Man Welcomes In-Laws To His House, Puts Parental Controls On His TV To Allow His Kids To Sleep As They Refuse To Keep The Volume Down
It’s hard to pinpoint the exact point in our very fragile existence when we stop being a kid and become a full-fledged adult. But it’s not that hard to do that for the opposite progression—when you get so old, you start acting like a child.
And while you might think that dealing with an adult child is much harder than it is with an actual child, believe it or not, it’s not that different. Heck, you can use the same tactics and get results.
Take it from this dad who, as soon as his father-in-law started acting like a child, turned on his dad mode and dealt with it as if he was a child—with parental controls.
More Info: Reddit
You’d think kids grow up to be adults and stay that way, but some adults turn back into kids as soon as they become grandparents
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
The story goes that OP—a husband and a father to two kids—had in-laws staying with him temporarily while their house undergoes some serious overhaul work. Now, he doesn’t get along too well with his in-laws, more so the case with his father-in-law, but he figured two months would fly by without him having to lose his cool. Alas, he was wrong.
Considering that his mother-in-law is jobless, and the father-in-law often finishes work at around 11PM, the two often end up watching YouTube into the late hours of the night. Sounds tame, right? No. They watch it (as well as listen to music) using the entire speaker system. And while it’s not an insane setup, it packs enough of a punch to be bothersome to those who value sleep, i.e. the kids and OP.
But it happens, and this one dad decided he’s gonna use parenting tactics, i.e. TV parental controls, to deal with his father-in-law’s tantrums
Image credits: u/ExplanationFun2337
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
So, what ends up happening is the kids get woken up by the sound of boomer music blasting, which in turn prompts them to wake dad up so he’ll go and deal with the situation. After all, the kids need their rest, and the dad needs his because they have commitments in the mornings. The wife doesn’t seem to understand this as she’s at work, hauling graveyard shifts.
You’d think talking would help, but neither in-law was having any of it. And OP wasn’t asking for complete silence—the volume had to be low enough to ensure peace at home. But the father-in-law switched it up immediately, blaming OP for prohibiting him from enjoying himself after work, but OP drew a clear line there, so tough luck.
The issue here is everyone’s working on different schedules, and so everyone’s daily life begins at different times—FIL’s does near midnight
Image credits: u/ExplanationFun2337
And, as if father-in-law’s actions weren’t childish enough with the backtalk and taunts by sending links to buy earplugs, he managed to also tattle on him to the wife. And she sided with her dad! So, now you have both the in-laws and the wife on one end and the dad and kids on the other.
So, OP figured he wasn’t going to tolerate the in-laws’ tomfoolery and shenanigans and so he did the thing all kids couldn’t counter, and that is he put a parental control password on the television. So, now the ma and pa were restricted to enjoying the television between 6AM and 8:30PM. This doesn’t affect the Mrs as she’s working during these hours.
And midnight is not a good time to be blasting soaps and music, which not only the dad, but also his kids had trouble living with
Image credits: u/ExplanationFun2337
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual image)
As you might have expected, the father-in-law is anything but amused. Ironically, in response to this, FIL told OP that he’s acting like a child, all the while pestering him with demands to tell him the password. The wife’s also upset.
But the solution lied in simply setting the TV to only be available during certain times throughout the day, and other times—password protected
Image credits: u/ExplanationFun2337
All of this made OP turn to the r/AITA community for some perspective on the matter. And he got loads of it. At the very least, 24,500 upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards worth of perspective.
After a family feud, the author of the post turned to the internet for some perspective
Across the board, folks were pointing out how the in-laws, being guests in someone else’s home, had the audacity to go along with their usual daily (nightly?) routines without considering others, and even being asked to knock it off, but fighting it.
Others suggested every time father-in-law sends links to earplugs, OP would send them links to headphones and hotel rooms. If anything, OP did right by his kids as a primary caretaker. And there was also one commenter who asked the real question: because their house was destroyed, insurance policies cover temporary housing—why didn’t they take the opportunity?
You can check out the post and full discussion on Reddit here. But don’t go just yet—not only because I said so, but also because you still haven’t shared your thoughts and stories in the comment section below!
I truly believe some people don’t register their level of nonsense until it’s done to them, so next step… when the kids go to school and the OP goes to work in the morning… the TV goes and sound system go on at that volume… and it’s left on with the password in place. Yes… things can be unplugged, but after a few days of waking up to do that… and your point has been made. Empathy is a great motivator! And it sounds like all the other adults in the house are lacking empathy.
Too bad OP has to treat people who should know better as if they were naughty children. If the wife works the graveyard shift, she has to sleep during the day. That would be a good time to let the in-laws crank up the volume, so it can dawn on her just how bad the late night problem is. I wonder if they were this loud when their kids were growing up., or just don’t want to own up to hearing loss. Also yes, insurance should pay for alternative accommodations, so either the IL were not insured, or they’re pocketing the housing allowance money. If it was my parents or IL, and they acted like this—-as if it’s their house, and they get to call all the shots like when their kids were little—-there would be an ultimatum: learn how to be polite guests in someone else’s home, or find a long term stay hotel room with a kitchenette.
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Their homeowners insurance absolutely would have given them a stipend for a hotel while their home is being repaired. They chose to pocket the money and instead inconvenience their family. OP should tell them that it is better for everyone if they use that money to pay for a hotel.
It's possible they don't know they're entitled to a hotel. A tree fell on our house many years ago, leaving a massive hole in the roof in the middle of winter. The insurance agent never told us we had that in our policy even though he knew we were sleeping in a house that we couldn't get above 55 degrees farenheit. We only found out about it a week later when going through the policy to see what was covered for replacement. Even then we had to provide receipts for the hotel; we weren't just given an arbitrary amount of money.
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iLs get a hotel and spend the money they were given for it. They need to stop encroaching on other people. Could give two shits what the FIL used to do after work s**t changes. Wife needs to cut the cord and grow the f**k up. Just because it's her parents doesn't mean they can run over anyone. Lesson should be learned that no one stays at the house idaf who it they are find something else
You have expressed this exactly how I felt when reading this story!
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That's insane. My mom would do anything for her grandkids. She's hard of hearing so she watches TV with the volume way up. But when the grandkids visit she puts the closed captions on instead so she doesn't disturb them. I can't imagine being a guest in someone's home and behaving like that!
I was thinking the same thing, what kind of grandparents would be so uncaring toward their own grandchildren?
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„My FIL send me links to earplugs for the kids“ ok… here FIL, some links for headphones for you
NTA, but i think your wife is too used to obeying her parents. I suggest you turn up the TV to the volume they listen to it when she is trying to sleep after her night shift. Also, appeal to their vanity, suggest they must be losing their hearing if they need it that loud, do they want you to schedule hearing tests for them?
That's kinda what I was thinking. It's crappy that the wife isn't just trusting and believing her own spouse AND children to begin with, but it should be a quick settle for her if he demonstrates exactly what they're playing and at what volume level it is when they're home together so she can experience it exactly herself. I wouldn't be retaliatory and do it while she's sleeping tho, as that seems like another fight waiting to happen. Also, aside from the tv solution, I'm sure they have computers or phones they can watch YouTube together with using headphones and one of the apps or extensions that are similar to Netflix Party so everything is still synced. It's a small ask / decent compromise to be able to continue your same lifestyle in someone else's house. I don't care who you are, I couldn't fathom acting like this. I go above and beyond to be as helpful and as out of the way as possible whenever I stay in someone else's space.
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Dude, seriously.... NTA. your house, your rules. Be the AH and before you kick them out blast the music through the house when he is sleeping, preferably putting speakers next to his bed and letting it rip. Then tell him to get the hell out. Your kids take priority over everyone else. Way to be an amazing D.A.D. (defending against dueshbags). Good luck
sounds like FIL is used to getting HIS own way. MIL may not have much say in that. DEF send a link for a couple of different types of headphones to him. Also as someone else said, put on closed caption function. You can also on most smart T V's set the volume and lock it in. GOOD LUCK
Closed captions not so great for enjoying music. Sounds like the in-laws are hard of hearing, but don't want to admit it.
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It's simple. Your in-laws are a******s. Send them to a hotel and they can be as loud as they want.
It would be great if they went to hotel and other guests complained about the volume.
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For all the earplug links send back hotel links. Their insurance should cover temporary housing/hotel til job is completed. And it's your and your wife's home. You could set up a nanny cam an let her into the feed to see the issues and talk to her parents about their behavior. Since she works nights and doesn't see the issue maybe have her sneak a day off to hide and be there when the fil gets back to start the ruckus. As guests go they really seem a bit rude.
To be honest the moment the wife sided with her parents I would've packed as many clothes as she needs and sent her to a hotel with her parents. If she's willing to let her kids get woken up at 11:30 AT NIGHT then she'll be willing to spend some time away from them. It surprises me people haven't pointed that if their kids keep getting woken up they'll be too tired for school and then the school will ask the kids if everything's ok at home and when the kids (who are 6 and 8 and have no FILTER or UNDERSTANDING of what exactly is happening) say "grandma and grandpa are up late and are loud at night and we cant sleep" then the school will either call the parents or if it keeps happening (which it probably will) will call CPS, and that's when OP has to really make a decision (and so does the wife)
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If they stay with relatives, they can pocket the insurance money or they were under insured. Anyway, my otherwise lovely dad is a tv blaster. His hearing is apparently fine but I think his problem is related to pitch and the frequency so he has trouble making out the words. Plus he likes it loud. He also thinks headphones look stupid but I pointed out “Who is going to look at you?” He wears his headphones and everyone is happy. Give them the password if they wear headphones. Otherwise, this is the deal.
One thing my parents always said was, "My house, my rules." As a homeowner, they were correct. When I go to my kid's houses, it's their house, their rules. It's a damn good system.
Good job for being a good parent and a reasonable person and respecting your children.
Load More Replies... NTA. Wife must be brainwashed by the people who raised her to be okay with inconsiderate behavior. Maybe after she gets home from working night shift allow her to share in being kept awake by a loud TV. Experience is a great teacher. The inlaws are hopeless.
It sounds like the FIL is toxic and controlling and the wife is used to giving in.
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They obviously are up nights and sleep days while you and the kids are at work/school, so their sleep is peaceful. I might have to come home from lunch one day while they sleep and blare some music, wifey deserves that as well.
I couldn't even finish this. The second i read my wife sided with her father, I was done. I've yet to read a situation where the OP and their partner actually agree on something?
So just because the in-laws are old, they think they have earned the right to do what they want, when they want and they don't have to take anyone else's feelings into consideration? That seems to be the mentality with them. I get that their routine is severely disrupted by not being able to stay in their own home (I, like many others, don't like it when my routine is disrupted, either) so they're trying to adapt until they can return home. I totally get that. But they are treating it like it's their home when it's not. OP has been very accommodating to their unfortunate situation and they just keep taking advantage. Also, it sounds like the wife should maybe get her kids' opinion since their lives are also being affected by this. She can't just blindly take her parents's side just because their her parents. That's a bit cowardly. OP is NTA.
FIL sounds like a child. Yeah, whatever happened to his house sucks. But he's a guest, maybe he needs to give up some creature comforts for the benefit of his grandkids. Is watching TV at night really more important to him than his grandkids getting a good night's sleep?
I have no idea where OP lives, but where I live playing anything that loud is against noise ordinances. I would remind in laws that every day noise ends at 8 depending on the area and they are responsible for any fines. Might be safer to have them stay in a motel
WOW.... this man deserves an award for even letting his inlaws sleep in his house at all, to be quite frank. My guests want for nothing, but not one of them has ever DARED violate my generosity with abuse. I'm not saying I'd throw them out on the spot, but keeping children awake on a schoolnight? ZERO tolerance.
Not to sound sarcastic, but most home insurance policies provide for hotel/motel funds, while the work is being done. It sounds like they are trying to pocket that portion, of the repairs. Also, wearing ear plugs- while sleeping especially children, can get impacted and cause permanent hearing loss.
It stopped being about the TV from the start. It is about control. FIL lost "king of the castle" status and can't handle it. OP is the "king" of this castle and is doing right by his family. There is an amicable solution if both men acknowledge their "status" and come at the solution with man to man respect. Some can call it toxic masculinity, but I'd take an alpha male ANY day. However, this is some beta male BS. The men need to handle this like real men. Sit down, negotiate terms, if nothing comes from it then FIL takes his wife to a hotel. Drama is not the absence of problems. Drama is the route taken to resolve problems.
Maybe disconnect the speaker system? If they dont have surround sound anymore it probably wouldn't get that loud
It is a FACT that most AITA contributors frame their stories to get most responders on their side. This one is pretty simple no matter who is telling the story: " when a guest in anyone's home, you abide by their rules or GET OUT" The wife and husband should be on the same page. The inlaws need to read up then act like guests with manners. TV and music are not necessities. I suspect we are not getting the whole story and there are power plays by everyone here ( the TV might not be up that loud and the 2 males are having other issues..the tv/music fight is their dominance jockeying by proxy) In the end it is the OPs home and that is it. It is only 2 months. Or longer. The insurance company usually pays for hotels. Or go watch TV or play music in the car. They are guests and need to remember guests abide by the hosts" rules or they leave.
Granted, you're probably right, but in this case, the insurance gave the the ILs a hotel stipend, they chose to pocket it and put out their adult child and family and are being terrible, inconsiderate houseguests. There's no reason for them to even be there.
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The IL's are beyond rude and actually could be doing it to cause problems for their SIL in his marriage. It is amazing what people do in this day and age. I believe the wife is and has probably been verbally abused by her parents and that's why she is taking sides against her husband but more than that; her own children. I am a mother and grandmother, and never could I imagine taking a side against one of them as an adult BUT NOT AS A CHILD. If this man wants to save his marriage and family, he needs to send them to a hotel, on their dime, not his.
This is a really straight forward situation that OP handled 100% correctly. If you can't use this thing without waking everybody in the house up, then you can't use it til everyone is awake. I can't understand why there was ever any doubt about this being sensible and appropriate. His wife needs to get her priorities straight and look after the well-being of the people who actually live in that house rather than coddling misbehaving guests. If this continues to be a fight I'd reach out to the kids' pediatrician for a definitive statement on the importance of them getting good sleep and let that settle it for good. Moreover, if the guests cannot behave in a way that is respectful of the fact that those kids (and their parents) live there and they do not, I'd suggest they make other arrangements for the remainder of their home repairs. Most insurance policies have hotel stays included in the event of serious damage to the home.
I think it's time to introduce your PIL to this wonderful thing called ✨hotels✨
My boyfriend and I are in our 50's and raising a 6 yo (midlife baby, I had all those urs thought I was sterile!). My boyfriend is hard of hearing and while he acknowledges it, he absolutely refuses to do anything about it. He still wants to listen to music loud enough to shake the neighboring houses. I think he's incredibly selfish on this matter. I have ptsd (seems like everyone has it) and certain loud noises make me really anxious and I can't concentrate. I've been trying for years to get him to use headphones or earbuds. He has finally, in the last 3 months or so, been trying out earbuds. He complains that they don't get loud enough, because you know....let's destroy the rest of his hearing ....at least he's finally trying though. Forcing others to listen to your stuff, whether it be music or talk radio or a show/movie, is not only selfish, but also so unnecessary in this age of wireless earbuds/headphones. Even my bf should be able to find "studio headphones".
Not his castle, not his crown. As a guest, it's disrespectful to ignore host requests - particularly reasonable noise levels. Don't like it, stay elsewhere. It's incredible how inconsiderate some people can be.
The FIL is sending him links to buy earplugs for the kids?! Send him some for HEADPHONES. You know, my husband puts those on when he watches stuff late at night. It's called common courtesy, especially for kids and even more so in someone else's home!
Nah that's way too nice. Reply with hotel links. It's not his house, he doesn't get to decide
Load More Replies... NTA. These in-laws are essentially guests in your home. Why aren't they considerate of their grandchildren's needs to get adequate sleep? Purely selfish people. I can see someone wanting to relax after work watching TV. Apparently that's all FIL knows how to do. Why does the TV need to be so loud? I would just go out and buy 2 sets of headphones. They can use them to watch TV, OR NOT.
They sound like TAs. There are headsets for TVs. Too bad there's not a way to.limit the volume.
I have an older sony tv which has a master volume control in the settings that you can increase/decrease the volume. Limits how loud the remote can be turned up. Maybe the OP has same on his tv. Would only work if the IL don't know how to change settings.
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The audacity of elders thinking their needs and wants trump others....!! My pet peeve is people loudly playing music/tv, because it's almost like these people don't care headphones exist and are so openly selfish that they don't bother to do the reasonable and polite thing (aka get and use headphones). That they don't suggests it's a powermove a là toddler, so they need to be handled as such.
In laws or not their neuro divergent if you can't conduct as a guest the home master is in their rights to kick you I would be the same two most insurances do cover hotels and rooms and three how the hell is the mother so neuro divergent to neglect her kids to defend her parents
Its always been my impression that when you stayed at someone else's house you went by their rules whether you were relatives or not. Who are these rude people? You have kids who need to go to school! Why don't they care about their own grand kids and you are doing them a huge favour letting them stay with you for 2 months (maybe longer if anything goes wrong) these people should be grateful not acting like teenagers. I would be sitting them down for a respectful chat about the house rules and the fact the kids have to go to school etc and gently remindly them that they are guests as a favor and if they prefer they always have the option of a hotel room where they can blast music as loudly as they like. Until then the child lock will remain in place and they can watch TV on their phones and ipads.
We rent rooms from a used-to-be friend. The "friend" has the TV on almost 24x7. She is also hard of hearing so it is really loud. She can't stand headphones. We use ear plugs. I really want to move but can't afford it.
Headphones for the parents seem to be the obvious solution, but this reminded me of the time my father stayed with us for an extended period while he convalesced. He was a big Fox news fan, which I can't stand to be around for more than a minute or so. He'd insist upon watching Hannity with the volume cranked up while I was making dinner, unable to escape. I ended up using parental controls to remove it from the lineup and peace was restored. (Mine, anyway.) He never did figure it out.
“Mi casa es NOT su casa! You are a guest. When in Rome, do as the Roman do.” This should be the rule in the house.
Everyone is blaming the IL's as they should because of their child-like behavior, however the mix of people with different sleeping schedules is really the cause of the situation, even though the grandparents could of course be more considerate and be quiet. It doesn't help that when two people who room together work different schedules where at any given point someone is sleeping, it can suck. Again, I agree with the op about the grandparents totally being a******s, I just think the mix of scheduling is going to create conflict for working people no matter what, and that it's ok to acknowledge that working at night in general sucks more than working a day shift, even if your a night person, because society isn't set up that way. Your messing up your circadian rhythm, generally have poor health outcomes, and if you room with others everyone has to be quiet all the time. All to accommodate capitalist accumulation for business owners at a faster rate. It's just sad.
NTA. The idea for headphones for the ILs/AHs is awesome! Years ago I allowed a friend to stay long-term and even allowed him his own tv room. I started getting bills for random streamed movies. He denied it was him. And it was literally random like Emperors New Groove and movies we already owned. I decided he was getting buzzed and/or hitting buttons with his meat hook fingers. He refused to pay for the movies and became hostile, denying it was him. Ok, once I can ask the streaming company to forgive, but I'm not going to keep asking. I set a password. He became hostile about this. He started cranking the volume when I tried to sleep. So i said get out. When he wouldn't (and after someone has been at an address for a period, they can refuse) I took the remote and the cord and said eviction proceedings begin in 3 days. Really just a hostile person. And now a former guest and former friend. Never extend this assistance again.
They may have some hearing losss. I see the Bluetooth headphones were mentioned. Even one pair would would as you can hear fine with just one ear. Alternatively, watch on a device with regular headphones. Your FIL making fun of headphones sounds like a MAGA type. Good luck,
absolutely NTA, this guy is just being a good father. Though I think that he should turn the parental controls off for one night only so that he can record how loud it actually is and show it to his wife. Maybe then she'll realize how big of an issue it is and take the side of her husband and kids.
I think he did a great job. You would think the GP would be considerate of their GC. But no they dont want to be inconvenienced. Well guess what you should have went to a hotel because you are inconveniencing your SIL and GC. So no one wins in the end. Daughter is wrong . She knows her kids sleep light. Who's sleeping with earplugs on? Remember you are not home, so your routine has to change!!! Be grateful they let you stay!!
I just wish "journalists" would stop creating "articles" that just break down a reddit post in between 4-5 ads. This is the bottom.
OP had me on his side until he made that stupid crack about "blasting boomer music". What exactly is " boomer music" anyway?
That's the "author" of the "article" saying that, not OP. OP is the guy who posted the story on reddit.
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Send the link back to him and tell him to buy them. Then blare it when they are trying to sleep....though given wife's schedule and FIL....might make wife more angry.....you could always film it to show to her how you've asked nicely and don't know what the next step is and want her input.
When having people over, make sure that boundaries are set. "No noise after such-and-such a time" and "buy your own food an label it, don't eat ours plz" "Clean the toilet after every use" "Don't cough into the air, if you have a lung condition, plz take steps to keep us from getting sick" I live in dorm housing and these boundaries prevent so many fights. A big one is snoring. The best way to deal with snoring is to get noise mufflers for the ears or listen to sleep music loud enough where you can't hear "Mr. Freight Train" nearby. Snoring is often caused by deep health/respitory issues. It's best NOT to ask a person to "stop snoring" because that is like asking a person to stop breathing. Lastly one thing that avoids the most conflict is don't reveal private details. Keep that tp yourself and don't be too chatty either.
When in Rome… As long as you understand that FIL is going to expect you to live his way at their house. Sometimes the power struggle, despite the fact that you feel RIGHT and your kids need their routine, isn’t worth it.
What needs to happen is to call your wife, once they have the TV or music turned up to how they like it, and let her HEAR, just how loud they are actually being! Let her then decide if it's her parents or her family that matters at this time.. her kids need to be well rested for school, ditto for you. PIL are being very passive aggressive with you and tattling on you to your wife! It is your home, so your rules. I would've also covertly go e to my neighbors on either side if me, if you have any, and ask them to go knock on your door and complain to the PIL about the noise!
NTA! This is YOUR house, not his! It goes by YOUR rules. Tell FIL he has 2 choices----#1. A TV in the garage (he can get a smart TV at Wal-Mart under $200). I don't even think he'd keep the noise down with headphones! Or #2. Get a hotel, since you're a rude AF guest! Sit down with wife, kids, AND in-laws to discuss. Everyone has a say. Good luck!!!😊
Why not just have them wear Bluetooth headphones to listen to the TV at night? I use it all the time when I don't want to disrupt my wife or son, regardless of time of day. This feels akin to someone complaining about not being home to receive a call in a world full of cell phones. Give them headsets and let them blow out their ear drums all they want.
Who says the ILs aren't doing a fast one and getting housing money from the insurance and staying with them for free? They seem to be people who would do that sort of thing. inconsiderate of others and demanding like royalty
Have the insurance company pay you for them to stay there OR...SEND THEM TO A HOTEL.
Take a couple of days vacation and keep wife, Fil and MiL up all day with the same "courtesy" volume. If they don't get the message..... Send them all the address of the local extended stay hotel..... and driving directions to get there.
I agree most of all with the commenter who pointed out that their insurance would most likely have compensated their temporary housing. They felt entitled to inconvenience others when they could’ve simply stayed at a hotel, which would be better soundproofed than a single family home.
I hate labels. But, I wish I could disagree. That generation is starting to get that way. In all fairness, a lot people are starting to get that way, regardless of age. I'm a latchkey kid(Gen X, I guess), it seems like it started in the 80s and just got progressively worse.
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Have your kids call your wife at work complaining that they can't sleep everytime. Or have a neighbor report a noise complaint to the police. Have your parents stay over and blast TV in the am when she's sleeping.
Your tv, your house, your rules. He can adapt, lump it or move. Better yet, he needs a hobby. He can also read a book or surf the net. Lots of options. NTA.
I do have to agree with FiL, airpods look stupid, but that's the only thing I can agree with him on.
So because he doesn't want to change his routine the grandfather is okay with keeping his grandchildren from sleeping when they have school the next day? What an AH. Plus, if he is old enough to have grandkids he's old enough to not care that headphones "look stupid" if they keep him from being an AH to his own family.
If it were my house they would be out. It's a shame you're not home to turn up the volume so your wife would get a taste. Then, she'd know how your children felt. Her children, who should come first to her. Sit them all down give all three the rules, and if they don't like it, they can deal with it. Or leave.
Send them to hotel.Not good guests. Such rude thoughtless people.Grampa wants tv.Go live at hotel.
Shout out to their mother who thinks her kids deserve some sort of lesson in sleeping through loud noises in the middle of the night.
As I was reading it and also being a grandparent, just my grandkids alone would make me ensure they are always ok. Reading it to me it seems like they aren't good grandparents. Because they have absolutely no consideration for them. If the grandmother doesn't work, she should be making breakfast and getting them off to school not only because it's her grandkids, but also as a contribution to the household. I guess just for me I adore my grandkids and they are top priority regardless!
I am staying with friends until I can move into my own place. I pay rent, buy my own groceries, and pick up after myself. In no way does all that entitle me to disturb the occupants. It's rude, childish, and selfish to expect to be given leeway in behavior. OP handled the situation like a boss, and tough s--t if the in-laws and the wife don't agree. Wife needs to pull off the Underoos, pull on her grown-up panties, and start backing up her husband. That is, if she wants to avoid a rift in her marriage. This kind of nonsense can undermine, if not outright wreck, a relationship.
Not definitely the a*s. As a female, ur wife is not able to tell her parents and so trying to make u and kids adjust, but she definitely should take a stand and explain them the situation slowly and calmly. But as tht is not happening, u were just not given any option!
Been there! A few times. You try to help family and friends out and it just sucks when they take advantage. When you get home late , use the subtitles, it’s what I do!
NTA your inlaws are jerks and your wife is 2, leave it on loud so when she gets home she can try sleep through it, kick them Out
parents create the rules and children can challenge them, it's part of the process. Same goes for adults (co-workers, neighbors relatives) If this was a story between dad and teenage son would we question the respectful method? Would the teenager be treated more disrespectful because of age or same as the elder generation? It's respectful if it's fair and reasonable. Double standards are not respected in the work place or neighbor, therefore not in a home.
dude… you need to take your FIL outside and just beat the s**t out of him… apparently he needs some discipline and needs to learn to respect other people’s homes…
I whole heartedly agree, the minute you enter someone else's home you should respect them
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I do find it weird that OP didn't offer headphones but right away told them to not watch TV and has now blocked TV completely. The in laws were rude for sure but so is OP for the way he handled it.
These stories truly are clickbait nonsense to artificially fill the heads of the sheep that believe them to be 1) true 2) more important than any number of calamities threatening the world
They're Both TA! He's putting just one side of it, but he admits he doesn't like them. He could've disconnected the "sound system" & it just be TV volume for 2 months in order to keep the peace & everybody wins. He'd rather have strife bc He Doesn't Like Them! I don't want to hear that He shouldn't have to bc it's his house & they're guests. They're family & you do for family! The FIL maybe childish, but the husband is a jerk enjoying being an a*s. He doesn't have to "like" them, but he needs to remember that he has his lovely wife & children bc of them & be thankful!
Yta, by putting controls on the TV you even went against your wife who is on her parents side. You are the only one in that home with that opinion and didn't even respect your wife to the point you use parenting controls without her support.
8:30 bed time wtf teach your kids real life there are always noises around live with it Talk about entitlement you. Not the in-laws you are a true example off control freak live and let live
1. 8:30 is an appropriate bed time for kids their age. 2. Yes, there are noises everywhere, but they are light sleepers and young so they need to sleep. 3. He's not being entitled. 4. He's not a control freak. Just looking out for his kids in his house.
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Kids their age need an appropriate sleep schedule. The in laws are asshat, deal with it.
Load More Replies... I truly believe some people don’t register their level of nonsense until it’s done to them, so next step… when the kids go to school and the OP goes to work in the morning… the TV goes and sound system go on at that volume… and it’s left on with the password in place. Yes… things can be unplugged, but after a few days of waking up to do that… and your point has been made. Empathy is a great motivator! And it sounds like all the other adults in the house are lacking empathy.
Too bad OP has to treat people who should know better as if they were naughty children. If the wife works the graveyard shift, she has to sleep during the day. That would be a good time to let the in-laws crank up the volume, so it can dawn on her just how bad the late night problem is. I wonder if they were this loud when their kids were growing up., or just don’t want to own up to hearing loss. Also yes, insurance should pay for alternative accommodations, so either the IL were not insured, or they’re pocketing the housing allowance money. If it was my parents or IL, and they acted like this—-as if it’s their house, and they get to call all the shots like when their kids were little—-there would be an ultimatum: learn how to be polite guests in someone else’s home, or find a long term stay hotel room with a kitchenette.
Load More Replies... Their homeowners insurance absolutely would have given them a stipend for a hotel while their home is being repaired. They chose to pocket the money and instead inconvenience their family. OP should tell them that it is better for everyone if they use that money to pay for a hotel.
It's possible they don't know they're entitled to a hotel. A tree fell on our house many years ago, leaving a massive hole in the roof in the middle of winter. The insurance agent never told us we had that in our policy even though he knew we were sleeping in a house that we couldn't get above 55 degrees farenheit. We only found out about it a week later when going through the policy to see what was covered for replacement. Even then we had to provide receipts for the hotel; we weren't just given an arbitrary amount of money.
Load More Replies... iLs get a hotel and spend the money they were given for it. They need to stop encroaching on other people. Could give two shits what the FIL used to do after work s**t changes. Wife needs to cut the cord and grow the f**k up. Just because it's her parents doesn't mean they can run over anyone. Lesson should be learned that no one stays at the house idaf who it they are find something else
You have expressed this exactly how I felt when reading this story!
Load More Replies... That's insane. My mom would do anything for her grandkids. She's hard of hearing so she watches TV with the volume way up. But when the grandkids visit she puts the closed captions on instead so she doesn't disturb them. I can't imagine being a guest in someone's home and behaving like that!
I was thinking the same thing, what kind of grandparents would be so uncaring toward their own grandchildren?
Load More Replies... „My FIL send me links to earplugs for the kids“ ok… here FIL, some links for headphones for you
NTA, but i think your wife is too used to obeying her parents. I suggest you turn up the TV to the volume they listen to it when she is trying to sleep after her night shift. Also, appeal to their vanity, suggest they must be losing their hearing if they need it that loud, do they want you to schedule hearing tests for them?
That's kinda what I was thinking. It's crappy that the wife isn't just trusting and believing her own spouse AND children to begin with, but it should be a quick settle for her if he demonstrates exactly what they're playing and at what volume level it is when they're home together so she can experience it exactly herself. I wouldn't be retaliatory and do it while she's sleeping tho, as that seems like another fight waiting to happen. Also, aside from the tv solution, I'm sure they have computers or phones they can watch YouTube together with using headphones and one of the apps or extensions that are similar to Netflix Party so everything is still synced. It's a small ask / decent compromise to be able to continue your same lifestyle in someone else's house. I don't care who you are, I couldn't fathom acting like this. I go above and beyond to be as helpful and as out of the way as possible whenever I stay in someone else's space.
Load More Replies... Dude, seriously.... NTA. your house, your rules. Be the AH and before you kick them out blast the music through the house when he is sleeping, preferably putting speakers next to his bed and letting it rip. Then tell him to get the hell out. Your kids take priority over everyone else. Way to be an amazing D.A.D. (defending against dueshbags). Good luck
sounds like FIL is used to getting HIS own way. MIL may not have much say in that. DEF send a link for a couple of different types of headphones to him. Also as someone else said, put on closed caption function. You can also on most smart T V's set the volume and lock it in. GOOD LUCK
Closed captions not so great for enjoying music. Sounds like the in-laws are hard of hearing, but don't want to admit it.
Load More Replies... It's simple. Your in-laws are a******s. Send them to a hotel and they can be as loud as they want.
It would be great if they went to hotel and other guests complained about the volume.
Load More Replies... For all the earplug links send back hotel links. Their insurance should cover temporary housing/hotel til job is completed. And it's your and your wife's home. You could set up a nanny cam an let her into the feed to see the issues and talk to her parents about their behavior. Since she works nights and doesn't see the issue maybe have her sneak a day off to hide and be there when the fil gets back to start the ruckus. As guests go they really seem a bit rude.
To be honest the moment the wife sided with her parents I would've packed as many clothes as she needs and sent her to a hotel with her parents. If she's willing to let her kids get woken up at 11:30 AT NIGHT then she'll be willing to spend some time away from them. It surprises me people haven't pointed that if their kids keep getting woken up they'll be too tired for school and then the school will ask the kids if everything's ok at home and when the kids (who are 6 and 8 and have no FILTER or UNDERSTANDING of what exactly is happening) say "grandma and grandpa are up late and are loud at night and we cant sleep" then the school will either call the parents or if it keeps happening (which it probably will) will call CPS, and that's when OP has to really make a decision (and so does the wife)
Load More Replies... If they stay with relatives, they can pocket the insurance money or they were under insured. Anyway, my otherwise lovely dad is a tv blaster. His hearing is apparently fine but I think his problem is related to pitch and the frequency so he has trouble making out the words. Plus he likes it loud. He also thinks headphones look stupid but I pointed out “Who is going to look at you?” He wears his headphones and everyone is happy. Give them the password if they wear headphones. Otherwise, this is the deal.
One thing my parents always said was, "My house, my rules." As a homeowner, they were correct. When I go to my kid's houses, it's their house, their rules. It's a damn good system.
Good job for being a good parent and a reasonable person and respecting your children.
Load More Replies... NTA. Wife must be brainwashed by the people who raised her to be okay with inconsiderate behavior. Maybe after she gets home from working night shift allow her to share in being kept awake by a loud TV. Experience is a great teacher. The inlaws are hopeless.
It sounds like the FIL is toxic and controlling and the wife is used to giving in.
Load More Replies... They obviously are up nights and sleep days while you and the kids are at work/school, so their sleep is peaceful. I might have to come home from lunch one day while they sleep and blare some music, wifey deserves that as well.
I couldn't even finish this. The second i read my wife sided with her father, I was done. I've yet to read a situation where the OP and their partner actually agree on something?
So just because the in-laws are old, they think they have earned the right to do what they want, when they want and they don't have to take anyone else's feelings into consideration? That seems to be the mentality with them. I get that their routine is severely disrupted by not being able to stay in their own home (I, like many others, don't like it when my routine is disrupted, either) so they're trying to adapt until they can return home. I totally get that. But they are treating it like it's their home when it's not. OP has been very accommodating to their unfortunate situation and they just keep taking advantage. Also, it sounds like the wife should maybe get her kids' opinion since their lives are also being affected by this. She can't just blindly take her parents's side just because their her parents. That's a bit cowardly. OP is NTA.
FIL sounds like a child. Yeah, whatever happened to his house sucks. But he's a guest, maybe he needs to give up some creature comforts for the benefit of his grandkids. Is watching TV at night really more important to him than his grandkids getting a good night's sleep?
I have no idea where OP lives, but where I live playing anything that loud is against noise ordinances. I would remind in laws that every day noise ends at 8 depending on the area and they are responsible for any fines. Might be safer to have them stay in a motel
WOW.... this man deserves an award for even letting his inlaws sleep in his house at all, to be quite frank. My guests want for nothing, but not one of them has ever DARED violate my generosity with abuse. I'm not saying I'd throw them out on the spot, but keeping children awake on a schoolnight? ZERO tolerance.
Not to sound sarcastic, but most home insurance policies provide for hotel/motel funds, while the work is being done. It sounds like they are trying to pocket that portion, of the repairs. Also, wearing ear plugs- while sleeping especially children, can get impacted and cause permanent hearing loss.
It stopped being about the TV from the start. It is about control. FIL lost "king of the castle" status and can't handle it. OP is the "king" of this castle and is doing right by his family. There is an amicable solution if both men acknowledge their "status" and come at the solution with man to man respect. Some can call it toxic masculinity, but I'd take an alpha male ANY day. However, this is some beta male BS. The men need to handle this like real men. Sit down, negotiate terms, if nothing comes from it then FIL takes his wife to a hotel. Drama is not the absence of problems. Drama is the route taken to resolve problems.
Maybe disconnect the speaker system? If they dont have surround sound anymore it probably wouldn't get that loud
It is a FACT that most AITA contributors frame their stories to get most responders on their side. This one is pretty simple no matter who is telling the story: " when a guest in anyone's home, you abide by their rules or GET OUT" The wife and husband should be on the same page. The inlaws need to read up then act like guests with manners. TV and music are not necessities. I suspect we are not getting the whole story and there are power plays by everyone here ( the TV might not be up that loud and the 2 males are having other issues..the tv/music fight is their dominance jockeying by proxy) In the end it is the OPs home and that is it. It is only 2 months. Or longer. The insurance company usually pays for hotels. Or go watch TV or play music in the car. They are guests and need to remember guests abide by the hosts" rules or they leave.
Granted, you're probably right, but in this case, the insurance gave the the ILs a hotel stipend, they chose to pocket it and put out their adult child and family and are being terrible, inconsiderate houseguests. There's no reason for them to even be there.
Load More Replies... The IL's are beyond rude and actually could be doing it to cause problems for their SIL in his marriage. It is amazing what people do in this day and age. I believe the wife is and has probably been verbally abused by her parents and that's why she is taking sides against her husband but more than that; her own children. I am a mother and grandmother, and never could I imagine taking a side against one of them as an adult BUT NOT AS A CHILD. If this man wants to save his marriage and family, he needs to send them to a hotel, on their dime, not his.
This is a really straight forward situation that OP handled 100% correctly. If you can't use this thing without waking everybody in the house up, then you can't use it til everyone is awake. I can't understand why there was ever any doubt about this being sensible and appropriate. His wife needs to get her priorities straight and look after the well-being of the people who actually live in that house rather than coddling misbehaving guests. If this continues to be a fight I'd reach out to the kids' pediatrician for a definitive statement on the importance of them getting good sleep and let that settle it for good. Moreover, if the guests cannot behave in a way that is respectful of the fact that those kids (and their parents) live there and they do not, I'd suggest they make other arrangements for the remainder of their home repairs. Most insurance policies have hotel stays included in the event of serious damage to the home.
I think it's time to introduce your PIL to this wonderful thing called ✨hotels✨
My boyfriend and I are in our 50's and raising a 6 yo (midlife baby, I had all those urs thought I was sterile!). My boyfriend is hard of hearing and while he acknowledges it, he absolutely refuses to do anything about it. He still wants to listen to music loud enough to shake the neighboring houses. I think he's incredibly selfish on this matter. I have ptsd (seems like everyone has it) and certain loud noises make me really anxious and I can't concentrate. I've been trying for years to get him to use headphones or earbuds. He has finally, in the last 3 months or so, been trying out earbuds. He complains that they don't get loud enough, because you know....let's destroy the rest of his hearing ....at least he's finally trying though. Forcing others to listen to your stuff, whether it be music or talk radio or a show/movie, is not only selfish, but also so unnecessary in this age of wireless earbuds/headphones. Even my bf should be able to find "studio headphones".
Not his castle, not his crown. As a guest, it's disrespectful to ignore host requests - particularly reasonable noise levels. Don't like it, stay elsewhere. It's incredible how inconsiderate some people can be.
The FIL is sending him links to buy earplugs for the kids?! Send him some for HEADPHONES. You know, my husband puts those on when he watches stuff late at night. It's called common courtesy, especially for kids and even more so in someone else's home!
Nah that's way too nice. Reply with hotel links. It's not his house, he doesn't get to decide
Load More Replies... NTA. These in-laws are essentially guests in your home. Why aren't they considerate of their grandchildren's needs to get adequate sleep? Purely selfish people. I can see someone wanting to relax after work watching TV. Apparently that's all FIL knows how to do. Why does the TV need to be so loud? I would just go out and buy 2 sets of headphones. They can use them to watch TV, OR NOT.
They sound like TAs. There are headsets for TVs. Too bad there's not a way to.limit the volume.
I have an older sony tv which has a master volume control in the settings that you can increase/decrease the volume. Limits how loud the remote can be turned up. Maybe the OP has same on his tv. Would only work if the IL don't know how to change settings.
Load More Replies... The audacity of elders thinking their needs and wants trump others....!! My pet peeve is people loudly playing music/tv, because it's almost like these people don't care headphones exist and are so openly selfish that they don't bother to do the reasonable and polite thing (aka get and use headphones). That they don't suggests it's a powermove a là toddler, so they need to be handled as such.
In laws or not their neuro divergent if you can't conduct as a guest the home master is in their rights to kick you I would be the same two most insurances do cover hotels and rooms and three how the hell is the mother so neuro divergent to neglect her kids to defend her parents
Its always been my impression that when you stayed at someone else's house you went by their rules whether you were relatives or not. Who are these rude people? You have kids who need to go to school! Why don't they care about their own grand kids and you are doing them a huge favour letting them stay with you for 2 months (maybe longer if anything goes wrong) these people should be grateful not acting like teenagers. I would be sitting them down for a respectful chat about the house rules and the fact the kids have to go to school etc and gently remindly them that they are guests as a favor and if they prefer they always have the option of a hotel room where they can blast music as loudly as they like. Until then the child lock will remain in place and they can watch TV on their phones and ipads.
We rent rooms from a used-to-be friend. The "friend" has the TV on almost 24x7. She is also hard of hearing so it is really loud. She can't stand headphones. We use ear plugs. I really want to move but can't afford it.
Headphones for the parents seem to be the obvious solution, but this reminded me of the time my father stayed with us for an extended period while he convalesced. He was a big Fox news fan, which I can't stand to be around for more than a minute or so. He'd insist upon watching Hannity with the volume cranked up while I was making dinner, unable to escape. I ended up using parental controls to remove it from the lineup and peace was restored. (Mine, anyway.) He never did figure it out.
“Mi casa es NOT su casa! You are a guest. When in Rome, do as the Roman do.” This should be the rule in the house.
Everyone is blaming the IL's as they should because of their child-like behavior, however the mix of people with different sleeping schedules is really the cause of the situation, even though the grandparents could of course be more considerate and be quiet. It doesn't help that when two people who room together work different schedules where at any given point someone is sleeping, it can suck. Again, I agree with the op about the grandparents totally being a******s, I just think the mix of scheduling is going to create conflict for working people no matter what, and that it's ok to acknowledge that working at night in general sucks more than working a day shift, even if your a night person, because society isn't set up that way. Your messing up your circadian rhythm, generally have poor health outcomes, and if you room with others everyone has to be quiet all the time. All to accommodate capitalist accumulation for business owners at a faster rate. It's just sad.
NTA. The idea for headphones for the ILs/AHs is awesome! Years ago I allowed a friend to stay long-term and even allowed him his own tv room. I started getting bills for random streamed movies. He denied it was him. And it was literally random like Emperors New Groove and movies we already owned. I decided he was getting buzzed and/or hitting buttons with his meat hook fingers. He refused to pay for the movies and became hostile, denying it was him. Ok, once I can ask the streaming company to forgive, but I'm not going to keep asking. I set a password. He became hostile about this. He started cranking the volume when I tried to sleep. So i said get out. When he wouldn't (and after someone has been at an address for a period, they can refuse) I took the remote and the cord and said eviction proceedings begin in 3 days. Really just a hostile person. And now a former guest and former friend. Never extend this assistance again.
They may have some hearing losss. I see the Bluetooth headphones were mentioned. Even one pair would would as you can hear fine with just one ear. Alternatively, watch on a device with regular headphones. Your FIL making fun of headphones sounds like a MAGA type. Good luck,
absolutely NTA, this guy is just being a good father. Though I think that he should turn the parental controls off for one night only so that he can record how loud it actually is and show it to his wife. Maybe then she'll realize how big of an issue it is and take the side of her husband and kids.
I think he did a great job. You would think the GP would be considerate of their GC. But no they dont want to be inconvenienced. Well guess what you should have went to a hotel because you are inconveniencing your SIL and GC. So no one wins in the end. Daughter is wrong . She knows her kids sleep light. Who's sleeping with earplugs on? Remember you are not home, so your routine has to change!!! Be grateful they let you stay!!
I just wish "journalists" would stop creating "articles" that just break down a reddit post in between 4-5 ads. This is the bottom.
OP had me on his side until he made that stupid crack about "blasting boomer music". What exactly is " boomer music" anyway?
That's the "author" of the "article" saying that, not OP. OP is the guy who posted the story on reddit.
Load More Replies... Send the link back to him and tell him to buy them. Then blare it when they are trying to sleep....though given wife's schedule and FIL....might make wife more angry.....you could always film it to show to her how you've asked nicely and don't know what the next step is and want her input.
When having people over, make sure that boundaries are set. "No noise after such-and-such a time" and "buy your own food an label it, don't eat ours plz" "Clean the toilet after every use" "Don't cough into the air, if you have a lung condition, plz take steps to keep us from getting sick" I live in dorm housing and these boundaries prevent so many fights. A big one is snoring. The best way to deal with snoring is to get noise mufflers for the ears or listen to sleep music loud enough where you can't hear "Mr. Freight Train" nearby. Snoring is often caused by deep health/respitory issues. It's best NOT to ask a person to "stop snoring" because that is like asking a person to stop breathing. Lastly one thing that avoids the most conflict is don't reveal private details. Keep that tp yourself and don't be too chatty either.
When in Rome… As long as you understand that FIL is going to expect you to live his way at their house. Sometimes the power struggle, despite the fact that you feel RIGHT and your kids need their routine, isn’t worth it.
What needs to happen is to call your wife, once they have the TV or music turned up to how they like it, and let her HEAR, just how loud they are actually being! Let her then decide if it's her parents or her family that matters at this time.. her kids need to be well rested for school, ditto for you. PIL are being very passive aggressive with you and tattling on you to your wife! It is your home, so your rules. I would've also covertly go e to my neighbors on either side if me, if you have any, and ask them to go knock on your door and complain to the PIL about the noise!
NTA! This is YOUR house, not his! It goes by YOUR rules. Tell FIL he has 2 choices----#1. A TV in the garage (he can get a smart TV at Wal-Mart under $200). I don't even think he'd keep the noise down with headphones! Or #2. Get a hotel, since you're a rude AF guest! Sit down with wife, kids, AND in-laws to discuss. Everyone has a say. Good luck!!!😊
Why not just have them wear Bluetooth headphones to listen to the TV at night? I use it all the time when I don't want to disrupt my wife or son, regardless of time of day. This feels akin to someone complaining about not being home to receive a call in a world full of cell phones. Give them headsets and let them blow out their ear drums all they want.
Who says the ILs aren't doing a fast one and getting housing money from the insurance and staying with them for free? They seem to be people who would do that sort of thing. inconsiderate of others and demanding like royalty
Have the insurance company pay you for them to stay there OR...SEND THEM TO A HOTEL.
Take a couple of days vacation and keep wife, Fil and MiL up all day with the same "courtesy" volume. If they don't get the message..... Send them all the address of the local extended stay hotel..... and driving directions to get there.
I agree most of all with the commenter who pointed out that their insurance would most likely have compensated their temporary housing. They felt entitled to inconvenience others when they could’ve simply stayed at a hotel, which would be better soundproofed than a single family home.
I hate labels. But, I wish I could disagree. That generation is starting to get that way. In all fairness, a lot people are starting to get that way, regardless of age. I'm a latchkey kid(Gen X, I guess), it seems like it started in the 80s and just got progressively worse.
Load More Replies... Have your kids call your wife at work complaining that they can't sleep everytime. Or have a neighbor report a noise complaint to the police. Have your parents stay over and blast TV in the am when she's sleeping.
Your tv, your house, your rules. He can adapt, lump it or move. Better yet, he needs a hobby. He can also read a book or surf the net. Lots of options. NTA.
I do have to agree with FiL, airpods look stupid, but that's the only thing I can agree with him on.
So because he doesn't want to change his routine the grandfather is okay with keeping his grandchildren from sleeping when they have school the next day? What an AH. Plus, if he is old enough to have grandkids he's old enough to not care that headphones "look stupid" if they keep him from being an AH to his own family.
If it were my house they would be out. It's a shame you're not home to turn up the volume so your wife would get a taste. Then, she'd know how your children felt. Her children, who should come first to her. Sit them all down give all three the rules, and if they don't like it, they can deal with it. Or leave.
Send them to hotel.Not good guests. Such rude thoughtless people.Grampa wants tv.Go live at hotel.
Shout out to their mother who thinks her kids deserve some sort of lesson in sleeping through loud noises in the middle of the night.
As I was reading it and also being a grandparent, just my grandkids alone would make me ensure they are always ok. Reading it to me it seems like they aren't good grandparents. Because they have absolutely no consideration for them. If the grandmother doesn't work, she should be making breakfast and getting them off to school not only because it's her grandkids, but also as a contribution to the household. I guess just for me I adore my grandkids and they are top priority regardless!
I am staying with friends until I can move into my own place. I pay rent, buy my own groceries, and pick up after myself. In no way does all that entitle me to disturb the occupants. It's rude, childish, and selfish to expect to be given leeway in behavior. OP handled the situation like a boss, and tough s--t if the in-laws and the wife don't agree. Wife needs to pull off the Underoos, pull on her grown-up panties, and start backing up her husband. That is, if she wants to avoid a rift in her marriage. This kind of nonsense can undermine, if not outright wreck, a relationship.
Not definitely the a*s. As a female, ur wife is not able to tell her parents and so trying to make u and kids adjust, but she definitely should take a stand and explain them the situation slowly and calmly. But as tht is not happening, u were just not given any option!
Been there! A few times. You try to help family and friends out and it just sucks when they take advantage. When you get home late , use the subtitles, it’s what I do!
NTA your inlaws are jerks and your wife is 2, leave it on loud so when she gets home she can try sleep through it, kick them Out
parents create the rules and children can challenge them, it's part of the process. Same goes for adults (co-workers, neighbors relatives) If this was a story between dad and teenage son would we question the respectful method? Would the teenager be treated more disrespectful because of age or same as the elder generation? It's respectful if it's fair and reasonable. Double standards are not respected in the work place or neighbor, therefore not in a home.
dude… you need to take your FIL outside and just beat the s**t out of him… apparently he needs some discipline and needs to learn to respect other people’s homes…
I whole heartedly agree, the minute you enter someone else's home you should respect them
Load More Replies... I do find it weird that OP didn't offer headphones but right away told them to not watch TV and has now blocked TV completely. The in laws were rude for sure but so is OP for the way he handled it.
These stories truly are clickbait nonsense to artificially fill the heads of the sheep that believe them to be 1) true 2) more important than any number of calamities threatening the world
They're Both TA! He's putting just one side of it, but he admits he doesn't like them. He could've disconnected the "sound system" & it just be TV volume for 2 months in order to keep the peace & everybody wins. He'd rather have strife bc He Doesn't Like Them! I don't want to hear that He shouldn't have to bc it's his house & they're guests. They're family & you do for family! The FIL maybe childish, but the husband is a jerk enjoying being an a*s. He doesn't have to "like" them, but he needs to remember that he has his lovely wife & children bc of them & be thankful!
Yta, by putting controls on the TV you even went against your wife who is on her parents side. You are the only one in that home with that opinion and didn't even respect your wife to the point you use parenting controls without her support.
8:30 bed time wtf teach your kids real life there are always noises around live with it Talk about entitlement you. Not the in-laws you are a true example off control freak live and let live
1. 8:30 is an appropriate bed time for kids their age. 2. Yes, there are noises everywhere, but they are light sleepers and young so they need to sleep. 3. He's not being entitled. 4. He's not a control freak. Just looking out for his kids in his house.
Load More Replies... Kids their age need an appropriate sleep schedule. The in laws are asshat, deal with it.
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