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Mom Lists Reasons She Won’t Put Her Daughter In Daycare
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Mom Lists Reasons She Won’t Put Her Daughter In Daycare

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A mom has just gone viral on TikTok after she revealed she used to work in a daycare where hugging children was considered abuse. The woman went on to explain that it’s actually one of the reasons why she won’t work and look after her daughter at home instead.

Other motives included subpar food menus and overall strict guidelines that prevent kids from being, well, kids.

The woman added that she could go on about these things but chose not to. However, as her clip gained more and more views, people in the comments took it upon themselves to expand on this important topic.

When the woman saw that the discussion wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, she released a follow-up video.

More info: TikTok

Image credits: olddavenportfam

Image credits: olddavenportfam

Last month, the U.S. Department of Treasury sent a pretty similar message. It determined that the nation’s childcare system is “unworkable,” saying it is plagued by market failures that put quality care out of reach for many families.

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In one of its reports, Treasury details the struggle many parents face to afford childcare, especially as bills pile up before their peak earning years. Additionally, Treasury found that many industry workers are paid low wages, suffer high turnover, and face discrimination.

Treasury is making the case for federal government support for paid family leave, universal preschool, and significant tax credits for parents and dependent care as Democrats in Congress work to write a social-spending bill that could total $3.5 trillion.

“Having a well-functioning childcare sector is good for working families. It’s good for children. I would also emphasize it’s good for the rest of us,” Catherine Wolfram, Treasury’s acting assistant secretary for economic policy, said. “It’s critical to a well-functioning economy.”

The video has been viewed over a million times

@olddavenportfamI could go on about things.. there’s a lot.. #crunchymom #childcareworker #sahm #workingmom #childcare #experience♬ The Magic Bomb (Questions I Get Asked) [Extended Mix] – Hoàng Read

Talya Stone, a former editor-in-chief and the woman behind the blogs Motherhood: The Real Deal and 40 Now What, told Bored Panda that she has questioned the things that went on in her daughter’s daycare as well but “the simple fact of the matter is, parents rely on daycare in order to be able to continue their careers and manage the juggle between raising a family and earning a living.”

“Even though we may feel the conditions are far from ideal or up to our standards, quite frankly for most parents at least, not sending their children is just not an option,” she said. “I still feel the advantages of daycare still far outweigh the negatives, and also it’s important to note the positive implications on a child’s development and happiness also, not to mention the fact they provide support for families to sustain the responsibilities of raising a family where often the traditional support structure of extended families of once upon a time has all but vanished for many.”

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With that being said, finding the right fit for your child can be quite challenging. “Not all daycare [centers] are the same. It’s important to do your research, spend time there, meet all the staff, get a sense of the atmosphere and management, the facilities, activities, and food provided, ask lots of questions, and most importantly trust your gut,” Talya Stone said. “If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Do the children seem happy there? What sort of feedback do other parents have? It’s important to remember that every child is different as is every daycare and it’s down to you as the parent to try and create the best match between the two as possible.”

And the mom eventually released a follow-up

Image credits: olddavenportfam

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Image credits: olddavenportfam

No wonder these TikToks have resonated with the public so much. Earlier this year, a national panel survey of 2,500 working parents, found that nearly 20% of working parents had to either quit or reduce their hours solely due to a lack of childcare.

Only 30% of all working parents had any form of backup childcare, and there were significant disparities between low and high-income households.

The survey revealed that 26% of women who became unemployed during the pandemic said it was due to a lack of childcare.

Vice President Kamala Harris addressed the dire problem for women in The Washington Post, claiming that the economy cannot fully recover unless women fully participate. She said that “without affordable and accessible child care, working mothers are forced to make an unfair choice.”

Talya Stone also thinks that the government has to do more and support women if they want to keep them in work. “There needs to be better access to affordable, high quality and, ideally, subsidized childcare,” the UK mom told us. “The bottom line is the future of the economy hinges on childcare, and unless parents can be supported adequately in this area, the economy will not be able to feel the full benefit of more mothers in the workforce. The U.S. is woefully behind compared to other advanced countries, and it’s high time they caught up as one of the most advanced nations in the world.”

@olddavenportfamReply to @silversirentreasures just my personal preference from the 4 centers I’ve been at #childcareworker #childcarecenter #sahm #educated♬ The Magic Bomb (Questions I Get Asked) [Extended Mix] – Hoàng Read

The TikToker continued to share her thoughts in the comment sections under her videos

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And the discussion quickly spread to other platforms as well

Parents and industry workers have been expressing similar concerns for quite some time now

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bloodywilliamsgirlfriend avatar
Nunya Bus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think a bigger question is the privilege, luck, good fortune whatever you want to call it that you can stay at home with your child. Most people don't live a life where only one income can provide for a family. I mean in some areas, two incomes don't even cut without subsidization of some sort. I understand where this woman is coming from but all it does is foster a level of shame and guilt on parents who can't afford to make that choice or the choice they can afford isn't a prime caring facility. It would be like people who say "I will never send my parents to a nursing home, that is why I have private around the clock care for them in house." Well bully for you that you and your parents can afford that. Some people can't afford around the clock care and they physically, emotionally, and financially can't stay home 24/7 to provide that care themselves. It's a lot more nuanced than just saying daycare is bad don't do it.

sassyandclassy avatar
classbag
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes to all of this. It also just sounds like this woman worked at a really crappy facility. Yes, these places absolutely exist, but such places do not describe all daycares. My daughter's daycare is excellent. The problem in the US is that daycare in general is expensive and people don't receive enough parental leave. But this woman painting all daycares like they're the shitty one she worked at is just fear mongering and creating unnecessary anxiety among parents who don't have many other options.

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anneeerden avatar
Anne Kanters-Eerden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm from the Netherlands and work in daycare. TBH I'm shocked by this info. Here we need a special education and a background check to be able to work in daycare. And we play and cuddle with all the kids, so strange that it's not allowed in the US.

carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. Very strict in the Netherlands. Special education is very high quality too.

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bastock23 avatar
Andy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its almost like they are not your private babysitter 🙄 Some of the points about background checks and staffing levels are really important, and right to be concerned with. But then adding in that they won't tailer when children have naps, when they play, what they eat etc to the desires of each individual parent just makes her sound entitled and dilutes serious points.

bp_10 avatar
WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the Netherlands they are your private babysitter. The educated and highly trained and skilled staff of daycares do their best to be the best substitute for the parents. Including hugging the kids and playing with them. Daycares also don't cost you 20% to 25% of your income over here.

Load More Replies...
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bloodywilliamsgirlfriend avatar
Nunya Bus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think a bigger question is the privilege, luck, good fortune whatever you want to call it that you can stay at home with your child. Most people don't live a life where only one income can provide for a family. I mean in some areas, two incomes don't even cut without subsidization of some sort. I understand where this woman is coming from but all it does is foster a level of shame and guilt on parents who can't afford to make that choice or the choice they can afford isn't a prime caring facility. It would be like people who say "I will never send my parents to a nursing home, that is why I have private around the clock care for them in house." Well bully for you that you and your parents can afford that. Some people can't afford around the clock care and they physically, emotionally, and financially can't stay home 24/7 to provide that care themselves. It's a lot more nuanced than just saying daycare is bad don't do it.

sassyandclassy avatar
classbag
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes to all of this. It also just sounds like this woman worked at a really crappy facility. Yes, these places absolutely exist, but such places do not describe all daycares. My daughter's daycare is excellent. The problem in the US is that daycare in general is expensive and people don't receive enough parental leave. But this woman painting all daycares like they're the shitty one she worked at is just fear mongering and creating unnecessary anxiety among parents who don't have many other options.

Load More Replies...
anneeerden avatar
Anne Kanters-Eerden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm from the Netherlands and work in daycare. TBH I'm shocked by this info. Here we need a special education and a background check to be able to work in daycare. And we play and cuddle with all the kids, so strange that it's not allowed in the US.

carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. Very strict in the Netherlands. Special education is very high quality too.

Load More Replies...
bastock23 avatar
Andy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its almost like they are not your private babysitter 🙄 Some of the points about background checks and staffing levels are really important, and right to be concerned with. But then adding in that they won't tailer when children have naps, when they play, what they eat etc to the desires of each individual parent just makes her sound entitled and dilutes serious points.

bp_10 avatar
WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the Netherlands they are your private babysitter. The educated and highly trained and skilled staff of daycares do their best to be the best substitute for the parents. Including hugging the kids and playing with them. Daycares also don't cost you 20% to 25% of your income over here.

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