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Man Must Pay Cheating Wife 20 Years Of Alimony, Plots An Epic And Life-Ruining Revenge In Return
Young woman with an easy-going lifestyle embraces a man closely, hinting at a secretive and tense relationship moment.

Man Must Pay Cheating Wife 20 Years Of Alimony, Plots An Epic And Life-Ruining Revenge In Return

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A messy divorce is often a brutal game of chess. Most people just try to survive, trading pieces and hoping for a draw. If you are lucky, everyone plays by the rules, begrudgingly accepting the painful but predictable outcome.

But for one “finance guy,” a man who lived by the numbers, his wife’s betrayal wasn’t a move to be countered; it was a game to be ended. Checkmate was never going to be enough. He needed to flip the board over and take all the pieces with him.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Unfortunately, in some divorces, legally speaking, cheaters sometimes prosper, and it feels there is nothing you can do about it

    A woman with an easy-going lifestyle embraces her husband closely in a bright, modern kitchen setting.

    Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    But one well-off finance guy took matters into his own hands when he was ordered to pay a massive settlement to his cheating wife

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    He was unwilling to reward her betrayal, and he hatched a secret meticulous plan for revenge

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    He sold their house, moved all their assets to his home country, and then vanished, cutting off all payments

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    He felt safe from U.S. law as he left her with nothing, but his grown children are now divided on the matter

    A man who spent over 20 years working 12-hour days as a quantitative analyst (aka a finance bro) to fund his wife’s “extremely easy-going” stay-at-home-mom lifestyle recently discovered her long-term secret: she was cheating on him with her friend’s husband. The discovery immediately led to a divorce, a battle that would not be fought on a level playing field.

    The court’s decision was a bitter pill for him to swallow. She was awarded half of their investments, 90% of which were held abroad in his name. To add insult to injury, he also had to pay 20 years of alimony. In his mind, instead of justice for a partnership, it was a reward for her betrayal, a price he was absolutely unwilling to pay.

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    So, this finance guy did what a finance guy does best: he found a loophole. He played along, pretending to cooperate while secretly orchestrating a grand, international escape plan. He sold their house, moved every last penny of their assets to his home country, and then, after stringing her along for a while, made his final move. He boarded a plane, vanished, and immediately stopped all alimony payments.

    Now, safe in a country where she has “no legal recourse,” he has left her with a pittance, a brutal act of financial revenge. But his victory has come at a cost. His own children are now split, with his son on his side and his daughters siding with their mother. He’s now asking the internet to be the final judge in a family war of his own making.

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    Woman with a stressed expression holding her head, reflecting on the end of her easy-going lifestyle after affair discovery.

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    The court’s initial alimony ruling, while infuriating to the husband, is a standard outcome in a high-income, long-term marriage. As legal experts explain, spousal support is calculated based on the “marital lifestyle.” A 20-year marriage where one partner was a SAH parent almost always results in a significant award. Her infidelity, while emotionally devastating, is not a factor in a no-fault state, making the court’s decision a legal reality.

    This situation is also a classic “gray divorce,” which, as the BBC notes, still has a divisive impact on adult children. They are forced to navigate the emotional fallout and are often put in a position of taking sides, just as his have. His decision to continue supporting the kids financially while cutting off their mother is a common, though fraught, attempt to separate his parental role from his spousal anger.

    However, the husband’s “perfect” escape plan comes with an enormous and irreversible personal cost. To protect his assets in his home country, he wrote that he had to renounce his U.S. citizenship, as China does not recognize dual citizenship for adults. This means he can likely never return to the U.S. to see his children or attend major life events like weddings or graduations without significant legal hurdles.

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    His act of financial revenge was a legal maneuver at first, but it became an act of self-exile. In his quest to punish his ex-wife, he has also inflicted a second, profound loss on his children, who have now not only lost their intact family but also their father’s physical presence in their lives. His “victory” is a lonely and permanent one. Cut off your nose to spite your face much?

    Do you think his decision to take flight instead of fight was a rational one? Tell us what you would have done in the comments section!

    The internet was wildly divided, with some celebrating his cold revenge while others reminded him of the lasting scar he is leaving on the kids

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    Louise Pieterse

    Louise Pieterse

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Louise Pieterse

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    What do you think ?
    lenka
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ladies.... never EVER agree to be a stay at home wife unless your husband is making contributions to your savings/pension/superannuation/401k that equal whatever his pension contributions are. If you are still together in retirement - great. You have double the savings to enjoy together. Otherwise you will be another statistic in the ever increasing cohort of middle age women who will spend their senior years living in poverty because of men like this.

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes, absolutely this! Don't fall for the 'this is so transactional' argument when you insist that as a SAHM you need to be able to save and have pension.

    Load More Replies...
    Earonn -
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder: if he had cheated, would he have agreed that she should get all the money, including his pension? Or would that have seemed too harsh to him?

    Sarah
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    But that’s not the scenario here. I wouldn’t feel it fair to hand over savings etc to a spouse who cheated on me .

    Load More Replies...
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His wife was quite stupid. She had no idea what was going on with her family's finances, decided to "stay home" and never work so she has no viable work experience and failed to count the possible cost of her infidelity. Guess she's learning the old adage, "cheaters never prosper". Perhaps if she didn't have such low character and had just gotten a divorce before starting a new relationship, things might have turned out differently.

    Natalia
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought hiding money in foreign accounts was/would be illegal

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is. Which is why he can't return to the US. See his statement saying he can't be there for his kids physically. When he checked with lawyers I believe that was for the laws of the country he's currently in, not the US where the alimony was ordered.

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She chose to stay at home and she chose to cheat.nta

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She chose to run his home and raise the kids, which she did. She contributed, therefore she is owed. This guy's an a**

    Load More Replies...
    tameson
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A woman without a career is one death or divorce away from poverty. I knew a woman who had always wanted to go to graduate school. She got accepted to her first choice school but they told her since she was married she couldn't get an assistantship. She couldn't afford it without the assistantship and ended up being a stay at home mom. Two decades later she has four kids and a husband who had quadruple bypass surgery. They both agreed it was time for graduate school. She got accepted by that same school, this time with an assistantship.

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It sounds like he never wanted her to be a SAHM and just went along with it, then once the kids were in school and she had a cushy lifestyle he still just let her and never did anything about it. If you're not happy working 12 hours a day while your partner does yoga, nails, and lunch then do something about it. I can't stand cheaters but also can't stand tax evaders who hide their money in other countries.. ESH.

    Anony Mouse
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Deadbeat bragging about skipping the country to avoid legal and financial obligations and people are defending him? So she cheated - it sounds like he was fairly absent and definitely uncommunicative. What a jerk.

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really hope it was worth it to not be able to return to the US and see his kids/grandkids. Sounds like he has a good chance of losing his daughters over this no matter what he does now. He should have tried to reach a settlement first before blowing up his family.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can buy airline tickets. In fact you can purchase them for other people.

    Load More Replies...
    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first wife cheated, and she has remained single and in poverty ever since.

    Eri J
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IMO, cheaters should get the bare minimum.

    Paul Rabit
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll be that guy and say once your kids are in school, being a SAHM is NOT HARD WORK. And it's even easier if you teach your kids personal responsibility like helping out with the chores and picking up after themselves (which as a parent you should be doing anyway). After her youngest was five, OP's ex could have gotten herself even a part-time job so she could be there when the kids get home, but even then this is a luxury that two-income households manage without ALL THE TIME. Meanwhile OP worked 12 hour days to support her, and she cheats?? GTFO!

    Jack
    Community Member
    1 week ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Absolutely correct - very good post. He's working 12 hours a day and providing while she's letting another man stick his d**k inside her. No doubt the sisterhood will say that's his fault because he was working too much.

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed at the "she missed opportunities because of you"... no, she missed them because she chose to be a SAHM on his dime instead of working her way up. And then she cheated. Pay a percentage to acknowledge raising your kids, but she doesn't get to smash those vows and be paid for it.

    Drop Bear from Hell
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Working as a quant - what the hell is a quant?

    Kathrin Pukowsky
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had to look that up, apparently it's a quantitative trader/analyst/researcher. Can't say that helped me much.

    Load More Replies...
    Manos
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A divorce means the marriage is over and it is now a financial transaction.

    Tim Gibbs
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another post about people being obsessed with money 💵

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    If you marry someone who hides money professionally, don't be surprised when he screws you as well. She knew his character and had kids with him. Everyone is the AH here.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Wow well he’s a lovely bloke isn’t he !…….NOT ,he is a patronising p r i c k , being a sahm is not easy far from , he’s not from USA ,but from abroad , tells us all we need to know here ! I do not condone cheating EVER ,but I can kinda see why she did , he clearly had no respect for her what so ever , sorry YTA he was ,I hope ex wife is happy now with a man that doesn’t put money over her n the kids ,

    lenka
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ladies.... never EVER agree to be a stay at home wife unless your husband is making contributions to your savings/pension/superannuation/401k that equal whatever his pension contributions are. If you are still together in retirement - great. You have double the savings to enjoy together. Otherwise you will be another statistic in the ever increasing cohort of middle age women who will spend their senior years living in poverty because of men like this.

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes, absolutely this! Don't fall for the 'this is so transactional' argument when you insist that as a SAHM you need to be able to save and have pension.

    Load More Replies...
    Earonn -
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder: if he had cheated, would he have agreed that she should get all the money, including his pension? Or would that have seemed too harsh to him?

    Sarah
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    But that’s not the scenario here. I wouldn’t feel it fair to hand over savings etc to a spouse who cheated on me .

    Load More Replies...
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His wife was quite stupid. She had no idea what was going on with her family's finances, decided to "stay home" and never work so she has no viable work experience and failed to count the possible cost of her infidelity. Guess she's learning the old adage, "cheaters never prosper". Perhaps if she didn't have such low character and had just gotten a divorce before starting a new relationship, things might have turned out differently.

    Natalia
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought hiding money in foreign accounts was/would be illegal

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is. Which is why he can't return to the US. See his statement saying he can't be there for his kids physically. When he checked with lawyers I believe that was for the laws of the country he's currently in, not the US where the alimony was ordered.

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She chose to stay at home and she chose to cheat.nta

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She chose to run his home and raise the kids, which she did. She contributed, therefore she is owed. This guy's an a**

    Load More Replies...
    tameson
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A woman without a career is one death or divorce away from poverty. I knew a woman who had always wanted to go to graduate school. She got accepted to her first choice school but they told her since she was married she couldn't get an assistantship. She couldn't afford it without the assistantship and ended up being a stay at home mom. Two decades later she has four kids and a husband who had quadruple bypass surgery. They both agreed it was time for graduate school. She got accepted by that same school, this time with an assistantship.

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It sounds like he never wanted her to be a SAHM and just went along with it, then once the kids were in school and she had a cushy lifestyle he still just let her and never did anything about it. If you're not happy working 12 hours a day while your partner does yoga, nails, and lunch then do something about it. I can't stand cheaters but also can't stand tax evaders who hide their money in other countries.. ESH.

    Anony Mouse
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Deadbeat bragging about skipping the country to avoid legal and financial obligations and people are defending him? So she cheated - it sounds like he was fairly absent and definitely uncommunicative. What a jerk.

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really hope it was worth it to not be able to return to the US and see his kids/grandkids. Sounds like he has a good chance of losing his daughters over this no matter what he does now. He should have tried to reach a settlement first before blowing up his family.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can buy airline tickets. In fact you can purchase them for other people.

    Load More Replies...
    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first wife cheated, and she has remained single and in poverty ever since.

    Eri J
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IMO, cheaters should get the bare minimum.

    Paul Rabit
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll be that guy and say once your kids are in school, being a SAHM is NOT HARD WORK. And it's even easier if you teach your kids personal responsibility like helping out with the chores and picking up after themselves (which as a parent you should be doing anyway). After her youngest was five, OP's ex could have gotten herself even a part-time job so she could be there when the kids get home, but even then this is a luxury that two-income households manage without ALL THE TIME. Meanwhile OP worked 12 hour days to support her, and she cheats?? GTFO!

    Jack
    Community Member
    1 week ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Absolutely correct - very good post. He's working 12 hours a day and providing while she's letting another man stick his d**k inside her. No doubt the sisterhood will say that's his fault because he was working too much.

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed at the "she missed opportunities because of you"... no, she missed them because she chose to be a SAHM on his dime instead of working her way up. And then she cheated. Pay a percentage to acknowledge raising your kids, but she doesn't get to smash those vows and be paid for it.

    Drop Bear from Hell
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Working as a quant - what the hell is a quant?

    Kathrin Pukowsky
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had to look that up, apparently it's a quantitative trader/analyst/researcher. Can't say that helped me much.

    Load More Replies...
    Manos
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A divorce means the marriage is over and it is now a financial transaction.

    Tim Gibbs
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another post about people being obsessed with money 💵

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    If you marry someone who hides money professionally, don't be surprised when he screws you as well. She knew his character and had kids with him. Everyone is the AH here.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Wow well he’s a lovely bloke isn’t he !…….NOT ,he is a patronising p r i c k , being a sahm is not easy far from , he’s not from USA ,but from abroad , tells us all we need to know here ! I do not condone cheating EVER ,but I can kinda see why she did , he clearly had no respect for her what so ever , sorry YTA he was ,I hope ex wife is happy now with a man that doesn’t put money over her n the kids ,

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