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“Asked Me How To Boil Water”: 40 People Who Dated Someone With The Common Sense Of A Rock
When we care about someone, we tend to accept them as they are—flaws and all. That’s part of what love is.
But even love has its limits, especially when your partner starts acting less like an adult and more like someone who needs constant supervision.
These Redditors shared the exact moments they realized they were dating someone who couldn’t function in the real world—and let’s just say, some of these stories are jaw-dropping. Scroll down to read them all (and maybe feel a little better about your own dating history).
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
When my cat had cancer and he said "but you're supposed to take care of me!" and kept getting mad and vengeful because I wasn't available as much from spending time with my cat and grieving. Up until that point his mask had slipped off and he was actually a terrible human being. I broke up with him and spent the last 4 months with my cat, cuddling him and giving him all his favourite treats and things he enjoyed in peace.
RELATED:
#2
"Can we go to your place? My mom comes to clean my house on Thursdays."
His mom was 66. I didn't want to raise a manchild.
That tired person 4 months ago
if your mum is 66 and shes still cleaning your house, dont even talk to me
#3
I find a bit of catharsis every time I tell this story.
I was 18, dating a 21-year-old man. We left our apartment the morning of Canada Day to go to the beach for celebrations. I told him, multiple times, to put on sunscreen. He insisted that he did not need it.
We are very, very white people. Spoiler: he needed it.
We got home later that night, drunk, and one of us quite sunburnt. He cornered me in our bathroom and screamed, spittle flying, finger in my face, voice breaking, that it was *my* fault that he was *so* sunburnt and I should have *insisted* that he put on sunscreen because *how could he have known better*.
Then, he pushed me into a doorframe after I pushed past him. Not nearly equal displays of force.
I broke up with him later that week. I'm very grateful that I had the courage to do so. It was a deeply troubling relationship that has left me with a lot of mental turmoil.
Just me, Happy Flower 4 months ago
Oh my gosh, I’m picturing slapping the heck out of every burnt area. Then run!
#4
When I said I was going out with friends for dinner and he said “So you’re just going to leave me here to starve?!” No man, the house is filled with food and you have a car if you hate all of it. We broke up soon after.
#5
He asked me to stop using big words.
miked1912:
I dated someone who tried to put me on a two syllable per word limit. He then got frustrated when I would take a long time to respond in conversation because I was trying to filter myself down to his understanding.
blondechineeez:
Ohh god. I dated a guy who said something similar like that. He would say "stop using those $100 words."
I said I wasn't trying to make him feel dense, that this is the way I speak. I do have a college degree, but I am certainly not pretentious.
We stopped seeing each other amicably. He is still a friend. The girl he's currently dating appears to have the intellect of a teenager. He seems happy. So am I. I am not going to turn into a dolt just to have a conversation with anyone.
LookASquirrel 4 months ago
That's so sad. My husband admits he wasn't a great student and never read a lot. He has never read a book cover to cover. When i was in grades5-8 i live 5 walking minutes from the library and was free to take out any book i wanted. I read anything i could get my hands on. He's never afraid to ask what a word I say or he reads means(ever since he got his first ipad he reads the news a lot) and I never make fun of him. He's not a dumb guy, he was just busy out being a typical boy riding bikes and playing pranks and I was a shy nerd when i was young
#6
Mom imposes rules including "no overnights" and we can only be together for short times unsupervised and without checking in periodically. She was 33.
#7
When she made fun of me for getting emotional and sobbing when I found out my grandmother was in the hospital in critical condition after a serious fall during a surprise phone call from my dad. She wanted a “composed” boyfriend. Safe to say i ended that relationship real quick after that.
Sunshine 4 months ago
She should have been composed for him at that moment. He needed her love and compassion. That's how couples work, and if you're both sad about something, you can still lean on each other for comfort and understanding. One person should not have to be carrying the mental load like that. Sad.
#8
When he threw himself down the stairs out of anger for the first time.
#9
When after a small fight he said “so what are you going to do to make up for it?”
He wasn’t satisfied with any of my answers so he just outright said “are you going to buy me that lego i want?”
No shade to lego lovers but we were 31 and he was fully capable of buying it himself. He just didn’t want to because he wants me to buy it for him.
Freakin’ cold water to the face moment. I am ashamed to say, i stayed for another year after that. One of my greatest shame. But i did in fact NOT buy the stupid lego set.
#10
I got into an argument with him and I told him he was being condescending and he told me, “I don’t know what that means but I am not being it!”. Ugh he was so pretty yet so dumb.
#11
When I noticed their laundry pile was basically turning into a new species and when I asked why the laundry has piled up that much, he said he'll just buy new ones.
#12
When he wouldn’t let me in his bedroom because he had like 20+ water bottles fillled with p**s.
#13
When he asked why on earth anyone would have a savings account.
That tired person 4 months ago
Because... This is going to sound crazy, but.... You SAVE money??
#14
When a guy told me that he can't control himself no matter what the situation is (food, s*x, p**n, etc).
Dramatic-Ad-1261:
Hate these type of people. Can't is your excuse word for won't. If you "can't control yourself" then you need locked up as a danger to society. Learn self control.
#15
I work at a nursing home with severely delirious and aggressive patients. I came home with bruises all over my legs from being hit and kicked. My ex noticed, and thought I was cheating on him, and having really kinky s*x..........
#16
When the pile of dishes in his sink remained for over a month and the only reason the problem was solved was because I did them. Couldn't handle the stench anymore. Felt like his f****n mother and he was 31 years old.
#17
She didn't do laundry until she went home to visit her mother, who did it for her. Her in- building's machine was not overpriced and when she went home, she took the train. So she hauled bags and bags of smelly laundry on public transit two states away for her mom to wash.
#18
I broke up with my ex when I found her stash of months of unpaid bills because she lost her bank account login….
#19
I had surgery and was unable to clean (he never helped with any house chores, which should’ve been an indication of a bigger issue but anyway)
because of my surgery i was bedridden for a few weeks.
realized he wasn’t a functional adult when he panicked that our toilet was broken because there were rings around it. it was simply because i hadn’t been able to clean it, which i told him. his response was “there’s no way you clean this thing every 4 weeks. it’s broken” to which i replied “you’re right, i clean it weekly actually.”
broke up that same year.
Nikki Sevven 4 months ago
He'd better hope he never gets IBS-D. I clean my toilet daily. Sometimes more than once. It would be gross not to.
#20
When he gave me a weeks worth of silent treatment because he had told me I couldn't do something, and I did it anyway.
It was buying a new book for myself with my own money I earned.
According to him, if I didn't listen to him and do what he said on the small stuff, I wouldn't listen when It came to the big stuff, i.e., buying a house or having kids.
I got out of that relationship very quickly after that.
#21
My ex husband wanted a mother, not a wife. He needed reminders to brush his teeth, to take showers. Took pride in the fact he didn’t know how to cook and I cooked every meal (and even hand delivered them to his work so he’d have a hot meal every day since he worked nights). He slept all morning until he went to work. Never had any pto to do anything together as he spent most of his pto to stay home and play video games, so if I travelled anywhere I usually traveled alone. I did all the chores, and I even had to hire landscapers when I was tired of doing all the yard work by myself. Meanwhile he watched videos or listened to music on his computer with a headset on, and played games all day. After I asked for a divorce and moved back in with my parents 9 hours away, he had to text me on how to use the washing machine because that was also something he did not know how to do. Left some of the bills in my name (with his bank info on auto pay) as a favor when I left, since I did leave kind of abruptly, but after I got my own place and needed my own utilities set up, I was a “b***h” for cancelling the internet that he could have transferred to his own account months ago.
Truly taken advantage of as a whole, and at times feel really stupid I stayed for so long, but living with a narcissistic person for 15 years will do that to you :).
#22
When he asked if he had to wash his hands "every time" after taking a dump. It was cya later after that one.
#23
After I gave birth to our second child, he got angry because everyone was asking how I was. It would have been hard for him to watch all of that, too.
#24
She didn’t like to read because books are too long and boring.
#25
I realized she couldn’t take care of herself. She worked at a prestigious boarding school and ran a dorm, so I made excuses like saying she's busy with students, it was easier for her to eat at the cafeteria, etc. But at some point it got undeniable: rotting food in the fridge, laundry everywhere, a filthy bathroom, piles of junk on the table. Worst of all was her dog, which was barely trained and very neglected. I ended up feeding it, walking it, and cleaning up after it constantly because she'd just let messes sit until “she could get to it.”
We broke up for unrelated reasons, but looking back this was a huge red flag and now I see our relationship more as I was in a bad place mentally and thought I had to take care of somebody to give myself purpose -- taking the relationship well past the expiration date. On the plus side, the dog’s now with her parents, running around a big yard and living its best life with two other very spoiled dogs.
#27
When she said she was on her way to meet me for our date, called and said she was 20 minutes out, and then texted me 7 hours later, “I just woke up in my car. I gotta s**t real bad.”
What. The. F**k.
She was 38. We are not still together.
#28
I would have to tell him to brush his teeth 🙄.
isledonpenguins:
My ex boyfriend's breath literally smelled like mothballs. I told him this and told him it was affecting our intimacy.
We broke up right before Covid, and when the lockdowns started, we continued living together. We started seeing other people, and he'd report back to me that he'd "had no complaints from any of the girls he was seeing."
At the same time, he admitted to rarely brushing his teeth, instead primarily relying on those little disposable "brushes" you can buy at the drugstore. Is it that your breath doesn't stink? Or that these near-strangers don't feel comfortable telling you? 🙄
#29
Once I showed up at his place to spend the weekend. It was a planned visit, with plenty of lead time.
He didn’t have any toilet paper. Like, not in the dispenser, not a roll on the back of the toilet, not a roll tucked under the sink, nada. There wasn’t even a toilet paper roll tube on top of the incredibly overflowing trash can. And he didn’t even think to mention it when I went to the toilet the first time. He seemed kind of bemused and flabbergasted when I told him he was going to need some.
Like…I don’t want to contemplate what he was doing before I got there. Like…how was he pooping? Was he going out into the alley and s******g next to his downstairs neighbor’s Bichon Frisé?
Shelley Keenan 4 months ago
Apparently there’s a new trend where men find it “gay” to wipe. MAGA, probably.
#30
He quit is job one random day because he “just didn’t like it”. I was working full time, in school full time, and our son was less than a year old. It sadly took me quite awhile to end things, but when I look back I know that was the moment that I really knew. When I looked at him sitting on his computer playing video games, him telling me with such a nonchalant attitude. He didn’t work for nearly 2 months and still hardly lifted a finger to help around the house or with our son.
Jo Firth 4 months ago (edited)
Sounds like my ex who would leave a job/move interstate / always find a way to get rich quick ... at my expense. Not proud to say I lived with this for 21 years before he left me. 17 years on I am living my best life and just wish I'd had the courage to leave him the first time it happened. And before anyone comes at me for being stupid enough to do this - I was told by my parents almost every day of my life until I left home at 19 (and then whenever I spoke to them) that I was worthless and would never be good enough for anything. If you have kids build them up (within reason), don't tear them down.
#31
He claimed that therapy doesn’t work for anyone by saying “my brother went to therapy once and he told me it didn’t work”.
#32
When my ex gfs told me that they won't work, drive, cook, or help me out in emergencies but I'm expected to provide them a place to stay, pay all the bills and have still have enough money to take us both out to a vacation. She justified it by saying "it's traditional." I argued that she's basically looking for a sugar daddy. We broke up because I couldn't agree to a one sided relationship. Normally this is the part where I say that they've been single ever since but unfortunately it's been a 50/50. One of them was able to find a man that would give into her demands while the other ex sat at home for 10 years because she believed a man would come rescue her.
#33
The almost boyfriend: Had a "laundry room" which was a walk-in closet but he used it to hide a giant pile of dirty clothing. Maybe 100 pieces of clothing in there. When he wanted to wear something he would dig into the mountain, wash that one item, then repeat the cycle. He had a garbage room where he stored garbage, when he felt like it he would take 1 bag down to the dumpster. He also had the pizza box room. He ordered pizza every other day and kept the dirty boxes in one huge box a couch or something weird came in. He had 2 months notice that I was flying down to meet him in his apartment he had been living in for 3 years like this.
The awful ex: Our first day in our first apartment I asked him to help me with laundry. I asked him to put it away after I folded it all. As I started folding he would come over, grab *one* item, ask where to put it, then come back and repeat. But like... only took one thing at a time, even if there were 4 dish cloths in the pile. I was really confused about what in the actual f**k I was witnessing so I stopped him and ask why he was doing that. He had never done or seen laundry be done before. I knew in that moment that I had f****d up. (Although it took him bashing my head in with his fists for me to actually leave lol).
#34
We had $100 for the week to feed ourselves and our 3 kids until pay day. He spent $80 on Switch joycons.
"We can just borrow money from my mom or sister" he told me.
#35
Once per week she took her car to her parents. Her father would check the fluid levels and take it to the corner station to fill it up with gas. Apparently she never learned to use a gas pump because the machines are "too complicated these days." She was a pharmaceutical assistant.
BoredWolfe 4 months ago
Let’s make a new rule: to get a driver’s license you have to demonstrate that you can—at the very least—fill the car with gas. This should be part of the practical exam.
#36
When any time I spent away from her was assumed to be cheating on her.
#37
Amongst many other things, we lived together for around 2 years, she was unemployed for at least half of the time. She wanted her name on my house, bought a horse when she was unemployed. But the kicker is i have an activity I do every month. She was with her horse all day and comes home when I'm leaving to do my activity. She gets mad that I'm going to do my thing for the evening after she was doing her thing all day. She then proceeds to send a text message where she says she's going to k**l herself. Her parents, her friends, and the police all get involved and the police eventually find her. She gets brought home and I plan on sleeping on the couch and she comes out to yell at me for letting her go to bed on her own. She was amazing when everything was going her way, but good god was it a train wreck when it wasn't.
#39
When I explained to her after I bought her a vehicle that she would have temporary tags and stand out on the road and would need to drive safe and obey the traffic rules.
She was arrested for Reckless Driving two days later.
#40
It was when I got promoted at work, something I’d worked years for, and his first response wasn’t ‘congratulations’, but ‘so does this mean you’ll be too busy for me now?’ I laughed it off at the time, but later that night, I sat in the kitchen alone, eating cold leftovers I had cooked for both of us, while he was in the other room gaming. That’s when it clicked, I wasn’t in a partnership, I was anchoring someone who never planed to swim.
#41
When he tried to duck from a kiss cam at a cold play concert. His wife must be pissed.
#42
He didn't know he would get arrested for drunk driving. Apparently he though he could just argue with the cops and the judge and he would get his way. That's how he was raised, if he pestered his mommy for money long enough she'd cave and give him what he wanted. Then she would get wasted to drown her own disappointment. My ex was 30 and freaked out on his mom for not bailing him out. I think she was enjoying the silence and alone time.
#43
So many great options to pick from but the clearest indicator was when he threatened s*****e (no intention of following through) not once, not twice, but thrice... jokes on him cause I had him held for 72 hours after the last time cause I couldn't handle the stress. Needless to say we're no longer together.
#44
When should I have?
- When she blew up at me at a friend’s wedding because I was 60s late meeting her near the bathrooms. Someone I hadn’t seen in years approached me to say “hi”
- When I caught on that she would rather start a fight with me than pack her bags for her work trips
- When she suddenly became interested in me inviting a very wealthy friend over
When did I?
When I found out my closest family member had a stroke and was given 48 hours to live and my aunt asked me to write a letter and she would read it to her.
It was the only time in our 4 year relationship I ever cried. It was also 4 hours before we flew to Vegas for 1 of her 3 birthday month trips, where she spent 3 hours screaming at me in the room because the dress clothes I brought didn’t match her outfits.
I was so numb with shock and sorrow I just let her scream while wondering how my life turned into this.
#45
Refused to acknowledge (diagnosed) mental illnesses (e.g take his meds - I had to go to the pharmacy to refill them - go to his therapy sessions, do even the smallest thing like a mental health walk) and blamed everyone else around him for everything that had ever happened to him. 31 years old.
Kabuki Kitsune 4 months ago
Schizophrenia most likely. I'm dealing with this thing right now with a friend. Not fun in the least.
#46
He didn't know my last name...after a year and a half of dating. The night he broke up with me, I straight up asked him "do you even know my last name?" and he sat there, trying to remember what it was, but then he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in defeat.
I'm sitting here laughing like a hyena just thinking about it. Peter, you are one dumb f**king piece of work.
#47
When he broke my bed by jumping on it like a little kid. We broke up shortly after that, and he ended up moving in with a mutual friend. She told me he broke her futon doing the same thing.
#48
When his lease ended and he asked to move in with me, rent free, for what ended up being 3 months to “figure stuff out”, all while being “not ready” to call me his girlfriend.
#49
We were in our mid-20s and he refused to learn to drive. But he also didn’t like taking public transit and expected people to drive him around. I had to do all of the errands. He also didn’t cook so I did all of the cooking. On weekends he agreed to do one chore. It was always vacuuming. He would wait until Sunday at like 8pm to do it and if I asked before then, he would call me a nag. It’s not like he was providing for me. I was making like 30k more per year than he was and was getting an additional degree at the time. So night when I had classes I had to prepare crock pot meals for him.
One time I didn’t have a chance to prep in advance so I asked him to just pop in a frozen lasagna and save me some. When I got home at 9pm after working from 8-4 and class from 5:30-8, he told me his friend dropped him off dinner and I would need to just make something for myself. Apparently putting something in the oven was too much work. I was done. I don’t even know how we made it to that point. I guess I had a low sense of self worth. When I broke up with him I was “evil” and he turned into a creep who tried to get me fired by making up lies about me to my employer (who laughed in his face).
#50
He started arguing with me when I asked him to stop looking at his phone while driving. Apparently, it's fine if you just glance at it every other second and only take your hands mostly off the wheel to mess with it. But what do I know? He's a "great driver" and if I don't like it I should just get my licence.
#51
When he would get triggered by the smallest thing and decide it was okay to scream at me instead of using his normal voice and when he would snap at anyone for the smallest of thing.
Kabuki Kitsune 4 months ago
Anger management issues. Probably some trauma in his childhood that caused it.
#52
Paid every single bill by myself for 6 years and when I broke down and cried to her about our financial woes she said "maybe you need to look for a second job."
Took way too long to come to the truth that she wasn't going to get better. Ended things that year. I cried when my current partner venmoed me their half of the bills for the first time.
#53
When we bought a house and she couldn't figure out basic things, like how to mop a floor.
LookASquirrel 4 months ago
How do you get to the point of buying a house together and not know these things?
#54
In every case: Way too late.
Dude #1. When he used me as an emotional fluffer for his "evil ex girlfriend" and then ghosted me for a coworker, who ghosted him, and then he got with another coworker.
Less than 3 months later:
Dude #2. When he couldn't even get his own job, wake himself up for work, handle disagreements maturely, make his own doctors appointment, or take care of his own kid.
More than 3 years later:
3. We pretty much spoke 24/7 for 6 months. But she couldn't handle not speaking for a few days because I was super busy emptying my apartment and suggested breaking up if I couldn't meet her emotional needs. Shocked her with an "alright then." She didn't want to break up even though I did and asked for a few more months as test to see if I would change my mind. I gave her the few months. I didn't change my mind.
Less than 3 months later:
4. When, after I made her a lunch for work a few times but she came to expect it and would just starve herself if I didn't make it for her. When she would re-read painful messages just to hurt herself. When she couldn't handle me going out of town for a work event even though it didn't change when I came home for the day. When she couldn't handle me leaving to help a friend move cause she wasn't invited.
ANYWAY. That last one made me reflect much more about my codependent relationships and the common denominator and I've been single and much happier since that last breakup a few years ago.
#55
No food in the house, ever, dirty place, a high energy dog (aussie) left in a cage all day or just tied up out back. I hate when people get "trophie dogs". They like the odea of having a dog but not ready for the amount of work ot is. Ive talk many people out of getting puppies by reminding them of the realities of it.
Zelda McLink 4 months ago
I love dogs, but I in no way can look after one properly. I have a cat and he is proper spoiled, but a cat is easy to leave at home when you're at work. He just sleeps!
#56
“Can you eat peanut butter oreo’s, or will you go into intergalactic shock?”
We’re getting married.
#57
He bought me sexy underwear for my birthday, and then let slip that his mother had insisted on paying so he owed her money.
Me: Wait, YOUR MOM paid for these!?! She was AT THE STORE!?!
BF: ...
BF: Babe I f**ked up.
Kabuki Kitsune 4 months ago
This isn't so much a red flag, as funny. Dude knows he's in trouble and likely about to get it from both the GF, and the mom.
#58
She thought dragons were a type of dinosaur. I also had to explain that the sun was in fact a star.
#59
When I used facts and logic to back up my case in an argument, and she said, "So! Those don't mean anything!"
Oh s**t. Go figure the relationship went downhill and ended six months later.
michael Chock 4 months ago
Religion teaches us all that if you believe in something enough, your belief alone proves it's true. It's called faith. Anyone trying to dismiss (or contradict) your faith is just trying to convert you to evil.
#60
When he'd rage at me for paying our (already overdue) bills and buying groceries because then he didn't have enough money to buy a pack of smokes. This man was in his 40's.
#61
We'd only talk about him, only hang out on his schedule, and I'd foot the bill for everything. It wasn't until I was helping him write in the correct tone for one of his master's essays, did I think 'what am I doing? This man is nine years older than me and I've become his mother.'
#62
When I had to ask her to leave and go home because I was having a medical emergency. She was over and we were hanging out and I had been in pain all day but I decided to tough it out so I could spend time with her. But the pain got worse, so bad I was sitting by the toilet throwing up and crying. It got so painful that I called 911 and had to be picked up by an ambulance. I got a text from her while in the ambulance "Are you having second thoughts (about the relationship)?" (It turned out to be a post surgery infection btw and I got hospitalized for a few days)
Basically she was extremely codependant. If you are finding your whole source of self worth and everything in someone or can't live without another person you have a problem.
EDIT: Just realized I didn't word this clearly there was some confusion in the replies. I told her I needed to go to the ER and asked her to leave, told her I would reschedule and we would get together later. When she first got there that day I told her I was in pain but we could sit and talk and just enjoy being around each other. I thought I already wrote this in what I said but I reread it and realized I didn't include that.
#63
When they only complained about house chores not being done, but would never opt to do any themselves.
Complain about me not being much of a cook, while only cooking maybe once every couple weeks (so I was the one technically feeding us most the time, doing the grocery shopping and buying us food)
Raised as a rich kid with hired live-in (impoverished) help, doing all the cooking and cleaning. It's no wonder, in hindsight.
#64
3 things.
- When they start throwing out tests. Huge red flag. Life is hard. I don't need more "tests"
- Unable to communicate, throwing tantrums. God forbid not all of us are mind readers.
- When all she does is complaining about her exes. Eg. "All my exes are narcissists". I am a great believer of "if you smell excrement everywhere you go you might want to check your shoe".
Any of the first 2, I immediately will leave. Not interested in being a caretaker for low functioning adults with room temperature IQ. 3rd is situational.
Margaret Wartime 4 months ago
One of my coworkers’ wives is putting him through “tests” right now. Obviously he’s failing them, because “tests” in a relationship are always meant to trip someone up. She asked him “what do you think about *his female manager’s name*?” He said “idk, I think she does a great job and our store probably wouldn’t be doing as well without her.” 🚨 FAILED 🚨 She lost her mind and accused him of having a crush on her. He was venting to me the other day over how stressful it is. He’s a good guy but his wife is causing so many issues in their relationship. They’ve been going to couples counselling but she walked out halfway through their last session. I feel like I can see an impending divorce on the horizon haha, she’s too jealous and he’s too tired. Thank you for reading my office gossip 😂
#65
When we were out to dinner with his family. The salad course came out. Caesar salad with anchovies. He was a picky eater. I swear to god his eyes started to well up when it was placed in front of him. I see him look at his mom. She asks the waiter to take it away and get him one without anchovies. He was 34.
Edit: I’d like to also mention it was a singular, full anchovy. I guarantee you the waiter took it out back, picked up the anchovy, put in the trash, and then walked back to the table.
#66
When I first went to my exes place, which was his parents house (he was 23). His room was still decorated with wallpaper he picked out when he was *eight*. His bed had a warped hole in the middle because he’d worn in the mattress for god knows how long. And to top it all off, he had an insane amount of HALF empty water and gatorade bottles all over the place. Like in piles and heaps. Hundreds, dude. None were fully empty.
We actually got into a big fight because I forced him to clean and as I was helping I scolded him for wasting his moms money like that. I knew I’d be pissed if my adult child living under my roof was hoarding bottled drinks he wasn’t even finishing.
That’s when I realized I was dating a man child.
#67
Some issue would come up and we would fight about it but then the next day she would just refuse to talk about it. Either pretended the fight hadn't happened or act like the fight had been the resolution and it wasn't an issue anymore. Nothing ever got resolved and issues just kept piling up between us.
#68
Well there were a few times I probably SHOULD have realized, but here we go.
Before we moved in together, he was living in a cheap apartment that had cockroaches. When we moved in together to a nice (and brand new) building, he “didn’t think” about cleaning or somehow ensuring he didn’t bring his roommates with him. He initially said we should make the building pay for pest control. I cleaned, sorted out the exterminator, threw out the affected items and re-bagged all of my pantry items.
I gave him a set of towels. Ten months later, he walked into the bedroom after a shower, sat on the bed and I GAGGED. He hadn’t washed them once and the smell was … overpowering.
He complained about having acne on his back so I asked what he uses to wash. He said he couldn’t reach his back, so he didn’t wash it. I bought him a loofah on a stick, problem solved.
He made dinner once and cooked an entire package of frozen vegetables as well as a bag of rice.
The final straw, though, was when this extended to my cats. After months of cooking and cleaning mostly by myself, I made a colour-coded chore list and asked him to pick some chores he could do. He picked cat litter. A couple weeks later I walked past the room the litter box was in (the same room he worked out and got dressed in every morning), and noticed a bag of litter I’d bought weeks prior still untouched. Thought it was strange, poked my head in - and saw multiple piles and puddles on the floor, as well as the wooden enclosure I’d bought for their litter expanding due to being soaked in urine. We were done within a couple weeks, don’t f**k with my cats.
#69
When it was down to me to do literally everything for them. Decide what we’re doing for the day, what we’re having for dinner. Also, somehow, it was my responsibility to make appointments for them, tell them where to go to look for work or something like that.
#70
Idk how this conversation started. My ex thought practicing basic hygiene like washing your hands was beneath him. He boasted how even if he didn’t wash his hands and rubs his face he never gets pink eye. Then proceeds to reach his hand, dig his uncleaned a*s, then rubs it all in his eyes. The next day he has pink eye in both eyes.
#71
She would make huge elaborate meals. Eat one portion and then leave it all out to rot until I cleaned it up. She couldn’t do dishes because it was gross. She had a job, but was always broke even though I paid the rent, bought the groceries, paid the car insurance, paid the utilities and she didn’t have a car payment. I believe the totality of her expenses was an overpriced phone plan. To be fair she did always have w**d if I wanted to smoke.
#72
Mid-twenties and his mom still did his laundry.
#73
When she told me my daddy has money so I can afford to buy her dinner when I told her I was struggling financially.
#74
Oh man, this one time my date showed up five hours late to pick me up for dinner. I was already starving, my stomach growling like a feral animal. By the time we got there, the restaurant was packed, and we had to wait another 45 minutes for a table. Then, when they finally called our name, she took one look at the spot and dead**s said, ‘Nope, the feng shui is wrong.’.
#75
22 yo didn’t like or eat vegetables AT ALL. Had to coddle him like a toddler to try some and he’d chew on it like I fed him s**t and exclaim “Argh it tastes like cardboard” “I don’t need vegetables I eat fruit!” Horrible just horrible.
#76
When he said he voted for Trump because it made him feel like “a free-thinking adult when everyone was on Clinton’s side.” By everyone, he meant me. I was the only democrat in our entire social circle lol.
#77
Took home leftover ribs from a dinner. Put them into the trunk of his car. Forgot about them until like 4 days later and instead of throwing them out, just microwaved them for 8 minutes because “that should k**l any bacteria”.
Dated him another full year lol.
One time he also took full pickles and wrapped my underwear around them and put them back into my pantie drawer.
#78
Her online homework gave a tutorial mix and match quiz to make sure the program worked correctly on her computer. She was given "North America" and couldn't place it on a map. This is 100% real, I had to hold myself together to tell her where it was without being condescending. She's a nurse now.
Kabuki Kitsune 4 months ago
Geography isn't really taught in schools as much as it used to be, so this one is more common than you'd think.
#79
When he’d ask passive aggressive questions instead of directly asking what he wanted to know.
#80
When I would wait for her to come home from work only to hear she was having a drink with her coworkers. One turned to closing the bar. Id have to pick her s**t faced self up or be woken up at 2:30-5 am to her stumbling in, mumbling to herself.
One time I got a call at 7 am to pick her up from a friend's. Another time she fell asleep in a pool of her vomit with her retainer popped out in it on the bedroom floor. I cleaned her off, the puke, and the retainer before going back to bed. She was 38.
#81
When their bank account and expenses are controlled by their parents
EDIT:
I realised this was a bit badly phrased. I meant to say, when they don’t have a bank account, and have to ask permission to spend money from their parents. Context: Early 20s, students.
Kabuki Kitsune 4 months ago
I can see something of a justification here for this, especially if he's previously demonstrated a tendency to be very bad with money; or can't secure a bank account for themselves due to bad or no credit. (Note, in the US, many banks will perform credit checks before deciding if they should allow someone to open an account.)
#82
Pissed the bed( supposedly a medical condition that they hadn’t disclosed yet) but then laid in the p**s for several hours. I had just gotten a new mattress too.
#84
When it became apparent that they fully believed that living on 15k a year as a freelance artist was perfectly acceptable and had no plans to do anything to drag themselves out of the financial hole they had dug. No savings, no retirement, relying on state health insurance.
It took so long for things to deteriorate that I didn't realize how bad it was until I was drowning in boiling water. They didn't drive, stopped paying their student loans, didn't cook or clean much, smoked weed every day, and became an alcoholic. And had the audacity to berate me for not being interested in having s*x with them anymore.
#85
Was seeing this extremely attractive girl who would've normally been out of my league. Whatever, better to be lucky than good, right? We'd been on a few dates, and I took her to a restauarant.
Halfway through the meal, she takes a sugar packet from the table, and puts it in her purse. I asked her what she was doing. "I collect sugar packets from restaurants I like. See?" And then from her purse, she pulls out about 20 sugar packets. And they're ALL THE FUCKiNG SAME. They weren't matchbooks, no names or logos, just a pile of white sugar packets. She then spent the next few minutes unsuccessful trying to identify which packet was from which restaurant.
I can't say I noped out of there, but it was an "ah-ha" moment.
TLDR: She collected sugar packets as souveigneres from restaurants. Identical ones.
Sarah Matsoukis 4 months ago
And that was bad enough to dump someone out of his league? It did no harm.
#86
When he kept lying about his daughter's age and she went from probably 3 to him helping her paint her new apartment in about a month. He was a terrible liar and was terrified of our age difference so he thought making her seem younger was better.
#87
Out of the blue he got down and started literally rolling in laughter in public. When I asked him what's so funny, he just said "I just remembered something funny." He wouldn't say what. People stared but he just laughed harder.
#88
He texted me, after a night of drinking with his friends and driving home, we’re in a ditch
So I started panicking, and said I’m getting in the car to come get him (it was 2am).
He was less than a football field away from his house and they were ‘in a ditch’ because his friend ran out of the house high as hell and tripped.
He didn’t understand why I was so mad.
#89
was dating this ludicrously out of my league girl for a few months, one night she was telling me that the government put flouride in the water to make our bones weak for whatever reason. she also complained about always being broke despite never holding a job for more than 3 months, i was never more relieved than when she broke up with me.
#90
When I had my first anxiety attack in front of him and he panicked, made it about him, and said "what do I do, what do I do?!" before screaming at me "CALM DOWN!" and pushing me.
Kabuki Kitsune 4 months ago
Not a red flag so much as a sympathetic panic attack. Basically, happens when someone who has an anxiety disorder, has their fight or flight response triggered by someone else's own panic attack.
#91
Didn't buy soap/bodywash after running out for at least two days. There was a store right in front of his place.
#92
She got overwhelmed, crying and hyperventilating every day, and would call her mom for half an hour to calm down. She expected me to take over that role, calling me while I was teaching classes, expecting me to pick up immediately, and abandoning my students for 30 minutes.
And she a**aulted me in my sleep and started hysterically crying when I said 'no' if she wanted s*x.
#93
Still lived with his mum in his 30s, I cleaned his room when he was at gym (mum had given up 😅) he berated me for embarrassing him 🙄.
#94
When he’d s**t faced on a Tuesday night and makes phones call in his back yard bawling at 2am.
#95
When she graduated college she told me that she had trouble reading text on a monitor so she couldn’t look for a job (cs degree) but she logged hundreds of hours of ark survival in several months.
We both had cs degrees she said her eds meant she couldn’t work from home.
Lady Eowyn 4 months ago
I assume CS means computer science. And that Ark is a game. EDS? Got me there.
#96
When they attacked me for saying that I wanted to spend time with them and that I missed them (what are you? a child?) because it had been a few months since our last meeting... when they attacked me for saying I need to create a budget because their sudden expenses put me over my limit... when they outright said they don't like anything difficult and will run away when things get 'hard'...
Lots and lots of other things too but it feels like they're still a teenager despite being 30+ with a child... they don't want their child to travel because their grandfather will 'miss them' despite them living 8hrs away majority of the time... plus all the other lies.
#98
Wasn't until I actually moved in with her. I have never known some so f**king clumsy in my entire life. Drops things constantly, bumps into things all the time, fallen down the stairs more times than I care to mention. I honestly thought she may have had some motor-function illness or something but she's just the doziest idiot in the world. Anyway it's been 11 years so far and I've run out of witty comments in response to her being donkey brained so any help would be welcomed.
Kathy Brooke 4 months ago
I married "the phantom drink flinger". I recommend a good carpet cleaner... I have one that will vacuum up spills and do a spot shampoo in one effort. Mind, my husband had severe medical issues. He could drop something and break it, then trigger a major nosebleed by bending to clean up. More than once I came home to find a room looking like a murder scene.
#100
What is your star sign she asked me whilst looking waay too serious.
Because Capricorns don't believe that's an actual thing I said.
Tough room of one.
What do you think ?
Wendy Miller 4 months ago
Wow, these make me sad. So many so-called adults who can't do for themselves. This also makes me grateful for my husband. When we met, he'd been on his own for a while and perfectly capable of taking care of himself. We both cook, clean, work, and pay bills. So happy I'm out of the dating pool.
JB 4 months ago
Reason 3,298 why I’m happily divorced. Got yelled at for “costing us $100s” for not canceling a satellite internet service when we changed to a different provider, despite having told him every month, for 6 months, “I can’t cancel the internet service you set up in your name, using your credit card. I’ve tried but since you didn’t add me to the account, customer service refuses to cancel on my say so. YOU have to contact them to cancel, or at least add me to the account so I can manage it like you want me to.”
MedusaWasBeautiful 4 months ago
Reading these makes me glad I have stayed single for the last 22 years.
Wendy Miller 4 months ago
Wow, these make me sad. So many so-called adults who can't do for themselves. This also makes me grateful for my husband. When we met, he'd been on his own for a while and perfectly capable of taking care of himself. We both cook, clean, work, and pay bills. So happy I'm out of the dating pool.
JB 4 months ago
Reason 3,298 why I’m happily divorced. Got yelled at for “costing us $100s” for not canceling a satellite internet service when we changed to a different provider, despite having told him every month, for 6 months, “I can’t cancel the internet service you set up in your name, using your credit card. I’ve tried but since you didn’t add me to the account, customer service refuses to cancel on my say so. YOU have to contact them to cancel, or at least add me to the account so I can manage it like you want me to.”
MedusaWasBeautiful 4 months ago
Reading these makes me glad I have stayed single for the last 22 years.
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