woman.

sunflwr1662 , Дарья Шелкович Report

James G. Currie
Community Member
2 months ago

Stupid witch... Red headed babies are adorable! Red heads in general are hot!

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Breaking up with a best friend can be incredibly difficult, if you are used to being in almost constant contact, if you live together, or if it will change the dynamics of your other friendships. But it’s important to remember that a best friend is supposed to be someone you can rely on and always turn to. If you no longer feel that way, maybe it’s time to move on. It can be easy to lose sight of what a good friend really is, but according to Lilianna Hogan at WebMD, there are certain trademark qualities that make a great friend

Lilianna notes that Aristotle wrote extensively about what makes a good friend and noted the importance of sympathy and mutual caring. There are many ways to exercise those qualities, including making each other feel good and supporting one another. You should always say nice things to your friends and compliment them. Make them feel proud of their accomplishments and support their endeavors. Being around a good friend should leave you feeling warm and fuzzy inside, and it should never make you more insecure or lead you to question parts of yourself.

#5

This one's pretty wholesome, I'd have to say it's when he married his wife.

I moved away for college and he stayed in state, he was still dating the woman who would later become his wife. We stayed in contact and everything, but distance is very hard for both of us, so staying in contact meant like a phone call every 4 months or so.

I still think of him as my brother, and I was the best man at his wedding, and during the course of the wedding and reception, and *especially* the video by drone they took of the proposal I realized he had made a new best friend, and now he was marrying her.

They've been together for a little over a year now :)

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Leslie (they/them)
Community Member
2 months ago

Aww when I clicked on this article I prepared for toxic relationships and friends being just plain rude. I didn’t prepare for something so cute like this. I still wish that y’all could’ve stayed friends, but I’m glad that it didn’t end toxically.

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It is also vital that a good friend accepts and celebrates your differences. It’s great to have some shared interests, but you cannot be the same person. Never try to change a friend, but stay open-minded to trying their hobbies. Regardless of what you think of your differences, there must always be respect. You can encourage your friend in pursuing their separate interests, and they should encourage yours. It's exciting to know that you can teach each other about topics that might be completely new to each of you! 

#6

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When he ghosted me after I told him I had a tumor that ended up being cancerous.

real_zexy_specialist , Annie Spratt Report

Lisa Hart
Community Member
2 months ago

No one could Ever be lower than that!! I am truly sorry... WTAF is wrong with HUMANS!!

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Another important quality of a valuable friend is being a good listener. You should both be interested in what one another has to say and allow them to finish without interrupting. Whether they are sharing exciting news or opening up about struggles in their personal life, your friend should know that they have a shoulder to lean on and that you will listen and remember what they share. On the same note, good friends are trustworthy. You should feel safe in a friendship knowing that what you share is confidential and will not be judged.

When conflicts inevitably arise over time, you should feel comfortable that respect and boundaries will always be maintained. “Perhaps you will do or say something that will upset your friend. Or maybe they have done something that upset you. Either way, close friends can candidly talk about these things and work through their issues,” Lilianna writes.

#7

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When she told me she doesn't like other girls except me cos she likes to be the prettiest girl in the room.

Girl-From-Mars , ArtHouse Studio Report

Leslie (they/them)
Community Member
2 months ago

Geez, I had something happen just like that to me. It hurts. Especially because of my body dismorphia. 🫤

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#8

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When they would talk and talk and talk about themselves but never ask about me

CheekyLibrarian , Athena Report

WatermelonTheDutchie
Community Member
2 months ago

i had a friend like that. key word being had

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#9

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend "Best friend" of 7 years "fell in love" with my fiance. When I told him I didnt want to be friends anymore and kicked him out of my life, my fiance left me for him. I'll be honest, i wanted to kill him and almost did.

trips_caused , Keira Burton Report

D Battle II
Community Member
2 months ago

Good riddance to both of them!

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To maintain a healthy friendship, it’s also important to make time for your friend. If you live in the same city, try to regularly have a movie night or meet for coffee at least once a month to catch up. It’s easy to accidentally allow distance to slip in, but seeing a friend frequently strengthens your bond and deepens your understanding of one another. If you don’t live in the same place, the internet is a powerful thing. Keep in touch via phone or video calls often, and send each other messages when you get the chance. Even a recipe that you know they would enjoy, a cute photo of a dog that made you think of them, or a text reminding them of one of your favorite memories together can be great ways to show that even if you don’t talk every day, they still mean a lot to you. 

#10

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend I found out she was uploading my art to a "bad art blog". I only found out because she sent me 2 paragraphs telling me I was a horrible friend anonymously on tumblr, then when I went to her crying over it wondering who it was she said it was her and then blocked me. I thought I could still fix things but then I found the bad art blog with my art on it, and found out she was talking s**t about me to her other friends.

I was only 15 and even though its been years since it I'm still f****d up by it in some ways.

If you don't like someone, don't pretend to like them and make fun of them behind their backs. Just let them know you feel like you can't be friends anymore and distance yourself. Yeah that will hurt in the short term but it won't monumentally f**k over someones entire psych as being fake will.

anon , Adrian Swancar Report

Leslie (they/them)
Community Member
2 months ago

That must have sucked! I’m so sorry that happened. Honestly no art is bad. It’s all about opinions. I get improving on your own art, but you don’t get to rub your opinion in someone’s face and make them feel bad. I’m not saying you can have your opinions on art though!

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#11

When she called me a ‘s**t’ ‘whore’ etc when her adult brother molested me. We were 12.

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Rylosalex
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm so sorry that happened to you, I hope you told the police and he spends a long time in jail. I REALLY dislike victim blaming. Those who victim blame NEED their teeth knocked out.

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#12

When we both tried to get in a frat, i didn't make it and he did which was cool bc we'd still hang out. That is until for the next month him and a few of his new frat pledgees would throw food at me and on at least 4 occasions id be blindsided on campus with them tipping me over, im in a wheelchair. They wore masks so i had no proof to anyone but he was pretty big and i recognized his shoes.
he'd then try to still hang around me and act like he never did anything. I didn't really figure it out til about the 3rd time when they tipped me over and thats when i saw his shoes, confirming it.

About a year later he randomly texted me saying how sorry he was for what he did and hoped we could be friends again but by that time i could care less. Turns out he had gotten kicked out of the frat for drug use and now he couch surfs.

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Hannah Edwards
Community Member
2 months ago

Tipping people in wheelchairs over is possibly the grossest thing I’ve ever heard. What sort of people do that ? Assholes

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Aside from the obvious benefits of having someone to confide in and a go-to person to hang out with on Saturday night, healthy friendships can even benefit us psychologically. According to WebMD, some of the best things friendships can do for us are: increase our sense of belonging and purpose, boost our happiness and reduce our stress, improve our self-confidence and self-worth, help us cope with various traumas including divorce, illness, job loss or the death of a loved one, encourage us to adopt healthy habits and avoid unhealthy ones such as drinking or being stagnant, help put our problems into perspective to develop a deeper sense of meaning and direction, increase feelings of security, and ease the emotional impact of difficulties and provide ideas for how to handle hard times.   

#13

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When she tried to tell me that she understood how I felt about my mum's death the week before, because her parents were getting divorced and she would only be able to see her dad every other weekend.... and then she made it all about how she wasn't sure if she could cope with the depression about to wash over her when he started moving out etc. *I* had to comfort *her*. Not trying to minimise the impact of the divorce on her, I'm sure it hurt a lot, but JFC you can still see your dad, you can talk to him on the phone when you miss him... my mother is *dead*! The two are *not* the same thing.

Oryctolagus_Argentum , Rosie Sun Report

Karen Grant
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm sorry for your loss.

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#14

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend While they were driving everyone decided they wanted to party. No one had money so they suggested they should call Varvatos he always has money. I was sitting in the back seat. I was like uh I’m right here and I’m not in the mood to party tonight.

anon , quokkabottles Report

juice
Community Member
2 months ago

they even forgot you were there, sounds like they just thought of you as a wallet

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#15

My family (me, wife and 3 kids at the time) was in a rough spot, living with a friend a few years ago. I told that friend that if anyone had a problem with my wife, that they had a problem with me.

Word got around. My 'best' friend messaged me on FB asking if what I said was true, instant reply of yes.

Havent heard from him since.

A lot of people had difficulty realizing my wife was disabled. Chronic pain condition called Fibromyalgia, and many friends and family alike thought she was just lazy, didnt want to work and was using me. Most of my family have come around and know this ain't a f*****g joke.

F**k all the rest of them. We've been married 14 years soon, have a great relationship, 4 kids, and despite all the horrific pain and suffering she goes through, we're doing ok for ourselves now.

I don't have much time for friendships these days, so I socialize online for the most part.

Edit: lots of replies being downvoted for no reason...

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Ellie McGrath
Community Member
2 months ago

The sort of people that think calling it FATSOMYALGIA is funny. Those people you can do without

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If you realize that you are just not getting what you need out of a friendship anymore, it might be time to think about ending it. Some of the reasons you might want to rethink a friendship are changes in circumstances making the friendship too difficult, growing apart over time, dishonesty, negativity, only being friends out of obligation, rivalry, toxicity, or a difference in values. Arlin Cuncic at Verywell Mind recommends a few methods for stepping away from a friendship including the gradual fade-out, having a talk, taking a break, and ending things immediately. Which course of action is best to take is completely dependent on the nature of the situation, but they can all be done in a healthy way, especially if you benefit from removing yourself.

#16

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend Best friends for a couple of years. We were in different classes, I wrote her a message that I be on my way to her. When I arrived she forgot to alt tab the chat window with someone else making fun of me at the worst possible way.
At that time she was my only friend. Was tough to have no friends after that for loooong time - this might not sound like a lot but I think that scared me and I'm still struggling making friends

Edit: holy s**t! That wave of responses is just crazy. Thanks for everyone who's reaching out to me. Also, thanks for the silver kind stranger!

1KeyUp , Zhivko Minkov Report

WordWeaver
Community Member
2 months ago

Hope you find more genuine friends than her.

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#17

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend when we went out to eat and i offered her to pay (as usual..) because she told me that she forgot her purse - she ordered loads of food and ate only half of it. After leaving her shoelace was loose and she bent over to tie her shoe and a 100$ bill was sticking out of her back pocket. She did this for four years and i never realised. Gave her another chance without sayin a word - three days later i found out she was constantly using my instagram to text my ex boyfriend to end my current realationship. I think she never got slapped so hard.

mil035 , Nguyen Dang Hoang Nhu Report

WordWeaver
Community Member
2 months ago

She was a user. You're well shot of her.

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#18

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend My friend completely ghosted me after I had my daughter. She never called or texted me. She got angry if I invited her over. Later she told me she was upset with me because I wasn’t paying enough attention to her.

Good riddance.

Compulsive-Gremlin , Bethany Beck Report

WordWeaver
Community Member
2 months ago

Jealous of a baby?

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Arlin recommends that a gradual fade-out might be helpful for people who are afraid of confrontation. It is usually done to avoid any feelings from being hurt, but it can take a long time, especially if your friend is not getting the hint. It allows you to avoid having to explain yourself, but there is always a chance your friend will confront you about it. In any case, they might assume there is a problem with you, rather than thinking they have done anything wrong, so it probably will still accomplish the goal of ending the friendship. 

On the other hand, having a talk may sometimes be healthier. If you feel that the friendship might be salvageable or you think your friend will actually listen to what you have to say without becoming defensive, it might be worth having a conversation. This can be done in person or via text, but it is important to talk about how you are feeling, not what the other person has done wrong. Focus on “I” statements, so they don't feel like they are being attacked for their actions.

#19

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When my "best friend" had marriage troubles, I was there for him. All through his wife's infidelity, the divorce, and the custody battle. I testified on his behalf in court and he got custody of the kids.

Fast forward 2 years later, when I find out my wife is cheating on me. He's not really interested in talking to me about it so much, and even acts like he's not home when I stop by for a visit. And no, he wasn't the one my wife was cheating with.

He's a good dad and a fun guy to hang around with, but he's just not emotionally available to help other people out much.

principalman , Kylo Report

Ellie McGrath
Community Member
2 months ago

Maybe it was uncomfortable for him. Not an excuse but he had been through the same

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#20

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When I found out she was sleeping with my boyfriend. F*****g b***h.

onemorenightofjazz , RODNAE Productions Report

Autumn
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

A b*tch indeed

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#21

When I visited my friend of 25 years (bestman, etc.) He got violently drunk and attempted to strangle me in front his screaming family while I begged for life and that my daughters would not be orphans. Because I didnt want to be grabbed. This happened 14 hours ago. Fun times

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Ellie McGrath
Community Member
2 months ago

Assault charges

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Suggesting a break can also give you some valuable time to reflect and reevaluate a friendship without making any decisions that you can’t come back from. This can allow you time to calm down if you are emotional and upset or to strategize what your next step will be in the friendship and how to proceed. If you have been spending too much time together, a break can also let you get some perspective. It can be unhealthy to be caught in a bubble for too long. You can suggest a number of reasons for taking a break as well, from being busy for a few weeks to needing to take care of your mental health. Hopefully, the friend will respect your boundaries, and when you are ready to reach out again, you can.

#22

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend Not my best, but one I was growing closer to.

She left me a voicemail but didn't hang up properly. It was like:

"Hey, WaffleHouseNeedsWifi. I'm with Melissa and we're seein' what you're up to. Call us when you get off work. Bye!" Rustling sounds. "She's probably not even at work. She does this lame-ass s**t where she disappears for days on end. I don't even know why I called her. She's so f**kin' annoying and it'd be better to spend the day with just you."

Okay. Then do.

I listened to it three times just to make bloody certain I heard her 100% right. (It was crystal clear.) When she asked me days later what was up with me, I told her about the voicemail. She proceeded to deny it outright ("I never said anything like that!"), then jump down my throat claiming she was talking about someone else. (What? That didn't even make sense.) Whatever. And people wonder why I disappear.

WaffleHouseNeedsWiFi , Hitesh Choudhary Report

Ellie McGrath
Community Member
2 months ago

I love it when they do that or are dumb enough to put it in writing to someone who dons them in. Denials followed by tantrums

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#23

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When I invited her to hang out with me at the nearby lake for my birthday, she said she would get back to me. She never did, instead she posted on her Snapchat story about how much fun she was having with her other friends. I stopped talking to her after that.

sleepy_gemini , Kimson Doan Report

Joy Hunter
Community Member
2 months ago

Sometimes I think the real purpose of social media is to disclose all the people in our lives that we are wasting our time on.

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#24

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When I realized she only wanted to receive support and kindness but never give it. She had a rough home life growing up and I always supported her through everything, I would drop what I was doing when she’d call me in tears to help her.

Then I had my own rough patch that left me in a depressive rut. She was always too busy with her hobbies (not even actual work/school) to even talk to me when I went seeking support. Would get angry when I sent simple “Are you free this weekend?” texts because it was too “needy”.

This is also when I learned who my real best friend was because she saw what was happening, told off this so called “friend”, and gave me all the support I needed.

Edit: Omg this got way more attention than I thought it would. I’m so sorry to see this is such a common ordeal that people have gone through/are going through. I wish everyone the best. We all deserve the support to get us through tough times.

SortaDead , Andrea Tummons Report

WatermelonTheDutchie
Community Member
2 months ago

people support people like that?

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In some cases, especially when dealing with a toxic friend, it is best to end the relationship cold turkey. If someone has hurt you in a way that is irredeemable, you have the power to enforce strict boundaries. Whether it requires blocking their phone number and social media accounts or simply refusing to respond to their calls, only you know when it is healthiest to end a friendship immediately. Try not to become hostile or aggressive as you implement boundaries, but don’t feel guilty about stepping away. A friendship should always make you feel better, and if it is causing you harm or making you feel unsafe, you are better off without the person. 

#25

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend When she got s-faced drunk at my son's (her Godson's) wedding, trashed a hotel room, called me horrible names and punched me closed-fist in the face. She ended up passed out on the grounds of the hotel, came to and was arrested for trespassing because she refused to leave the premises. Days later (via email) blaming me because she didn't realize she was harboring so much "animosity" towards me.

Buh-bye.

SassyMillie , Maurício Mascaro Report

Deborah
Community Member
2 months ago

Alcoholics Anonymous

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#26

When she told me she didn’t want to hang out because my toddler took up too much of my time and I was boring. Then she got knocked up and came to me crying about how hard everything is gonna be now that she’s single and pregnant.

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James G. Currie
Community Member
2 months ago

"Excuse me, who are you, and why are you talking to me?"

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#27

Summary of a one hour phone call.

Me, sobbing : "I have seen my doctor. She diagnosed a burn-out. I need to rest and relax for at least the next few months. I'm sorry, I can't work on our project anymore. It's too much for me".

Her answer : "How dare you? I thought you weren't that weak. We're all tired. You should man up. You're selfish for abandonning us like that. If you quit now, don't even bother contacting me again".

I don't know about you guys, but if my best friend call me sobbing about her health, my first reaction wouldn't be that one.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
2 months ago

I agree, this is not the reaction of someone who gives a damn about you.

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We know these stories can be hard to read, but we hope that you have never experienced anything similar to them. Everyone deserves to have kind, loving and healthy friendships, and if you are rethinking any of your own, it might be time to take a step back. Keep upvoting the stories that you find most heartbreaking, and then let us know in the comments what a good friend means to you. Feel free to also share with your fellow pandas if you have ever experienced a realization that could be on this list. We hope that any unhealthy friendships are far in your past now.

#28

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend He was best man at my wedding. We had not much contact for a couple of years, but I still considered him my best friend. I heard about his wedding well after the fact, guess we're not best friends anymore

raskal98 , Susie Ho Report

Lisa H
Community Member
2 months ago

I can relate. My "best friend" of over 20 years told me I wasn't invited to her wedding because it was only for close friends and family. Um, ouch.

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#29

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend Best friend of 15 years. It all unraveled the night he told my cousin to kill herself, tried to start a fight with multiple people at my house, and flipped off my mom.

Edit: Yes, he was drunk at the time. No, I'm not reaching out to him. Disrespect to my family is an irredeemable offense in my eyes. He's out of my life completely now.

DeltaSolana , Tobias Tullius Report

Randolph Croft
Community Member
2 months ago

A mean, vicious drunk person is a mean, vicious sober person who can hide it.

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#30

When after my mom passed I made the conscious choice to only be “happy” around her because she let me know on several occasions she didn’t like dealing with other people’s feelings and I didn’t want to burden her — and then a few months later she told me she couldn’t be my friend any longer with no explanation while we were living together and she knew I wasn’t able to move out for a few months longer. She instantly stopped speaking to me unless it was a rude comment and wouldn’t eat anything I cooked (cooking was therapeutic for me and I loved doing it for her and her family).

Still have no explanation on the why she no longer wanted to be friends after 10 years. But... I am marrying her brother in the fall and he’s the most amazing thing to have ever happened to me. So there’s that!

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Cathleen Cummings
Community Member
2 months ago

Sorry you had to deal with that-- that kind of thing really hurts, but just remember that its not you, its her.

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#31

When I opened up to her about my postpartum depression and she told me that she didn’t have time for depression and it was weak.

I was never vulnerable with her but I was dying inside I needed someone and she had told me she didn’t care.

I began shutting her out then.

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WordWeaver
Community Member
2 months ago

Was never the friend you thought she was. Harsh lesson. I hope things are better for you now.

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#32

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend Our conversations were getting shorter and less intriguing. One day, I received great news and wanted to share it to my best friend. I then realized that they deleted and blocked me on facebook.

Cheesycheese01 , Joshua Rawson-Harris Report

FreshGanesh
Community Member
2 months ago

It sucks I’m gonna get downvoted (something explicitly meant to correct inappropriate behavior, not distaste or disagreement with an opinion) because what the first commenter stated. I’m in agreement that toxic social media isn’t always two-way when it comes to the value placed on it. Maybe friend decided to get rid of Fb or just lock it down to being no more than a placeholder. Either way, my true friends, at least close ones, are people I communicate with outside of Meta/Twitter. It would make sense they lost contact because of a difference in defining “contact” and “communication.” Maybe when noticing they blocked you on Facebook, shoot your BEST friend a text or make a call??? The presumption and lack of context in this post isn’t a good reason that “A Bringhurst” got his BP account suspended. Please be more judicious with downvotes. ✌🏼❤️

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#33

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend Not my best friend but an ex friend of mine:

"Your best friend doesn't have depression, she just has those awful thoughts because she watches horror movies"

-cucumberbitch- , Inside Weather Report

Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
2 months ago

Yes, we all know the dreaded “I’m depressed because I just know any minute now this place will be crawling with zombies/axe murderers/hellish lionfish with fourteen legs and the sexual proclivities of the average duck - why carry on living anymore?” phenomenon.

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#34

After years of giving me a hard time for eloping, making me promise after my 1st divorce that if I marry again she MUST be invited.... I invited her. She got her mom to babysit her kids, and then went to her ex boyfriends house to f**k all weekend, totally blowing off my wedding.

My wedding was extremely small. Besides my daughter, she was my only invited guest.

She showed me right there exactly how important I was to her.

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Lady Goldberry
Community Member
2 months ago

This smells of revenge to me...

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#35

When he didn't invite me to his birthday party. I went over to drop off a present, thinking he wasn't having a party (hadn't mentioned anything at school) and found him with his better friends.

Edit: Holy s**t this blew up. Doubled my karma. Also don't be too mean please; it was 4th grade and he's not a terrible person.

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Hannah Edwards
Community Member
2 months ago

Sounds pretty terrible

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#36

I had a group that I considered my best friends in middle and high school. I'd been incredibly troubled and depressed, but we all got along and were competitive in academics. They were the people I loved to spend time with. I transferred to a new high school but still saw them all the time.

One day we went to dinner, and plans were to go spend the night at my place after. At dinner, I casually came out.

Suddenly, no one was able to make it to my place for the night.

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Whitefox
Community Member
2 months ago

Damn.. I'm so sorry! In High School I had a sleepover birthday party and invited a few of my friends. One of them had to meet with me about something first. They were very distressed and seemed stuck on something. It dawned on me that she was trying to come out to me and I asked her about it. She said, yes that it was important I know before the sleep over. I Laughed so hard I had tears.. I put my hand on her shoulder and told her I'd known since pretty much the fist time we'd met and that I didn't care. She was a great person! I was sorry to have lost touch with her after I graduated. She was a year below me and my life imploded in college. I did reconnect many years later. We stay in touch, but not like in High School.

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#37

When they said that I’m not funny and never have been. They said they only laughed at my jokes out of pity. They then said that no girl would ever like me and that I’m annoying. The thing about girls didn’t hurt that bad but for some reason by them saying I wasn’t funny really hurt. This was after 3 years of being best friends

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Leslie (they/them)
Community Member
2 months ago

As someone who really cares about how funny I am, because I’m not very attractive and try to make friends instead, this really hurts. I usually curate my sense of humor to match what people I’m talking to, and it takes work. Ugh just reading this makes me feel sad. 😓

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#38

When he showed up to a party with his new girlfriend, who was my ex that I had broken up with less than two weeks prior. He knew that I was really hurt about the break up, as it was a situation where I was really in love with her, but I broke up with her because I kept catching her lying to me and I was about 99% certain she was cheating on me also. When they showed up, I was so pissed off at them that I didn't know what to do, so I excused myself and left the party. The next day, I confronted him about the situation over the phone, and he told me I was the one being the a*****e because he thought I was going to be a "cool bro" and I would be excited for him since he was getting his d**k wet. He then told me that if they didn't work out, we could just go back to being best friends again, as if it worked that way. They ended up breaking up a few weeks later when she started pulling the same s**t on him that she had pulled with me.

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Rylosalex
Community Member
2 months ago

Ha! Serves you former friend right.

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#39

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend I have lived within 2 hours of him for the last 6 years and he has never come to visit me, always me visiting him. Last straw had a huge July 4th bbq and invited him and he declined so he could go to a lake with strangers. F**k you Rick!

lizard_king0000 , Toa Heftiba Report

begging for ham
Community Member
2 months ago

yeah f**k you Rick

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#40

"She Told Me My Husband And I Would Make Hideous Babies”: 40 People Share The Moment They Realized Their ‘Best Friend’ Was Not A Good Friend We graduated from high school and she went to college halfway across the world. When she came back to visit, when I tried to hang out with her she was always too busy. I later saw tons of pictures posted on Facebook with her and other girls having fun together. So that’s what she was so busy with.

Then at one point she told me that those girls had actually invited me to everything but she convinced them I wouldn’t be able to go. I would have been able to go. I left her alone after that

Edit: I see a lot of speculation in the comments so I’ll try to clear things up - these girls were all people I’d been going to school with since kindergarten or so. We all knew each other. I was on good terms with the other girls. The girl I’d been best friends with since first grade so I felt loyal to her even though as we got older she got meaner. I’ve learned better since then.

I have no idea why she said that but when she said it, it was with no malice or shame or anything. Like she was just offfhandedly stating a fact. I honestly can’t figure out why. Maybe she really did think I was busy and it just came out really, really wrong. But it seems deliberate when you do that consistently for 2-3 weeks while everyone was back home.

ndhlpplse , Jametlene Reskp Report

WordWeaver
Community Member
2 months ago

She treated you like a napkin rather than as a friend. Move on and find genuine people.

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